Chapter 32
“What’s the matter?”
I open my eyes, which I didn’t bother doing when the bedroom door opened a moment ago. Colt stands in the doorway, frowning at me. Like my being in bed inconveniences him somehow.
“I don’t feel well.” Please, let him leave it at that.
No. On second thought, he needs to know. For the first time in my whole life, I was glad when the cramps started this morning.
He rolls his eyes. “Come on. You know that excuse isn’t going to work.”
“It’s not an excuse.”
“What’s wrong with you, then? Are you running a fever? Because you know, he’s going to want proof—”
“I have my period, genius. I got it this morning. And if James wants proof, he can be my guest.” Uh, maybe I shouldn’t have said that. He’s just gross enough to want to examine me while I’m bleeding.
At least I have the satisfaction of watching Colt fall back a step. “Oh. I guess we didn’t think about that.”
“Of course not. You don’t have to. You’re a man.” I close my eyes and wince as a cramp takes hold. “You don’t have to go through this once a month.”
He moves closer to the bed, and I could almost laugh if I didn’t feel so miserable. It’s like he’s afraid of me somehow. Like he’s approaching an animal he’s never come close to before. All I had to do was mention my period.
“Please, I can’t do it,” I whisper, crossing my arms over my abdomen. “I just can’t, Colt.”
“You know it’s not going to work that way.”
“Why not? I’m only human. I’m not a machine or a blow-up doll. I don’t feel well. I hurt all over. Can’t you try to get through to him?”
“Yeah, right.” He flings the blankets away before folding his arms. “You need to eat something. You can’t starve yourself to death.”
“That’s not what I was trying to do. But it’s not like I’m in a big hurry to spend time with you guys. Don’t act like you don’t understand why I’d feel that way.”
“You still need to eat. Come on. One more day. You just have to get through today and tonight.”
“So it seriously doesn’t matter that I’m begging you to help me?”
“I’m trying to help you, but you’re too stubborn to see it.”
“Yeah, right. You’ve been so helpful.”
“Look, I’ll try, but I’m not going to promise something I know is impossible, and denying him isn’t possible.”
I give up. All we’re doing is talking in circles—and I am hungry, which shouldn’t come as a surprise, seeing as how I didn’t have dinner last night. Not that anybody cared.
He waits while I get out of bed, then leads the way out of the room and down the stairs.
I’m so tired, as I always am on the first day.
Not that I would expect them to care, even if they could relate to the feeling.
I go to the kitchen and sit at the table, not saying a word.
Colt only clicks his tongue and mutters to himself as he passes me, then goes to the fridge and pulls out lunch meat, cheese, lettuce, and tomato.
A loaf of fresh sourdough sits on the counter, and he pulls out a bread knife to slice it.
That knife is so tempting. What I could do with that knife…
By the time he’s finished building two sandwiches, Nix joins us.
He looks like he just got out of the shower.
His hair is damp, the T-shirt sticking to his back like he didn’t quite finish drying off before he got dressed.
“You feel like making one of those for me?” he asks his brother, jerking his chin toward the sandwiches.
“Not really.” Colt slides a sandwich my way, then sits down across from me with one of his own. Nix only rolls his eyes before throwing his own lunch together, seemingly at random.
“You don’t look so good,” he tells me while he chews, eyeing me up.
“She’s on the rag,” Colt so helpfully explains.
“Oh, well, whatever. It’s just one more night, and we had other plans tonight, anyway.”
“Other plans?”
Colt ignores my question. “That’s what I told her. Just one more night. That’s all she’s got to get through. He’s always been clear about that. Just one more night. Amanda comes home tomorrow, and that’s it.”
“And it will all be in the past,” Nix adds. I can’t tell if they’re both being dismissive or if they are this desperate to make me go along without arguing.
“That’s really easy for you guys to say,” I remind them.
My voice shakes with anger and more than a little bit of despair.
“What about me? I’m supposed to forget about this?
Pretend it never happened? How is that even possible?
Could you ever forget having the sort of things done to you that you’ve done to me?
” Now I don’t care about the sandwich, which I was only picking at, anyway.
No matter how hungry I am, I can’t seem to muster up an appetite when the time comes.
“Shit happens all the time,” Nix mutters, staring down at his sandwich while he picks the crust away.
“And what about when I meet somebody? How am I supposed to tell my boyfriend about my first sexual experience? What am I supposed to say?”
“Would you shut the fuck up about it?” Nix throws his plate into the sink. “For fuck’s sake, I’m sick of hearing you whine about this.” He storms out of the room, and I can’t pretend I’m not glad. Colt doesn’t say a word, chewing slowly and staring at the wall.
When Nix comes back, this time he’s not empty-handed. “Here.” He slams something down on the kitchen table, something small and metal with a flared base and a rounded point at the tip.
“What is this?”
“What does it look like? It’s a fucking butt plug. Don’t tell me you’ve never seen one before.”
“We’re trying to help you out here,” Colt murmurs. “Whether you believe it or not.”
“You want me to wear a butt plug? That’s the big plan for tonight?”
“The point is to loosen you up for tonight.” Nix stares at me, speaking slowly and deliberately. Like he’s trying to get the point across.
Finally, it sinks in. He’s been obsessed with my ass all this time, hasn’t he? Teasing, joking about them taking it at some point.
It looks like that’s James’s plan for tonight’s grand finale. “You’re kidding. You want me to wear this?”
“It’s either that, or you go into it without getting stretched. It’s up to you.” Nix then adds something else: a bottle of what is clearly labeled Personal Lubricant. This just gets better and better.
“We really are trying to help you,” Colt tells me. “You can either be stubborn and refuse it, or you can be smart and help yourself out a little bit. Your choice.”
I can’t believe this. I honestly can’t.
“Don’t be so nervous.” Nix waves a hand, motioning for me to get up. “I’ll help you. Don’t worry.” He smirks when I gasp in a mixture of surprise and horror. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
It’s either this or letting them hurt me later. When I think of it that way, there really isn’t much of a choice to be made, is there? I doubt this will be very comfortable, but the discomfort of having my ass taken when I’m not ready for it would be an awful lot worse.
Still, I let out a heavy sigh as I stand, taking my time unzipping my jeans and pulling them down.
“Now, it’s important that you try to relax,” Nix informs me as he pushes me down until I’m bent over the table. I hear something squirting and know it’s the lube. At least they thought of this much. Not that I’m about to thank them, but it’s still better than hurting me.
“Okay, now. Breathe out.”
I do, but a moment later, the sense of almost unbearable pressure at my back door makes me tense up.
“Relax,” he reminds me, his voice low but firm. “This is a lot easier if you don’t tense up.” I almost want to ask how he would know, but I’m not sure I want the answer.
Finally, it’s in place, and it’s about the strangest feeling I’ve ever experienced. I’m so full and stretched. It doesn’t hurt, but it doesn’t feel great, either. “And you want me to wear this all day?”
“You’ll be fine; just take it easy. Get some rest or whatever for your situation.” Nix waves a hand over his lower abdomen while grimacing. They’re like a couple of cavemen, honestly.
All I have to do is make it up the stairs when it feels like this damn plug is going to fall out of my ass at any time.
But it doesn’t, staying firmly in place as I crawl back into bed and curl into a ball, wishing I could go to sleep and wake up and have it be tomorrow already.
That the whole nightmare in front of me would already be over, and I could move on.
It’s only a few hours before my door unlocks again. Instead of barging straight in, Colt eases the door open, peering at the bed like he’s expecting me to be asleep. As it turns out, I did drift off in the middle of the book I was reading, but I got up to use the bathroom.
And the moment I got out of bed, I remembered the plug in my ass. I actually managed to forget about it for a little bit. It was nice.
I did something else, too, and the effect is just starting to kick in. “I’m awake,” I tell him, and he opens the door wider before stepping inside.
Immediately, my gaze is drawn to what he’s holding in his hand. “You can’t be serious,” I whisper, my eyes bulging at yet another plug, this one thicker and longer than the one I’m wearing now.
“It’s for your own good. Just to make sure you’re ready.”
“That thing looks like it’s going to tear me apart,” I whisper, revolted at the sight of it.
He looks down at it, tilting his head to the side. “This thing is like half the size of my cock.”
And he’s right. “Please, don’t remind me,” I mutter in absolute misery.
But even the misery isn’t as bad as it was before, thanks to that double dose of pills I took around twenty minutes ago.
I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.
Nix keeps talking about wine to take the edge off, but I would much rather take my pills.
At least I know nobody tampered with those.