Chapter 19
19
Walking into the therapy suite the next morning, she noticed that Cooper hadn’t arrived yet, so she sat down at the table, looking through his file. She’d not gone to look for him the night before. They’d crossed paths when he came to Jamie’s room to play games, but she’d left them to it. Satisfying herself with a short touch of his fingers in hers, a chaste goodnight. They’d been reckless, and she needed to keep her professional life intact till the dust settled. She saw that he had just had a routine physical check-up, and even though it felt a little intrusive, it was her job. She needed to know these things, even though it made her feel a little snoopy. His medical records talked of his scarring from the injuries to his torso, his amputation and mental profile, all done through the army medic specialists. It seemed that he had told them of his phantom limb pain recently, and discussed the fact that it was improving by using techniques from his physio, named as her. She smiled, thinking of just how far he had come, both mentally and physically. She flipped the page and noticed that Cooper had requested another check, one for sexual health reasons. The blood froze in her veins. Sexual check-up? She was just about to read further when Cooper rode through the door, a large box resting on his lap.
‘Morning,’ she said hurriedly, dropping the file on the floor in her haste to get up. Cooper wheeled over to her, quick as a flash, setting the box on the table. A waft of breakfast smells filled the air, but Kate was too busy scrambling to her knees to notice. He came alongside her, helping her to pick up some papers.
‘Whoa, you okay?’ he asked gently, shuffling the documents into a small, neat pile. ‘Where’s the fire?’
‘No fire!’ she squeaked. She cleared her throat, aware that an explosion of colour had filled her cheeks. ‘Er… nothing’s wrong, I was just checking the paperwork was up to date.’
He looked at her, passing her the papers with a slight frown. ‘See something bad in there?’
She realised he was nervous. Was he embarrassed?
‘No, nothing bad,’ she said, in a falsely calm voice. ‘Why, is there something you need to tell me?’
She searched his face for answers, but he wasn’t looking her in the eye.
‘No, nothing I need to tell you.’ She nodded.
‘Coffee’s getting cold,’ he said, turning away to the table.
She picked up one of the cups, smiling when she realised he had got her favourite caramel coffee.
‘Thanks, I needed this today.’
Cooper shrugged at her, drinking from his own cup.
‘So,’ she said, suddenly anxious to fill the silence that seemed to fill the space between them once more. ‘Ready to practice with the leg again?’
He looked her straight in the eye. ‘I asked the doctor for a test.’
‘Oh,’ she said, wishing she could shrink down into her cup and drown herself in the hot beverage. ‘Why, were you worried about something?’
He frowned at her. ‘You read my file, don’t pretend you didn’t.’
‘I did,’ she retorted. ‘I am a doctor though, so I used my discretion. It has nothing to do with your leg, so it isn’t my business.’
He scowled then. ‘It isn’t, eh? Well, fine and dandy then, isn’t it. Let’s just get on with the session.’
Kate sighed inwardly. She had upset him now, and her questions about his request for some tests not only went unanswered, but they picked at her. She wanted to know so badly, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of asking now. And what if she didn’t want to know? If he couldn’t… perform, she knew it wouldn’t be a deal breaker for her. This, between them, wasn’t about sex. Not only that, anyway. She was pretty sure the man would be able to make her come with a touch of his hands on her body. Lust wasn’t the only thing that bound them together. It was all her and Neil had ever had, she knew now. It wasn’t everything, it wasn’t enough for a lifetime together. If this was even what this was. They hadn’t exactly named it. Still, it made her a little grumpy that their last solo session was marred by their cross words.
Slinging the clipboard onto the table, she walked over to the equipment area, flinging the rubber mats to the floor haphazardly.
‘Now you’re in a mood?’ he asked, tussling with his prosthetic.
‘Nope, it’s fine. Like you said, we should get on with the session. It’s our last one, anyway.’ It was a cheap shot, but him closing down on her so easily had stung. They were still feeling each other out half the time, their struggles rising to the surface and butting heads. Cooper was in her face then, as he reached for her arm and whirled her around to face him.
‘What do you mean, our last session? Did Trevor fire you?’ His face turned to fury. ‘I’ll go talk to him.’
She reached for him, looking down at their feet. ‘Cooper, you’re standing.’
‘Yes, damn right I am. He’s not firing you over me!’
‘No!’ she exclaimed, turning her hands to clasp around his. ‘You’re standing up! You walked over to me!’
Cooper wobbled a second then, as he realised. His expression changed from anger to pure joy and he started to laugh. Kate laughed too then, and they both stood there for a long time, laughing like crazy, happy people, their hands wrapped in each other’s. She brushed away a tear from her face, and Cooper pulled her other hand in close, wrapping his left arm around her back tightly.
‘You’re crying again,’ he rumbled against her chest. ‘I don’t like this new habit of yours.’
‘I’m fine. Happy tears!’ she laughed through a sob. He was fighting, finally. ‘I’m only letting you hug me because you might fall over if I don’t,’ she said playfully. He pulled her a little closer, steadying himself.
‘That right?’ he teased. She felt his breath on her face as he moved in closer. He slowly, deliberately, rubbed his stubbly cheek against hers, making her shudder slightly. He kissed the tip of her ear, the movement making her neck tingle. ‘And what else would you let me do, to keep me on my feet?’
She was going to answer but when he rubbed his cheek against hers again, she couldn’t stand it any longer. She turned her face to meet his and kissed him hard. He didn’t miss a beat and kissed her right back. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him in, but he didn’t sway. He stood rock solid, meeting her passionate embrace with every bit of urgency that she felt. She wanted to rip his clothes off there and then, and she groaned to herself at the thought of stopping. Cooper mistook her grumble for a release of hormones, and he kissed her more ferociously. She took it as long as she could without boiling over, and then she wrenched her lips from his. He looked at her, disappointed, but seeing her as dishevelled as he was, he started to laugh again. They parted a little, Cooper again standing straight on his own.
‘And that’s why this is our last session,’ she breathed as his look turned devilish again. ‘I can’t be kissing patients at work. I told Trevor I thought you should work with Jamie.’
‘Yeah?’
‘I think you’re good for each other.’
He grinned at that. ‘Sounds like a plan, and it solves me thinking about you naked when I’m supposed to be working.’
She felt her skin flush. ‘Exactly. Once Jamie and I set up home, it will be easier. For all of us. After today, you are no longer my patient.’
‘Then we need that date,’ he said, the lust making his voice so thick it made Kate’s stomach lurch. ‘I have to get my Missy fix somehow, tide me over.’
‘I know,’ she said, trying not to pant. ‘Tonight?’
‘Tonight,’ he agreed readily. ‘I’ll make the arrangements. Seven okay?’
Kate nodded. She would have gone at any time. ‘Shall we get on?’ she asked, brushing her hair back into place. He raised his eyebrows at her as he wiped his lips on the back of his hand.
‘Sure, but get on with what?’
‘Cooper!’ She groaned. Looking down at his leg, him standing there, she had another idea. ‘For starters, let’s get some walking practice in. If you’re going to leave the chair at home for your event, we have a lot to do.’
His head fell onto her shoulder. ‘God woman, you’re a pain in my ass. Anyone ever told you that?’
‘It’s been said,’ she giggled. ‘Now get to work, soldier.’
Dinner was lovely, and now she understood just why he wanted her to dress warm. They’d been driven to a small family pub on the canal, a homely place with tiny bookshelves and knick-knacks on the walls, a roaring fire in the corner. It was such a relaxed place, couples eating, families having meals together, a few groups of drinkers milling around. They ordered stodgy pub food, and Kate cleared her plate even faster than Cooper did. At one point she looked up from her food to find him watching her open mouthed. She blushed, taking another bite, this time resisting the urge to shovel it in.
‘Want a trough?’ he teased. She rolled her eyes, mouth full of food. He laughed when she gave him the V sign. She knew he’d been trying to get her to eat more over the past few weeks. She was grateful for the care. The calorie-laden coffees, the breakfasts he brought daily. The food was lovely at the centre, but her body had been crying out for a bit of something different than perfectly balanced nutritional meals, or the one salad a day she had lived on in the weeks after the accident. She made a mental note to bring Jamie here one day, when things got better.
‘So,’ she said when she finally drew breath. ‘Is this the sort of thing you would normally do with your dates, take them to the pub?’ She took a sip of wine as she sat back on the comfy sofa. Having finished their meal, they had moved closer to the fire, taking a bottle with them. Cooper had surprised her by having a glass with her. ‘And wine drinking, I didn’t see you doing that.’
Cooper sat down next to her, his chair discreetly put in the corner by a helpful waitress. His prosthetic limb was doing well, and he seemed more relaxed than she had seen him for a while, if ever. His shoulder brushed against hers as he got comfy, and she didn’t move away.
‘Well, first of all, I didn’t really do dating, so I don’t have a dating plan. And men can drink wine, I actually enjoy a glass now and then. Not when I am… was, serving, obviously.’
Something flashed momentarily across his face, a wince maybe, and Kate waited for him to come back to her, back to the present. He smiled at her eventually, taking another gulp of wine.
‘So, no dating, ever?’ she asked, both delighted and terrified by the fact that he was so inexperienced in this area.
‘Nope,’ he said, looking right at her. ‘I have had my fair share of women, but you know the life, it’s best to have no attachments.’
Kate ignored the uneasy feeling that punched through her gut.
‘Till now,’ he added then, putting his hand over hers. He ran his thumb over the back of her hand in lazy circles, and taking her hand in his, kissing her palm.
‘You mean that? I mean, we didn’t really have the best start, did we?’
Cooper pulled her closer to him on the sofa, putting his arm around her. She caught a whiff of his aftershave as he tucked her into his side. The warmth from his body made hers tingle.
‘We didn’t have the meet cute of legends, no, but who does? We’ve been through a lot together, and we know what we want. I do, anyway.’
She squeezed his hand. ‘I saw the effect I had on you when we first met,’ she teased. Her face dropping when she thought of the hate in his expression when he’d woken up. After the surgery.
He dropped a kiss onto her lips. ‘That day wasn’t a normal day. My feelings since that day have changed so much, I wouldn’t recognise them now. I just want you to be sure, before we do say anything else, that this is what you want. I’m not capable any more of being alone; I can do it, but I don’t want to. You and Jamie are very important to me.’
Kate’s heart leapt. He was answering everything that she had wondered about, the questions that had kept her up at night, the ponderings that she had uttered to herself. She wanted him just as much, and she felt relieved that they were finally talking about it. ‘I don’t want to be alone any more either, Thomas. I… feel safe with you. You calm me down with one look. A touch of your hand.’ She squeezed his fingers with hers to illustrate her point. ‘I wish we could have more time like this, just the two of us.’
As if conjured from nowhere, a driver walked in.
‘Taxi for Cooper?’
‘Do you want to go back?’ He asked her when they were settled in the car, the street lights punctuating their journey home through the dark streets.
Kate looked at him in question. He looked nervous, his eyes were bright with emotion, and it surprised her to see it.
‘We could spend the night elsewhere, that’s what I mean. No assumptions, of course, but we could. You have the day off tomorrow, Jamie’s tucked up in bed. We could just spend the night out. Go back tomorrow, when we want to.’
Kate looked at him aghast. She knew that the driver must be able to hear them, but she found that she didn’t care. ‘What about when we go back tomorrow? People will talk.’
‘I’m not your patient any more. They don’t do bed counts for staff last time I checked, and I have something to sort out in town anyway, they’ll just think I left early.’
Kate started to shake her head. ‘I don’t think?—’
‘Exactly Kate, don’t think. Are you in, or not?’ He looked at her with such an expression of love on his face that she replied before she caught hold of any of the errant thoughts swimming around her head.
‘Yes. Are you sure though? We said we’d wait, till I left the centre.’
He looked thoughtful for a moment, and Kate cursed herself for even giving him the chance to reconsider.
‘I know,’ he said slowly, ‘but it’s just one night. It might be our only chance for a while.’ He rubbed his hand down his face and sat back in his seat. ‘Maybe I was being a little impulsive.’
It was impulsive, but she knew Trevor trusted her. Knew that she had taken steps to end her professional relationship with her patient. Today was it. She wouldn’t be on his case now, in none of his sessions. After today, they would only see each other in passing. The move was weeks away. She thought back to the file she’d read. Was that why he’d ordered the tests? To see if their love life would include… everything a man and woman could share together? She kind of wished she’d let him tell her the rest now, but she knew in her heart, it wouldn’t matter. Tonight was about being together.
Moving closer, Kate whispered to him, close enough to feel her lips on his skin.
‘Don’t take me home.’
Cooper wasted no time. He instructed the driver to go to the nearest hotel instead, and to his credit, he did just that, with the minimum of fuss. Kate went in first, and booking a room, she sat in reception, waiting for Cooper to dismiss the driver and get his chair. He came wheeling through the doors and she walked over to him. He went to go to the desk, but she touched his arm, showing him the room key.
‘I got it.’
Cooper looked annoyed for a moment, and she giggled a little, walking to the lift. He followed grumpily. They entered the small space and she laughed out loud when the doors closed.
‘Don’t be so grumpy! You can pay me half back, if that’s the problem.’
‘I can pay my way you know,’ he said begrudgingly. ‘I wanted this to be my treat.’ Kate rolled her eyes, leading the way out of the lift.
‘Good, because I have a son and a messy divorce to pay for. You can pay for breakfast.’
His mouth twitched, and he slowly followed her out of the lift onto the corridor. Once in the room, the door closed behind them, they both stood looking at each other. This was it. All those miles, all those hours, all those moments together… this was it.