Chapter 3
THREE
FROST
Lexi. It was a name that had haunted my entire life.
A name that held me hostage, that ripped me back into scores of memories I willingly chose to suppress, and reminded me of the one biggest mistake I had ever made with my life.
I listened as everyone backtracked. I felt the security guard’s eyes on my back before he retreated into the hospital with those three Banderas fucktards.
While Lexi continued to stare me right in the face?
“You’re my contact?” I asked when I knew we were alone.
She pointed to the ground. “Those bags are yours. Let Notch know I won’t be--.”
I reached out and grabbed her arm. “You’re my fucking contact, Lexi? Are you insane?”
She ripped away from me. “You’re fucking alive, Dean? Are you insane?”
“Why the hell are you dealing shit to us? Have you lost your mind?”
She scoffed. “Says the man coming to pick it up.”
“What have you done? What deal did you strike with Notch?”
She brushed past me. “You can go back to being dead now. And make sure to relay my notice to Notch!”
I can’t let her go. Not again.
I rushed after her, stopping just short of the ambulance doors she hopped through. She threw one of the doors closed in my face, and I knew that if I didn’t act quickly, she’d close herself up in that vehicle and never come out.
So, without thinking, I leapt inside before she had a chance to block herself out of my sight.
“What the fuck!?” she exclaimed.
I reached out and closed the ambulance door myself. “We need to talk. Now.”
“Oh, hell no. We aren’t doing this,” she spat as she leaned against the wall, desperate to get away from me. “Out. Get out of this ambulance now.”
“No. Not until we--.”
“I said, out, Dean!”
I lunged toward her and clapped my hand over her mouth. “Lexi, it’s just me.”
She smacked my hand away from her lips. “I know it’s you! I’d know your touch anywhere. Now, it’s time for you to go.”
She reached around me and tried to open the door, but I grabbed her wrist and tossed it off to the side.
Her eyes widened before they watered over, but I wasn’t sure if it was from the surprise of my appearance or from the sheer amount of antiseptic on the shelves.
She had stopped raising her voice, but the more she fought to get me out of that ambulance, the louder we became.
So, I did the only thing that I knew would calm her down.
I grabbed her wrists, pinned her to the shelving units behind her, and pressed my leg between her thighs.
“Lexi-doll, breathe for me.”
She instantly relaxed, even though panic still gripped her face. “You’re--you’re alive.”
I swallowed hard. “Yeah, I am.”
She shook her head. “This isn’t real. This isn’t happening.”
I released her wrists and cupped her cheeks softly. “Are you alright? Did any of those guys do anything to you?”
Her focus snapped back. “I’m fine, Dean. But, thank you for your help.”
I cupped the back of her neck. “I have to admit, I’m shocked to see you around town.”
She scoffed. “Took the damn words right out of my mouth.”
Seeing her again brought back so many emotions and memories. Things that I had stuffed down and refused to admit. The way we ended was so fucked up, and yet it was the only thing I knew to do at the time to keep her safe.
But the way my heart slammed against my chest, one would’ve thought my love for her had never dissipated.
“Dean,” she whispered.
I slid my thumb up and down her pulse point. “You look as beautiful as ever, Lexi.”
She smiled softly as a tear worked its way down her flushed cheek. “You look pretty good for a dead man.”
I snickered. “You seem to be taking that news better than I figured you would.”
She shrugged. “I guess part of me never wanted to believe you were dead.”
Her eyes softened and, for just a moment, I thought she was going to kiss me. Her eyes darted to my lips and my stomach knotted tightly with my soul. My hand moved to her cheek, cupping it softly the way I always did so many years ago.
Then, her eyes hardened before she smacked my touches away. “What the hell are you doing here anyway? Picking up stolen shit out of an ambulance? Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
She shoved me with a force that surprised even myself, and had I not caught myself I would’ve fallen right against the drawers that held all of their needles.
“Lexi, I can explain,” I said with a grunt.
She snickered. “You better fucking start talking before I drag your ass out of here with my own two hands. I thought you were dead, for crying out loud!”
I rushed her and placed my finger to her lips. “We have to keep it down.”
She smacked her hand away from my face. “I’m not your sweet little girl anymore, Dean. Don’t fuck with me. Answer my questions or get the hell out of my face. You stopped talking to me all those years ago and I seriously thought you were dead!”
I chuckled. “It’s not like you tried reaching out to me after everything happened.”
“Well, I took a job here and moved after you fell off the face of the fucking earth. That’s what happened. I had no way to fend for myself. I had no money. I had no hope, Dean!”
She folded her arms over her chest, obviously waiting for my own response. But I stayed silent.
And for her own good, I didn’t talk about it. “Look, this isn’t the place to get into all of this right now, but I’m just glad you’re safe,” I said.
Her eyebrows rose. “And why did you think I wouldn't be okay? Because I don’t have you as my bodyguard all the damn time?”
I shook my head. “No. It’s because the man that almost gunned you down out there is the man I also just got into a shootout with earlier this evening.”
Anger flooded her face. “You’re the reason why these men are in the hospital right now?”
And when I didn’t answer, she shoved past me to reach for the ambulance doors. “Fuck you and your bullshit, Dean. You were never good for me, and you never will be.”
I grabbed her wrist just before she threw the door open, and electricity sizzled up my arm.
It stood every hair on the nape of my neck on end, and I watched as goosebumps fled across her skin.
I knew she felt it. I knew it wasn’t just me.
But she quickly pulled her wrist from my hand and hissed at me.
“Touch me again and be prepared to lose your fucking hand.”
I sighed. “Can you just tell me what the hell happened out there before I showed up?”
She scoffed. “Why? So, you can go stalk the man and kill him for touching your woman? Is that it?”
I narrowed my eyes. “These men aren’t to be fucked with, Lexi. They could seriously hurt you.”
“Like you’ve hurt me?”
Her words broke my heart. “Lexi, I’m just--.”
She opened the door. “Why don’t you go ask your buddy, since you guys are so close that you’re exchanging bullets? You clearly know him.”
“Those guys sure as hell are not my buddies.”
She stepped out out of the back of the ambulance and held her arms open. “Could’ve fooled me, Lazarus.”
I eased out after her as she walked toward the bags on the ground. “Will you just hold on for a second?”
She grabbed them and whipped around, lowering her voice. “What? What the hell could you still possibly want?”
I stepped in front of her. “I just want to know--.”
She pointed up into my face. “No, you’re done asking questions.
I’m the one with questions you get to answer now, got it?
And you can start with who they are and how you know them and why the fuck the guy we both know is cashing in on his favor and making me steal shit off the back of my ambulance. The honest answer, this time.”
I shook my head. “I can’t tell you how I know them, nor can I tell you what the supplies are for.”
“And that is why I would’ve rather you stayed dead.”
“Look,” I said as I kept her from walking away, “it’s incredibly important that you tell me about your interactions with them exactly.”
“Why? Because I might be in trouble?”
I stood there, hoping and praying that she’d spit it out. But all she did was cackle.
“Wow, Dean. Fuck you, honestly.”
I tried to reach for her arm. “Lexi, this is serious.”
She pulled away from me again. “And I’m serious as well, Dean.
Read my lips: corner me again at my place of work and I will have you blacklisted from this entire hospital.
You got it? You never could give me a straight answer then, and I won’t allow you to drag me back down that road.
Not after the progress I’ve made in my life.
Not after I had to pick up the broken pieces of my soul that you crushed.
You don’t get to do this to me. You don’t get to stroll in, demand information, steal supplies, and then poof away in the wind like you were never here.
Fuck you and your bullshit. I was done with you the second I declared you dead. ”
And as she turned to walk away, I said the only thing I knew to say to keep her around. “Can you at least tell me why the fuck you’re in that ridiculous EMT uniform instead of your scrubs? I thought you were on your way to becoming a doctor.”
She froze, and the look she gave me iced my soul over. “You said you were meeting someone here, right?”
“Lexi, don’t do that.”
She scoffed. “Don’t do what? Withhold information the way you always do? Fucking hypocrite. I’m glad you left.”
I tried not to show how much her words stung. “Yes, I’m here to pick up supplies from you, but if I had known--.”
She peered over her shoulder, and I felt her judging me.
I cut off my words as her eyes navigated all the way down my body, as if she were drinking in the audacity I had.
She studied me for a long time before her eyes narrowed, and that’s when she rushed me.
She charged me so quickly that I backed myself against the ambulance, waiting for her to swing at my jaw or some shit.
Then, she chewed on the inside of her cheek while pinning me with a glare. “If you’re here to steal drugs and go sell them on the street, then you can—.”
I cut her off. “I’m not. That’s not even remotely what this is about. But, you should think twice before blindly doing favors for people you don’t even know.”
She raked her eyes up and down my body before she scoffed. “Just leave before I decide to knock you out with my medicine bag. I’m tired of looking at you. Your shit’s over there on the ground. Take it, and tell Notch to lose my fucking number.”
I walked over to the supplies. “You shouldn’t be doing this, by the way. Stealing from your work like this.”
“And you shouldn’t be asking people to do it on your behalf, hypocrite. Take those bags and get the fuck out of my life.”
And as I watched her climb back into the ambulance and quickly shut the doors, I pulled out my phone to text Notch.
Me: Got the supplies. On my way back.
Except, even with the supplies in hand, I couldn’t bring myself to leave.
I had no idea if I could leave the hospital now that I knew Lexi worked for the system.
As God as my witness, I never thought I’d encounter her again after everything that happened.
Yes, I fucked up. Yes, I broke her heart.
And yes, it was to protect her and keep her alive.
Every single effort I’d ever put into our relationship was either love or protection, because that was exactly what she deserved.
But, if my absence was what she really longed for, then I loved her enough to give it to her.
Why the hell did she stop pursuing her medical degree?
That question ran through my mind as I focused on the task at hand and made my way to my bike.
I shoved the supplies we desperately needed into the storage compartment on the back of my motorcycle, but something in my gut kept me from slinging my leg over the piece of machinery.
My gaze darted toward the ambulance where Lexi sat, locked away from the world and ready to forget about me all over again.
But, as I watched those Banderas fuckers come soaring out of the E.R.
doors, they talked loudly enough for me to hear them.
“He’s dead. Our man is dead, and they’re all going to pay. Every single fucking one of them.”
I held my breath as the man withdrew his gun off his hip.
“Starting with that trembling little bitch from the ambulance.”