Chapter 17 Frost
SEVENTEEN
FROST
I had no reason to be upset with her, that much was for certain.
But I couldn't help the anger that rose up within me the second she confirmed what I had first thought when I saw that little girl through the window of her apartment.
The shock of it all made me sick to my stomach.
All that time I was out there gallivanting around and chasing down that cell, Lexi had been across the world raising my daughter.
I had no right to be angry. I had no right to be pissed off at the fact that Lexi had kept this from me up until this point.
Because the truth of the matter was… she had no other choice.
She did try to contact me. She did try to track me down.
And in some ways, I ignored her. I ignored the chance I was given to send her a letter, documenting the fact that I was alive and that I wouldn’t be home for a while.
I had the opportunity, and I didn’t take it under the guise of “saving my energy” for an oncoming attack.
The only person I deserved to be angry with was myself.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” I whispered into her hair.
The regret threatened to drown me. I blinked back tears and swallowed hard, trying to contain myself as Lexi wrapped her arms around me and held me as tightly as she could. But we were also out of time. I had to get her to safety sooner rather than later.
Then, Lexi and I could keep talking about all of this.
“Hold on,” I murmured.
Lexi released me. “Is everything all right? I didn’t hear anything outside.”
I held up my finger before I dug my phone out of my jacket pocket.
I shot a text to West, telling him to pick up whatever Natty and Chloe might need at the last minute before taking them straight to the warehouse.
I told him that I’d bring Lexi on the back of my bike, but I wanted to get them out of there as soon as possible.
Because my daughter wasn’t going to be a sitting duck while I tried to sift through my emotions.
“What’s going on?” Lexi asked.
I waited for West’s confirmation, and when I got it, I heard his bike engine strike up. “I’m having West guide Chloe and Natty to the warehouse. You can come with me on the back of my bike.”
“Is there any reason why they’re leaving now and we’re not?”
I slid my phone back into my jacket pocket. “Because I’d like to keep talking before we go back to being in a crowded situation, if you don’t mind.”
“Is Natty going to be safe?”
He nodded. “I trust West with my life on a daily basis. So, I absolutely trust him with Chloe and Natty.”
She smiled. “Okay, then.”
As the engine of West’s bike merged with the engine of whatever vehicle they had pulled up in, I listened as they made their way out of the complex. I didn’t dare move, or speak, or even breathe heavily, until I knew they were out of the complex and soaring down the road.
Then, I allowed my anger to overwhelm me as I whipped around and punched my fist through my living room wall.
“Dean!” Lexi exclaimed.
I pulled my hand out and shook it. “It’s fine. I’m not bleeding.”
But she still rushed over and inspected every knuckle on my hand. “What the hell was that for?”
“I’m just so fucking angry at myself right now.”
“Hey, look at me.”
I shook my head. “I can’t. Not right now.”
She gripped my chin and forced my eyes in her direction. “Now, Dean. I didn’t give you a choice.”
I sighed as I gazed into her eyes. “I don’t know how you’re ever going to forgive me.”
She smiled softly. “I’ve already forgiven you, Dean. I love you. I never stopped loving you. You just have to forgive yourself. You have to allow yourself to accept the decisions you made, okay?”
I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t deserve you; you know.”
She stood on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek softly.
“You deserve more than you realize. You paint yourself as this person that simply doesn’t exist. You think you’re cold-hearted, and mean, and grizzly, and broken.
But, the truth of the matter is that you may be a bit hardened on the outside, but you’re still the same softy Dean I fell in love with all those years ago. ”
I grinned. “I was never a softy.”
She winked. “Maybe not always. But, mostly.”
I wrapped my arms around her waist. “I love you, Lexi.”
She smiled so brightly that her eyes almost closed. “I love you too, Dean.”
“Do you think you could ever forgive me for this?”
She knocked her knuckles against my head softly.
“Hello? Is anyone there? I already told you that I’ve forgiven you.
I forgave you a long time ago. Not too long after I gave birth, actually.
Anger isn’t a productive emotion. It does nothing except rob you of your energy and time, and I didn’t want to spend my time being angry with a man that died overseas because I figured…
why? Why be upset when his death wasn’t his fault? ”
I pulled her in for another tight hug. “You’re outstanding, you know that?”
She wrapped her arms tightly around me. “Not as outstanding as you.”
I buried my face into the crook of her neck, nuzzling against her soft skin. She sighed for me, her back bowing as she pressed her body closer to mine. My lips puckered, kissing her softly as she melted into me.
And as I backed her toward the couch, the two of us tumbled down to the cushions.
“Is this smart?” she asked breathlessly.
I cupped her clothed breast as I kissed along her jawline. “We won’t have a lot of privacy where we’re going.”
She wrapped her legs around me. “Then, by all means, continue, handsome.”
I wanted to completely strip her down and enjoy every inch of her body. I wanted to slide to the floor and worship her the way she deserved. But we’d have time for that at a later date.
Right now, all I wanted was her tight pussy wrapped around my cock.
“Come here,” I growled.
She squealed as I pushed her summer dress up over her belly button. I pulled my cock out effortlessly as she gripped tightly to my leather jacket. I pushed my jeans down to my knees, guiding the tip of my thickness toward her wet entrance.
And as I eased myself inside, the feeling of her stole my breath away.
“Oh, fucking hell,” she whispered.
I pumped softly. Slowly. Allowing her body to open for me at the pace it wished. And with every inch her pussy devoured, my body rededicated itself to her. It was as if I had been given a massive “restart” button, and all I had to do was press it.
So, as my hips finally sank against her own, I pinned her wrists to the cushions so she couldn’t move.
Before I pulled all the way out and plunged back into her depths.