Chapter 10 #2
I grabbed a regular Coke and a diet from the fridge. “And you need to remove the stick shoved where the sun doesn’t shine.”
Annoyance flickered in Caden’s expression. “I’m not in preschool, and this isn’t snack time.”
I handed him the sodas and took the two plates to the table. “Are you so old that you can’t get up and down anymore? Do I need to get you a cane?”
Caden’s lips twitched. “If I break a hip, it’s on you.”
I pulled out two of the meditation cushions I used for seats. They were both jewel-toned with rich gold embroidery. “Here, this should help your delicate disposition.”
Caden had set us both up on the same side of the coffee table so we could lean against the couch. I lowered myself to my cushion and mentally calculated the carbs in my meal, then adjusted my insulin pump.
“What are you doing?”
Caden’s gravelly voice skated over my skin. He was close—too close—but I couldn’t let that show.
“I told you before; I’m just giving myself insulin to cover my carbs.”
“I know, but how do you know how much to give yourself?”
My back teeth ground together at his doubt. “I’ve lived with this disease for a while. I know roughly how many carbs are in everything I consume on a regular basis.”
Caden studied me as if he weren’t totally convinced.
The annoyance burned brighter. “I have been keeping myself alive for the past eleven years.”
Pain streaked across his eyes, and I instantly felt like a jerk.
I gentled my tone. “I just mean, I’ve been doing this for a long time. I’ve got it down.”
Caden nodded, taking a bite of his slice. “Damn, I always forget how good this is.”
“Better than New York?”
He chuckled. “Nothing’s better than New York pizza. But this reminds me of home. How many times did we order more pies than I could count?”
A million different memories flitted through my mind.
My house had always been the gathering spot growing up.
Holt, Wren, Nash, Maddie, Caden, and I would pile into the movie room with half a dozen pizza boxes.
Or we’d order after playing an epic round of Ghost in the Graveyard around our property.
Or after a day of swimming in the creek or four-wheeling around the mountains.
There was nothing like those exhausted summer nights when we’d laugh until my parents forced us all to go to sleep.
I missed it. How simple things were. The belief that things would always work out.
“Gigi?”
I shook myself out of the memories, my gaze locking with Caden’s. “I miss it.”
“Miss what?”
“Those days. How easy everything was before life got complicated.”
Caden’s eyes bored into me as if they could read all my secrets. “I know what you mean.”
Our lives had been torn apart in one way or another after those blissful summer nights. But I guessed that was what happened when you grew up. Everyone had their baggage.
“How are things at the resort?” I asked, trying to steer us away from conversations that reminded me just how much I’d lost.
A flicker of something passed over Caden’s expression. It was so quick that I likely would’ve missed it if I didn’t know him.
“What’s wrong?”
Caden took another bite of pizza, seeming to mull over his words. “Just more of Gabe being an ass.”
“I’m sorry.” Caden’s older brother had always been a piece of work. The guy honestly gave me the creeps. He had no sense of personal space whenever I saw him, and he stared in a way that made me want to shower.
Caden leaned back against the sofa. “I think he sees me coming back to Cedar Ridge as some sort of personal attack.”
“But your dad made you come home, didn’t he?”
Caden nodded. “That doesn’t matter to Gabe. He just sees me encroaching on his turf and thinks we need to go to war.”
My heart ached for him. I couldn’t imagine being at odds with my brothers the way he was. Sure, they annoyed the crud out of me, meddled and interfered, and were ridiculously overprotective, but I knew it came from a place of love. I had no idea how Caden’s family had become so twisted.
“Do your parents see it?” I asked quietly.
A muscle in his jaw ticked. “Yeah. It upsets my mom, but I get the sense my dad likes it.”
My stomach twisted, and I moved on instinct, reaching out and taking Caden’s hand. My fingers grazed his calluses as I squeezed. “I’m so sorry.”
He stared down at our joined hands. “I keep thinking that if the hotels are in a good enough spot, my dad will let up, and we can be a family again. But it’s never enough for him.”
I gripped Caden’s hand tighter. “Family is supposed to support each other no matter what’s going on.”
“I think the only one who did that was Clara.”
The cracks in my heart deepened, fracturing muscle and tissue. “She’d want you to be happy.”
Caden swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “She’d want us to be a family.”
I was quiet for a moment, and then I said what I’d wanted to for so long. “She wouldn’t want you to bleed yourself dry for people who don’t give a damn about you.”
Caden’s gaze jerked up. “You cursed.”
I shrugged. “Sometimes, you need those words for emphasis.”
He stared into my eyes. “I can’t give up. Not yet. Not on The Peaks. Not on the foundation.”
“You’re slowly killing yourself.” I’d seen it over the years in my brief glimpses of Caden. The mischief had gone out of his eyes. The banter and troublemaking were forced. He didn’t have the same life in him. “I hate it.”
Gold fire lit in those hazel eyes. “How do you see everything?”
“Because I’ve known you almost all my life.” And I’d paid far too close attention.
Caden’s thumb brushed back and forth across my hand. The motion pulled me toward him. Closer and closer. Each millimeter tempting fate.
His eyes burned brighter, his gaze zeroing in on my lips.
My heart hammered against my ribs. Just a breath away.
An owl hooted, and Caden jerked back, dropping my hand as if he’d been burned. He snatched up his Coke and took a long drink, not meeting my eyes.
My face flamed as my stomach pitched. I scrambled to my feet. “I forgot I have to prep for a trip for later this week. I’m going to eat while I work. There are blankets and pillows in the hall closet.”
I didn’t wait for an answer. I took my pizza and soda and booked it to my bedroom. But the image of Caden jerking away was burned into my brain. Just another reminder that he would never want me the way I craved him. The sooner I accepted that truth, the sooner I could move on.