Chapter 21
HALLIE
I rubbed my eyes as I sat in the elementary school pickup line. They burned as if they’d been repeatedly doused in acid. I guessed going on five or so hours of sleep each night would do that.
It had been a while since I’d had to function like this, but the past two weeks had done it to me. It was a mixture of nightmares and missing Lawson. Because while he was physically present, he was a million miles away mentally.
He’d put up an invisible forcefield between us. I’d touched on a sore spot, and he’d cast me out.
Everything about it hurt—the distance and the fact that he had obviously cared deeply for the boys’ mom. You didn’t have the sort of reaction Lawson did if you didn’t care.
Just the thought made me nauseous. And that made me foolish on top of it all. More than that, it made me feel na?ve and silly, like a little girl whose crush had rejected her.
The doors to the school opened, and Charlie was one of the first kids out. I slid out of the SUV and met him on the other side as he launched himself at me. “I missed you!”
My heart squeezed. “I missed you, too.”
He tipped his head back and grinned at me. “Are you excited to see Emmaline?”
“I can’t wait. I put my hair in a braid just in case she’s hungry.”
Charlie laughed. “Don’t worry. I’ll bring extra treats.”
Aspen waved at us from down the pickup line. “See you in a few?”
I nodded. “Need me to bring anything?”
She shook her head. “I brought extras home from the bakery.”
I’d never argue with that.
I got Charlie settled in the car, and we headed for Aspen’s house. Charlie bounced his feet up and down in a rhythm that was only his. “Do you think Dad’ll get Drew a puppy for his birthday?”
I winced as I made the turn onto Aspen’s street. “I don’t know, buddy. A dog is a big undertaking.”
“I’ll help! Promise. I’ll even pick up the gross poop.”
A laugh bubbled out of me at that. “That’s really nice of you.”
Charlie grinned. “I’m really good with animals.”
“You are the best.”
And I wished the kids could have that puppy they wanted so much. I hadn’t broached the subject with Lawson. Mostly because he hadn’t seemed very open to conversation at all with me lately. It stung more than I wanted to admit.
“Maybe I’ll be a vet instead of a scientist,” Charlie said thoughtfully.
“That would be an amazing job. Think about all the animals you could help.”
His whole face lit up at the idea, and his little legs bounced harder. “Vet and SAR searcher!”
Warmth spread through me at what a great kid Charlie was. “You make the world a better place, buddy.”
Charlie stilled. “Really?”
My gaze flicked to the rearview mirror. “One hundred percent. You’re kind and caring. You want to help people and animals. That’s the best kind of person in my book.”
His chest puffed up with pride. “Thanks, Hallie.”
“I’ll always tell you how awesome you are.”
I pulled into a makeshift parking spot next to Aspen’s station wagon and an unfamiliar SUV. Charlie was unbuckling himself before I could even get out of my seat. “Can I go? Can I?”
“Be free,” I said with a laugh.
Charlie launched himself from the SUV. I followed behind him, not even coming close to keeping up. He ran ahead toward Aspen, Cady, and a taller figure. It took me a second to recognize the vet from my first day at Aspen’s.
Heat hit my cheeks as I remembered my freak-out. As I walked, I worked on keeping my breaths even and steady. When I reached the group, Charlie was peppering the man with questions.
“What school do you need to be a vet? Can I come work with you now? What kinds of animals do you take care of?”
The man let out a warm laugh. “That’s a lot of questions. Do you want to be a vet?”
Charlie nodded, his head bobbing so fast he was a blur. “I just decided. I’m gonna be a vet and a SAR searcher.”
“Sounds like a great combo to me. I think being a vet is pretty darn fun.” He glanced up at me, green eyes shining in the sunlight. “Hi, Hallie. How are you settling in?”
My hands fisted. “Hi. Everything has been really good, Dr…”
“Damien,” he reminded me.
“Right. Sorry, I’m meeting a lot of new people.”
He chuckled. “I bet. Even in a small town, there are endless introductions.” He turned to Aspen. “I think we should put Gertie on an antibiotic and a probiotic. That should help even things out. If she doesn’t improve in forty-eight hours, let me know, and I’ll come back.”
“Sounds good. Thanks, Damien.” Aspen glanced at me. “Goat with an upset stomach.”
“Poor Gertie,” I mumbled. That did not sound fun for any of the parties involved.
Damien nodded, empathy filling his expression. “Usually, antibiotics help within twenty-four hours. Sometimes, even sooner. Hopefully, she’ll be right as rain tomorrow.”
“That’s good.”
“I’m going to check on Mabel and Phineas,” Damien said, heading for the pasture.
“I wanna watch!” Charlie yelled.
They were already moving before I could stop them. Damien was good with the kids, explaining what he was doing while Aspen held the animals steady, and I watched from the fence line. The Hartley boys needed a pet. That was clear as day. I just needed to figure out a way to make it happen.
Damien closed his medical bag after finishing his exam and headed back toward me and the fence.
“Thank you for showing Charlie what you were doing,” I said.
He waved me off. “It’s nothing. It’s nice to have helpers.”
“If you’re not careful, Charlie will start showing up at your office.”
Damien chuckled. “Might not be so bad if his nanny comes with him.”
I bit the inside of my cheek, unsure what to say.
He studied me for a moment. “Would you like to grab coffee sometime? I could show you around Cedar Ridge.”
My stomach flipped and twisted. Damien was handsome with his dark hair and piercing green eyes, but I didn’t feel that pull. The only person I’d felt that pull with was my boss. Despite the fact that he didn’t want anything to do with me and was clearly still in love with his ex.
“It’s totally okay if you’d rather not,” Damien quickly assured me.
“I, um, can I think about it?” If I wanted normal, I needed to reach for it. That meant friends and dates and everything that went along with it.
He grinned at me. “Of course.” He pulled a card from his pocket. “This has my cell at the bottom.”
“Thanks.”
Damien gave me another smile and headed for his SUV.
“What was that about?” Aspen asked, sidling up to me as the kids brushed Mabel.
“He, uh, asked me to get coffee.”
A smile split Aspen’s face. “A date with Dr. Hottie?”
I laughed. “What a nickname. I told him I needed to think about it.”
Concern filled Aspen’s expression. “That’s fair. You want to talk it through?”
I shook my head. I wasn’t ready to explain my past, and I certainly didn’t want her to know I was hung up on a certain boss of mine.
“Drew wants a puppy for his birthday,” I said, trying to change the subject.
Aspen leaned against the fence. “He and Charlie have been asking forever. Luke will even get in on the action sometimes. Think Law’ll do it?”
I bit my lip. “I’m going to talk to him about it. I’m home for most of the day, so it seems like it might be feasible.”
“Never hurts to ask, and Damien has a litter of puppies right now. Someone found a stray, and she ended up being pregnant. Gave birth a month or so ago, so I think the puppies will be ready in another couple of weeks.”
The boys would be thrilled. And I wouldn’t mind having a cute, cuddly thing around either. I just had to find a way to get Lawson to talk to me. Really talk. But that might take a miracle.
Drew opened the door to the house, holding it for me with a smile.
“Well, thank you. Such a gentleman.”
His grin only widened. “The babes love chivalry.”
I laughed, ushering Charlie inside. As we made our way into the living room, I found Luke and Lawson in the kitchen, pulling dinner together. The sight stopped me in my tracks.
They were chopping up vegetables for what looked like stir-fry. They looked so much alike, especially working in tandem. Luke glanced up. “Dad’s trying to cook something new. Everyone beware.”
Lawson sent him a wan look. “Have a little faith in your old man.”
“Bruh,” Drew started. “You only know how to make three things. Maybe Hallie should oversee this.”
Lawson’s gaze flicked to me. As our eyes locked, they held. His attention being on me while I felt the distance hurt.
“I can—”
I cut Lawson off before he could cast me out again. “Let me just wash my hands.”
I set my coat and bag down and headed for the kitchen.
“You can take over for me,” Luke offered. “I need to call Vi.”
“Charlie, want to play some Xbox?” Drew asked.
Charlie grinned. “Yes!”
“Homework?” Lawson asked.
“Finished it in afternoon study hall,” Drew called as he and Charlie raced for the den.
Turning on the water, I dipped my hands in the stream before soaping them up. Once I’d rinsed, I dried them on a towel and donned an apron. “What can I do?” I asked Lawson.
His throat worked as he swallowed. “Snap peas would be good.”
I took Luke’s place and began chopping as Lawson sliced the red pepper. He didn’t say a word. Didn’t ask about my day or the boys. Everything about it felt wrong. The silence was oppressive.
My mind swirled with what to say, something to close the distance.
Lawson started to hum. The tune wasn’t familiar, but just the faint musical trill had my palms dampening. My breaths came quicker, turning into short pants, one tripping over the next. Black spots danced in front of my vision as memories assailed me.
The bite of a knife slashing my skin, digging into my flesh. The burn of the branding iron on my hip.
I dropped the knife. “Please, stop.”
My words were barely audible, but Lawson froze.
“What? What happened?”
My hands shook violently, and I had the urge to sink to the floor. “He hummed when he hurt us.”