Chapter 16 #2
My heart pounded in my ears, and I held tight, burying my face in the crook of his neck to hide how tears stung my eyes. Swallowing them, I pressed my mouth to his salty skin, letting my teeth dig in a little as the taste flooded my mouth and his aroused grunt made me harder, made me ache.
I wanted him inside me, as close and deep as I could get him. Wanted it so bad I smarted and throbbed all over, but it wasn’t happening. Not tonight and not like this. Because if we took it that far, I’d never survive when he pulled away again. When we had to face everything we were ignoring.
So I got my hands between us, wrapped them around both of our cocks and squeezed, sweat and saliva and the fluid we’d leaked slicking my grip as I made a channel for us to fuck.
How many times had we done it, just like this? Trying to be silent and fast and not get caught.
My breaths came faster, my stomach muscles tightening as we chased our climaxes, hard flesh thrusting, catching, gliding.
Gus’ fingers knotted in my hair as he tugged my head back, tilted my face up for a demanding, messy kiss.
Time spiraled out, elongated and contracted, moments and mounting pleasure stretching on and on until forever, and still never long enough.
“Kit,” Gus moaned, teeth closing on my bottom lip, hard enough that a quick flash of pain made it so much sweeter when he used his tongue to soothe it away. “I wish I was inside you… wish I’d stayed there and never left.”
“Ha, mmn.” I struggled for what to say, but in the end, I wished the same thing. The hollow wretched bruise inside my chest had never healed, and I’d never been able to let him go. Not completely. Maybe never would.
Pleasure and lust and the horrible counterpoint of years-old agony collided and brought everything into stunning relief.
The way the muscles in his arms and shoulders bunched and flexed, the hot grip of my own hands around us, the masculine scent of sex and Gus, our taste lingering in my mouth, his dark eyes staring into mine, wanting me, needing me.
“You’re so damn beautiful,” Gus whispered, low and almost pained.
“You always have been, and I never told you enough. I should’ve…
” I squeezed a little tighter around us.
He let out a wounded sound, and I felt his cock swelling against mine.
I was the mouthy one in bed, not Gus. He’d always been so quiet, but his words unlocked feelings I wished were dead and buried.
“Should’ve told you every second of every fucking day because it’s true. ”
Gasping his name, I shuddered, body clenching tight, balls heavy as heat and pressure coiled in my groin.
I shoved upward against him, again and again, driving my throbbing cock against his, through my tunneled fingers.
“I… Jesus, Gus. I should’ve told you too.
You’re so handsome and good it breaks my heart. Just—oh fuck. Kiss me.”
It was uncoordinated and sweet, and I couldn’t hold out anymore.
Thighs quaking, breathy half-realized whimpers coming from one of us or maybe both; I squeezed my eyes shut and helplessly arched into the spiraling desperate, needy pleasure of it all.
“I'm close,” I panted against his mouth. “I'm so close, Gus.”
“Yeah, do it for me, Kit.” His voice was so raspy it grated like sandpaper over my nerves, heat gathering in my lower abdomen, pushing me closer to the edge, seconds from combusting.
“You too. I want… mnh. Want to feel you go against me.”
“I will. I will, Lovely, right after you.” The strain in his voice said he was holding back by the skin of his teeth, and I went boiling all over, muscles tensing, body bracing.
And there it was, climax cresting, point of no return, crashing into me like a thousand stars colliding, detonating inside me.
“Gus,” I groaned as my cock pulsed against his, shooting warm gushes between us, over my hands and our shafts, making everything wetter, more intense.
Flying, thrumming on pleasure so deep and hard, I couldn’t keep my voice down.
Breathy, anguished whimpers escaped me along with his name, over and over.
I kissed him, sucking on his bottom lip as I rode out waves of pounding bliss-soaked joy.
Gus growled low in his throat, one of his hands squeezing around mine as he thrust faster against my sensitive cock, and then he was coming too, my name torn from his lungs like it hurt in the best way. Like it was so important, so precious, he had to get it out.
He wrung the last shuddering, aching spurts of pleasure from us, and collapsed hard, squishing the breath out of me and making me laugh, half-hysterical with the glow of the best climax I’d had in years. Sated in a way I hadn’t been for ages.
And as promised, I held him after, cradled to me while our skin cooled and our breaths slowed, floating in a make-believe space where we didn’t acknowledge this would lead to ruin, but instead stroked gentle fingers over well-remembered bodies in soothing patterns I'd thought long forgotten.
Burying my nose in his thick dark hair, I breathed in the clean scent of his soap mingled with fresh sweat and wished I could hold him like this forever.