Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Gus
IT WAS STILL DARK WHEN I woke, the streetlamp’s light glowing around the edges of the thick curtains.
Sprawled on my back, I blinked dazedly at the white ceiling and soaked up the warmth of Kit pressed full-body against my side.
His hair tickled my shoulder, dry again after we’d showered.
My left arm was in a vise grip between his as he slept, holding on like he wasn’t ready to let go yet either.
Shame was a sluggish burn in my chest. I’d practically begged him to take me to bed, to make me feel better.
This wasn’t good for either of us, but I couldn’t find it in me to wish it hadn’t happened.
I’d spent so long convincing myself I’d blown it all out of proportion, the way it felt to be with Kit.
That in the end, what we’d felt wasn’t anything other than newly awakened lust and my desperate heart clinging to memories, missing my best friend.
Having him in my arms again made it impossible to deny the truth; I’d been so in love with Kit that my entire existence since he left had been like living in the graveyard of us. I never stopped loving him, even though that would have been best for both of us.
Nothing had changed since I broke it off—he was still meant for greater things than me and this city—but I couldn’t stop myself from wanting. Kit Lovely was wound into the fibres of my heart and I couldn’t cut him out. Trying would kill me. It damn near had once already.
I hadn’t missed, either, that last night I wasn’t the only one hiding from something.
Kit had been vulnerable too... and it was possible I’d taken advantage of whatever feelings he had left for me to get what I needed.
As mad as I still was about how he’d left and never looked back; I’d never intentionally hurt him. I’d rather die.
Guilt joined shame in a messy mix, and I sighed, scrubbing my free hand over my tired face. I wasn’t ready to face the morning, to drive out to Amherst to help Hazel with the hastily planned service.
Kit stirred, his lashes flickering before slowly drifting open to stare up at me. The unguarded affection in his gaze took my breath away. It made him look so much younger, being happy to see me in a way I’d missed for so long.
“’S too early to be that awake,” he slurred, playfully.
“Go back to sleep.” I tucked a strand of hair that had flopped over his forehead back out of his eyes. He really was beautiful enough to be part fae. Fairy tales claimed they were both clever and stunning.
Treacherous too. And Kit sure was dangerous when it came to my feelings.
He watched me in the dark for a few moments, then frowned. “Quit looking at me like that, Gus.”
My pulse skipped a beat. “Like what?”
“Like you’re thinking you shouldn’t have asked for what you did. Like we both don’t need it.”
Kit was a writer, a damn good one. He knew how to be precise with his words, even when he was barely awake. And he hadn’t said needed. If he wasn’t ready to stop yet, neither was I. “Need, huh?”
His hips pressed close, his hard cock grazing the side of my thigh. Arousal sizzled across my skin, and my own cock stiffened faster than the smirk twisting his lips. “You didn’t think I’d be done after one round, did you?”
“I don’t know,” I murmured, curling down for a kiss, stopping shy of his soft, brilliant mouth. “You seemed pretty lethargic after the first one.”
“We both know I've always been greedy when it comes to climaxes.” His tongue traced the sensitive seam of my parted lips. “And your mouth. And your attention.”
Pleasurable tingles followed everywhere his tongue darted, and when he pressed it inside, I sucked, mimicking exactly what I wanted to do to him. His muffled moan pulled a responding sound from me.
This time, I went slowly as I could, exploring all the ways he’d changed, and all the ways he was same as ever. Like how he lost it, writhing beneath me, as I gently sucked and licked just below the hinge of his jaw, his gasps and sighs fire in my blood.
He smelled different again, but so good, and I wanted the scent of me all over his skin, sinking in.
My heart jolted, jagged pieces still mangled even as it pounded faster.
I used to dream about a way for us to be together like this, to live in the same house and love each other and grow old.
But it had always been childish, so damn unrealistic.
I should have known better than to want a future with him so badly.
But when I had him in my mouth, sliding into my throat, when his spine arched and his thighs quaked, when he looked so fucking gorgeous as he stared down his body, watching my every movement like he couldn’t believe I was doing this to him, I didn’t know how to stop.
“Gus… Gus… just like…” His raw voice pitched high and choked off.
His orgasm broke over him like the morning sun cresting the harbour, brilliant and beautiful and lighting up everything it touched.
Warm salty fluid flooded my mouth and I swallowed reflexively, softly curling my tongue over the head as Kit shivered and tried to catch his breath.
He tasted so good my cock gave a hard sympathetic pulse.
Lying beside him again, my mind hazy with aroused pride, I kissed the tip of his cute nose, then each of his eyelids.
He rolled toward me, and we shifted together until I settled on my back with Kit’s head resting over my heart, his leg flung across my lap and an arm over my chest as he floated.
I’d done that, left him blissed out and boneless.
I locked my muscles down tight to keep from thrusting up against his creamy thigh and finishing, not ready for this illusion to be over yet.
The one where it was okay for us to forget the past like a riptide current between us.
Where he was my Kit Lovely again, for just a while.
And I had him right where I wished he really belonged.
“Give me a minute,” he said on a satisfied sigh, moving slightly so the exact thigh I was trying hard not to push into rubbed over my cock. “Then it's your turn.”
As I stroked his back and listened to his breaths calm, a warm blanket of satisfaction settled over me despite the fact I was hard and achy.
This part had been so rare when we were younger; the fear of getting caught meant we’d become experts at fast, silent orgasms, and then throwing our clothes back on.
I could count on one hand the times we’d had enough privacy to lie together like this.
To enjoy the elated buzz of being close.
Before long, Kit’s hand started wandering, caressing along my throat, down over the muscles of my chest and abdomen. My breath caught as he approached the base of my cock, but then he swept back up my torso.
“You're a tease, Lovely.”
His grin was full of mischief, reminding me of a thousand hasty challenges and bets. “Maybe. But last night was so… wow! It got me curious.”
“You’re—” My voice gave out as he rolled one pebbled nipple between his finger and thumb, sending hot tendrils of pleasure arcing to my balls. “Jesus, you’re always curious.”
Ducking his head, Kit kissed the spot under my ear, and my hips instinctively rolled up into the air, seeking friction where there wasn’t any. His wet bottom lip dragged over my earlobe as he played with my other nipple, prying a gutted moan from my throat.
Whispering into my ear, he said, “It's just that I noticed you really like it when I say naughty things to you or moan in your ear. I think that sort of stimulation gets you there, doesn’t it?”
“Maybe.” Too breathy. A dead giveaway.
Kit’s tongue traced the shell of my ear and I panted, going hot all over, muscles clenching as everything focused down to his words and the places he was touching me, the drag of his hand smoothing over my inner thighs.
His voice was all swagger when he spoke again, “So what I can’t stop thinking about is if we can repeat the phenomenon without touching your very, very hard cock. ”
My eyes squeezed shut as that image danced in my lust-clouded mind. I wanted it, wanted to see if I could too, even if some part of me tried to point out how embarrassing it might be. Maybe that was part of the draw.
I hadn’t forgotten how much fun fooling around with Kit was, not really, but it had been so long that time had dulled it down. I was almost giddy with it now, though, wanting to impress him just as much as I always had. I swallowed, wet my lips, and said, “I—maybe. We could… we could try.”
"Mmm. Do you know, you have such a pretty cock. It always felt so good in my hand. It used to drive me crazy when you got hard for me.” Kit’s breath was hot in my ear, his voice husky, and I squirmed as he touched every part of me he could reach except where I was most desperate.
Pleasure at his praise mixed with the erotic thrill of his words, making my breaths come faster and deeper.
His thumb pressed along the groove of my groin, and I wanted to beg for him to really touch me.
The scent of sex, Kit, and the lingering taste of him filled my senses.
My cock throbbed, leaking clear fluid onto my belly.
“But you were always so good,” he said, stopping to suck on my earlobe, to flick it with his wicked tongue.
“Even when you wanted to come so badly. I loved how you always had to make me come first. The way you loved to watch it happen. Did you like watching me last night? And this morning? Did it rev you up, Gus? Seeing how hot I was for you?”
“Kit,” I gasped, picturing it, picturing the way his face looked all those times—flushed and trusting and rapturous, like he was flying all because of me. Heat and tension gathered low in my belly, and he kissed me hard and deep, before moving back to whisper into my ear.
“Remember how you felt so deep inside me, gliding in and out, stretching me open so good, and rubbing so sweetly against the spot that made me pant and moan your name. So all I could think about was you and how, mmm, how amazing it felt to have you pushing into my body, and how I wanted you there forever.” Kit sounded every inch as aroused as I was, and that launched me higher fast. Waves of pleasure followed everywhere his hand trailed.
And then he pushed down firmly over my pelvis, his warm hand so close to the root of my cock, so close.
My body drew tight, and I could feel it gathering in the base of my spine, crest just out of reach.
I gasped and almost choked on my breath, and then held it. Straining for release.
Was this magic? It felt like magic. Like Kit’s very own, designed to drive me out of my mind for him, to push me to the brink and over.
“And you did so good, Gus. You always made me come so hard, all over you. I felt so good coming on you, didn’t I?
And now it's your turn to feel it, sweetheart.” My pulse stuttered, and I shuddered.
I wanted… wanted… “Feel it drawing up your balls, and throbbing in your cock. Just let it happen. I need to see you come for me. Can you do that? Let me see it, Gus. Just like this. You can do it. Show me.”
Fuck yes, I would. His teeth grazed my earlobe, the pressure of his hand on my pelvis increased the slightest bit, and I exploded in great shaking euphoric pulses, my vision hazing, vaguely aware I’d shouted Kit’s name.
When I could finally breathe and form thoughts, I noticed wet splotches under my chin and in the groove of my collarbones and couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled up.
Kit kissed me, messy and hot, and I melted into it, an intense aftershock of pleasure rocking me when I realized he was furiously stroking his hard cock, going for one more finish.
I moaned into the kiss, tugging on his damp, silky hair, fucking into his mouth with my tongue, and he made a wounded, wild sound.
Biting down on his lip, I sucked, and he gasped.
“Gus, I'm… I'm…”
“So damn good, that’s what you are, Lovely. Do it.”
His wide-eyed gaze met mine, the pinch between his brows so familiar.
He was going to go off any second. His body froze for half an instant before he climaxed, a gorgeous moan scraping its way out of him as warm release landed on my cooling skin, making even more of a mess of me.
Weightless, weak-limbed, I closed my eyes and just cherished Kit’s hot, gusting breaths against my neck as he sagged into me.
In a few minutes, I’d be crawling out of my skin to clean off, but for now, it was tangible proof of how perfect we could be together.
And I was still nowhere near ready to give up this feeling.