Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
Gus
ALL I WANTED WAS TO TAKE Kit home. The trickle of blood that had slowly trailed down his throat made my own throat burn. It was covered up with antiseptic cream and a band-aid now, but that didn’t stop me needing to touch him and reassure myself he was okay.
Twice was too damn many times to see a blade threaten the love of your life.
I couldn’t get away with that. We were at Mum’s regrouping with the rest of our little band. Agnes and Marion were ensconced on the love seat in the sitting room, quietly talking while Marion gripped Agnes’ hand tight, everything in Marion’s body language signalling reassurance.
At the kitchen table, Ted sat with Kit, Mary-Alice, and Meggie as they got to know one another, and I was standing with Mum by the stove as she heated a stew, determined to feed everyone.
She’d taken one look at my face when we walked in and nearly dissolved in tears.
When she’d laid eyes on Kit, Ted, and Mary-Alice a second later, the waterworks had kicked off for real.
“Did Russ tell you what he told me when he banged down my door to wake me up?” I asked her quietly.
“What did he tell you?” she asked as she stirred.
I was still hot and achy with betrayal, and telling her made it worse.
“He was on Whitman’s payroll. He was supposed to get me to quit digging into Ted’s disappearance while he tracked them down himself.
When I told him I knew Ted and Mary-Alice were safe, he realized the kind of spell I did to find them, and he figured it would’ve weakened the charm protecting them.
Turns out all he needed to crack the protection the rest of the way open was some direction from Whitman.
Apparently, the plan was that after Kit went missing, Russ was going to convince me he took off again so I wouldn’t dig deeper. ”
Mum’s knuckles went white on the wooden spoon’s handle, stricken. “How could he? Why would he?”
“He told himself he was looking out for me, I guess, but mostly it was because Anna’s sick.
Real sick. There’s a doctor in the states who might be able to help, but it’ll cost way more than Russ has in savings.
” I liked his daughter. She’d always been nice to me.
I’d gotten to know her over the years, she was smart and talkative, and I felt terrible that her condition was deteriorating so fast. “He could’ve asked me for help.
I don’t have enough either, but I would’ve done anything I could for them. ”
Mum shook her head, gaze speculative. “Russ would never ask for a handout, his pride couldn’t take it. I bet that’s why he couldn’t go through with it in the end. Kit’s important to you, and Russ is perceptive. He would’ve noticed.”
“Yeah,” I said, voice raw. I wished I could tell her how important. Russ had probably guessed.
“You know I love you both, don’t you?” she asked, suddenly anxious like she could read my thoughts.
“I’ve always known, August. And so has your brother.
Probably Ted too.” She laughed at my shocked expression and turned to hug me tight.
I clung to her as my face went hot and something sharp made breathing harder than it should be.
“It’s the way you look at him like he’s the sun after a hurricane.
Anyone who knows you, really knows you, is bound to notice Kit lights you up in a way no one else does.
And I don’t care what anyone has to say about it, there’s nothing wrong with either of you. ”
“Mum,” I tried to say, but I was dangerously close to crying.
If she wasn’t normally a crier, I was less of one.
Love for her filled my chest in an achy tenderness.
I’d been so afraid for so long that she’d reject me if she saw through to who I really was.
Instead, she still loved me the same. A weight I’d been carrying since I was fourteen slipped off my shoulders and left me shaky with how light I felt all of a sudden.
“It’s okay,” she whispered fiercely. “We’re all going to be okay. You hear that? I promise.”
Chuckling wetly as I stepped back, I wiped my eyes on my sleeve. “We still haven’t talked about him staying.”
She glanced over at Kit, who was watching Ted laugh at something Mary-Alice had said.
“Oh, he’s staying, all right. But you should talk to him anyway.
He made me promise not to tell you he called looking for you.
He wanted to protect you from feeling guilty if he died.
I’ve never heard a heart break as loud as when he thought he wouldn’t see you again. ”
Talk to him. My stomach went funny with nervous energy. Being happy he cared about me and hurting for how scared and lonely Kit had been was confusing the hell out of my body. Confused or not, though, she wasn't wrong about the talking.
“I’ll talk to him. The thing is...” I almost couldn’t say it out loud for fear that might make it not come true.
“Russ left me the business. He signed the paperwork before he headed to the border. I think he was hoping to outrun Whitman, since he already got the money. He didn’t leave any way to contact him, so he doesn’t know Whitman’s dead and there are too many cases for me to handle on my own.
So, I’m going to need a partner. I wouldn’t want Kit investigating people on his own, even if he’s done it for stories before.
” Maybe that was wrong of me, except I couldn’t shake the images from earlier.
I wouldn’t stop Kit if he wanted to come along with me or prevent him from investigating stories for the paper—if he decided to stay—but I couldn’t send him out without me.
“George, though? He could handle investigations. He’s got a good background for it.
” And it would get him out of a position with people who could turn on him if any of that evidence Whitman had threatened him with came to light.
It wouldn’t remove the risk entirely, but it would be one less target painted on his back.
Mum smiled. “I think it’s a good idea. George’s heart hasn’t been in it for a long time. I think he just doesn’t know what else to do. So, what’s the problem?”
“Even with George, I’ll be so busy. Out of town a lot.
What if Kit doesn’t think it’s worth it to only have me around some of the time?
Or what if our travel schedules don’t line up and we never see each other?
” It would almost be worse than never trying at all, to try and then have us both drift apart from each other.
She squeezed my arm. “I think this is a conversation to have with Kit. But Gus, if you both want it to, you’ll find a way to make it work.”
I wished I could have her sense of optimism.
Once the stew had been distributed and eaten, exhaustion set in; everyone looked beat. I glanced over at Kit and caught his eye. He clapped Ted on the shoulder as we all rose one by one.
“We’re going to call it a night,” Mary-Alice announced. She hugged Mum, and then after a moment’s hesitation, offered me a hug too. “Thank you.”
I cleared my throat and smiled awkwardly as she let me go. “You don’t have to thank me. I was just doing my job.”
She shook her head affectionately, and after a handshake from Ted and a polite nod from Meggie, they headed to the door.
Kit seemed to waffle, looking unsure of himself. I hated that insecure expression on him. He deserved to hear how I felt, and he deserved to make his decisions about the future fully informed, but the way his uncertainty made my heart spasm sealed the deal.
We’d all decided earlier that with the riots going on even wilder tonight, it would be too dangerous to get Marion and Agnes across the city to their hotel.
So, they were staying in my old room. Which meant Kit was either staying here on the sofa or at Ted’s in the room Lester Tomlin had died, or, I hoped, coming with me.
Mum shoved at my shoulder, a tiny grin creasing the corners of her mouth and lighting up her eyes. “Go on and sort this out, August. Then you can both help me wash the dishes.”
“Perfect timing,” Marion said, walking into the kitchen, dragging Agnes behind her. “We can help, it’s the least we can do in exchange for the lovely meal. Kit’s getting tired even if he won’t say as much.”
I found Kit in the sitting room, his eyes on a photo of all us kids with a poorly built snowman between us. My throat twinged the way it always did when I looked at photos of our family whole. John and Elsie beamed with joy in that photo, from the last winter we had all together.
“I miss them,” Kit said, softly touching the photo with his fingertips. My heart shattered a little more, like Kit voicing it let me feel my own emotions clearer.
“Me too,” I whispered, choked up. “John would’ve loved to see you again. He always thought you were the better big brother.”
Kit’s eyes went even sadder, and a bittersweet smile crossed his handsome face. “No way. He used to follow you around like a shadow. Remember when he went through that phase where he wore his hair just like yours?”
Picturing John the first time he’d tried it, with too much pomade in his hair, made me laugh. It felt good to think about the good times with him. I almost never let myself. “Yeah, but he always used to show off to make you laugh. It was one of his favourite things to do.”
Kit winked. “He was just taking after you there too.”
My face heated, and we got quiet.
“Kit, can we… would you come home with me? I want to talk. Really talk. Just the two of us.”
His smile tightened, probably as nervous as I was, but he nodded. “Let me say goodnight first. And then we’ll go.”