Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Kit
FATIGUE HIT ME HARD ON THE walk to Gus’ house.
The cool, misty night air didn’t do much to revive me either.
I wanted to slump sideways into the heat of Gus’ shoulder where it occasionally brushed mine, but there were too many people watching out their windows tonight, keeping an eye for trouble headed their way.
The distant sounds of sirens and ongoing chaos kept the darkness from being silent.
All I could think of was how close I’d come to never getting the chance to tell Gus I still loved him.
That I’d never really stopped. If it hadn’t been for Agnes’ quick instincts and her affinity for inventive magic, I might have ended the night with my throat cut clean through instead of just nicked.
When Gus rushed to catch me in Whitman’s study, his face had been anything but its customary neutral.
Terror and anger and longing had been etched into his expression, and whether it was my own ridiculous hopes or not, I’d have sworn he wanted to kiss me as soon as Whitman was down.
If there hadn’t been a roomful of people, he might have.
Maybe a kiss that never happened wasn’t a lot to go out on a limb for, but I’d taken bigger risks on less.
As we walked up the driveway to his house, my heart picked up speed, my palms sweating as I went over what I wanted to say once we were behind closed doors.
His hands shook a little as he slid the key into the lock, and somehow it helped to know he was anxious too. He held the door for me, and I let out a slow breath as I walked inside. I could do this. I could tell him.
But once the door was closed and locked behind us, Gus reached for my hand and his warm grip was so comforting and perfect I couldn’t get a word out. He flicked on the light, and his eyes were dark and serious and full of regret.
“I should have said last night I want you to stay,” he blurted out.
“When you said you were thinking about leaving again, I froze, and it hurt you. You deserved better from me, Kit. I wish I was better at admitting how I feel without turning it over on my own first because maybe then I’d have been with you when you got the call from Whitman.
You wouldn’t have gone there alone and afraid. ”
“Gus—”
He shook his head roughly. “No, listen. I hafta say this. You were the first and only person I’ve ever been in love with, Kit.
From the time I knew what it was, all the way to this second right here, but I let everything get in the way of us.
I took the choice away from you when I ended things, and I didn’t give you all the information to make your own decision this time either.
I hafta trust that you’ll choose what’s best for you, and I can’t let you walk out of my life again without telling you how damn much I love you, because I do.
” His words were coming faster now, almost tumbling over each other.
“More than I can explain, and Jesus, I want you in my life, I want to be with you. If that means I leave Halifax and follow you, I’ll do it, happily.
Because I need you. I love you and need you, and hell, I want you. For as long as we’ve got.”
My heart thrummed, pulse going wild. “I’m not going to make you leave your family or a job you were born to do.
Gus, I want to come home.” My voice broke on the last word.
It came out husky, with years of yearning behind it.
“I’ll travel if I need to, but I want to come home.
You were always the only one for me, August North.
Even when I swore I hated you, I couldn’t shake how much I missed you. ”
Gus crowded me against the wall, his fingertips caressing my cheeks as he gently held my face. “You sure?”
I reached up and slid my hand to the back of his neck, squeezing softly, needing to touch his warm bare skin. “I’m sure. I want everything with you, Gus. Forever.”
“You gonna tell me you love me too?” he asked, nudging my nose with his.
My whole body glowed, and I couldn’t have smiled harder if I tried. “I don’t know, are you going to kiss me?”
“Soon as you say it.”
I got as far as, “I love—” before his lips came down on mine. Wrapping my arms securely around his neck, I pulled him closer, molding our bodies together as our kiss deepened. My pulse took off even faster and my whole body tingled.
Gus pulled back far enough to breathe. “I want to take you to bed and touch you all over.”
Desire slammed into me, bonfire-at-the-height-of-summer hot. “Please.” I wouldn’t last long, not with how desperate I was, but I wanted Gus to make good on that promise, and I wanted it five minutes ago.
Gus kissed me again, hard and hot and needy, twice before he wrenched himself away and pulled me by the hand to the stairs. I followed, taking deep breaths to calm down, but the tight curve of his rounded backside as we climbed didn’t help.
He’d never liked to be fucked the way I did, and I didn’t mind at all, even if his ass could make an angel weep.
I liked it enough for the both of us. I’d forgotten how much, or maybe I’d buried it deep to dull the ache of missing him.
Either way, I remembered now and the need to feel him inside me again hit like a ton of bricks.
Gus sat on the bed and tugged me between his knees. His fingers reached for the buttons of my shirt, but he paused at the first one, his hands softly trembling, his wounded gaze intense on mine, eyes shining. “I was so scared earlier.”
My eyes stung. “Me too.”
“I could’ve lost you.”
His plaintive voice made my lungs seize. We’d come so close to never having this, and nothing I could say would make that untrue.
I ran my fingers softly through his hair, and his eyes drifted shut. “You didn’t, though.”
Gus shook his head slightly. “Don’t ever scare me like that again. I’m getting old and crotchety, I can’t take it.”
My lips quirked into a wry smile. “I’ll do my best not to attract the attention of any other vindictive, rich fairytale creatures.”
“Better not,” he muttered, refusing to admit I was a little funny.
His mouth formed a flat line I needed to kiss, and it didn’t take long to work us up again, stripping our clothes as we tasted and touched.
I climbed into Gus’ lap, his slacks still on, but undone, gorgeous cock jutting up from the open fly.
I moaned as he fell back onto the bed, pulling me with him.
The feel of him velvet hard against me made my stomach muscles jump, pleasure diffusing from my balls through my limbs in a warm, gentle need that left me shaken.
Gus squeezed my bare ass and I bucked forward, thrusting, seeking friction, and panting when I got it. “Can we—” Gus sucked the join of my neck and shoulder, and I shuddered in his arms. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” he mumbled, hot breath dancing over my damp skin. “Yeah, we can. Grab the Vaseline.”
I scrambled off him and dove for the bedside table’s drawer as he resettled fully on the bed, peeling the rest of his clothes off. This time when I crawled over him it was with intent, the jar cool in my hand. His gaze was molten with desire, so appreciative I felt it to my core.
I let out a sly smile as I scooped sticky-slick petroleum jelly out of the jar and spread it over his cock, taking the time to stroke and make him thrust into my grip.
“Fuck,” Gus hissed, teeth clenching.
“Feel good?”
“You know it does.”
“This will feel even better,” I promised as I lined myself up and slowly sank down on him. The sudden stretch burned, but I couldn’t get enough because it was Gus, back where he belonged. And he was mine. “Love you,” I huffed as I settled flush to his groin.
“Love you more, Lovely.” Gus laced our fingers together.
Moving faster and harder, he swelled up to meet me, steady and sure as the tide rolling in, rising high in the Bay of Fundy, and every bit as devastating.
Each touch of his hands and everywhere he pressed his mouth pried old shards of glass from my heart until it felt raw, but new, and like it was beating for nothing but love of August North.
And we lost ourselves to perfect pleasure, winding higher and brighter than the falling stars we’d seen from the same sleeping bag the first night we did this.
When we finally exploded together in sweet, aching ecstasy, relief and joy chased each other through my chest and flipped my stomach in a dizzy whirl until I was laughing, bright and happy.
With his sweat-damp forehead pressed against the side of my neck, Gus huffed a few chuckles too.
I held him tighter. Now that I knew where we stood, he was sure as heck never getting rid of me.
We had years to make up for, and I was eager to start.
Maybe I’d never learn to use my magic, maybe it wasn’t even possible, but I’d lived without it this long. And Gus and I? We were a kind of magic I needed so much more.
A yawn broke through my lazy grin, and I stretched on top of him.
He sucked in a gasp as I rolled off and tucked myself into his side, settling with my head on his shoulder and his arms around me.
We were a mess, and I wouldn’t have cared, but Gus would.
So, I kissed his neck then reached with my toes for the shirt that had ended up at the bottom corner of the bed.
I hooked it and kicked it up so I could wipe us off.
It wouldn’t satisfy him for long, but it would buy me a bit of time to cuddle.
“You’re awfully coordinated right now,” Gus mumbled, interrupted in the middle by his own yawn as I cleaned him up the best I could with dry cotton. “I’ll have to try harder next time.”
Nudging close to him, I tossed the shirt back on the floor. “That was amazing, but we can go again tomorrow, and you can try as hard as you want.”
“Yeah?”
“Sure. And the next day.”
“Forever,” Gus said, and it was a promise.
“Always.”