38. Jackson
38
JACKSON
A s I dragged on my clothes and raced to the door, my heart thundered against my chest.
That fucking arsehole.
I swear to God, if he’d laid a finger on the woman I loved, I’d fucking end him.
After slamming the door shut, I sprinted down my street. It would take at least ten minutes for me to get to her. If I could’ve, I would’ve got a taxi, but when I checked, the nearest one was fifteen minutes away and I couldn’t wait. I had to get to Jane. I needed to make sure she was safe.
I loved her so damn much it fucking hurt.
There were so many times this week that I’d wanted to tell her. I almost had a few days ago when we were on the beach, watching the sunset, drinking tea and eating her favourite biscuits.
Even though the conversation after Celeste caught us was difficult, the moments afterwards were so perfect. Her head was resting on my shoulder whilst we looked out to sea. I was about to say those three words, but then I stopped myself.
I knew that before I said them, I had to tell Jane everything. Then she could decide whether she still wanted to be with me or not.
When she said that she wouldn’t want anyone else to see my body, I felt sick. I hated the thought that she didn’t know what I did online.
Plus, if I told her I loved her first, maybe she’d feel guilty or compelled to stay with me and I didn’t want that.
No.
The right thing to do was lay my cards on the table, give her time to process, then take it from there.
I wondered how much her dad knew—and how he’d found out. We’d been pretty careful. Yeah, Celeste had seen us on the beach, but I doubted she had any links to this town or Jane’s parents, so it didn’t make sense.
How Jane’s arsehole dad found out was irrelevant right now. All I cared about was making sure Jane was okay.
One thing was crystal clear: she’d be staying with me from now on.
I was going to tell her about Mum and the videos now anyway, so all the barriers that had meant I had to keep Jane at arm’s length before would be gone. I’d finally be able to give Jane all of me. There’d be no more secrets.
I turned down the corner and saw Jane crouched on the pavement, leaning against a wall.
Using every last ounce of energy that I had, I sprinted over and scooped Jane up in my arms.
‘You came,’ she cried into my shoulder.
‘Of course I came.’ I held her tight and kissed the top of her head softly. ‘I’d run to Scotland to get you if you needed me. Might take a few days… okay, maybe weeks, but I’d still do it. I’d run anywhere to get you.’
For some reason, that made her cry harder.
‘Thank you,’ she sobbed.
I continued carrying her for a few streets, then when she felt better, she climbed down and walked beside me, her arm linked in mine.
When we got home, I led Jane to the sofa and sat her down.
‘I’ll make you some tea,’ I said, wrapping a blanket around her. ‘You’re freezing. I need to get you warmed up.’
Once the tea was made, I carried it in to her with a plate of biscuits.
After she’d finished, I took her hand.
‘So, are you ready to tell me what happened?’ I asked.
‘It was awful!’ Jane sobbed before telling me everything.
When she said that her dad had called her a whore, I wanted to race over there, kick down the door and knock him out. But Jane needed me. And when I heard what she’d said back to him, a grin erupted on my face.
‘Yes!’ I cheered. ‘That’s my lady! He deserved to be told to fuck off after what he said. I’m so proud of you!’ I pulled her into me, then squeezed her tight.
‘Thanks. It was a long time coming.’
‘Definitely. But you did it. The man needs to learn he can’t speak to people however he wants and get away with it. You can stay here for as long as you need, okay? I want to make sure you’re safe. ’
‘What about your mum? Won’t she mind? Where is your mum?’
My stomach clenched.
I took a deep breath.
It was time.
I had to tell Jane the truth.
‘She’s not here…’ My face turned to stone. ‘There’s something I need to tell you.’
‘Sounds serious.’ Jane’s face creased.
‘Yeah. It is…’
‘Oh, no!’ Her head dropped. ‘I’m really sorry, I know this sounds awful, but I can’t take any more bad news right now. Can it wait until later?’
‘I…’ I paused. I really needed to tell her. I’d already held back for too long. She deserved to know the truth. ‘I’d prefer to tell you tonight.’
‘ Please .’ She squeezed my hand. ‘If it’s something that’s super urgent or life threatening, then of course, I’ll listen. I want to be there for you. Like you’ve been for me. But if it can wait eight hours without making any difference, I’d really appreciate it if you told me later. Would that be okay?’
I thought about it. Technically it wouldn’t make a difference if I told her now or when we woke up. Obviously I wanted to get it off my chest. The sooner she knew everything, the better I’d feel. But this wasn’t about me. This was about Jane. And I could see that she was already broken. Telling her now would only make things worse.
She’d asked me to wait, so I would. Just until the morning.
‘Okay. ’
‘I’m really tired. Can we go to bed now?’
‘Sure.’ I nodded. ‘Whatever you need.’
And so I carried Jane upstairs, wondering if when I told her the truth, I’d ever get the chance to hold her in my arms again.