27. twenty seven
twenty seven
EZRA
I always despised these types of parties.
The kind that had alcohol involved. Liquor became my greatest enemy the moment that the person I loved most drew blood because of it. My father was gone, yet memories of his abuse flashed before me as I watched my colleagues sip from their cups.
When I hosted that party a few weeks ago, I regretted having agreed to come to another one, but it was Zack’s idea to help the company gain more traction after signing more movie deals.
Nevertheless, I attended this new celebration for Lysandra. Her friend, Camille, extended a personal invitation to me, Zack, and everyone else who was involved in the film. We couldn’t deny the request after they attended our event.
The music pulsed, glasses clinked, and guests laughed in unison.
People brushed shoulders with me as they made their way deeper into the rom.
Strangers wore their flashing smiles and glittering attire like armor.
Empty conversations took place around me.
Business handshakes, cameras flashing, and slurps of alcohol blurred past my peripheral vision.
There was not a single drop of warmth among them.
This was my life. How I wished to escape it.
My gaze traveled through the chandelier-lit room and found Lysandra.
She was the daylight in a place filled with darkness.
Lysandra was brilliant in my mind, despite the years that parted us.
The recollections I had of her remained a light bulb in the tenebrosity of my life.
Her laughter melted my heart, but my mind screamed when I saw a glass of liquor between her fingers.
My pulse calmed when I noticed that her drink had no lipstick stains lining the edge. After seeing the way she acted the last time we drank alcohol together, I was wary about being around her in that state.
It felt like torture not being able to have her in my arms.
I couldn’t switch lives with someone else, but I could search for a temporary haven away from the falseness of my world.
Many of them congratulated me, they complimented me on my supposed success, but they didn’t know the scars that I hid from the media. If I remained among the champagne chimes and the thumping music, I would lose my cool and my walls would break.
The nerves in my body made all the decisions for me as I found myself in a lift, pressing the highest button. Taking me to the roof of the building.
A dark mist inundated my vision, fogging my glasses, as I leaned against the stone railing of the rooftop.
The Scott Monument loomed in the evening skyline, the clouds surrounded it, and it seemed like a scene straight from a nightmare.
It appeared to almost reach the stars with its sharp features and crevices.
The statue almost got lost in the night, had it not been for the city lights.
I let out a breath, silver clouds appearing near my lips.
The world before me was grand and I found myself feeling small. So minuscule as I confronted the emotions that drowned me from within. How could I be capable of wounding the one person who healed me?
The coldness of the autumn air bit into my fingers, causing me to curl my hands into my pockets.
I remained there for a few more minutes, then I heard the click of the terrace door behind me. Footsteps approached me. They were familiar and hesitant.
I knew it was her beside me without having to glance. She reclined against the balcony, her gaze scanning the city before us.
“I’m sorry for the way I reacted a few weeks ago,” she said softly.
“Think nothing of it. It wasn’t my place,” I responded.
The lights illuminating the cobblestone streets shone even at a distance.
I turned toward her and watched her. Her lips were lifted pleasantly.
She took a deep breath in and out, the tension in her muscles easing.
A breeze swept her coiled strands over her shoulders.
I felt the intense need to twist my finger around her curls, touch her profile, and prove my admiration to her.
“This is better than the party downstairs,” she chuckled.
I couldn’t have agreed more.
“Why did you leave?” Lysandra questioned, her voice soft along with her eyes.
“I didn’t think anyone would notice,” I replied with a shrug.
“I did.”
My heart skipped a beat. What was she doing here? I didn’t blame her resentment, but I wasn’t in the right state of mind to take her contempt.
“I thought my existence was unbearable,” I said bitterly
“It wasn’t my intention for you think that,” she paused. “I’m sorry.”
“Your actions talk, Lysandra.” Although there’d been a hint of sarcasm laced in my voice, Lysandra beamed, tipping her head.
I could feel her easing back into comfort.
“What if I said that you’ve become… bearable? Just a bit, though, so don’t get too cocky.”
The switch in her demeanor caused a change in my own. She was teasing me, which meant it was a moment of relapse. Giving me an opportunity to show her just how much I longed for her.
“Is that so?” I smirked. I stood straight, sauntering toward her. She remained still, her gaze tempting me to pull her in.
“Yeah, you’re like a chair. I don’t hate you, I don’t like you, you’re just… there,” she argued. I was able to sense the doubt in her statement.
“I’d like to refute your claim.” I smirked.
“What’s your defense?” she snapped.
“I think you might be falling in love with me. Again.”
She let out a laugh—not in a mocking tone, but tired. “You are so far off.”
“How so? Explain,” I said, as she continued to chuckle.
“Because I doubt the existence of love. Which makes me incapable of it.”
I felt myself shatter when she said that. Did that mean that what we had wasn’t real? Was it all fake? I had no right to be upset anyway; I pushed those questions out of my mind. I couldn’t resist my curiosity about whether her fiancé was responsible for her harsh ideals.
“Why?”
“I used to believe that every human being on Earth had the birthright of experiencing love at least once in their existence,” she began, her eyes glistening under the moonlight. “But not me.”
Her last words trembled in her throat.
My hand found hers, and she jumped at the graze of our touch. I watched as she gulped, regret painting her features. Lysandra shut her eyes and breathed through her nose. “I should go.”
“No, wait—”
“It was nice talking to you.”
Lysandra rushed off the terrace and jumped behind the door. I watched silently as her figure disappeared down the stairwell that would lead her back to the celebration.
I stood there, alone, without her. Again.