29. Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Blaze
I scroll through all the undelivered texts I’ve sent to Addy, wishing I could show her that I’m the embarrassing one. She’s moving on in her bitterness, and I’ve been sending awkward apologies and heartfelt messages to her phone.
I read the most recent one from yesterday.
Me: I miss you.
And the one before it…
Me: I don’t regret kissing you because I’m in love with you.
The worst part is, I would’ve told her all of these things when I saw her today if she’d have let me get a word in edgewise, but she was already talking, worried about embarrassing herself. The only thing embarrassing is being unable to just spit out how much I love my best friend, and that I was terrified of what that meant.
But it’s clearly too late.
She blocked me out of her life .
I set my phone down on my kitchen counter as I head for the sink to wash my hands. I’m so ready for training camp to begin next month. I just want to give my mind something else to focus on. I know that won’t fix this, but it’s got to help.
My phone buzzes against the counter, and I go to it.
“An e-invite,” I say to myself as I read the link from an unknown number. I pick it up and click on it, seeing it’s for Addy’s thirtieth birthday party. “Why the heck would I be invited to this?”
I scroll through the dress code, theme, and information.
It’s so not Addy.
But then again, neither are the Gucci sneakers and designer clothes she was wearing today. I roll my lips together, about to hit the decline invitation, when my screen lights up with a phone call. My heart sinks at Addy’s mom’s name on the screen.
Why is she calling me?
I debate on ignoring it, but then my mind starts to race. She’s had my number since Addy and I were in college—in case of an emergency—and she’s never called me. Until now.
I quickly swipe the phone to answer and put it to my ear. “Hello?”
“Hey,” her mom says. “I wanted to call and make sure you were coming to Addy’s party. I know it’s weird of me to call, but … I think it’s important that you be there.”
“She doesn’t want me there,” I reason, my voice flat. “I think that was pretty evident with her blocking me and—”
“Stop it right there. My daughter is heartbroken, and she’s doing what she thinks she needs to in order to move on. Most of the time, I would agree with her blocking whoever she wanted because she’s my priority, but I can’t stand this.”
“I’m not sure I’m following…” I breathe out, rubbing my forehead. “If I show up, she’s going to be angry.”
“You have to man up, Blaze,” she snaps in a very motherly tone. “I’ve been watching this play out, and I realized that you maybe don’t have a parent to fall back on for advice.”
“Well, no, but … I’m not going to force Addy to talk to me.”
“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
“Yeah,” I answer, the word coming much easier than before. “I just didn’t know how to handle it, I guess. I’ve tried reaching out to her, but I couldn’t get ahold of her. And then when I saw her today, I couldn’t really get a word in…”
“So, come to her birthday party,” Addy’s mom reasons. “You tell my daughter to listen, and you tell her what you’re feeling. If you don’t, you will lose her. I don’t want you to lose her any more than I don’t want her to lose you.”
I swallow the knot in my throat. “Does this mean you don’t hate me?”
“Hate you? No, Blaze. I love you. You’re like the son I never had. But this isn’t about me.”
I take a deep breath, feeling a wave of emotions crash over me. “And what if she tells me no? What if she’s lost interest in me because of the time that’s passed? What if she hates me now?”
“Well.” She sighs. “Would that be any worse than what it is now?”
“I guess not…”
“Tell me, if you could only choose one person to spend the rest of your life with, who would it be, Blaze? When you’re old, and no longer able to get around easily, and you spend your days sitting in a rocking chair, who do you want to be by your side?”
“Addy,” I say without hesitation. “It’s always been Addy.”
“Then I think you know what you have to do.”
“It looks like I have to rent a tux.”
She bursts into laughter. “How about you actually buy one? Do you need some help? I can go with you. I know a wonderful tailor on the west side of town. He’s my go-to for every formal event. I’ll schedule you an appointment and meet you there. Okay?”
“Um, okay,” I say carefully. “But a tux isn’t really my style.”
“Yeah, I know, and this formal dress stuff isn’t Addy’s, either, but she seems determined to be everything she’s not, and now I regret ever hounding her to be anything other than herself. However , dress codes are dress codes, and I think you should match her level.”
“I can match her level .” I laugh. “Though I’m not sure if I can match her attitude. She’s got me on that one. I don’t think I could have that level of sass even if I took a class for it.”
“You’ve got me there. I’ll text you the appointment information. Aurora and I will be there to help you with the tux, but listen, it’s up to you to fix this with Addy. You deserve the world, and so does my daughter, but this one is up to you.”
“Got it.”
She hangs up.
I rake my hands over my face. I can’t believe Addy’s mother is meddling in this. I mean, it’s definitely like her to meddle, but I never expected her to be supportive of me .
But for some reason, that gives me a boost of confidence.
I’m going to sweep Addy right off her feet.
“How about this one?” The jeweler picks up a silver bracelet inlaid with diamonds. It’s sleek and expensive. But it’s nothing that Addy would wear.
Well, the Addy I know.
“I don’t think so,” I finally grunt, shaking my head. “She needs something more sentimental than that—and less shiny.”
“You really seem to know your lady.” The woman, a middle-aged redhead, tips her head back and laughs. “Normally, men just buy the first thing I hold out.”
“Yeah, well—” I blow out a nervous breath, already dressed in a tuxedo that’s far, far from my normal. “This is a massive apology gift. And a birthday gift.”
“Oh my,” the woman hums, her smile fading. “You’re one of those…”
“I don’t know what you mean by that,” I mumble, fighting the urge to rake my fingers through my freshly styled hair. “But if falling in love with your best friend and then denying it for way too long counts, then yeah, I am one of those .”
Her smile returns. “Oh, no, that’s not what I meant. This is a much better predicament. You mentioned it’s her birthday,” she continues. “What about we find something with her birthstone?”
I shrug. “Okay, I don’t know about stones… She’s not really—” My words fail as she pulls out a bracelet with alternating green and turquoise-colored stones. “We made this for a client who wanted August and December alternating birthstones.”
“December is my birthday,” I say blankly, as if the stars are aligning right here and now. What are the odds? “I’ll take that one.”
The woman holds it out to me. “It’s got a hefty price tag…”
“That’s fine.” I take it from her, imagining it against the pale skin of Addy’s wrist. The thought makes me smile—until I imagine her throwing it on the ground and stomping it to pieces.
Yeah, really, this night could go either way.
Ugh.
I keep a pleasant look plastered on my face and hand it back to the woman. “Yeah, I’ll take it.”
Honestly, this was a last-minute gift, but it wasn’t like I hadn’t already bought Addy a birthday present. There’s a brand new Kindle at my house, all wrapped and ready, but it didn’t feel like the right kind of present for tonight.
I want to give her something with a little wow factor.
“Well, the lady who gets this is a lucky one.” The jeweler beams as she rings it up, then places it in a fancy box. I mean, seriously, the box is nearly as delicate-looking as the bracelet.
Addy might hate it.
Once again, I battle the urge to rake my fingers through my hair. I feel so out of place right now, wearing a tuxedo that costs more than my mortgage payment and a pair of shoes that are so polished they might start a fire.
And now I’m buying a bracelet.
All because I need to tell Addy I love her.
After she blocked me.
I fish out my phone, thinking about that very fact, and then pull up our message thread as I hand over my debit card. I type out one last message to her.
Me: Happy Birthday, Addy. Miss you.
The jeweler hands me the bag and thanks me. I give her a nod and then head for the exit of the store, pausing at the door. A slight frown tugs at my lips. Addy’s birthday party starts in forty-five minutes. I’m going to see her, so why am I even considering sending a text that won’t go through?
Because it feels like the right thing to do.
I grit my teeth and then press send, already knowing the message will never be seen. I tap my foot, watching the word “delivered’ pop up on my screen…
“What in the world…” I mumble, shock flooding my system . I catch my breath.
She unblocked me.
Three dots pop up on the screen, and I wait for her reply, mentally begging her to invite me to her party. I don’t want to crash her thirtieth birthday party if she doesn’t want me there. I know what her mom said. I know what her sister said. They spent an hour blabbing about me surprising Addy while I got this suit tailored. I want nothing more than to sweep her off her feet. And that’s all fine and great…
But I want Addy to invite me.
Finally, a message comes through.
Addy: Thanks. Spending it old Hollywood style for my birthday party.
I stare at the message, trying to read through the lines. I immediately heart the text, giving myself a chance to think about what to say as I roll my lips together. I’m still standing inside the jewelry store, and these people probably think I’m going to return the bracelet or something.
Me: I hope you have a great time.
I hit send, then stare at how mundane the response is. Normally, I would’ve asked her if she needed saving—or something .
But I already told her I missed her, and she didn’t say it back.
She didn’t invite me there.
Maybe this is a bad idea.
She likes the text, and I shove my phone into my pocket, stepping out into the evening air. My nerves have my stomach churning, and my anxiety starts picturing all of the bad outcomes that could come from this. For all I know, Addy probably told her mom she didn’t want me there…
Maybe I should just go home.
I slide into my driver’s seat, setting the gift on the console. I start the engine and sit here, already knowing I’m going to be a few minutes late. My knee bounces nervously as I debate calling my friends for advice. I was so certain after talking to Addy’s mom that this was the right thing to do, but…
But now, it seems really terrifying.