Chapter lvi
lvi
WHEN I GOT BACK TO DAX’S APARTMENT THAT night, Aviva was gone, along with her cookies and her bottle of vodka. Dax looked entirely wrung out. As soon as I walked in the door with the milk, he wrapped his arms around me.
“Can we please go to sleep?” he said. “I’m three steps past exhausted.”
“Of course,” I said, kissing his shoulder, which was level with my lips.
We quickly got ready for bed and climbed underneath the covers. Dax laid his head on my chest, and I wrapped my arms around him.
“Was it good to see Aviva today?” I asked him, keeping my promise to myself that I wouldn’t speculate.
He was quiet for a moment. “Better to be with you,” he said. “I loved her for a long time, and I love her for being Zac’s mother, but there is still so much pain between us. So much guilt. So much that went wrong. It’s hard for that not to sneak into every conversation we have.”
“I know what you mean,” I said softly, thinking of Darren eight years ago, thinking of Darren now.
“Will you hold me until I fall asleep?” Dax asked.
“I will,” I said.
I held him the whole night long.