Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
Kylie
“I just–just…” Words failed her as she sobbed during the FaceTime with Wendy, who was drinking out of a tiny espresso cup and eating tiny pieces of cheese with hand gestures that looked so sophisticated.
Kylie, on the other hand, looked like snot had moved into her head and paid half the rent.
“He dumped you on Christmas? Dumped you and fired you? That jerk!”
“He's not a jerk. I'm the jerk!” Kylie grabbed a spoon, a new pint of ice cream, and gave up on all decorum.
“How are you the jerk, Kylie? He didn't even give you a chance to talk about it.”
“And I'm not even sure I'm dumped. We weren't technically together. We had one date.” The first scoop of ice cream was a pleasant torture that made her palate ache.
It was a pain she could define, so that was a step up.
“He invited you to spend Christmas with his family! You kissed repeatedly! You talked about having sex! He told you he loved you! Duh, Kylie. You were together.”
Were.
Oh, how final that single word sounded.
Were.
As if it would never happen again.
Which Luke had made abundantly clear.
“I know we were together,” she conceded.
“I know. I think my brain is just trying to untangle it all. I was so humiliated, I followed him back to the lodge, pretended I was sick, and left as fast as I could. How could life go from being wondrous and beautiful to destroying me in a single short conversation?”
“I think that's called adulthood,” Wendy said bitterly.
“I wish I could jump on a plane and hang out in Berlin with you!” A chunk of frozen peanut butter, shaped like a scythe, threatened to stab her. With the edge of the spoon, she broke it up and took a bite.
“You can! He just fired you. You have no job now.”
“THAT IS NOT HELPING, WENDY!”
“Just pointing out the obvious. Your lease runs out soon. You have no job. No romantic partner. You have a big interview in New York. You don't have to feel conflicted about that now.”
“I don't? What do you mean?”
“Luke just made it easy for you. He dumped you and fired you. You don't have to choose between two options. You only have one now.”
The sob began deep in her stunned heart, Wendy's simple, direct words shattering every organ inside her. Kylie went soft, crumpling into a ball on her couch, the sweet chocolate ice cream in her mouth turning to something sour.
The taste of failure.
“Um, sorry. Did I say the wrong thing?”
“No. You just said the truth.”
“It feels like I did something wrong.”
“You didn't. I'm just emotional.”
“Be your emotional self, Kylie. Go on ahead. I wish we could be together. You've really had the worst year.”
The worst year.
Until this moment, Kylie would have said that fifteen years ago was her worst year, but Wendy was right.
This was worse.
Way worse.
What started out as Perry's fault had somehow morphed into her fault.
Hers, and only hers.
Because if she'd just made the right choice...
But what was the right choice?
Luke?
New York?
“I don’t want to lose Harriet,” Kylie said, throat seizing with a sadness that ran through every cell in her body, bones heavier, muscles aching with grief.
Caring for children was always a calling for Kylie, and her relationship with Luke's daughter had been so sweet, separate yet intertwined with her growing connection to Luke.
Losing one meant losing the other, and while she pined for him, she was also devastated to realize she was done being Harriet's nanny.
Tomorrow, when she wasn't a mess and had a little more than a handful of hours of distance from the confrontation with Luke, she would text him and ask to see Harriet. Even an angry Luke would agree to that.
He put his daughter's emotional needs first, above all else.
That's why he'd fired her.
Plus, she still had two weeks of work left. Plenty of time to transition the little girl with as little pain as possible.
“What would you do, Wendy? I want to fix this.”
“You've asked me that a bazillion times. I refuse to answer.”
“I won't hold it against you if I take your advice.”
“I might not do the same thing you'd do, Kylie.”
“I hate this.”
“Hate...”
“Feeling paralyzed. Stupid. Like I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“You have two best things, Kylie. Most people never even get one. I think it's the choice that's driving you crazy. Not the options.” Wendy took a sip of her coffee. “Actually, scratch that. You don't have two choices now. You're down to one.”
One.
“Unless you think you can go back and try to mend things with Luke?”
“No matter what, I want to. What if it's too late, though? The way he looked at me–so full of pain.”
“I get it. Poor guy told you he loved you, and you didn't say it back.”
“I didn't realize he was saying it!”
“Maybe you should find him and say it back. Unless you don't love him.”
Love.
Love, so soon? It had been a month. Luke Luview was absolutely, positively not the kind of guy who lived life with his heart on his sleeve. Closed off and reserved, he was like that even as a teen. Pleasant and polite, sure.
Not an emotional kind of guy.
The part of himself he showed her over these last weeks, though, revealed a softer side. Deep caring was evident in the way he raised Harriet, but Kylie always knew there was more inside him, too.
Even at fifteen, she'd known.
Did she love him, now?
Yes.
Had she loved him all those years ago?
Yes.
Here she was, in love with him.
Again.
“I do.”
“You do.”
“I do.”
“I can't wait to hear you say those words to a minister when you two get married.”
“Hold on! Just a minute ago, you said he was out of my life and New York was my only option!”
“A minute ago, you hadn’t said you love him!”
Wendy's grin made Kylie shake her head. “This isn't funny.”
“I know. I'm sorry. Look, go to New York. Let Luke simmer down. See what happens with KidzdocTV. If they make you an offer, then...”
“Then what?”
“Then you have to choose between living your awesome future life in New York and telling Luke how you feel.”
“That's still a crappy set of options. Why can't I have both? Luke and the cool job?”
“Remember that pesky adulting thing? Yeah. That's why you can't have both.”
Melted chocolate ice cream pooled a bit in her pint. Kylie stopped talking for a bit, eating her way through until the pint was half empty. The sisters sat in companionate silence, thousands of miles and an ocean apart, until Wendy cleared her throat and said:
“I never liked Perry. Neither did Mom.”
“I know. You told me when he dumped me and you came to Maine.”
“I haven't met Luke, but–”
“You met him when we lived here.”
“I was eight, Kylie. Eight. Doesn't count. Can I finish?”
“Sure.”
“My point is, I can already tell he lights your inner world on fire, and not like Perry firebombed you and did an uncontrolled burn.
Luke is warm and steady, rock-solid and loyal.
He's also not hard to look at, has a ton of local friends, and is absolutely the perfect brother-in-law to call when you need help moving.”
“Brother-in-law?”
“I'm going to tell you my advice again: Go to New York. See what happens there. Then go back to Luview and do what you know you want Luke to do to you.”
“Do to me?”
“Yeah.” Wendy smirked. “Love you.”