Chapter Twenty-Three #2
“This isn’t the emotions talking, is it? This crazy situation?”
“Theo, I’m in fucking Greece because of you. And as you very well know, I had multiple opportunities to escape on my own. But I didn’t. Because I didn’t want to leave you. It’s not the situation for you, is it?”
“Daniela, I got a fucking tattoo of the last words you spoke to me.”
She smiled. “You never call me ‘Daniela.’ It feels weird.”
“Yeah, it did feel a little weird,” he said, laughing. “Why didn’t you ever tell me how you felt?”
“Well, I suppose it’s not the main reason, but in large part because you always had a Triple G waiting for you back in Chicago.”
It was a fair criticism.
“I’m not going to lie, Theo,” she continued, “sometimes it was hard being friends. I didn’t want to have feelings for you, because I thought it would fuck everything up.
And I really tried not to cross that line because you’re right—had you reciprocated that evening, I probably would have hated myself for coming on to you when you were unavailable. ”
“I know,” he said, hanging his head a bit. “You know, though, that Triple Gs were something my parents wanted.”
“And you happily obliged.”
“Happily? I wouldn’t say that. More like it was easy. It made my parents happy. Most of the time, my relationships were pretty mundane and drama-free. And not to shine the light away from my own unavailability, but you didn’t seem interested in guys like me, despite my one, single tattoo.”
She sighed. “I guess guys like that—reckless men—made me feel like I was still that rebellious teenager who did all the things we weren’t supposed to do.
It’s like I’ve been resisting becoming boring, which is pretty silly when I think about it because I actually like my life working as a librarian.
I like spending my weekends getting lost in books. ”
“You are anything but boring, Juicy,” he said, smiling and tucking a hair behind her ear.
“Really? Because I put my life on hold, Theo. All my plans, all my dreams to travel the world, everything got placed on the back burner after my dad’s accident, which I didn’t even need to do.
But I’d convinced myself that my parents needed me because I was too scared that I wouldn’t live up to the hype I’d built.
And then you were out there living your best life.
You got out. You’d moved on. I was…I was embarrassed that I never did.
So I guess that’s it. That’s the main reason I never told you how I felt.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, as much as I like the life I’ve made for myself in Grand Rapids, I still can’t shake those feelings of inadequacy. And who was I to suck you back?”
“Dani, I wanted to be there because you were there. And for what it’s worth, I think you have so much going for you.
Getting out doesn’t equal success and happiness.
You have so much more peace knowing who you are than I do living my parents’ vision for me.
The only time I truly feel content is when I’m with you. ”
“Then why didn’t you say anything?”
“For starters, Eddie.”
“Oh, fuck Eddie.”
“I’d rather not,” he said with a smile.
Dani punched him playfully in the arm. “Seriously. Eddie doesn’t get a say on who I date.”
“Well, in all fairness, it was a pact we made when we were seventeen. It’s been so long since we talked about it that I don’t even know what he’d think at this point.”
“You made a pact?!”
He nodded. “Yeah. That summer after Operation Juicy-Gate.”
Dani scrunched her face. “For real?”
Theo nodded. “He said he saw me checking out your ass.”
“I knew it!” She punched him again.
“Hey,” he said, smiling and holding his arm. “I mean, it was right there in front of my face. How was I supposed to avoid checking it out?”
“Did it turn you on?” She waggled her brow.
“I was a seventeen-year-old virgin. Everything turned me on. But I agreed to Eddie’s stupid pact.
To be totally honest, I didn’t think it would be an issue because I wasn’t into you.
Not like that. Not back then. You were my best friend’s little sister.
Not even my innate bodily functions could impact that. ”
“So when did it change?” She readjusted herself on the couch and brought her legs up to her chest, turning to the side to listen.
He turned to square up their shoulders, and he propped his arm on the back of the sofa, then rested his head in his hand.
Never in a million years did he picture having this conversation with her in a swank house in Greece.
He took a moment to take everything in, the surrealness of it all. Of finally telling Dani how he felt.
“The first time the thought crossed my mind, as in more than in a teenage-boner sort of way, was your prom. I didn’t understand how that guy stood you up.
You’re such an awesome chick. I hated seeing how hurt you were.
But I remember dancing with you and this thought popped into my mind: ‘I wonder if she’d feel better if I kissed her. ’ And it scared the shit out of me.”
“Scared you?”
“Yeah, because it was the first time I’d thought about doing anything like it. I wanted to kiss you. And once it had crossed my mind, it was like it opened the floodgates. I couldn’t stop thinking about kissing you. I couldn’t stop looking at you. I was sure you’d noticed over the years.”
“Well, did you happen to notice that I was always looking at you, too?”
“A few times. Though I thought it was simply bad timing on my part, that you’d caught me staring.”
She leaned forward and grabbed his arm. “I thought you caught me staring! Oh my God, like at your mom and dad’s anniversary party? I thought for sure you knew.”
“Oh, I knew,” he said, lifting his hand to her face and brushing her cheek. “When you know, you know, right?”
She put her hand on his and brought it to her mouth, kissing his palm before holding it in place against her face with her eyes closed.
He may not have been aware of how she’d felt at the time, but by then, at twenty-seven years old at his parents’ thirtieth wedding anniversary, he’d recognized that he was in love with Dani.
“So we knew we knew ten years ago, and now, here we are,” she said, opening her eyes and burying her face in his hand.
“Yeah.” He hated the pain that he felt for all those lost years, especially this last one. She was too far away. “Come here,” he said, pulling her across his lap so she was straddling him.
He stared up at her as she stared into his eyes, brushing his hair from his forehead and studying every feature of his face. She planted her soft lips upon him, so tender and caring.
“Do you think this will work? I’m not a Triple G,” she said.
“Sure you are. You’re a Good Guiterrez Girl,” he said, smiling.
“Uh-uh. I’m a muchacha mala, remember?”
He pulled her closer and whispered in her ear. “You were a good girl earlier.”
“You’re naughty,” she said, leaning back and waggling her brow. “But seriously, Theo. Your mom called me ‘reckless.’ Can this work?”
“I think we already know that it can. And you know my mom loves you. Even if you do get me into trouble sometimes,” he said, winking at her.
“Right, but I just want to remind you one more time of Giorgina, and Daphne, and Evangeline, and—”
He put his finger on her lips to stop her.
“Look, Juicy, we could talk about all the reasons it took this long for us to admit our feelings, or we can stop making excuses and allow ourselves to be with each other now. I’m done doing things because it’s what I think my parents want. I want this. I want you.”
“And I’m done being scared. As my dad would say, it’s time to get busy living my life. And I want to do it with you.”
He smiled and then kissed her again. He’d never get tired of kissing her.
“I can’t wait to get home so we can start living that life together,” he said, unable to stop smiling. “Too bad we can’t go back having made a really fucking awesome discovery, though. I would have loved to show my parents that it wasn’t for nothing. That I’m actually good at what I do.”
But instead of smiling back, Dani pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. She looked sheepish. Like she had some secret she’d been keeping.
“So, about that,” she said. “How badly do you really want to go home?”