Chapter 31 #2
She smirks. “I knew it,” she whispers to herself. “No worries, Nyk. I’ll do my best to stay out of trouble.”
And for the first time since seeing her today, she gives me a bright, genuine smile. Suddenly, even if I die, I know it’s going to be without regrets.
“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” I mutter, already regretting my decision.
“But it’s okay for you to get hurt?”
“I… I’m immortal!” I protest.
She narrows her eyes. “You’re not very good at being immortal, Nyk.”
“Maybe, but I’m learning,” I grumble.
She chuckles and splashes me with some water. Drops of it enter my eyes and momentarily blind me. She continues laughing, the most melodious sound I’ve ever heard in my life. As long as she never stops laughing, I don’t mind being the object of her amusement.
I do a poor attempt of splashing water toward her, mostly to join in on the action since I don’t want to hurt her or do something that might make her uncomfortable.
Pearls of laughter echo in the stillness of the night. My own ragged breath joins in as I evade her playful splashes and throw some of my own. The more this continues, the more my mind goes into overdrive.
She came after me. She followed me into the dangerous unknown.
She wouldn’t have done that for anyone, right? She must like me to some extent; have some feelings for me…right?
The mere fact that she braved hours of grueling travel to come after me makes it clear. She cares about me.
My face becomes so hot and red. I’m thankful for the steam wafting around and concealing my true state.
I gulp down as excitement runs through my veins. Not for the first time, my thoughts become a whirlpool of images; of sweet what-ifs.
Will she tell me how she feels at some point? With this trip ahead of us, potentially lasting for weeks, there will be plenty of opportunity for her to do so. Perhaps she’ll even allow me to kiss her—something I’ve been dreaming about every single night since the day I met her.
But then panic strikes. Saliva floods my mouth as I think of that moment arriving; of her finally being receptive to a kiss and me not having any idea about it.
What if she gives me the hints and I don’t understand them?
What if she tries to be suggestive with her language and I am as oblivious as she accuses me of being?
What if she expects me to make the first move but I won’t know when or how?
Oh by the Seven! Just thinking about the how makes me break out into a sweat.
No matter how much I dreamed about it, dreams and reality are different.
What if I fail? What if I do it; I kiss her and she hates it? What if I kiss her and she rebukes me?
“Moe!” I call out suddenly. To avoid any misunderstandings, I need to be firm and direct.
She suddenly stops. Her head is still the only thing visible above the water. Her hair is wet and slick on her back. Drops of water cling to her eyelashes and nose.
I’m momentarily struck by her beauty. But then I clear my throat and finally ask the question—more or less—that I need to know the answer to.
“What is the real reason why you followed me?”
Her brows furrow in confusion. “Huh?”
I feign a cough and clear my throat, then I raise my voice. “Why were you so worried about me?”
I nod to myself in satisfaction. That is a good question. The only way she can answer is by admitting she likes me, maybe that she’s in love with me.
By the Seven! It’s all I can do to calm my heart rhythm down as more images invade my mind. Since we’re in this hot spring, so close to each other, both of us unclothed… So many things could happen and—
“What do you mean why?” She asks with a frown. “Isn’t it obvious?”
“It’s not. That’s why I’m asking,” I reply, my voice firm—though inside I’m crumbling under this anxiety.
“You’re so strange, Nykander.” She chuckles.
I stare at her and I wait.
“You’re my friend! Of course I care about you.”
I blink. F-f-friend?
“Just your friend?”
“Of course, what else?” Her gaze turns worried as she looks at me.
My mouth hangs open just as disappointment slowly sinks in.
“Well, there is one more thing,” she adds after a moment’s thought.
My brows go up, eyes wide, ears perked. Here it is!
“You’re also my boss.” She smiles.
I close my eyes and let out a deep sigh. Perhaps my question wasn’t as direct as I thought—that is what I’m telling myself instead of admitting that she might just…see me as only a friend.
“We should go back to the tent,” I end up saying and turning my back to her so she can’t see the disappointment on my face. My lips tremble as they shift from the forced smile from before to a flat, hopeless line.
“I’ll get dressed. Thanks for turning!” Her voice is slightly distant as she wades to the other end of the spring. The water splashes around as she exits and I can hear the rustle of clothes as she dresses. When she’s done, she lets me know and I do the same while she keeps her back to me.
The journey back to the tent is silent, which I’m thankful for or I might have betrayed my feelings and that’s the last thing either of us needs right now.
When we reach the campsite, I offer her some more food before I go to the tent to set up another sleeping bag. “I only have one tent so we’ll have to make do.”
“It’s fine.” She shrugs. “You’re a good guy, Nyk.” She smiles brightly at me.
I force a smile. Right. I’m a good guy. If she only knew what goes on through this good guy’s mind…
I let out a long breath. If I thought living in the same house was torture before, I don’t think I truly knew the definition of it.
Now I’ll have to sleep, actually rest next to her and be considerate of her delicate sensibilities?
FUCK ME!
For her safety, and my sanity, I arrange a blanket between us inside the tent.
I close my eyes, thinking she’s going to do the same after such a busy day. But moments later and all I hear is shuffling around.
“Nyk?” Her voice rings out.
“Yes?”
“Tell me more about the mission?”
“You can’t sleep?”
“I’m curious,” she replies instead.
“It’s not exactly a mission, since no one is paying me for it. It’s more personal.”
“How so?”
She turns around and pats down the blanket so she can see me.
“You know I’m not that great at being an immortal,” I joke. “It’s mostly because my body cannot metabolize energy. My meridians are clogged so I cannot cultivate or even use basic runes.”
“So you need to unclog them.”
“Yes.” I nod. “The healer recommended me a potion that might help, but the ingredients are very rare. I managed to secure three out of five, but for the last two…” I take a deep breath.
“I need to find two mythical beasts that live in Horan Forest. Not only are the beasts themselves very difficult to find and subdue, but as I told you, people who go there end up missing.”
“So why risk it?”
“I could ask you the same, why risk coming with me.”
“I asked you first!” She hits me playfully on the shoulder.
“Because I’ve always wanted to cultivate. It’s been my dream since I was little. And because… My identity has always been defined by my lack of abilities. I’m curious to know who I would be with abilities.”
For some reason, I can’t bring myself to tell her that I’ll die if I don’t clear my meridians; or how my strange family dynamics prompted me to risk it all with this mission. Perhaps later.
“I’m curious too,” she whispers. At my surprised expression, she smiles. “I’m happy I can help you accomplish your dream, Nyk.”
“We’re still at the start…”
“We’ll do it. I know we will.” Her eyes are closed now, but her lips remain smiling. “Together we can do it—” she trails off as sleep claims her.
As tired as I am, I can’t sleep for a long time. My eyes are on her, watching her almost unblinking.
We will, I vow to myself.