Chapter 6 #3
Organization and timekeeping were hard, and no one could tell me otherwise.
Anyone to whom it came easily was a freak of nature and needed to be studied by the government as soon as possible.
Well, except for Marc, there wasn’t much to study in that regard.
Most of his life had been spent honing those exact skills, so there was no mystery where they had come from.
“It still amuses me when people learn that my partner, who maintains the guest and Guide side of things, who was coincidentally the first Guide this place ever had, came from a software engineer background,” Marc said with a chuckle as he carefully stabbed a piece of lettuce and the saddest shred of chicken I’d ever seen.
“Mostly because I think their idea of what a software engineer should look and act like is quite…different from you.”
“They expect me to be socially awkward and weird, which I am. I just pull both off in a way some people find endearing,” I said with a shrug. My phone buzzed again, and it was Angie’s message on the screen.
We’re already bug-fixing the update; don’t come crawling down here and getting underfoot. Eat.
I scowled, but I knew better than to argue. My team had been handpicked by me because of their skill and dedication, and personality. If my team was confident in what they were doing, and what I wanted, enough to give me shit and start without me…well, that was good.
And if not? Well, they would have to enjoy the consequence of working longer hours with me to fix whatever they screwed up.
Marc gave a heavy sigh and leaned back, staring at his screen, cupping the back of his head with two hands as he looked thoughtful.
His suit jacket was still on but unbuttoned, and I could see the way his shirt stretched over his chest. The space between two of the buttons was stretched enough that I could see the smallest patch of skin.
It was barely worth paying attention to, and yet I felt my face warm as I ducked my head to stare at my phone instead.
A few days was long enough for me to at least pretend to be normal around Marc, but it wasn’t enough for me to feel normal.
To his credit, Marc had kept his unspoken promise not to bring up the other morning again, and I was grateful.
That didn’t mean I was feeling any better about what had happened… what he’d seen.
I knew he was right; there was nothing shameful about something I’d been doing since I was a teenager.
It had been far too long since I had any relief; sometimes I forgot to take care of even that basic ‘need’ when I was busy.
And I really had forgotten he was there with me, if it was even possible to remember something that probably hadn’t made it out of my short-term memory because of the alcohol in my system.
That didn’t change the fact that he’d seen me jerking off. I didn’t want to think of how long he watched me before he’d reacted to what had undoubtedly been shock at what he witnessed. I was just glad he was the understanding type.
Still awkward as fuck, though.
“Are you going to do something with that phone or just stare at it?” I heard Marc ask, and I looked up in surprise before grimacing to see the amused look on his face. “Penny for your thoughts?”
“Even you don’t have enough money to make me share my thoughts,” I told him, and then regretted it when he looked even more amused and this time, knowing. “Don’t.”
He held up his hands. “I agreed to keep my silence unless certain requirements were met, which they haven’t…yet.”
I grumbled and stabbed at my food, chewing thoughtfully. “So, did Jude convince you?”
“He convinced his mother, if you can believe it,” Marc said with a disbelieving shake of his head. “Honestly, when you put that challenge to him, I didn’t believe he would actually succeed. Charlene is…well, stubborn is certainly an accurate, if somewhat lacking, way of describing her.”
I snorted. “He has two hard-headed people who don’t know how to take no for an answer when they have their hearts set on something. I’m really not surprised he found a way when there was none.”
“I feel like even you can’t decide if that’s a criticism or a compliment,” he said wryly. “You realize, of course, that means we have to follow through on our end of the bargain, right?”
“Yes,” I said with a sigh. “Thankfully, I had a little more faith in Jude’s abilities than you, which means we’re actually set up to have him here. With one last detail that I haven’t dealt with yet.”
“Checking to see if the men are okay with the arrangement,” Marc said slowly.
“I didn’t see the point; no need to make them worry when it wasn’t a concern yet,” I admitted with a shrug. “I’m of the mind that he shouldn’t be in any therapy sessions.”
“Agreed,” Marc said, and then thought about it. “Group ones, I see no point in denying him the chance to talk to a therapist in a one-on-one session.”
“Good point,” I said, and then raised a brow. “And considering how the hot springs are a bit of a meat market—”
Marc’s expression went blank before he gave a heavy sigh. “He’s eighteen. Legally an adult and nakedness is probably no stranger to him considering he goes to the gym regularly. And if not, well, he’s an adult.”
Being an adult in this facility also meant something else. “He would be unsupervised in most of the resort.”
Marc stared at me. “Are you trying to get me to address the possibility that my…that Jude might be propositioned for sex or participate in it?”
“I was trying to be tactful, but c’mon, we both know this place has a weird track record of bringing out the gay in people,” I said with a shrug. “And it’s not like I was going to ask about Jude’s sexuality. Like, I don’t know if he’s straight like his dad or what.”
A strange look came over his face. “Now, who said anything about my being straight?”
I stiffened in surprise. “I…fucking what?”
He sighed, dropping his hands to the desk.
“I’m aware of the possibility, Reggie. I’m also aware this isn’t just a chance for him to understand applied therapy and psychological treatment either.
I suspect this is more a chance for him to get away from his mother and experience a sense of freedom before he goes off to college and hopefully does good things with his real freedom. This is probably a test run.”
“Okay, we’re going to just skate right on by your mention of possibly not being straight, that’s cool,” I said blithely.
“I had a few…incidents, but nothing serious or long-term,” he said, waving it off like he hadn’t just dropped one hell of a bomb into my skull.
It wasn’t like he had just told me he was secretly gay and had been yearning for me for years or anything dramatic.
No, what he’d done was crack open a door I had sought to keep as closed as I could for a few years now.
To know he had been with men in the past, even if it was nothing serious, meant there was a chance, however small and out of my reach, for him to be willing to—
No, we weren’t going there. Well, we weren’t going there while I was sitting across the desk from him, where everything I felt and thought could be seen on my face.
It wasn’t as if I thought he could read my mind and know that I wondered if the accidental display I’d made of myself the other day had been a little less perverse for him and maybe… interesting.
Agh, no!
“Can you unbreak your mind for a moment?” Marc asked dryly. “Or should I leave you to your thoughts?”
“No thoughts,” I added quickly…too quickly.
He noticed, and his brow arched. “Maybe I’d be willing to throw out real money to get a peek into whatever thoughts are clearly bothering you right now.”
“Thank God money still can’t buy telepathy,” I muttered, fighting like hell to make my face not change color.
It was one of the few times I’d ever felt uncomfortable under his gaze.
It was as if he could peer into my thoughts, and while he couldn’t tell what I was thinking, he was certainly intrigued by what he saw.
Intrigued enough that he’d forgotten how uncomfortable he’d been talking about Jude.
As much as I hated to bring it back to that subject, it seemed the only way I was going to get some measure of peace.
“So…we’re just going to bring him here and not do any sort of monitoring,” I said, feeling a little guilty when he grimaced, but at least he looked away from me.
“There are some things I don’t wish to know about what Jude does or doesn’t do,” he said in a pained voice.
“I have to understand that even if he’s freshly an adult…
he’s still an adult. Hell, he’s been an adult since he was fourteen in some ways.
However, I don’t trust myself to maintain the sort of distance he rightfully deserves, but he’ll still need a connection point.
He was staring at me, and I realized. “I…now hold on a goddamn minute, are you asking me to be his babysitter? Marc!”
“Reggie—”
“No,” I said immediately, letting go of my fork and not caring that it clattered to the desk and left sauce behind it.
“You can’t say he needs to be here as an adult, but then assign him a babysitter.
And you definitely don’t assign me as a babysitter!
Not only because I should never be responsible for anyone other than myself, but…
damn it, Marc. I like that kid, and he likes me.
I know I’m not his parent, but he trusts me, and I’m not going to betray that trust by playing double agent with him. ”
“I know that.”
“No!” I repeated more firmly. “If you want to give him the chance to be here, then let him be here, as an actual adult. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Let him be here, or don’t, but don’t play the middle ground with him. He deserves better than that.”
“In that we agree,” he said quickly, and when he saw my mouth clamp shut in wide-eyed surprise, he snorted. “Am I allowed to speak now?”