Chapter 10
REGGIE
I should have seen it coming.
The signs were there, but I’d been distracted and, really, I knew all too well that sometimes we missed the most obvious things because we simply didn’t want to see them.
How easy it was to push away what we knew, to smother our suspicions, to ignore the signs, and continue in blissful ignorance.
Even when we know what we’re doing, even when we know we should be listening to our gut, we still ignore it.
So I did, and boy, was that an awkward mistake.
“I’m impressed,” I told Jude as I pulled on my pants and grabbed my shirt from the locker. “I thought you were going to avoid something like that for the rest of your life.”
“It was…a little weird,” he admitted with a shrug. “At first, but you were right, you get over it after a while.”
I could sympathize, even though it had been years since I could remember being self-conscious about being naked around other guys.
Then again, after high school and before I met Malcolm, there had been a wild few years, where plenty of people had seen my naked body.
Once you were exposed that often, and willingly at that, you got a little less fussy about being seen naked by relative strangers.
Yet, despite how nervous he had been, Jude had finally used the springs without a stitch of clothing on.
Which hadn’t been surprising, but I was surprised when he had done it after asking me to come with him.
Not that he’d announced that’s what he was doing.
I had figured as we undressed in the locker room he would yank on his bathing shorts and I would have to consider whether to do the same.
Except he’d stripped naked, wrapped himself in a towel, and gone to the showers.
After a moment of surprise, I followed suit.
The only part that had been difficult for me was figuring out if I should talk while our dicks were out or keep my silence.
That sort of thing would have probably made it more awkward, but ironically, being awkward about it was what made it weird for me.
Yet once he was in the springs, he had talked, and after thirty minutes, when we’d climbed out, he seemed back to his normal self.
“Well, I’m glad you did,” I told him as I pulled my shirt on and dug my shoes out. “I’m not going to stand here and say the springs have some weird, rejuvenation powers that only work when you’re nude, but there’s something nice doing it without clothes on.”
“It was…different,” he said as he wrangled his jeans on. “A little freeing. I think…once I realized no one else was paying attention to me, it got a lot easier.”
I chuckled. “You’re in good shape, kid. And you’re pretty handsome. I don’t think that if anyone around here was staring at you, it was because something was wrong with you. If they were staring, you might want to consider whether a trip to the clinic is in order.”
“Hilarious,” he said with a snort as we packed our bags. “So, when are we heading out?”
“In about an hour,” I told him as we walked out of the locker room into the hallway. “You’re all packed?”
“I am,” he said with a shrug. “Though, I mean, it’s a bit of hiking and camping in a tent with a few guys, I don’t really need to pack much.”
“That’s true,” I said, and then sighed. “You really know how to take the mystique out of things, don’t you?”
“I didn’t know there was supposed to be mystique,” he said with a snort.
I walked him to his room and stopped outside as he let us in. “Well, meet us at the courtyard in like twenty minutes. I have to go make sure your dad is ready.”
“Does he normally go on these?” Jude asked curiously.
“Pfft, he doesn’t think he’s better than anyone else and not participate,” I told him as I slung my bag over my shoulder.
It wasn’t a lie, but I didn’t want to tell him Marc had never gone on a camping trip with the group before.
That would give the game up that his dad was trying to spend some time with him, under the guise of going on one of the scheduled excursions with the rest of the resort.
“I didn’t think he…never mind,” he said with a shrug as he dropped his locker bag and stood there for a moment. “Twenty minutes?”
“Twenty minutes,” I reminded him. “And please tell me you wore those hiking boots we bought you at least a few times. You really don’t want to break them in out on the trail.”
“I did,” he assured me, and walked closer with an unreadable expression on his face. “I…before you go, I wanted to say thanks.”
“For what?” I asked. I really hoped this wasn’t about the springs because, as much as I’m sure he enjoyed it, it would feel weird to be thanked for that of all things.
“You know, trying to be there to help me, and keeping your distance too,” he said, coming to a stop before me. “I know my parents probably asked you to monitor me.”
“Well…it’s hard to get much past you,” I said with a shrug.
“I’m not going to apologize…but I will say they did ask, but I wanted to do it too.
At least this way, they can both say there was someone keeping an eye on you for their own nerves, but it meant you didn’t have one of your parents breathing down your neck.
I guess a weird uncle was better than a parent. ”
“I mean…I guess you could call yourself a weird uncle,” Jude said with a half-smile. “I never saw you that way, though, not really.”
That stung, probably more than it was supposed to, but I cocked my head. “Alright, what would you call me then?”
He stared at me for a moment, and then another moment, and then an even longer moment.
It wasn’t until he…twitched that I realized he hadn’t been staring at me exactly, but at my mouth.
The realization came too late, and as I realized that, like his father, he was taller than me; he was pressing his lips against mine.
Once, in my freshman year of college, I had woken up late for class with one hell of a hangover that left me not only aching deep in my skull, but disoriented and confused as I hurried across campus to make my first class of the day.
I wasn’t paying attention, and I had walked out onto the street.
A car’s tires screeched, and my head jerked up to see a car coming toward me.
If they hadn’t yanked their wheel to swerve around me with the most colorful string of curses rolling out of their open window, my shock-induced freeze would have got me killed.
That same rigidity came over me as I realized Jude was kissing me, that his lips were soft, warm, and insistent as they pressed against mine. That his hand rested on my shoulder and he was leaning closer, as if that might somehow bring me to life for the sake of the kiss.
I didn’t, though. There was no way for me to move, even as my brain desperately screamed and railed for me to do something; all I could do was stand there, one arm holding my bag over my shoulder, and the other slack at my side.
My heart thundered and my breathing had all but stopped, and I just… stood there.
And then Jude backed away, his face aflame as he took another hesitant step back.
He sucked in his lower lip and stared at the floor before glancing back up at me.
I knew he was waiting for me to say something, to do something that might…
what? Make it better? Or God, was he waiting for me to get over my shock and fling myself at him?
Jesus, I’d been sleeping with his father regularly for the past week, holy shit.
This was Jude!
“Okay,” I heard myself say, and thankfully, that was enough to break the spell that had come over me and I stared at him as my brain and mouth slowly clicked back together. “So…that happened.”
“And…you hated it,” Jude said, regret and shame thick in his voice.
Well, it certainly wouldn’t make my top ten favorite things that had happened in the past year, five years, ten years…
really, it wasn’t going to make any list of things I enjoyed.
Except I could see panic settling into the space next to his shame and guilt.
That was never a good combination, and I needed to think how to handle the situation as effectively as possible, and fast.
“It…wasn’t ideal,” I told him because no matter how I tried to handle it, I needed him to understand it wasn’t something I’d wanted.
“Fuck,” he breathed, wiping his face. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have done that. It wasn’t—”
“Jude,” I said softly, and I wanted to reach out, but I wasn’t sure touching him was the best choice given the circumstances.
“I’m not here to shame you for what you did.
Though as a helpful piece of advice, it’s usually best not to kiss someone unless they at least suspect it’s going to happen and consent.
On the other hand, there’s always a place for spontaneity. ”
“Yeah, but you—”
“Aren’t reciprocating,” I finished for him as gently as I could. “Where did that even come from?”
He squirmed, his hands wringing. “I…this was supposed to play out so differently.”
I made sure not to laugh, but it was a close thing. “Life has a tendency to do that, trust me on that.”
“I just,” he dropped his hands, almost flung them down. “I’ve had this major crush on you since I was like twelve.”
Okay, so that was also happening, twelve?
I mean, that was a perfectly reasonable age to have a crush, and hell, I’d had a crush of my own on my seventh-grade science teacher.
Then again, it wasn’t really my fault that he was stupidly handsome as far as my twelve-year-old eyes had been concerned, and it had been really weird to notice just how big his butt was in his khakis.