Chapter 10 #2
That was me at that age, and not me on the receiving end of a long-term crush.
It was a whole different experience to look at Jude and remember what he’d looked like at twelve, and to imagine he’d had a crush on me.
It was worse than the first time I realized that despite everything, my parents had been having sex even after they’d had me, even after my father was the bastard who liked to make his wife cry to feel big.
“Right,” I said slowly. “And what exactly made you…why did you think kissing me was the way to go?”
“I don’t know,” he said, hanging his head. “We’ve been spending all this time together. And I don’t know how you just keep getting better looking with age, but you get hotter every year, I swear.”
Ho, boy, right, stay steady, Reggie, stay steady.
“And then I saw you naked earlier and I just—”
Okay, so his view of our bonding session was a lot different from mine, so there was that to consider.
“And then…I just thought it was my chance, that maybe I could do something and maybe something would happen,” he said.
“I don’t think someone who’s freshly eighteen should start exploring their sexuality or trying to lose their virginity to someone who is over twice their age,” I told him slowly.
Then he glanced up at me, and I saw his cheeks color again, and I understood.
“Ah, okay. Not exploring when it’s already been explored, and the virginity is gone, got ya.
Still, probably shouldn’t consider trying to get with someone with this kind of age gap. It just—”
“Did you?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said, groaning inwardly. “He was twelve years older than me; thirty when I was eighteen. We had a whole thing for about a year and it was great sex, but it also fucked me up because he used my emotions. Used me. I wasn’t great with relationships, not until—”
“Uncle Malcolm,” he finished for me, and it stung. Not just because I could practically hear Malcolm’s laughter if he could see what had just happened, but because Malcolm got to be ‘uncle’ while I was the one he was trying to sleep with. What was my life?
“Yeah, until him, and trust me, it was rough for a while there. So don’t make the same mistakes.”
“You wouldn’t do that to me.”
“True,” I said, and then added, “But that doesn’t mean I want to be with you like that. I love you, Jude, but not like that. I care about you, but I don’t want to get naked with you. And for the record, I’m not mad. I’m just…you took me off guard is all.”
“Sorry about that,” he muttered. “I…about everything. Oh shit, you’re going to tell my dad. Who’s going to tell my mom.”
“I…am in no rush to tell him,” I said because holy shit, what was I supposed to say?
Just, “Hey, Marc, you know how we made out this morning, and I promised you something far sloppier before we headed out for the camping trip? Well, it seems your son decided to plant his lips on mine, yep, the same ones you’ve kissed and stuck your dick in, and I don’t know how to feel about that.
Anyway, how about a forget about everything fuck session and call it a day? ”
I think that would go over about as well as dropping a fox into a henhouse.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, and the smallness in his voice broke me for a moment, and I gave in, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder.
“I’m not mad, you’re not a bad person, you just…read the room wrong is all. Just so long as you understand that it’s never going to happen.”
He nodded jerkily. “And…we never talk about it?”
“Deal,” I told him, and somehow managed to shove everything aside to add brightly, “Now get your shit together, because Marc’s son or not, you’re going to get left behind if you’re not out there on time. We’d like to make camp before the sun sets, got it?”
“Bossy,” he said, but turned away as he spoke so he didn’t see the way I stiffened at the all too familiar tease that should never have come from his lips.
“You know it,” I said as I left the room, calling over my shoulder. “You’ve got twenty minutes!”
Which was about all the time I needed as I sped through the dormitory section toward the elevator.
I stopped long enough to slip into a bathroom, and although it would have been cruel to do it in front of Jude, I washed my mouth out.
It involved soap, and while I was careful not to drink it, I could still taste it before gargling and spitting it out.
There was no way in hell I was going to walk around the rest of the day without at least symbolically washing away what had just happened.
With that, I made it to the elevator, jamming my pass against the reader a little too aggressively and tapping my feet impatiently as I waited. I wasn’t ready to see Marc standing in the car when the doors slid open, but there he was, surprise on his face.
“Reggie? I was on my way,” he said, his bag at his feet.
“Nope, I promised you something,” I told him, pushing before I could think about what I was doing, making his back hit the back of the car and jamming the button to close the doors.
“I brought your bag too since you left it in my office,” he said cautiously, trying to figure out my mood as the doors finally closed. I waited until the elevator moved, and then jammed my pass against the reader and hit the stop button. That way the car would stop without setting off an emergency.
“What,” he began, but the first thing I did now the elevator was stuck was shove my mouth against his, sucking his bottom lip and making him grunt in surprise.
That didn’t stop him from reaching up and curling a hand around my back.
His fingers dug in while he held on, but he broke the kiss. “The camera—”
“Is the one part of the facility that’s never watched because the only people who go through it regularly are you and me,” I told him. “And that one doesn’t record. Now, are you going to accept the sloppiness I promised you, or do I have to beg?”
He blinked. “Why do I taste soap?”
“Rinsed my face, ended up with some in my mouth,” I told him, skirting the truth so hard I was surprised you couldn’t hear the squeal of mental tires as I Tokyo drifted right on past. “Now, are you interested or not?”
“Nothing like waiting until the last minute,” he said with a chuckle. “Was your time with Jude so engaging that you couldn’t make it back with time to spare?”
“There’s time,” I said, and frowned because the less we spoke about Jude, the better. “Plenty of…so?”
“You tell me,” he said, and he pushed my hand down over his cock, which wasn’t slightly at attention or perked up; it was full blown hard and pressing against the jeans he had changed into for the hike. “But it would be a really bad look if we were both late for the trip.”
“I think we’ll manage,” I said as I yanked open the button to his jeans and reached in to fish him out.
As often as I had told him, I didn’t think I had ever really got across to him how beautiful his dick was, mostly because I was sure that if I did, his ego might explode from being over-inflated.
Not that I minded if he got arrogant, because it really was worthy of praise.
It was hefty and long, but neither trait was in excess that you had to worry about what you were going to let him do to you.
I loved the way it felt in my hand, with the perfect amount of weight, and I definitely loved the feeling of it filling me up, ass or mouth.
I squatted, took him in my mouth, feeling his hands push into my hair while I started rooting through my bag until I found a smaller bag.
I let him grab my head and push forward, ignoring the protest from my throat as I felt him slide into it with a low groan.
I opened the smaller bag and found what I was looking for as he began to pump slowly.
Then he stopped when he saw what was in my hand. “Seriously?”
“Seriously,” I said as I stood up to kiss him again, desperate to add layers and layers of his kisses to my lips as I undid my pants and dropped them and my underwear to my ankles and opened the lube. “Fuck me like you mean it.”
“Two things, if I fuck you like I mean it, especially with minimal time for prep, I can’t see you getting through a whole hike comfortably,” he said and yet he wasn’t moving to stop me as I slathered a layer of lube over my hand and wrapped it around his cock.
“And do you really want to do all that walking with my load inside you?”
The practical answer was I absolutely did not want that because it could end up being messy.
Except the practical side of my head wasn’t in control, and instead another part was taking over.
That side said that if I had his load in me for hours, I could think about that rather than the lips of a well-intentioned eighteen-year-old pressed against mine.
“You mean,” I began as I closed the bottle and dropped it back in the bag, “is it a good idea for your load to be inside me while I walk around with the guys? With everyone unaware that you fucked me and left me marked from the inside? Do I think that’s a good idea?”
“Is it?” he asked, but his voice was hoarse, betraying the way my words had pierced through his logical thinking and reached the animalistic part that was desperate to do what I was describing.
“It wouldn’t be the first time one of us went about our normal job with the other’s load up their ass,” I reminded him as I turned around and tried to angle myself so he wouldn’t have to hunch down to fuck me.
It also drew his attention to my ass rather than to the logistical problems of my desperate, but hopefully just horny-looking behavior.
“Fuck,” he muttered in one of his rare moments, and his hands were on my hips, shifting me around until I felt the head of his dick pushing against me. “Don’t blame me if you end up sore.”