Chapter 3 The Positive Test #2
His second was that Evan had come to tell him they needed to stop pretending there was anything between them.
Neither possibility explained the strange heaviness that had settled in his chest.
"Send him in."
His assistant nodded and left.
Nathaniel closed the folder on his desk.
He suddenly had no interest in the development plans.
A few seconds later, the door opened.
Evan walked inside.
Nathaniel's eyes immediately went to his face.
He looked different.
Not dramatically, but enough that Nathaniel noticed. There was tension around his eyes, and his usual confidence seemed restrained by something heavier.
Nathaniel stood.
"Evan."
"Hi."
Nathaniel waited.
Evan closed the door behind him.
"I need to tell you something."
Nathaniel's instincts sharpened.
"Is your father all right?"
"Yes."
"Did something happen at work?"
"No."
"Then what is it?"
Evan took a breath.
Nathaniel watched him carefully.
For the first time since Evan had entered the room, Nathaniel noticed that his hands were trembling slightly.
He stepped away from his desk.
"Sit down."
"I'd rather stand."
"All right."
Nathaniel's voice softened.
"Tell me."
Evan looked directly at him.
"I'm pregnant."
The room became completely silent.
Nathaniel didn't immediately understand the words.
He heard them.
He knew what they meant.
But his mind refused to connect them to reality.
"What?"
"I'm pregnant."
Nathaniel stared at him.
Evan swallowed.
"The baby is yours."
Nathaniel felt as though someone had removed the floor beneath him.
He turned away.
His hand moved automatically to the edge of his desk, gripping it for support.
Pregnant.
Evan was pregnant.
His child.
The word child seemed to echo through his mind.
He closed his eyes.
He had spent weeks convincing himself that the kiss was a mistake.
Now there was no way to pretend the consequences had disappeared.
He looked back at Evan.
"When did you find out?"
"A few days ago."
"You've known for days?"
"I needed time to think."
Nathaniel nodded slowly.
That made sense.
He forced himself to breathe.
"Are you all right?"
Evan blinked.
"What?"
"Are you healthy?"
"I'm fine."
"Have you seen a doctor?"
"Not yet."
Nathaniel's concern immediately intensified.
"Then you need to make an appointment."
"I will."
"When?"
"I haven't decided."
"Evan."
"I'm going to."
Nathaniel realized his voice had become too commanding.
He stepped back.
"I'm sorry."
Evan studied him.
Nathaniel rubbed a hand over his face.
"I wasn't expecting this."
"Neither was I."
"I know."
Nathaniel looked toward the window.
His thoughts were moving too quickly.
A baby.
A pregnancy.
Evan.
Richard.
The age difference.
The kiss.
Everything he had tried to keep separated had suddenly collided.
He turned back.
"Does anyone else know?"
"No."
"Your father?"
"No."
Nathaniel nodded.
That was probably for the best, at least for the moment.
"Are you planning to tell him?"
"Eventually."
"Good."
Evan's expression tightened.
Nathaniel noticed.
"What?"
"You said that very quickly."
"What do you mean?"
"You sound like you've already started making decisions."
Nathaniel paused.
"I haven't."
"You just told me I need a doctor, that I should tell my father, and that everything is going to be fine."
"I didn't say everything would be fine."
"You didn't have to."
Evan's voice wasn't angry.
It was controlled.
That made Nathaniel listen more carefully.
Evan continued.
"I'm not here because I need you to fix this."
Nathaniel stared at him.
"I know."
"I'm serious."
"So am I."
Evan folded his arms.
"I don't need your money."
"I didn't offer it."
"You were about to."
Nathaniel couldn't deny it.
His first instinct had been to solve the problem. That was what he did whenever something went wrong. Identify the problem, determine the resources required, create a solution.
But Evan wasn't a problem.
The pregnancy wasn't a problem.
This was a life.
Nathaniel looked at him.
"I won't make decisions for you."
Evan's shoulders relaxed slightly.
"I need you to understand that."
"I do."
"I chose to tell you because you're the father."
Nathaniel nodded.
"And because you deserve to know."
Another nod.
"But I'm not asking you to marry me."
Nathaniel's chest tightened unexpectedly.
"I'm not asking you to move me into your house."
"I understand."
"I'm not asking you for money."
"I understand."
"And I'm not using the baby to force you into a relationship."
Nathaniel looked at him for a long moment.
"Do you think I believe that?"
"I don't know what you believe."
Nathaniel stepped closer.
"I believe you."
Evan's expression softened.
Nathaniel took another breath.
"I don't know what happens next."
"Neither do I."
"But I know one thing."
Evan waited.
"You aren't going through this alone."
Evan's eyes narrowed slightly.
"That's not the same as saying you'll control everything."
"No."
"Because I won't let you."
Nathaniel almost smiled.
"I know."
For the first time since Evan had entered the office, some of the tension eased.
Nathaniel looked at him again.
"How far along?"
"I'm not sure exactly."
"Then we'll find out."
"We?"
Nathaniel hesitated.
"If you want me there."
Evan studied him.
"I do."
The answer affected Nathaniel more than he expected.
He nodded.
"Then I'll be there."
Evan looked down briefly.
Nathaniel noticed his hand resting unconsciously over his lower abdomen.
There was no visible bump yet.
Nothing about Evan's appearance revealed the life growing inside him.
But Nathaniel knew it was there.
His child.
He struggled to understand how quickly everything had changed.
Only weeks ago, he had been telling himself that wanting Evan was dangerous.
Now Evan was standing in his office carrying his baby.
Nathaniel moved closer, then stopped himself before touching him.
He wasn't sure what Evan wanted.
Instead, he asked quietly, "Can I ask you something?"
"What?"
"Are you afraid?"
Evan's eyes met his.
"Yes."
Nathaniel nodded.
"So am I."
The admission seemed to surprise Evan.
Nathaniel continued.
"I'm afraid of what this will do to you. I'm afraid of what it will do to us. I'm afraid of what your father will think. I'm afraid of how people will react."
He paused.
"But none of that changes the fact that this is our child."
Evan's expression softened.
"Our child," he repeated.
Nathaniel nodded.
He hadn't expected those words to affect him so deeply.
"Our child."
Evan looked away.
"I don't know what I want yet."
"You don't have to."
"I don't know what you want either."
Nathaniel considered that.
"I want to support you."
"Because I'm pregnant?"
"No."
Evan looked at him again.
Nathaniel chose his words carefully.
"Because you're Evan."
The silence that followed was different from the silence they had shared before.
It wasn't charged with attraction.
It was something more vulnerable.
Evan finally nodded.
"Then we'll figure it out together."
Nathaniel felt something settle inside him.
Not certainty.
Not yet.
But responsibility without resentment.
Fear without retreat.
And something else he wasn't ready to name.
"I'll make the appointment with you," Nathaniel said.
Evan gave him a warning look.
"I can make my own appointment."
"I know."
"And I'll tell you when it is."
"I'll wait for you to tell me."
Evan seemed satisfied.
He turned toward the door.
Nathaniel watched him reach for the handle.
"Evan."
He stopped.
Nathaniel wasn't sure why he had called him back.
There were a hundred things he could say.
Instead, he settled on the simplest truth.
"Thank you for telling me."
Evan looked over his shoulder.
"I thought you should know."
"I should."
Evan opened the door.
Then he paused.
"Whatever happens next, Nathaniel, we're going to make the decisions together."
Nathaniel nodded.
"Together."
Evan left.
The door closed softly behind him.
Nathaniel remained standing in the middle of his office.
The room looked exactly as it had before Evan arrived.
The same desk.
The same files.
The same city beyond the windows.
Yet nothing was the same anymore.
Nathaniel placed both hands against the edge of his desk and lowered his head.
He had spent weeks trying to bury his feelings for Evan because he believed wanting him would create consequences neither of them could handle.
Now the consequences were real.
There was a child.
There was Evan.
There was the life neither of them had planned.
Nathaniel didn't know whether he was ready for any of it.
But one thing was already clear.
He wasn't going to run.
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