Chapter 4 The Impossible Secret
Nobody Can Know
Evan left Nathaniel's office with his mind moving faster than his feet.
The elevator doors closed, and he leaned back against the wall, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He had imagined telling Nathaniel dozens of times since seeing those two lines on the pregnancy test, but none of those imagined conversations had prepared him for the reality.
Nathaniel had been shocked.
That much was obvious.
But he hadn't been angry.
He hadn't accused Evan of trapping him, and he hadn't immediately turned the pregnancy into a business problem that could be solved with lawyers, money, or private arrangements.
Instead, Nathaniel had asked whether Evan was healthy.
That mattered.
More than Evan wanted to admit, it mattered.
When the elevator reached the lobby, Evan stepped outside and paused near the entrance. His phone vibrated in his pocket, but he ignored it. He needed a few minutes before returning to the rest of his life.
He had expected telling Nathaniel to make everything harder.
In some ways, it had.
But there was also relief in knowing the secret no longer belonged entirely to him.
Nathaniel knew.
The father of his baby knew.
That meant Evan could finally begin thinking about what came next.
His phone vibrated again.
This time, he looked.
A message from Nathaniel.
Can you meet me tomorrow evening? Somewhere private. We need to talk about what happens next.
Evan stared at the message.
He typed a response.
Yes.
Then, after a moment, he added:
But we're talking. We're not making decisions for each other.
Nathaniel's reply came quickly.
Agreed.
Evan smiled faintly.
The next evening, they met at a quiet private lounge attached to Nathaniel's office building. It was away from the public areas and nearly empty at that hour. Nathaniel had chosen the location carefully, and Evan appreciated the effort.
He arrived first.
When Nathaniel entered several minutes later, he was carrying two cups of tea.
Evan looked at them.
"You remembered what I drink."
Nathaniel handed him one.
"I remember more than you think."
The words echoed their first conversation.
Evan took the cup.
"Thank you."
Nathaniel sat across from him.
For several seconds, neither spoke.
Then Nathaniel said, "We need to discuss the pregnancy."
Evan nodded.
"I know."
"There are practical things we need to consider."
"I've already thought about some of them."
"Your medical care."
"I'm going to arrange an appointment."
"I can help."
"You can come with me."
Nathaniel looked relieved.
"All right."
Evan took a sip of tea.
"And?"
Nathaniel leaned back.
"The question of who knows."
Evan's expression tightened.
"My father."
"Yes."
"I'm not ready."
"I understand."
"He'll assume the worst."
"Probably."
Evan looked at him.
"That's a remarkably honest answer."
Nathaniel gave a faint smile.
"Richard has never been good at hiding what he thinks."
Evan lowered his eyes.
"My father loves me."
"I know."
"But he'll see you first."
Nathaniel understood immediately.
"He'll see me as the man who betrayed him."
Evan nodded.
"And he'll see the pregnancy as proof that everything happened because of you."
Nathaniel's jaw tightened.
"Even though that's not what happened."
"I know."
Evan looked down at his tea.
"But knowing that won't make the conversation easier."
Nathaniel remained quiet.
Evan appreciated that.
He didn't need another person telling him what his father would eventually understand. He needed someone willing to admit that some conversations would hurt no matter how carefully they were handled.
"There are other people too," Evan said.
Nathaniel nodded.
"My family."
"Your business associates."
"The press, if it gets out."
Evan frowned.
"The press?"
Nathaniel looked at him.
"I'm not trying to frighten you."
"But you think it could happen."
"My position makes privacy difficult."
Evan stared into his cup.
He had known Nathaniel was wealthy and influential.
He hadn't thought deeply about what that meant for him.
"If people find out I'm pregnant," Evan said slowly, "they'll ask who the father is."
"Yes."
"And if they find out it's you..."
"They'll ask why."
"And they'll ask about the age gap."
Nathaniel nodded.
"They'll ask about your father."
"Exactly."
Evan leaned back.
He suddenly felt tired.
He hadn't expected the pregnancy to become a public issue before it had even begun to feel real to him.
Nathaniel noticed his expression.
"We can protect your privacy."
Evan looked up.
"How?"
"By keeping the pregnancy private until you're ready."
"That's what I want."
Nathaniel nodded.
"No announcements. No unnecessary disclosures. I'll tell my staff that you're a private guest at my residence if anyone asks."
Evan's eyebrows rose.
"Your residence?"
"If necessary."
"You're assuming I'm going to move in."
"I'm not assuming."
"You offered it."
"Because it would give you more privacy."
Evan considered that.
His apartment was comfortable, but it wasn't particularly secure. Once the pregnancy became visible, he couldn't be certain who might recognize him or begin asking questions.
Still, accepting Nathaniel's protection felt dangerous in a different way.
He didn't want his entire life to become dependent on Nathaniel.
"I need to keep working," Evan said.
"I know."
"I need to maintain my own finances."
"I know."
"I need to make my own medical decisions."
"Of course."
"And I don't want you making arrangements without asking me first."
Nathaniel nodded.
"Agreed."
Evan watched him carefully.
"You really mean that?"
"Yes."
The answer came without hesitation.
That helped.
Evan took another sip of tea.
"I'll consider staying at your house temporarily."
Nathaniel looked surprised.
"All right."
"But only temporarily."
"Of course."
"And I don't want anyone treating me like a patient."
Nathaniel's mouth almost curved into a smile.
"I'll try."
"You'll do more than try."
"Fair enough."
Evan smiled.
For a moment, the conversation became easier.
Then Nathaniel's expression grew serious again.
"There is one other concern."
Evan waited.
"Richard."
Evan sighed.
"I know."
"If he finds out from someone else, he'll be hurt."
"I know."
"Would you rather tell him now?"
"No."
The answer came quickly.
Nathaniel didn't push.
"I need time," Evan said.
"I understand."
"I need to know what I'm going to say."
"You don't have to defend yourself."
"I know that."
"But?"
"But he's my father."
Evan looked toward the window.
"I've spent my entire life trying to prove that I'm capable of making my own decisions. If I tell him I'm pregnant and that you're the father, he'll think the entire thing proves I'm reckless."
Nathaniel was silent.
Evan continued.
"And if he learns about the relationship at the same time, he'll think you took advantage of me."
Nathaniel's face tightened.
"He can think whatever he wants about me."
"I know."
"But I won't let him turn this into something you're ashamed of."
Evan looked at him.
"That's why I need you to understand something."
Nathaniel waited.
"I'm willing to keep this private."
"All right."
"For now."
Nathaniel nodded.
"But I won't let privacy become hiding."
His voice was firmer now.
"I won't spend nine months disappearing from everyone's life because people might disapprove of us."
Nathaniel looked at him carefully.
"I agree."
"I mean it."
"I know."
"If my stomach starts showing, I'm not going to pretend I'm sick or hide inside the house."
"I wouldn't ask you to."
"If someone asks me, I don't want to lie forever."
"Then we won't."
Evan studied his face.
"You're really agreeing?"
Nathaniel leaned forward slightly.
"This is your pregnancy, Evan. Your body. Your life. I have no right to decide that you should hide because it makes my life easier."
The words surprised him.
They also made something in Evan's chest loosen.
"Thank you."
Nathaniel nodded.
"We'll keep the news private while you need time. When you're ready, we'll deal with everything else together."
"Together?"
"Together."
Evan looked down at his tea.
That word had become unexpectedly comforting.
He had been afraid that telling Nathaniel would mean surrendering control of his future.
Instead, Nathaniel seemed willing to give him more control than he had expected.
There was still fear.
There was still uncertainty.
There was still the enormous problem of Richard.
But for the first time since seeing those two lines, Evan felt as though he wasn't carrying the entire weight alone.
He looked up.
"One more thing."
Nathaniel waited.
"If we're keeping this secret, then we need to agree on why."
"To protect your privacy."
"Exactly."
"Not to protect my reputation."
Evan smiled faintly.
"Good."
Nathaniel returned the smile.
"Agreed."
Evan finished his tea.
They had no idea how long their secret would remain theirs.
Weeks, perhaps.
Maybe months.
Eventually, the pregnancy would become impossible to conceal.
Eventually, his father would know.
Eventually, everyone would know about Nathaniel.
But not tonight.
Tonight, Evan had one thing he needed to hold onto.
The knowledge that his pregnancy was his life, his decision, and his future.
He would accept Nathaniel's support.
He would allow Nathaniel to be the father.
But he would never allow himself to become a secret simply because their relationship made other people uncomfortable.
Nathaniel seemed to understand that now.
And for the first time, Evan believed they might actually be able to face whatever came next together.
The First Appointment
Nathaniel arrived ten minutes early.
He told himself it was because he preferred punctuality. The truth was that he had spent most of the previous night thinking about the appointment and had barely slept.
The pregnancy had existed in his mind as a fact since Evan had told him, but facts could remain strangely abstract when they had no physical evidence attached to them. Nathaniel knew there was a child growing inside Evan, yet he had not seen a scan, heard a heartbeat, or spoken to a doctor.
Today, that would change.