Chapter Thirteen
~ Jackson ~
"How is he?"
"How the hell do you think he is?" Miles snapped, a good deal of irritation in his voice. "You abandoned him after promising to be his master. He doesn't do anything except sit in a chair and stare out the window."
"Should I talk to him?"
Maybe that would help?
"What would be the point?" Miles snorted. "He hasn't said a word since the day you left."
"Bloody hell, Miles, that was three weeks ago. He hasn't said anything since then?"
"Not a fucking word. No, let me rephrase that. His last words were, and I quote, I don't have a master anymore . He said that right after he read that stupid letter you wrote and he hasn't said a word since."
I rubbed one hand down my face while holding my cell phone to my ear with the other. I had known that my leaving would have some effect on Daniel, but I hadn't expected it to be to this point.
"What do you want me to say, Miles?"
"Do you remember me telling you that you can't half-ass this, Jack? That if you decided to accept Daniel, you'd have to keep him? I told you that if you gave up after a couple of weeks it would destroy him, but you promised me that you wanted to keep him. You broke that promise, Jack, and now Daniel is paying the price. You'd better hope this doesn't kill him or our friendship is over."
My eyes widened when Miles abruptly hung up.
How had I become the bad guy in this? I was trying to do right by Daniel by leaving him alone. He certainly didn't need me hanging around him, lusting after him day in and day out.
I still cringed when I thought about what I'd done to Daniel. After everything he'd been through, he didn't deserve that. If he wanted to press charges against me for sexual assault, I wouldn't blame him in the least.
Yes, Daniel had actively participated, but he thought of me as his master. Would he really have refused me?
The flip side of this was that I dreamed about what had happened between us every single night. The cringing part of me warred with the part that wanted to do it again.
God, I was a sick bastard.
I sighed as I dialed Jake.
"What do you want?" he snapped in a hostile tone.
"Let me guess," I replied. "You've been talking with Miles."
"I have."
Fucking peachy.
"Jake—"
"Don't worry, Jack. Miles is already looking for a new master for Daniel, one that won't abandon him when things get rough. He's even drafting divorce papers for you. In a couple of weeks, this will all be over and you can forget you ever even met Daniel. Won't you be happy?"
"Why are you all snapping at me," I shouted when my anger and regret collided. "Do you think I wanted to leave because I didn't, but I couldn't do that to Daniel again? He deserves better."
The silence surprised me.
Maybe Jake had hung up.
"Jake?" I asked tentatively. "Are you still there?"
"What exactly is it that you think you've done, Jack?"
My head fell back against my chair as I groaned. I had told Miles that a situation had developed between me and Daniel that prevented me from being his master, but I hadn't gone into a lot of detail.
I didn't want to go into detail now, but I doubted Jake was going to let me off the hook because I was ashamed of my actions.
"I slept with Daniel." Crude, but accurate. "I slept with him and every time I see him I want to sleep with him again."
"And the problem with this is what?"
"There's a file in the middle drawer of my desk. In it are two computer discs. Check them both out and then call me back."
I hung up before Jake could say another word and turned to my laptop to book a flight back to the United States. Even if I couldn't be with Daniel, I could be there to make sure he was taken care of. I owed him at least that much.
After booking the quickest flight back I could manage, I ordered Edward to cancel all my appointments for the foreseeable future and then left the office so I could go home and pack.
I wasn't sure what I was going to find when I got back to New York City, but I was pretty sure it was going to be a firing squad. Both Miles and Jake sounded pissed at me and they had a right to be. I'd fucked up in a major way.
I was in the middle of throwing clothes into my suitcase when my cell phone rang. I glanced at the screen and then swiftly swiped my thumb over it to answer it.
"Did you read the file?"
"Christ, Jack," Jake asked, "how is Daniel not in the looney bin?"
"I wondered that myself, but I don't have an answer for you."
"Do you know what happened to the people that did this to Daniel?"
I grabbed another suit and folded it before placing it in my suitcase before heading back to the closet for another one. "Daniel told me that my father found them all and sent them to prison. One of them was a doctor that liked to use Daniel to practice on. That's why he's afraid of doctors."
"Uh...That might be a problem."
I stilled, my eyebrows snapping together. "Why?"
"Daniel won't eat so we had to get Patty to give him intravenous feedings."
I closed my eyes for a moment, the weight of what I had done weighing on me so heavily, my knees almost buckled. "I'll be there in the morning," I stated as I opened my eyes again.
"Can I give these medical records to Patty?" Jake asked.
"Yes," I replied. "I'd have you ask for Daniel's permission first, but Miles told me he isn't talking."
"No, not even Sam can get him to talk. We've tried everything, but he just sits there and stares out the window."
My chest heaved as I sighed. "Maybe I can get him to talk."
It was a hope anyway.
"Are you sure coming back here and facing Daniel again is a good idea?"
"No, but I can't think of anything else to do. Daniel is basically catatonic right now because of what I did. I have to fix that."
"After looking at these medical records, I'm not sure you had that much to do with it, Jack. Yes, you probably lit the fire, but the firewood was supplied by a lot of other people."
"Well, I've got to do something. I can't let Daniel continue to live like that. According to you and Miles he is just existing at this point. How is that good for him?"
"It's not, but having you in front of him might be even worse."
I winced at the hurt those words caused.
"Knowing his history, you promised to be his master, married him, slept with him, and then you abandoned him without even talking to him. Even if he wasn't a sub that would fuck him up. That would fuck anyone up."
Yeah, I was a bastard. I knew it, Jake knew it, Miles knew it, and Daniel certainly knew it. Everyone knew it, but that didn't mean I hadn't had my reasons for what I had done.
"It's because of what he went through that I left, Jake. I'll admit I'd had a few that night, especially after going through his medical records. I went to check on him and he turned and smiled at me, called me sir, and that was it. I was done. Nothing on earth could have kept me from having him that night, but I don't want to put him through that again and I'm afraid if I continue as his master, it will."
"Have you asked him what he wants?"
"He a sub, Jake. Do you honestly think he'd tell me the truth?"
"Yes," Jake replied without hesitation.
I was surprised by that. "Why?"
"Daniel is a sub, but he's very deep in the life. We both know this."
"Yeah, that's true," I agreed, "but—"
"One of the first things you told him was that he had to be honest with you at all times. Remember? You told him his safe word and total honesty were the two most important rules he had to follow. Knowing that, do you really think he'd lie to you?"
Maybe not.
"Look, you need to decide one way or another if you're keeping Daniel. If not, then cut him free. Miles is already looking into a new master for him."
"What?" I shouted as an unfamiliar rage rolled through me. "He can't do that."
"You didn't want him, Jackson. Remember?"
"I never said that!" I insisted.
"Uh, yeah, you kind of did when you abandoned him."
"I told you why I left."
"Yes, you did, and I understand why you did, but that doesn't change the fact that Daniel needs a master. If you're not going to step up and take the position, we're going to find someone who will."
I growled and threw my phone across the room when Jake hung up on me. I didn't even care that it shattered against the wall, although I probably would later.
How dare they think they can replace me and give Daniel a new master. The mere thought of someone touching him in the way I had made me see red.
I stormed over to the nightstand and picked up my landline, dialing Miles's phone number. I ground my teeth together when it went to voicemail.
"Miles, I forbid you from finding Daniel another master," I bit out. "Daniel is still my legal husband. You have no right to make decisions for him."
As soon as I hung up with Miles, I called my assistant's phone number. "Edward, get me a new cell phone. I need it before my flight overseas."
"Yes, sir."
"Give me a couple of days to get everything settled in the states and then I'll call you and let you know if I need you to join me or if I'll be flying back. Just clear my schedule until then."
"Of course, sir."
I hung up and walked back over to my closet to finish packing. I wanted to be ready to go as soon as my flight time arrived. The faster I got back to the states, the faster I could take Daniel away from Jake and Miles.
I didn't know what was up with them. I felt as if they were fighting against me instead of trying to help me. Had I fucked up that badly?
I knew the answer to that even as I thought those words. I had fucked up that badly and I needed to fix it before Daniel was lost forever.