27
Elvira
THINGS NEVER GOT BACK on track after we came back from Milan.
Our relationship was different, and Levi was colder than usual.
He didn't speak to me on the day of the wedding except to be cordial in front of everyone else or as part of a broader conversation with other people.
I was glad to be with the ever so friendly girl group Thalia, Aire and Ivy or I would have been miserable.
On the flight back, Levi kept to himself while I surreptitiously eyed him, wondering if I should confront him or not.
It felt futile to do so. And besides, wasn't he in the wrong?
If anyone should feel guilty, it was Levi.
And the fact that our distance did not bother him was only proof of his stubbornness.
The minute I landed on home soil, I got a call from Grant, my landlord, telling me the house was ready for reoccupation.
I could not be more glad to hear the news.
As much as I hated that tiny hovel, at that moment it truly felt like a sanctuary.
When I got back, I packed my bags and took them to my house.
Levi was not there when I moved my stuff back.
He had been called to the MMQ Society for a meeting.
And when he came back and saw the lack of items that Elvira written on them, and asked,"Did you move back to your old place?" I expected him to say more. React more strongly to my move. But his blank expression said he didn't care that much what I did.
"Grant has finished renovations."
"I don't think you can do that," he said.
My heart leaped with hope.
"We're still married, remember? If you don't want to sleep in the same bed as me, you can move into the guest bedroom. And if you still want the place to be yours, I will pay the rent on your behalf. I am your husband, after all."
"Levi…"
But Levi was gone. He went into his study, leaving me alone in the living room, staring back at the bookshelf.
I went back to my place again and took some of my essential things and put them in the guest room.
I didn't talk to Levi for the rest of the day.
I slept in my bedroom, and he did not bother coming.
I wanted him to. I almost went to his and begged him to sleep in his bed, but something stopped me at the last moment.
Pride? Dignity? Shyness? I don't know. But when I slept, all I dreamed of was him.
Levi was busy in the first days after we got back and worked late into the night.
Mostly alone. He was no longer seeking my help, which gave me time to work on my PhD.
It meant long days in the library. Researching old medieval texts that, at times, were hard to read because of their age and wear and tear.
I would see Levi in the library sometimes.
He would always stick to his desk whenever he saw me.
We were back to acting like strangers again.
And Levi was back to being aloof. We rarely spoke at home, and if we did, it was about mundane things like, 'Where did you put the coffee,' or 'Pass me the ketchup.
' And that's if we ate together. Sometimes he ate alone. And we still weren't sleeping together.
I had almost gotten used to the gaping hole that was in our relationship now.
Oddly, it made work easier. It helped me concentrate.
And I was sure we were fooling people into thinking our relationship was fine, but Jess had noticed that something was off.
We were in the break room when she asked what was going on between me and Levi.
"What do you mean?" I tried to be evasive, but Jess was too smart to take my deflection seriously.
"You two no longer act you know," she lowered her voice. There were a lot more people than usual in there, "like you are fucking."
"Jess!" I dropped the tea bag I had been dunking in my cup to face her.
Jess raised her hands in mock surrender. "I just call it like I see it. You two used to be all over each other and now…"
"We were?" Was I slobbering over Levi so obviously in public as Jess was suggesting?
"Well, you did keep it professional, but someone with a keen eye like me notices such things."
"Fuck. I wonder what Thompson and the rest of the faculty must think of me."
"That you are a married couple? Which you're no longer acting like?" She turned serious. "What's going on?"
I didn't know how to explain it to her. We had drifted apart?
I got jealous? I felt insecure about my place in his life?
I was developing feelings? All were true, but none felt like a sufficient explanation.
And before I could attempt one, I felt a presence next to me.
A familiar scent filtering my nostrils that made me both angry and sad.
"Hey Wyatt," Jess said as Wyatt reached for the kettle of hot water.
Wyatt ignored her and flashed an insincere smile at me. "Trouble in paradise?"
I rolled my eyes. Of course, he was eavesdropping on us. Couldn't he mind his own business and leave me alone?
"My marriage is fine. Thank you for asking." I didn't want to spend any more time in his presence, so I picked up my mug and nudged Jess to leave, but she remained rooted in her spot, glaring at Wyatt.
"You're one to talk, cheater," she said.
Wyatt scoffed. "So I was right. But of course there never was a paradise, was there? It was all a scam for Levi to get access to his trust fund."
I balled my fists, my vision turning red at the sound of his sickening voice. I don't know how I was ever attracted to him. He was not the sophisticated man I thought him to be. Wyatt was a petty little bitch who couldn't handle I left him even though he was cheating on me.
"Fuck you, Wyatt," Jess said.
"Let's go," I whispered to Jess.
"Why?" Wyatt said, chuckling, stirring the globs of sugar he had just poured into his tea. "You no longer want to hang out with me?"
"That is not what we were doing," I said.
"You eavesdropped on our conversation like a little gossip," Jess said.
"Just wanted to know if you were cheating on Levi too after what you did to me.
" He said a little too loudly, attracting the attention of several people in the room.
"He deserves someone better." A few people were now staring at us.
I should have been calm. I tried to be above it all, but the more he spoke, the angrier I became.
I should have acted civilized, but I could not take it any longer.
"You're the one who cheated on me with my friend, you asshole!" I said and threw my tea in his face.