Chapter 19
BETH
Iwas feeling a bit off this morning. Maybe it was all the changes coming into my life.
Lisa kept insisting I needed a day off, but the thought of doing nothing but worrying made me feel even more antsy.
So here I was at the diner, waiting for the doors to open, like any other morning.
I hoped the routine would bring me back into myself, that I would wake up feeling normal again.
When the doors unlocked and the first few customers started trickling in, I plastered on my usual smile.
Lisa gave me a look from behind the counter, a knowing glance that said she saw right through my fake cheerfulness.
I ignored it and focused on the tasks at hand, taking orders, pouring coffee, moving around the space like everything was normal.
And it was normal, at least on the outside.
My hands still shook when I wasn’t careful.
Sometimes the room spun a little too quickly.
But I tried not to show it. Lisa had her hands full just keeping the diner running smoothly, and I didn’t need her worrying about me too.
The pregnancy was my problem, something I hadn’t fully accepted, no matter what the doctor had said.
Mid-morning, things were busy enough that I could forget about myself for a while, until I noticed a few heads turning toward the window.
It wasn’t unusual for people to glance outside; it happened every time a car pulled into the lot.
But this was different. People were staring like they’d seen something they couldn’t quite believe.
I turned to see what the fuss was about and stopped in my tracks.
There, standing near the building across the highway from the diner, was a group of men with clipboards, surveying the place like they were planning something big.
One of them pointed at different parts of the structure, jotting notes, while another snapped photos.
They looked like they belonged in some big city office, not here in my small town where nothing much ever happened.
“What the hell is that all about?” Lisa came up beside me, wiping her hands on her apron as she joined in staring out the window.
“No idea. I didn’t know the town had sold that place.
” It had been empty as long as I could remember.
The owner tried to sell it off for luxury condos that nobody could afford.
But now, it looked like someone had big plans.
It made my stomach twist for some reason.
A part of me didn’t like it, felt like the town was changing too fast, like this might be something I didn’t want.
But that was selfish. Maybe this was what the place needed.
“Looks like they mean business,” Lisa muttered under her breath, her eyes narrowing on the men. “Think we should go ask what’s going on?”
“Probably better to wait. They might not even talk to us until they’re done.”
She nodded, though she still looked uneasy.
I was, too. Something about it didn’t sit right.
And the weird feeling stayed with me the whole morning, even as the day picked up.
Customers came and went, some of them casting curious glances out the window.
The usual lunch crowd filled the diner, but I caught snippets of conversations here and there, people speculating about who might be moving in and what it could mean for the town.
I tried not to listen too closely. It didn’t help that the dizziness was getting worse.
A couple of times I had to brace myself on the counter, my vision swimming and my legs suddenly too weak to hold me up.
Lisa noticed the first time, rushing over to steady me, her face full of concern.
But I waved her off. I could handle it. Just a bit of lightheadedness.
But I’d learned the hard way over the past week to eat a bit more frequently.
The last thing I wanted was to pass out while trying to serve a plate of pancakes.
By the afternoon, the surveyors were still at it, but at least they’d moved out of the direct line of sight from the diner.
That helped. But my head still throbbed, a dull pressure building behind my eyes.
I ducked into the kitchen to take a breather, leaning against the stainless steel counter and trying to get my bearings.
Maybe this was just what pregnancy was like in the beginning, this constant feeling of being on edge and a little unwell.
Or maybe I just wasn’t taking care of myself like I should be.
“Hey,” Lisa’s voice cut through my thoughts. She appeared in the doorway, drying her hands on a dish towel. “You sure you’re okay? Maybe you should sit down for a minute.”
“I’m fine,” I insisted, pushing myself off the counter even though my body protested. I couldn’t keep doing this, letting her take on more while I acted like nothing was wrong. She had enough to deal with without me collapsing on her.
She frowned but didn’t press, just went back to her work.
And I tried to keep going, like I was fine, but it felt like a lie.
Every hour that passed made it harder to pretend.
By the time the dinner shift started, I knew I wasn’t going to make it through the night without looking like a complete mess.
Lisa caught me leaning against a chair in the back booth, my face pale and hands trembling as I tried to take slow breaths to keep from throwing up. That was new.
“You’re done for the day.” Lisa’s voice brooked no argument. She was already helping a customer at the counter, but she shot me a stern look.
“I’m okay, really.”
“You’re not, Beth, and you need to rest. I’ve got this.
You need to take care of yourself now, and you’re not doing that right now.
” She handed a cup of coffee to a customer before turning back to me, her expression softening just a bit.
“Please, just go upstairs and lie down. You look like you’re about to drop. ”
I wanted to argue. I didn’t want to seem weak or like I couldn’t handle this. But the nausea was rising, and the last thing I needed was to pass out in front of a room full of people. “All right,” I gave in, my voice quieter than I wanted it to be.
She nodded, relieved, and I slowly made my way upstairs, each step feeling heavier than the last. By the time I got into my room, I collapsed onto the bed, the dizziness overwhelming me.
I stared up at the ceiling, trying to clear my mind, trying to ignore how badly I felt.
My life felt like it was slipping out of control, and the idea that I wasn’t even in charge of my own body made it worse.
I heard the door close softly as Lisa went back downstairs, leaving me to the silence.
I let my eyes drift shut, the world tilting beneath me like I was sinking into the bed.
The baby. It still felt so strange to think about it that way.
I didn’t know how to process the fact that I was about to be someone’s mother, especially with everything else falling apart around me.
But at least Lisa was here. At least I wasn’t alone. That had to count for something.
Later, I woke up to the sound of rain pattering against the window.
It was already dark out, the diner long since closed.
My head still felt foggy, but not as bad as before.
I could hear Lisa moving around downstairs, probably cleaning up after the last of the dinner shift.
I sat up, feeling slightly more like myself again, though my stomach still churned unpleasantly.
Maybe I should have stayed in bed, but the guilt of letting Lisa handle everything by herself pulled me up.
When I went downstairs, she looked over at me with concern in her eyes. “You shouldn’t be up.”
“I’m okay.” It was a lie, but it was the kind I needed to keep telling myself if I was going to get through the days. “You need help.”
She sighed, setting a stack of plates on the counter. “You’ve got to take it easy, Beth. I’m serious. This isn’t just you anymore. You’ve got to think about the baby, even if Chris isn’t around.”
The mention of Chris sent a sharp pang through me.
I wasn’t thinking about him right now. I couldn’t.
Every time his name came up, it reminded me of all the things I was trying not to deal with.
And now, with this pregnancy, the situation was even more complicated.
I wasn’t ready for that conversation. Not yet, maybe not ever.
“I know,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “I’m just trying not to fall apart.”
Lisa didn’t say anything to that. She just gave me a soft smile, a look that told me she understood.
Maybe she didn’t get the whole picture, but she knew enough.
I started helping her with the dishes, my hands still shaking a little, but it felt good to do something, anything that wasn’t thinking about how my life had been turned upside down.
After a few minutes of quiet work, she spoke again, more hesitant this time. “You ever think about telling him? About the baby, I mean.”
“I’ve thought about it.” The truth slipped out before I could stop it. “But what’s the point? He doesn’t need to know right now. I’m handling things just fine on my own.”
“But he’s the father. He has a right to know.”
“And he will. Just not right now.” I couldn’t explain the tightness in my chest when I thought about it, the way my whole body tensed at the idea of talking to him again.
The last time I’d seen Chris had been too raw, too painful, and now, with the baby in the picture, everything was more tangled than before.
“I need time to figure this out first. On my own.”
Lisa nodded slowly, her gaze steady on me. “Okay. But I’m just saying, you can’t do all of this alone, Beth. It’s okay to let people help you.”
I knew what she was getting at. I could tell by the look in her eyes she was thinking the same thing I had been all day, ever since those guys started poking around the old building across the highway.
They hadn’t said a word to anyone in town about their plans, and the silence around their work made me nervous.
I didn’t know if I was just overthinking it, but something about them felt familiar, and I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.
I just hoped that whatever they were doing, it didn’t have anything to do with me.
“Look, if I tell Chris about the baby, he’ll move heaven and earth to come back.”
“Isn’t that a good thing. You still love him, don’t you?”
“I do, but I can’t keep doing this dance, Lisa. And I need to know that him coming back is for me, not just because of an obligation.”
That silenced her. I couldn’t tell if she agreed or not, but it didn’t matter.
I was sure of it. And until I could make sense of everything in my head, Chris was the last person I wanted involved.
The only person I wanted to rely on right now was myself and Lisa.
It wasn’t the way I had planned on doing this, but life never worked out the way we wanted it to.
I just had to get through it, day by day.
“I could use some help with the dishes,” Lisa finally said, her tone softer now, like she was dropping the subject.
I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. “I’m here.”
She gave me a small smile. “That’s all I ask.
” We continued our work in silence, the sound of plates clinking against each other the only noise breaking up the quiet.
It felt like the world outside was moving too fast, like time was running away from me, but here in the diner, I could pretend for a little while that things were still the same. Even if they weren’t.