Chapter 13
Jordan
Mabel argued that filming in the bungalow was necessary because the more the viewers saw them, the easier it’d be to get attached. He disagreed. Leaving blanks in their storyline gave it room to breathe. Conversation and speculation were sure to follow as long as they planted the right seeds.
Jordan propped open the white patio doors and sat in one of the plush outdoor recliners.
The bungalow’s sunroom faced the sunset.
They sat out there every evening, basking in the fading heat, casually planning their date night, and waiting for the crickets to serenade them inside.
He checked his Tantivy email while waiting for Zinnia to join him.
Coco and Phil were thriving as directors for their respective stores and sent daily reports.
His real-life cover story was pretty close to the truth: an extended family emergency.
He had a plan for how to break his identity news to his friends and staff before the trailer aired, but he knew his life was never going to be the same.
As much as he loved being in-store, his days working Tantivy shifts were over—he couldn’t risk viewers showing up there to see him. His employees had to come first.
To fill the work void, he shifted his focus to opening a third store. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect for this expansion. Two Realtors had already gotten back to him with future touring dates.
“Finished.” Zinnia firmly closed the patio door behind her. She really had a thing about bugs getting into the house.
“What’s the plan? What sounds good? What are you in the mood for?” And he had a thing for stealing her lines to see if she’d notice.
Fresh out the shower and wearing a polka-dot nightgown, she sat in the chair on his left. She had incredible skin—her bare, glistening shoulders alone damn near hypnotized him.
He’d walked in on her moisturizing once. The sight of her massaging gentle, efficient circles on her legs stopped him dead in his tracks and wiped his brain clean. She’d looked up and smiled, always so happy to see him.
It took a beat for guilt to knock some sense into him. They didn’t have that kind of marriage by design and never would. He’d barely managed to mumble “Never mind” before leaving her room.
Shortly after, he found out the brand name of every product she used and added them to his shopping list.
She slouched down in her seat with a little pout. “I’m tired. Suffering through the drink activity today really wore me out.”
“How about a movie, then?” he offered. Watching one never failed to cheer her up.
She nodded, brightening. “Ooh, we can finish trying those ginormous cookies we bought yesterday. You know, I heard that they just use box cake mix and a ton of butter as a recipe, which is why some of the flavors tasted a little off. Wild, if true.”
“Who said that?”
“I’ll tell you while we set up. Come on.”
Zinnia always had a story to tell. She knew someone who knew someone who told someone else, and she was dedicated to keeping the telephone game going. He could, and often did, listen to her talk for hours.
Jordan wanted scheduled quality time to be a cornerstone of their marriage, but he never expected date night to become the best part of his day. It was just so fucking nice. He hated how simple that sounded, but it was true. Nice reflected how at peace he felt.
That was all he’d ever wanted. Someone who knew and accepted his secrets as if they were their own. Genuine feelings and living in the moment. That simplicity made being with Zinnia feel extraordinary.
She clutched a pillow to her chest and stretched out next to him on the floor in their usual nest of blankets and pillows.
Close enough to feel how warm she still was from the shower, but noticeably, purposefully not touching him.
Halfway through the movie, she said, “Sorry I lost it out there.” Her attention remained fixed on the screen while she gnawed on her bottom lip. “I’m not sure what’s wrong with me.”
The second they were locked away inside the bungalow, she transformed into a completely different person—herself.
It’d honestly taken him two days to realize she wore a scared persona like a jacket, taking it on and off.
It’d shamefully taken two more days to realize armor was the more apt description.
After the wedding cake incident, the twins’ pranks had slowed to a standstill thanks to his dad. Initially, Mabel had wanted to start a retaliation storyline—him and his dad relentlessly giving the twins a taste of their own chaos.
His dad had squashed it entirely. “No more of this shit. It’s time for them to grow up. Start phasing it out, effective immediately,” he’d said.
The estate was the quietest it’d ever been, but it was too late.
She held the pillow tighter, hands clenched into fists. “I keep having these, like, episodes where everything feels really…intense? It’s like…my brain keeps spinning like a Rolodex—do you know what that is? My grandma used to have one. I just can’t think my way out fast enough.”
“Has this ever happened before?” he asked carefully.
“No.” She shook her head and exhaled the anxious memory. “Not even when I was a kid. Back then, it was more like I just didn’t know what to do. I froze from inexperience, you know, usual growing-up stuff. This feels different.”
Jordan’s heart crashed to a stop. He’d been fantasizing about connecting deeper, practically lusting after her secrets.
Her sudden confession felt like a seismic shift in their relationship.
He mirrored her position, facing her. “Rolodex. Okay. What are you thinking about that makes you feel that way?”
She rolled over and stared at the ceiling with a determined look on her face.
“A lot. Too much. Every time I finally feel like I’m doing a good job, something always goes wrong.
Why did I have to flinch like that and ruin everything?
” she said, frustration reaching a fever pitch.
“I’ve never been married! I’ve never dated anyone!
I’ve never even had a noncelebrity crush in my life and now I have to figure out how to avoid something called the fucking friend zone. ”
Of all the things he’d expected her to say, that wasn’t on the list.
And he’d already made multiple lists about her. Listing helped him remember—things she loved, her favorite foods, stray comments, potential discussion topics, her various expressions and what he did to earn them. She was worth writing about.
“Oh, stop looking so shocked.” She rolled back onto her side, facing him head-on. “Some of us don’t have soulmates who are perfect in every way.”
“Bea is not my soulmate.” He inhaled sharply, pausing to check himself.
Zinnia was anxious, not angry. “Our families are close. We grew up together. No one was surprised when we started dating. We broke up because I didn’t want to be on Zaffre Hours, and she did.
Bea chose fame over me, okay? A soulmate wouldn’t do that. ”
He expected to see pity in her eyes but only found understanding. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that,” she said, heavy with regret. “You really lost everyone important to you, all at once.”
Jordan traded his family for privacy, but Bea was different. The last time they spoke, she’d said, “A clean break is for the best,” and never looked back. She ended up getting fired in the middle of season three.
He’d been eighteen and spiraling. Obsessively checking her social media.
Getting updates from Sadie, who was stuck between her brother and her friend.
Falling into a love-depression so severe his roommates at the time staged an intervention.
The usual post-breakup antics that seemed melodramatic in hindsight.
“Anyway, what’s done is done. I’m happy with the choice I made.”
“Not to brag, but I think it was a good one.” Her pleased smile was so subtle, it was nearly nonexistent. Someone would have to know her to recognize it. And he was starting to.
“So, you’ve really never been in love before? Please don’t hate me for saying this, but I kinda find that hard to believe.”
“Honestly? I never went looking for it and it never found me.” She shrugged, sighed, and then watched the movie instead of looking at him while she continued.
“Everyone is always searching for The One. I didn’t because I have…
The Four. My parents. Grace. Fiona. They’re all equally important to me in a way that I don’t think they even understand, but they are paired off so… here I am, hoping for The Five.”
Something told him that he’d always remember how wistfully beautiful she looked right then. “So, instead of The One, I’m The Plus One?” he deadpanned.
She whipped back to him, eyes wide, expression caught between delight and disbelief. “I must be rubbing off on you because that was something I’d actually say.”
He snickered, feeling triumphant. Not only had she confided in him, but he was also pretty sure he knew how to help her.
“I think I understand why you’ve been overthinking everything.
Let’s break this down one storyline at a time, starting with Sweetheart: You love me.
You’re getting to know my family. But things aren’t going as well as we hoped—”
“Because they hate me.”
“They don’t hate you and you have to stop holding back.
Being extroverted is your superpower,” he explained, leaning into her interruption.
“Your comebacks are faster than a speeding bullet. You open your heart and care for people like it’s a sworn oath.
When you laugh it feels like sunshine after an averted apocalypse.
You can shoot charm out of your eyeballs like laser beams, but they don’t know any of that because you never show them.
Match their chaotic energy by being yourself, turned all the way up. ”