Chapter 13 #2
He hated thinking about her pared down to her most commercial parts. Doing it made him feel slimy, like something gross was caked in his eyes and coated his teeth.
But then Zinnia giggled, and her sunshine laugh got him together. She knew what he’d meant: everything about her was remarkable to him.
“I’ll try.”
“Now, the second half of the Sweetheart storyline is closely tied to Newlyweds and our biggest hurdle.” He paused to make sure he had her full attention.
“Things aren’t going well. So, you should be coming to me for support and comfort because you trust me.
That in turn gives me a chance to help and encourage you to keep trying.
But you barely talk to me about the storylines while we’re on camera.
You leave the room during tense scenes. You don’t even touch me, which is something we need to fix as soon as possible. ”
“Wait, that’s not true.” She frowned for a moment before asking, “Is it? I mean, I’m not the most affectionate person in the world but I…I touch you.”
“You don’t hug me. You don’t hold my hand or my arm. You don’t lean on me. You don’t absently reach for me. Everyone has definitely noticed we never kiss, but that’s not as important.”
Her face transitioned through emotions at a rapid-fire clip. “Being affectionate will convince them that we love each other?”
“It’s a start.”
“That seems kind of shallow.”
“Shorthand isn’t shallow. We need those visual cues.”
“But there’s nothing special about what you listed.
I could do that with anyone. It should be different with you.
” She suddenly sat up straight, shoulders tense and hands pressed into her thighs.
That inquisitive shine in her eyes was out in full force.
“I’ve been trying to figure out how to show my way of loving someone. ”
Jordan didn’t know if he felt charmed or doomed.
Mabel pointing out how happy Zinnia looked in the mornings all but confirmed the direction they needed to go in.
The Newlyweds storyline would spin their nightly disappearing act as a need for alone time.
They’d given up their honeymoon and now made up for it night after night after night because there was no way they weren’t fucking like rabbits.
Zinnia full-on cackled after he finished explaining. “Oh, I wasn’t thinking about it like that! That makes sense, but wait, you don’t want me to kiss you?”
Her leaps in logic never ceased to amaze him. When did he say that? Starting there was a bad idea, definitely. She’d be fine. He’d be ruined.
“Right now, we need to focus on the buildup to our first on-screen kiss. We have to learn how to walk before we can run.”
“Got it.” She nodded.
He sat up, mirroring her again. “Pick something you think you’d be comfortable doing in front of the cameras and try it. I’ll follow your lead.”
She frowned before raising her hands—and then kept opening and closing them like a flashing signal.
“Any time now.”
“I’m getting there.” Her frown turned into a grimace as she concentrated.
Jordan kept his face neutral as he reeled internally. All these thoughts came barreling through, one after another, each one worse than the last because she really didn’t want to touch him?
She silently lowered her hands back to her lap. “I think what I’d naturally do isn’t what they want. I need to step outside of myself for this—does that make sense?”
“No, you’re—”
“Jordan. I’m not a leader, okay? I never have been, but I can do this if you help me.” She held his gaze and continued in a breathy rush. “Be chaotic. Let me match your energy.”
A wicked thrill shot through him. How could he make this work? She did love surprises, and he loved surprising her.
“What if we played a game?” He stood up and walked over to the large mirror near the front door. “Pretend I’m doing something. I’m being filmed, you walk into the room, but I haven’t noticed you yet. What are you going to do?”
“Say hi? Theatrically announce my presence with a twirl and pose?”
“Love that idea. But first, you have to play the game.” He grinned at her through the mirror.
She was still sitting on her knees surrounded by their blankets.
“Go stand by the hallway. Linger there watching me for a few seconds. Think about something that makes you happy. With your eyes still on me, you’re going to smile, lean against the wall, cross your arms, and bite your lip—in that order. ”
“Are you being serious?” She narrowed her eyes but sounded curious.
“What? Can’t a husband help his wife experiment with flirting?”
Her exhilarated, unguarded smile was the purest dopamine hit. She liked it when he called her some variation of wife. He mostly used his newfound power responsibly.
“But in the game, you’re not looking at me.”
“Touching isn’t everything. You also need to show that you’re attracted to me. There’s no better time to do that than when I’m not looking.”
“You sound like Fiona.” She laughed. “Okay, let’s pretend that I’ve lingered and stared. What’s next?”
“You’ll make a face like you’ve just realized something amazing or that you’re feeling frustrated, and you can’t wait a second longer. Then you’ll come stand behind me.”
Zinnia hopped to her feet and headed for the hallway. Her movements were a little stiff, robotic even, but her facial expressions carried the performance.
Jordan sucked in a breath. He’d pay good money to know what, or who, inspired that bashful smile. She chose to bite her thumbnail instead of her lip—a brilliant sweetheart swap, eager and trying to hide it.
Pure liquid-gold warmth filled him from head to toe.
Watching her pretend to lust after him felt like being blessed.
She was luminous and honeyed, and if he wasn’t careful, this feeling might ruin everything.
Because he wanted that look to be for him.
He flexed his hands to ground himself as she slowly walked across the room.
“You can’t pause and wait behind me like that.” He hoped she didn’t hear the strain in his voice as clearly as he did.
“You didn’t tell me what to do.”
“Come on, Zin.” He turned to face her. “You’ve just spent a handful of minutes secretly fantasizing about your husband. How do you want to play the game? That’s just as important as being able to follow my lead. Match me.”
Her concentration frown immediately reappeared. Vindication had never looked so cute.
“Okay, I’m ready.” She flapped her hands at him. “Turn around.”
He raised a questioning eyebrow before moving back into position. She shook out her hands and took a deep breath. And then did it again with an excited little squeak.
“I’m waiting,” he teased.
Zinnia cleared her throat, wiped her expression, and flipped her braids behind her shoulder.
Another breath in. She placed her hand in between his shoulder blades, letting it trail down his spine as she carefully stood closer to him.
The questioning hesitation in her eyes disappeared when he nodded.
That was all she needed. Her face filled with yearning as she confidently pressed her warm hand against his lower back. She curved around him, movements suddenly as fluid as a dancer. He gazed down at her, waiting. She tilted her head up, mouth daringly close to his, and whispered, “I missed you.”
He felt her breath against his lips and his brain blinked. Desire squared up with every speck of self-control he had. He turned away before crossing the line, exhaling a nervous laugh.
“Was that good?” She bounced on the balls of her feet.
“It was…something.”
“Something? Your ears are turning red.” Her fingers barely grazed his earlobe before he caught her hand in midair. Moving quickly, he wrapped one arm around her waist and spun them in a circle. She flowed with him, and only a quiet gasp betrayed her when he pinned her against the wall.
“How does standing like this make you feel?”
Already back in character, she held his gaze head-on, eyes alight with yearning again. “Close. Very close.”
“Uncomfortable?”
Zinnia slowly shook her head as yearning gave way to smoldering. She angled her body to be closer to him, silently daring him to make another move. “Do your worst. I can handle it.”
Shit. He didn’t anticipate her being such a quick study. “Trust me, you can’t. Not yet.”
“I do,” she said. “Trust you, I mean. That’s how I know I can.”
All he’d ever wanted.
“Let’s keep it easy for now. Scale of one to ten: How much do you like holding hands?”
She held up and wiggled five fingers. “My other hand is busy.”
“Hugging?”
“Depends.” She pouted, lower lip sticking out as she thought about it. “Do you give good hugs?”
“Would you like to find out? No time like the present.”
Jordan held perfectly still while her arms circled his waist, palms flat against his back. She leaned into him, face near his neck. Her breath fanned out against his skin and his eyes fluttered against his will, senses and nerves finally past their breaking points.
Thank god she didn’t see how weak she made him. How easily he folded like a lawn chair as soon as he had her in his arms.
Feeling her deep inhale as she breathed him in and hearing her exhale a soft, contented sigh was a twisted reminder that this was all he’d ever have.
“I’m sorry I ruined everything on our wedding day.”
“We’re past that,” she said earnestly.
“I’m sorry.”
Sorry for failing her. Sorry for himself. Sorry for already seeing exactly where he was headed.
She pulled back. Whatever she saw on his face made her look into his eyes and say, “Ten.”