Chapter Nineteen
Eric
S o…I’m gonna suck Donovan’s dick tonight.
I really want to drive him wild, want to know what he tastes like and how he likes to be touched. I know everything else about him, so it’s about time I start learning these sexual things about him too. If you ask me, all it can do is make our relationship stronger.
“I bet I’m gonna be good at giving head,” I tell him on the drive home.
“Full of confidence, are you?” he teases.
“About sex stuff, I am. Do you like your balls licked? I really like mine to be all tongued up.”
“Oh, sweet Jesus,” Donovan replies.
“What?”
“You’re just so different, is all.”
I frown. “Different from me? I’ve always been like this.” I’m not so sure I like where this conversation is going.
“No. Different from everyone. You always have been.” When I don’t respond right away, he adds, “It’s a good thing, babe.
I just love how you jump into everything.
You don’t second-guess yourself. Even when you feel like you don’t know who you are, you do.
Like realizing you’re bi. Some people would have gotten all up in their heads about it, but you didn’t. You just went with the flow.”
He’s giving me way more credit than I deserve.
I second-guess myself about some stuff. I can’t even keep a job or health insurance.
“It’s easy because I’m doing it with you.
If I had to find some rando to blow, I’m not sure I’d be as confident.
You’ll show me what to do, and if I suck at first, it doesn’t matter. ”
“Didn’t you just say you’d be good at it?”
“I’m trying to be humble here,” I joke, and we both laugh.
Donovan sobers. “I really am serious, though. I was so stressed when I realized I was gay.”
“You were a kid, and the world was different.” It’s still not great. There’s a lot to do, but it is better.
“I didn’t care what most people thought. I knew my family would accept me, but…I was so scared of telling you, of losing you.”
That admission stops my heart. How could I have ever let Donovan doubt me? “I’m sorry if I did something that made you think I—”
“No,” he cuts me off. “You didn’t do anything.
I promise. It’s not in your DNA. But we were kids, and I thought you were straight.
Times were different, like you said. I was so worried you would think that meant I wanted you or I’d be inappropriate with you, that you’d be embarrassed of what others would think.
But those things were coming from my head—internalized shit and because the world can be a fucked-up place sometimes. ”
I got that from our conversation when we were kids, him being nervous about me knowing, but it’s not something I’ve thought of in a long time.
“But all you did was make me feel comfortable, make me feel accepted and loved. We watched movies, and you slept in my bed like you always did, and all I could think was that I never wanted to do anything to mess that up.”
Which is why he’s been checking in with me to make sure I’m okay and that this is what I want.
“I remember you told me you felt different, and that being gay was just another way you were different, and I was stuck between thinking—first, you’re not different.
You’re just my Dono. And second, that you were different, not because of the gay thing, but because you’re special.
I like you better than anyone else. But then I started to feel different from you.
I suddenly started wishing I were gay because I wanted to be what you were, which is odd when you think about it.
That I had those feelings back then, but it still took me this long to realize I’m bisexual. ”
Donovan doesn’t answer, and I rack my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong, what I said wrong, but nothing is coming to me. Did I say something insensitive? Offensive? Make him wonder what the fuck is wrong with me?
He pulls into the driveway, turns off the car, and the interior light comes on. His gaze is intense, his brown eyes holding something I can’t read.
“What?”
“You really wished you were gay just because I was? You never wished I were straight?”
Oh. I never thought about it that way. But… “Why would I want to change you?”
“Why would you want to change you?” he counters.
I shrug. “I don’t know, D. I don’t make sense half the time. I don’t think it means anything.”
“I love you,” he says, and my eyes widen because…is he… “Not like that! I’m not saying I’m in love with you. I just love you. I don’t think you know how special you are.”
“I absolutely know how awesome I am,” I tease.
“I’m being serious, babe.”
He is. I can tell. And really, it means the world to me. Makes my heart feel soft and my pulse beat too fast. People might think I’m pretty or fun, but most of them don’t think I’m special the way Donovan does.
“I love you too, D. Now, let’s go in and get your dick in my mouth.”
He laughs, and I love how easily I can make him do that.
We get out of the car and head inside. Donovan unlocks the door and stands aside for me to go in first. “Such a gentleman,” I tease.
I’m surprised when Donovan takes my hand as he leads me into our—his—bedroom. He flicks on the light, and when I go for my shirt, he stops me.
“You’re going to suck my dick. The least I can do is take our clothes off.”
“That and suck me off back.”
“Oh yeah. That’s a given.” He gives me a grin that makes my stomach feel fluttery. Pre-BJ nerves, maybe?
Donovan leads me to the bed, then tugs my LA Rebels T-shirt over my head. I had to rep our team, of course. “You have such a great body.” He runs his hand down my chest.
“Um…and you don’t? You’ve worked hard over the years. It definitely paid off.” Not that there was anything wrong with him before. I love all versions of Donovan.
He kneels in front of me and tugs down my shorts. My dick is already getting hard, and it doesn’t help to see Donovan on his knees in front of me.
“Aren’t we in the wrong position for me to do the sucking?”
“We’ll get there. It’s going to be hard for me to wait. I love sucking dick.” He presses his lips to my stomach, and the fluttering feeling there grows.
Donovan takes my shoe off, gets my shorts and underwear off around my boot, and then stands. Before I have much of a chance to do anything, he’s stripping out of his clothes, shoes, and socks too.
We’re both totally hard now, cocks out, and I bump mine into his. “We can play games with these things. Tag, you’re it.” I tap his dick with mine again.
“Oh my God. You’re such a dork.”
“You love that about me,” I tell him.
Donovan looks at me funny before he says, “I do,” then cocks a brow. “So how do you wanna do this?”
How do I want to do this? The boot doesn’t make this easy. “Should you sit up with your back against the headboard and I can kinda lie between your legs?”
His dick twitches.
“Oh hey. You liked that.”
“You’re talking about being between my legs.
Of course I do.” Donovan pushes some of the pillows out of the way and gets into position.
He’s slowly stroking his shaft as he watches me, waits for me to move or do something, and…
holy shit is he hot. This whole visual in front of me is one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen.
But we’re not just here for me to ogle him, are we? So I get onto the mattress and settle myself. My boot is heavy and annoying, but I find a way to get as comfortable as I can. I can’t wait to get rid of this thing, but right now all I want is to focus on Donovan’s dick.
He’s trimmed the tight black curls at his groin recently. His balls are really full and high, cock long and leaking. Without wasting any time, I lean in and swipe my tongue over the tip, collecting the fluid there.
He gasps. “Shit. Jump right in, why don’t you?”
“Would you expect anything else from me?” Because of course that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
When I lean down again, I let my tongue make a stripe from the base of his cock to the tip. His skin is salty, which makes sense. This masculine, musky scent fills my senses, making me inhale to get more of it because that smell? It goes straight to my dick. Makes me harder and feel drunk off him.
“Fuck,” he says, his voice tight.
“You smell good.” I breathe him in again. “And taste good too.” I lick him again, then let my tongue circle his crown. “This is kinda fun. It’s so hot against my tongue. What do you want me to do, D? Tell me.”
“Jesus. That’s sexy, babe. Suck me.” He puts his hand on my head and eases me down.
I…like that, him telling me what he wants and leading me along like this.
It’s not something I’ve experienced with someone I was having sex with before.
I’ve always taken the lead, and in some ways, yeah, I’ll want to do that with Donovan too, but I like him guiding me.
I’ve always trusted Donovan more than anyone. He always knows the right thing to do.
I let him push my head down until I’m close to his shaft again, then take the tip into my mouth. More of his salty flavor bursts on my tongue, the taste of his precum making me throb.
“Yeah, that’s it. Like that,” he says when I slowly take more of him, then pull off some.
He’s long, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to take all of him, but the way Donovan’s hand tightens in my hair says he likes what I’m doing so far.
My gaze meets and holds his as I bob on his cock. This is pretty fucking easy. I’m good at this, if the dazed expression on his face says anything.
I like it too.
I try to take more of him, get my hand into the action. He’s wet with my saliva, drool running down my chin as I blow him like this is my favorite thing in the world. Maybe it is my favorite thing in the world. When I finally fuck him, I think that will be high on the list as well.
“Lick my balls like you were saying you like. I want to feel your tongue on them.”
Lust shoots through me at Donovan’s words. Not only because I want to suck on his nuts, but because hello, bossy Donovan is where it’s at.
I pull off his cock reluctantly because part of me wants to keep sucking it. I don’t want to let it go, don’t want to not feel his hot length against my tongue, but Donovan likes having his balls sucked, and I can’t lie, I want to feel those in my mouth.
I keep looking into his eyes because…well, because I like looking at them. There’s something comfortable I always feel when Donovan is in my sight, and also, I really want to see how much he enjoys this.
I lap at his heavy sac, feel the soft skin against my tongue. He hisses in response. His grip on my hair tightens, which makes me want to please him even more, and almost makes me shoot my load.
I alternate between his balls and his cock, licking and sucking, jerking him off and trying to take him as deep as I can. I choke a few times, but that just spurs Donovan on more, and I can’t blame him. I love the feel of someone choking on my dick.
He spreads his legs more, eases his body down some, and says, “I, um…my hole, babe. If you finger me, I’m gonna shoot. You know how much I love to have something inside me.”
I do know that from what he’s told me, but I damn sure want to experience it.
“You want me to finger you?” I ask before giving my attention to his sac again.
“Fuck yes. I’ve got so much saliva dripping down there, you don’t need lube.”
“Holy crap. Have you always been this hot?”
I ease my finger behind his balls, Donovan moving down more to give me better access. I circle his tight rim, dick back in my mouth while I suck it and savor it and hope like hell we can do this all the fucking time. I want to suck off my husband every chance I get.
He groans at my touch, then curses when I push into him. His hole is so fucking tight. My dick twitches, and I almost come.
Pleasuring Donovan goes straight to my head. I rut against the mattress, fucking my finger into him while I suck on his dick.
I take him as deep as I can, quirk my finger, try to find his prostate because I know it’s the best feeling ever . I brush my finger over it once, twice. He’s squirming, thighs tightening.
“I’m gonna come, babe. Pull off if you don’t want it. Fuck, I’m about to nut.”
But I don’t pull off.
I want it.
Did he not believe me when I said it before?
My mouth on his dick and my finger up his ass must be too much for him because a second later he’s saying my name, arching his body toward me and spilling a huge fucking load down my throat.
It’s…well, it’s cum. I’ve tasted my own, but something about knowing it’s Donovan’s makes it even hotter. He tastes different from me, and I like his even better.
I suck as much of him out as I can, keep swallowing until he’s done shooting and his hold on my head slackens. My scalp stings, but I like the feel of it, like knowing he was losing control.
“God, that was amazing. I want to die, but I need to taste you too.”
My lips pull into a grin. “There’s no chance I’m arguing with that.”