28. Chapter 28 - Cade
Did I wake up from my own dreams again?
Blinking into the darkness, I hear her soft whimper again.
Ah, shit. I hope it isn’t something in her belly.
Flinging off the blanket, I stifle my groan as I unfold myself from the loveseat and cradle my head in my hands for a moment.
Part of me wishes this was all just a nightmare. That I’ll open my eyes and Ava wasn’t a monster, Ros hasn’t been abused her whole life, and my nephew doesn’t look at me with hatred in his eyes.
Except it’s all fucking true.
My bare feet yell at me when I step onto the cold floor. This place leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to insulation.
Knocking softly, I press my forehead against the wood. “Ros? Are you okay?”
“Sore,” she moans.
Damn it, what time is it? I have no idea. I bet the ibuprofen wore off.
“I’ll be there in just a sec,” I mumble through the door before shuffling to the table. Sleepily, I shake out a few of the tiny pills, then grab a bottle of water from the fridge.
I wonder if one of the gas stations will be open on Christmas so I can grab a few things to hold us over until I can hit a grocery store?
Hmm. I bet Pete has a stash. I’ll check when I wake up.
Or morning. I guess I am up now.
“Ros, I’m coming in.” Only the dim red light from the bedside clock illuminates the edge of the bed, yet it’s enough to keep me from bumping my toes on the frame.
When I nudge her shoulder, her eyes glow a soft orange from the reflection.
“Is it your belly?” I drop the anti-inflammatories into her palm that she pops into her mouth obediently.
“No.” Taking the water, she swallows then sighs. “My knees and hips from when I fell.” Her lips tilt in the dim light. “Pretty sad that my butt is what hurts the most.”
“Ass kicked,” I chuckle. “Those should make you feel a little better soon.” I want to reach out and touch her but shouldn’t.
“Cade?” Her voice stops me before I can leave. “Would you sit with me until they kick in?”
She wants me to?
“Sure.” I’m sure that comes out sounding a little more gruff than I intend. I just didn’t expect the sudden lump to form in my throat with her question.
Moving around the other side, I slide over the blankets and prop myself with a couple of the extra pillows. I’m far enough away that I can’t touch her easily.
Because I’m tempted to tug her close and hold her until she knows that someone cares for her.
Even if it’s just me.
So when she turns over with a grimace to face me, I give in to how pointless it was to try and keep some space.
Her cool fingers snake out from the blanket to rest on the tender spot inside my elbow. “Merry Christmas, huh?”
I reach over and pat her knuckles. “One of the best ones I’ve had in a long time,” I admit.
It’s been too many years since the last time I’ve shared the holidays with anyone.
“Does your family do anything to celebrate?” she asks in a hushed tone as she buries into her pillow.
Her skin against mine is distracting. “My mom used to go all out when we were kids.” I smile into the darkness. “Dad would grumble about hanging the lights, but they’d always look so good when he was done.”
I wonder who’s in charge of them now? Mason hated it just as much.
“My parents didn’t celebrate.” Her touch lightens to trace her nail over the vein on the inside of my arm.
It sends little shockwaves through my chest with every short stroke.
“But one year Ava snuck me a diary. I loved it.” Her sniffle tells me there’s something more.
“That sounds like a beautiful gift.” I still don’t want to believe that Ava did such unbelievably cruel things to Rosalyn.
“Mmm. Yea. My mom found it. I guess I wrote in there that I thought a boy at school was cute.” Her thumb drifts across my scarred forearm. “She didn’t like it. I got punished and that’s when I started homeschool.”
I wince into the darkness. That would have been around the time I was dating Ava.
Their mom was taking it out on Rosalyn that Ava was already out of their control.
Fuck.
“Is it wrong?” Her question is so quiet I barely understand her.
“Is what wrong?” I ask drowsily. The pattern she’s tracing along my elbow is making my head buzz but it’s also relaxing in a way I didn’t know I needed.
There’s a long pause. Almost enough that I start to doze off.
But when she finally speaks, it’s as if a bucket of cold water douses me.
“If I think a guy is cute?” Her fingers freeze on my arm.
Shit. Isn’t that what she called me?
I take a moment to weigh my reply. “I don’t think admiring someone you think is good looking is a bad thing.”
Just please don’t be me. I can’t be the man she needs. I’m too fucking broken myself. She deserves someone who has more to offer than the regret and isolation that I wallow in.
There has to be someone out there who can appreciate how incredible she is like I do.
God damn it.
She is incredible. She has more inner strength in her little finger than I do in my whole body.
“I like that,” she mumbles. “I like you, you make me feel safe.”
How do I respond to that? Coming from her, I can’t imagine a bigger compliment.
I don’t. I sit there dumbfounded until her breathing levels and her hand stills on my arm.
She makes me want to move mountains to protect her.
I’ll do anything so she always feels that way around me.
Rosalyn’s palm flattens on my shoulder as she nestles closer.
Huh. I can see her. It’s morning?
I slept better next to her than I have in ages. Maybe it’s because the bed is a hell of a lot more comfortable than the couch.
Or did I finally find a little peace being next to her?
I must be getting old. Being in the same bed with her and all I do is want to sleep?
Hope I didn’t snore.
Moving slowly, I let her hand rest gently on the warm spot I vacate and light foot it to the bathroom.
Ahh, there’s the proof of lying next to a pretty girl all night.
My damn dick wants me to pee in my own face. I practically have to Superman over the toilet to hit the mark.
Guess I’m not dead yet.
All I can think about is her warm touch as I start the coffee pot.
I’ve got enough eggs for breakfast, definitely hitting the store tomorrow. I wonder if any of the clothing stores will be open?
Shit. Probably have to go to Missoula for one of the bigger box places.
I’ve got a decade of good money from hard work and solid investments sitting in the bank and no one to spend it on by myself all these years.
The idea I get to put a smile on her face as I spoil her makes me feel like a teenager again.
In fact, I have a plan for today that might help.
“Morning.” She limps out of the room with pink cheeks. “Did you stay in there with me all night?” Her brows rise towards her golden messy hairline.
“Yea, sorry, I fell asleep.” I tilt my mouth in a half frown.
The corner of her lips rise. “It was nice.”
She has the audacity to drop that bomb and then disappear into the bathroom.