Chapter 45
45
Wraith
X ander was avoiding me. It started slow, with him giving one-word answers or staring at his phone a lot. Then he started staying in his room instead of sitting in the living room or at the table to do his homework. When he said he wanted to start walking to school, I asked him if I did something, but he said no and left to take Thor for a walk, keeping his gaze averted. I wasn’t sure what the hell was happening, but it felt like we went six steps backward in the last week. Even at bowling night with Butch and Prez and their families, he sat as far away from me as he could and avoided talking to everyone but Mel.
She noticed the change too, but she just kept telling me to give him more time. More time for what? I couldn’t fix the problem if I didn't know what the hell it was, and he wouldn’t speak to me.
By the time we made it to our family therapy appointment, I was on edge. I asked Mel to join this time because she was the only one Xander seemed to connect to, and I didn’t want him spending the entire hour avoiding talking to me.
Addison smiled at us as we sat down, greeting Mel first since she was the only one who would give the woman eye contact. Xander and I sat on opposite ends of the couch, facing away from each other. Mel pursed her lips, shaking her head.
“I’m not sitting between you two and I’m not choosing sides.”
Addison raised her eyebrows at her. “Is something wrong?”
Mel’s gaze flicked to Xander and got sad for a second. I got the feeling she knew what was bothering him, but she promised he could talk to her about anything and she’d keep it to herself. It annoyed me because she was keeping secrets from me too, but at the same time, I couldn’t take away Xander’s comfort by demanding she choose between us.
“Xan?” Mel urged, trying to get Xander’s attention.
In a move that surprised even me, he curled in on himself and dragged his knees to his chest. I hadn’t seen him look that way since he arrived. Like he was hiding from me. I shot a look at Mel, but she looked almost as pained as he did.
“Mel? What’s going on?” I demanded.
Drawing in a slow breath, Mel moved to squat in front of Xander. She lifted her eyebrows at him. “We can’t keep going like this. It’s hurting you too much. Do you want me to talk to him?”
He barely nodded and curled in on himself a little more. Almost like he was bracing himself. What the hell?
Mel gave him a small smile and pushed to her feet. Addison vacated her chair, which sat opposite the couch, and faced us both. “I feel like you need this more than I do. I’ll just sit back here in case I’m needed.”
She propped herself against her desk, giving Mel the floor. Mel sat, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. I sat up, bracing myself for the worst. Did he want to leave? Would he prefer rolling the dice with foster care over staying with me?
“About a week ago, Xander told me why Jorge kicked him out. He’s worried when you find out why, you’ll be unhappy about it. I think under different circumstances, I would’ve preferred to give him time to explain things himself, but your relationship is still new and this is driving a wedge between you.”
“What is it?” Because unless he murdered someone, I didn’t know what would scare him so much that he couldn’t tell me. And even then, I’d have a hard time believing he did it for any reason other than self-defense.
Mel pressed her lips together and sighed. “Jorge kicked Xander out because he found out Xander is gay. He found him reading a book with two main male interests and lost it.”
My brows drew together slightly. “... Okay?”
I was waiting for more. Something life-altering enough to make me not want to keep him. So he was gay. Why would that change anything?
Mel’s eyebrows raised, and she tipped her head toward Xander. He was watching me with wide, terrified eyes swimming in tears. My frown deepened.
“I don’t get it. What’s wrong with that?”
For the second time in a week, it felt like I said the wrong thing because Xander burst into tears. Mel pushed out of her seat, moving to sit beside him so she could hold him. When I shot a questioning look at Addison, she had a slight smile tugging at her lips. She must’ve taken pity on my confusion because she put things into a different perspective for me.
“Coming out is a big moment for LGBTQ+ kids. With the amount of negativity thrown at them, it can be difficult to find the courage to be true to themselves and their families. Many, like Xander, end up homeless because their families can’t accept it. Considering the reaction he got when his father found out, I’m assuming he was afraid the same would happen with you.”
I understood the basis of all of that. I wasn’t blind to how people treated the queer community. But I still didn’t get it. “What did I do that made him think I wouldn’t be okay with it?”
Looking to Xander for answers wasn’t going to get me anywhere. He was too upset. It was Mel who spoke up for him.
“It wasn’t anything you did or didn’t do. He’s said it before. When it comes to blood family, you’re all he has. Besides, you don’t outwardly show your opinions on anything. Other than maybe your love for the color black. You’re a big manly biker in a crew filled with other bikers. Kind of the last place people would expect to find allies.”
I opened my mouth to argue, then closed it again. She had a point. Nothing about me or my crew screamed queer allies. I knew none of the guys had a problem with it. We participated in a pride parade during a rally a few years back to show our support for another crew whose president and VP got married. But just looking at us, you wouldn’t notice that. And I’ve never said it out loud because it never came up .
I glanced at my brother again with fresh eyes. There was no way he could’ve known I’d support him. Not with something like this. Especially not after how Jorge treated him. I was all he had left. If I had a problem with it, he’d have nowhere else to go.
“Xander.”
He didn’t look up, but his hiccuping sobs slowed enough that I knew he was listening to me.
“I’m never going to have a problem with who you choose to date. I’m your brother. My job is to keep you safe and happy. I don’t give a shit what gender they are as long as they make you happy.”
He launched himself off the couch so fast it made Mel jump. I got up just in time for him to throw himself at me, hugging my middle tight enough to make me grunt. I ignored it, hugging him back like I did that day the stupid cop tried to threaten him. It didn’t matter what bullshit came his way, I was always going to protect him and have his back.
Mel sniffled and when I looked up, she had tears in her eyes, but she was smiling, so I doubted she had an issue with it. She’d always been a staunch ally. She even had a pin on her scrubs with her pronouns, so people knew where she stood. I beckoned her, and she joined us, surrounding Xander with all the love he needed.
Addison hummed a happy noise. “I always love when things turn out like this without me needing to prod.”
When I lifted my head enough to look at her, she smiled at me. “You were worried during our first session about being good enough to take care of him.” She gestured to Xander. “You’re exactly who he needs. I don’t think you’ll have any problems in the future.”
Instead of pushing Xander to talk about how he felt about everything, Addison suggested we go home and spend some quality time together before coming back for another session. It was Mel’s night off, so we could all be together. Mel suggested a restaurant so I wouldn’t be pulled away into the kitchen. I think it was also to take the pressure off Xander. I wasn’t going to talk about anything too serious while we were out in public. Not unless he was okay with it. He might’ve come out to me, but that didn’t mean he was out to everyone. And kids in school were dicks.
We ended up going back to that Japanese restaurant in the mall. Mel wanted a redo of the experience, and no one gave us a second glance now that Xander wasn’t covered in bruises and his hair was coming in. He looked like any other kid, and because he looked just like me, no one questioned if we were related.
The same kid from that day came up to our table, a bright smile on his face. “Hey, again! I’m glad you’re back.”
Xander’s menu came up so fast, he almost smacked himself in the face with it. I wasn’t sure why at first, not until Mel distracted the kid and I glanced over the edge of the menu. Xander’s face was bright red, and he winced when the kid looked in our direction. I smothered a laugh, hiding my smile by pretending to rub my mouth while I studied the menu.
“What can I get you to drink?” the kid prompted.
“A Coke is fine,” I answered blandly. I was trying to play it cool, but Xander was making it really hard. Mel kicked me under the table, but she was just as bad as I was.
“And you?” The kid was now looking directly at Xander, who was blushing so hard the tips of his ears were red.
“A-Anything is fine,” he rushed out, sinking a little lower in his seat.
That wasn’t really something you could say to a server though, so I came to his rescue. “He’ll have a coke too.”
The kid nodded and wandered off to grab our drinks. Once he was out of earshot, I snorted and Xander punched me in the arm.
“Shut up!”
It felt like a huge weight was lifted off him. He didn’t flinch or panic, waiting for my reaction, he didn't clam up and stop speaking. He was just a kid, embarrassed about his reaction to a cute boy, and trying hard to climb under the table to avoid us.
“Aw, don’t be mean, Mattias, or I’ll tell him how the entire crew knew you had a crush on me for years,” Mel said, backing him up.
That made Xander grin, and when she threw her arm around his neck, he leaned into her with a smirk .
I rolled my eyes with a smile. “They noticed you too. Don’t act like you were any more subtle than I was.”
She lifted a shoulder. “I’m adorable and can get away with it. The next club party, you’re going to be poked at the entire night.”
My expression darkened. Shit. She wasn’t wrong. I hated being the center of attention in general, but having my whole club tease me didn’t sound like a good time.
“Maybe we should avoid club parties for a while.”