Chapter Twelve
MERRICK - NOW
“Merrick…” Era said quietly, emotion glistening in her eyes. “I am so sorry. To go through all of that, and so young…” She lowered her gaze, wiping the tears that slipped free. “It’s horrific.”
“It felt good shattering all the windows of his home,” I said quietly.
“I still remember how scared Elowen was. She didn’t wish to be around me for quite a while after that, and, at the time, I was glad.
I wanted nothing to do with their perfect little family.
” My lips trembled, tears slowly gliding down my face.
“But you know what killed me later? What thought has taunted me all these years?” I exhaled slowly.
“That if only I had known I could not just feel the emotions of others but could make others feel mine…that maybe I could have saved her. That maybe I could’ve provided her relief from her broken mind. ”
Era placed her hand on my cheek, gentle yet firm. “Merrick, those what-ifs? They’ll torment your mind for the rest of your life. None of that was your fault, nor was it your responsibility.” She dragged her thumb along my cheekbone, then pulled my face to hers. “You were just a child.”
I tried my best to give her a smile, though I knew it had to have looked pitiful.
I kissed the tip of her nose, then rested my forehead against hers.
“My mother’s house was eventually sold. Ames was so small that many of us were desperate for our own space but forced to share homes.
I, of course, couldn’t afford to pay for it all on my own.
So, I stayed with Torrin…well, until his parents disappeared and he was sent to Otacia by Igon.
Their house was sold then, too. After that, I was forced to live with my father. Thankfully, he kept his distance...”
I inhaled deeply, then gently withdrew, sliding my hand through her hair, her hand still on my cheek, grounding me.
Era leaned in closer, her lips touching mine, just for a moment. “Did you ever talk with your father after it?” she asked softly.
I shook my head, gnawing at my lip piercing.
“I just…couldn’t. I wanted him to hurt like how he’d hurt my mother.
I knew I couldn’t cause damage like he had done to her, but I wanted him to suffer, knowing his only son would never want anything to do with him.
” I brushed my other hand down her side.
“He never stopped trying. And now…” I inhaled sharply.
“Now that I know what it’s like to fall in love with someone when they’re committed to someone else…
” I sighed again, then gave her a sad smile.
“It doesn’t justify what he did. It doesn’t make it right, certainly not how he handled it.
But I suppose a small part of me now understands. Even if only a little bit.”
I leaned my forehead against hers again, feeling that blissful emotion as she stroked my cheek.
“I now know how much of a hypocrite I am,” I admitted quietly. “Cheating to me was such a horrible, unforgivable offence, and yet here I am with you in my arms.”
Her eyes softened as she withdrew. “You’re not the one cheating,” she pointed out.
I suppose she was right. Viola and I weren’t together. Fuck buddies at best.
“Perhaps…but, if the roles were reversed, I wouldn’t hesitate either.” I gave her a sweet kiss. “Gods… nothing could keep me away from you.”
She held back her smile, offering me a peck before drawing me into a hug.
“Love is complicated,” she spoke in a whisper.
“Sometimes, you find your person at an inconvenient time. But that doesn’t justify his cruelty.
Doesn’t justify his mistreatment of you.
” She squeezed me tightly. “You are nothing like him.”
You are nothing like him.
Those words forced a soft cry out of me, and I held Era close—so close our hearts beat against each other. She was nothing but patient with me, holding me for several minutes until my tears stopped.
Eventually, I had the strength to pull away. Wiping my eyes, the corner of my lip raised. “So… I’m your person?”
She climbed over, straddling me on the velvet loveseat. “Yes, you are.”
My heart raced as I remembered all that we had said the night before. “You love me?”
“I love you,” she confirmed, pressing her lips to mine. We stayed like that for a few moments, kissing slowly, lovingly. It felt so good. So right.
“Thank you for sharing something so vulnerable with me,” she said tenderly.
“Thank you for listening.” I glanced back at the vase beside the couch, and my breath caught. “Wow…”
“Unreal.” Era hurried off my lap and hauled the zinnias out of their vase. I scooted over, reaching inside the glass container, and grasped the key submerged in the water.
“What symbol is it?” she asked in awe.
I held my dripping fingers up to her, rotating the brass. “Spiral.”
She grabbed it from me, hurrying over to the door, placing the key inside the lock. Once we heard a click, the brass key joined the others.
We went back to where we were sitting on the loveseat, arms holding each other close.
“What will we do?” Era asked after a beat, her nervous brown gaze lifting to mine. “If we somehow ever find our friends again…escape this place?”
I pried into her emotions. Yearning. Anticipation. Fear. It was not much different from how I felt.
“I don’t know,” I whispered as I tucked a chunk of her blonde strands behind her ear. “Is it selfish of me to wish we could just stay here forever?”
She grinned, then kissed my cheek. “A little.” Then, her smile fell. “I would fear for you if Silas found out. He has a good heart, but he can be a violent man.”
I honestly didn’t know what Silas would do. I knew his and Lena’s secret. I knew he had cheated on Era. As I lost myself in her brown eyes, a wave of guilt took hold of my heart.
I should tell her.
But the words wouldn’t come out. Not only did I promise Lena to keep my mouth shut, but I couldn’t handle seeing Era hurt like that. And if we did manage to get out of this place, then what? Everything was too complicated.
Would Silas gladly let her go, not protest if she wished to be with me?
Would she still want me if she realized I’d kept their secret? Would she see that as a betrayal?
Sensing my internal battle, Era leaned in and pecked my cheek again. “We’ll figure this out,” she whispered.
We would… and I could only hope that when the time came, she would forgive me.