Chapter 15
A few weeks ago
Leesburg
Ash Riley
“Look at’chu go, you actually lowered your handicap for the first time ever.” I threw an arm around James’s shoulders.
He laughed and shoved at me. “You dick. I’ll have you know I’m at forty-nine now.”
Incredible.
I grinned.
“And what are you at, little brother?” Theo asked as he got out of the golf cart.
“Twelve—but this round didn’t do me any good.” I’d played like shit. “And no, I’m not asking you what you have.” I already knew the bastard was an eight or something.
I enjoyed golf a whole lot, but I wasn’t passionate about it like my brother—or Dylan, for that matter. He was already better than me. I got my thrills from more adrenaline-inducing sports. Running, climbing, diving, bouldering, and so on.
I was done for the day, though. Now I just wanted to sit my ass in the sauna.
As decided earlier, we’d all meet up for dinner at seven, which gave us four hours to do whatever we wanted. Four hours for me to shower, sit in a sauna, maybe take a steam, consider a massage, and possibly indulge in a nap.
After leaving our golf bags in our room, James and I went directly to the spa, and we noticed most of our guys had opted to do other shit. Some were still playing golf, some wanted to sit at the bar, and several wanted to take advantage of having a nice hotel room with no screaming kids.
I couldn’t relate to the latter anymore. I had bitching teenagers instead, and Mikey rarely threw tantrums. Lily got huffy and bossy but wasn’t much of a crier. She could whine like a pro, however.
“They have whirlpools if you wanna get proper romantic with me,” James joked.
I chuckled, unsure of whether it actually had been a joke. He’d been…different today.
More and more lately, I got the impression that he and Jordan wouldn’t mind having fun with a third, but it had to be new to them, because they didn’t quite know how to act.
They weren’t outwardly flirty or direct—at least so far.
James appeared to be cranking things up, which was as frustrating as it was flattering.
And kinda funny too, ’cause he was on the sweet and awkward side of things.
The better I got to know the Hacketts, the more convinced I became that James had submissive tendencies. And I didn’t need that in my life. He was hella gorgeous, and I bet he’d be fun to shock and fuck with. Then Jordan… He had to be a Little. A bratty one. Possibly a switchy one too.
I showered cold, partly to keep my focus, partly to last longer in the sauna.
Nate moved on.
You’re allowed to have a little fun.
James had a great body. He had a second tattoo as well, I noticed.
Aside from the intricate mandala design that folded over his left side, stretching a bit onto his front and his back, he had a large piece around his right thigh.
Heavily shadowed designs blended together, much like my own sleeve.
Memories, maybe. Things that were important to him.
I knew he liked old cars and had an impressive record collection.
James listened to blues and country, and both genres were represented, with a cowboy hat leaning against a saxophone.
Some city signs too. Nashville, Memphis.
Nice cock too. Fuckable ass. Very fuckable.
I cleared my throat and turned off the water.
Perhaps it hadn’t been cold enough.
The sauna, though…
I took a slow breath so that it didn’t dry out my throat, and I exhaled slowly too.
Fuck me, this was just what I’d needed.
Leaning forward with my arms on my knees, I hung my head, eyes closed, and just let the heat flow through me. Tension rolled off my back, leaving me in waves, and loosened me up.
“You have a birthday coming up soon, don’t you?”
Quiet, boy.
“Yup.” In a couple of months.
Forty-six. How the fuck had that happened?
I wasn’t gonna think about it. Birthdays had been big in our family, but my forty-fifth had been awkward and forced, so I wasn’t planning on doing anything for this next one. Those days were over.
I had a cruise to look forward to instead. Next week, I’d get a few days in the sun with old and new friends from Mclean.
I needed that. If I was going to spend the rest of my life without Nate, I had to surround myself with friends and fun times.
Perspiration beaded across my body, and I absently rubbed against a sore spot on my neck.
“I wonder where the others are,” James mused.
I didn’t give a shit. This was my brand of team building, when everyone wasn’t up in one another’s business the whole day. We’d played basketball, we’d golfed, and now this. We’d see everyone at dinner.
I yawned and rolled my shoulders.
That night, I had the pleasure of discovering how fun James was when he’d had a few too many to drink.
Things had started out well enough. Theo and I each gave a short speech, thanking our employees for another year at Riley Construction he’d just been busy on his phone.
“Well, I did tell Dylan his new responsibility around here is to mow the lawn,” I admitted.
Ash gestured his mug in the general direction of the backyard. “That little patch of grass out there? If I were you, I’d add the upstairs bathroom—it’s mostly his hair products and body spray turning it into a biohazard anyway.”
I let out a chuckle, unable to help it. He had a point.
“What’re Hallie’s chores these days?” he asked.
“She doesn’t have any, because she’s fucking weird. She helps out voluntarily.”
What fourteen-year-old girl did that?
“That is weird.” He frowned. “Mark my words, she’s gonna be one of those type A personalities who can pick any college she wants.”
She sort of already was. More often than not, I had to remind her to rest. And I did do that. She had stressful years ahead of her; she needed to relax while she could.
Ash checked his watch. “All right, I’mma go wake up the little ones.”
I nodded. “I’ll make breakfast. But, uh—you mentioned something about your house earlier.”
“Oh, right.” He took a final swig of his coffee before setting it on the counter. “I’m on my last projects. I’ve got a big furniture delivery tomorrow, and Kingsley’s helping me repair whatever’s causing the light fixtures to be on the fritz upstairs. It’s driving me batshit.”
Oh God, he was almost done, in other words.
“I need a couple of weeks, and then we can sit down with the kids,” he finished.
I swallowed hard and forced myself to nod. “Okay.”
We’d reached the end. In two weeks, this whole game of pretend would be over.
Hallie and Dylan would officially move in to the rooms they’d already decorated at Ash’s house.
It would be their second home. And Micah and Lily would learn that Daddies were getting a divorce. They’d find out they were moving too.
“One more thing,” he said, turning around in the doorway. “I’ll fight you on the National Parks Passport.”
I blanched. So he was already thinking about the memories we’d divide.
It felt like something died inside me right there. No pain or anger tore through me. It just…died.
Maybe it was the last shred of hope.
“You can have it,” I muttered, lowering my gaze to my work planner again.
Fuck everything.
“They have the passports over here, love.”
I remember Dylan and Hallie showing zero interest in the National Parks Passport, but it’d felt like a new tradition starting to me. And it had. That little book had seen places. It’d been at the top of every packing list before a vacation.
“Okay, let’s get one,” you said with a smile. “Where do we get it stamped?”
“Somewhere around here. I’ll ask.”
Today, as I hold the little book in my hands, it’s never looked better. The edges of the blue cover are a bit tattered. Countless pages are filled with stamps and stickers. Small doodles in the margins from all the kids too.
Yet, so many pages waiting for us to visit.
A breath gusts out of me as I realize it’s a symbol of our life story.
Just like with the passport, it will be unfinished.