Chapter 18
RYDER
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks.
“What? Wait.”
“Congratulations. You’re the first client I’ve ever slept with, so I guess I really am a whore.” Her words enrage me.
“You’re not a fucking whore.” I jump out of bed and follow her out into the living room, naked as the day I was born. She turns on her heel, venom on her tongue.
“You don’t get to choose who I’m a whore for. The guy you saw me with that night was a nice man. He always treated me with respect and never asked anything else of me.”
“You see me the same as that guy? What we have is…”
“Is nothing. Just because you paid double for me doesn’t make you any different than that guy. At least he always made me feel good about myself. You’ve just proven that I’m the whore you proclaimed me to be.”
“You could’ve said no at any time. I didn’t force you to sleep with me, and I definitely didn’t expect it because I paid to spend the evening with you. You wouldn’t talk to me. This was the only way to get you in the same room. I didn’t intend for our evening to end this way.”
“You brought me to a hotel where you had a room ready and waiting.” She stomps to the door and out into the hallway, but I follow her, leaving my dignity behind.
“My floors are being refinished this week. I’m staying here while the new stain dries.”
“Bullshit. You’re a depraved sex pot, and I’m the one left feeling like trash.”
“I never wanted to make you feel bad about yourself. It was a knee-jerk reaction because I was jealous.”
“What?” She practically spits the words at me as she waits for the elevator doors to open.
“I had a bad experience with my last sub. I’m not immune to emotion, no matter how ‘depraved’ you consider me to be. I had my heart trampled, and when I saw you with him, I was back in that place. I’m sorry. Lying is my hard limit.”
“And yet you had no problem lying about who you are and why you hired me tonight. If anyone has a right to be pissed off here, it’s me. I’m clearly not the kind of woman you want, so none of it matters.”
“Is that what you think? I paid ten grand for a single conversation. To be in the same room as you. I’ve been fighting my dominant nature since the moment you moaned at the taste of my food. I’m trying to be fucking vanilla here. For you. Because I have feelings for you that go far beyond sex.”
The doors ping open, and suddenly, we’re not alone. And I’m buck naked. I quickly cover my junk, but I stand firm.
“Aspen, stay and talk to me, please.”
“There’s nothing more to say, Sir. You didn’t give me a chance to be part of your world, and now you’re not part of mine. I quit.”
There’s an old lady in the elevator who is aghast as Aspen enters, but she gives me a double-take as the doors close.
Well, it’s official. I didn’t think I could be more humiliated than the night I found out Tessa was cheating on me.
Turns out, sleeping with my ‘escort’ and damn near professing my love for her in my birthday suit in front of a bunch of strangers is worse.
Plenty of people have seen my dick at the club. It’s not a big deal. But rarely do I let anyone see my heart, but I tried for Aspen.
I love her. I’m in love with her.
I’m screwed.
I’ve never felt so dejected, but more than that, I betrayed her trust in me both inside and out of the kitchen.
I can’t let her quit. She’s worked too damn hard.
I have a few calls to make, but if she accepts nothing else from me in this life, I have to do this for her, even if she can never love me back.
I don’t give a fuck as I head back to the suite as a couple walks toward me, their eyes cast to the floor.
Tonight was supposed to be about answers and closure.
I’ve managed to do the complete opposite, but feeling her fall apart beneath me was transcendent.
I have had a lot of amazing sex in my life, but with her, she is so much more than a willing woman to fuck.
I want Aspen’s submission but not because I want to control her.
I want her to want me. To let me protect her and sate her every last desire in this world.
As I kick the door shut behind me, I go in search of my phone.
I tossed it aside at some point during the night when we were clawing each other’s clothes off.
When I find it, I pull up Nadia’s number.
“Hey, Ry. How are you?”
“Hey, Nad. Would you be able to send me over a new blank of the chef NDA for Venom at your earliest convenience? Actually, can you send the NDA for just talking about Venom too?”
“Sure, I can do it from my phone right now. Is everything okay?”
“Not really.”
“Why don’t you come by the club? Everyone is here having a few laughs.”
“I’m not the best company right now.”
“Even more reason to stop whatever you’re doing and come down. We’re all in the bar. Promise you’ll come.”
I definitely need a few drinks. Why not do it with friends? “Sure. I’ll be there shortly.”
“Awesome. See you soon.”
“Thanks, Nad.”
“Don’t thank me yet. You never know where the night might lead you, especially with this rabble.”
“Trust me, whatever goes down will be better than the night I’ve had so far.”
“We’ll have a drink ready and waiting.”
“Perfect.” I hang up the call and retrieve my clothes from the floor, something silver shimmering in the plush rug at the bottom of the bed.
I reach down to pick it up, realizing that it’s Aspen’s bracelet that her parents got her when she graduated from culinary school.
She’s probably going out of her mind looking for it.
When I’m dressed and a little more composed, I slip it in my pocket and head out. I’d rather sleep at the club than in here tonight with the scent of Aspen’s perfume on the sheets. I might be the biggest dick in the world to her right now, but I’m still going to make sure she gets her bracelet.
There’s a cool breeze in the air tonight as I walk the streets of Manhattan until I find myself standing outside her building.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had butterflies in the pit of my stomach over a woman, and I hesitate before entering the lobby and asking the concierge to call up to Aspen’s apartment.
“Can I ask your name?”
“Tell her it’s Ryder.”
He does as I ask, his face blanching at whatever choice words she has. “She has asked to be left alone, Mr…”
“Stevens. Please tell her I have her bracelet. I just want to return it.”
He relays my words, and suddenly, I’m back in grade school playing telephone.
“She’ll be down in a minute. Please, take a seat.”
Fuck. She won’t even let me up to her apartment. I guess I should’ve expected that. I pace the lobby, waiting to catch a glimpse of her in the elevator, and when the doors open, my heart lurches up into my throat.
It’s not her, but I’m assuming she’s down here for me by the murderous look on her face. She’s a tiny little thing, but she marches over to me like Evander Holyfield, ready to knock me out. “Damn your stupid, gorgeous face.”
Not what I was expecting.
I hold my hand out in greeting. “Hi. I’m Ryder.”
“I know who you are. You’re the reason my best friend is upstairs beating herself up over whatever happened tonight.” My heart sinks. I never wanted to hurt Aspen. I tried to stay away.
“Please, let me come up and talk to her.”
“No. You called her a whore at The Met. She’s been miserable ever since, and then she came home an hour ago, almost inconsolable. I’ll give her the fucking bracelet.”
“Can you at least pass on a message for me?”
“Depends.” She stands with her hands on her hips, her eyes boring into me. If looks could kill, I’d be six feet under by now.
“Tell her not to quit. I’ll bring the chef from Dulip to work with her. She doesn’t even need to be in the same room as me.”
“She quit? What the fuck happened? She’s been dying to work with you since she took the job waitressing. You’ve really pissed her off if she was willing to quit.”
I run my hands through my hair, pacing the lobby again. “I didn’t… I wasn’t… she drives me crazy. I don’t sleep with staff. I do not fall in love. She…”
“You’re in love with her? Does she know that?”
“I as good as told her tonight.”
“But did you actually say the words?”
“No, and after tonight, she can’t know. She made her feelings very clear. I mean it. Don’t tell her.”
“But I’m right, aren’t I?”
I scrub my hand over the stubble on my jaw before fishing the bracelet from my pocket and handing it to her. “Just tell her I’m sorry, and that she should go to work as normal on Monday night. I won’t be there.”
If she didn’t have such an unforgiving furrow in her brow, Aspen’s friend could be quite lovely.
“I’ll do what I can, but at some point, you two need to work this out.”
“Just make sure she knows she can go to work without having to deal with me.”
“I will, but she wanted to learn from you.”
“And I’d still love to be the one to help her achieve her goals, but I don’t think she’ll even want to be in the same room with me after the way we left things tonight.”
Finally, there’s a smidgen of a smile on this woman’s face. “I’m Jude, the overbearing best friend. I’m sorry for being a bitch, but my girl is always so self-assured. I don’t like seeing her this way, questioning her self-worth.”
“I never wanted that for her. Tonight was a chance to answer some questions and find closure regarding my last relationship. Aspen lied to me.”
“Did she, though? You never asked what she does outside of your restaurant.”
“It just took me off guard. I needed some time to process, and she doesn’t want to listen.”
“Then maybe it’s best that you go your separate ways.”
“She is a phenomenal chef. She has what it takes to be successful in this business. Tell her to contact me if she wants to reconsider.”
“I will.”
“Thanks.” I shove my hands in my pockets and turn on my heel. Before I reach the lobby doors, Jude shouts after me.
“Why should she give you a second chance?” she asks with a mischievous grin.
“She shouldn’t.”