Chapter 18 #2
Telling Leonard about Venom wasn’t something I ever wanted to do. He’s a hell of a chef, but he is a judgmental asshole. He reacted as expected, ready to scream it from the rooftops until I reminded him of the NDA I’d just had him sign.
He’s not an ideal choice for Venom, or for Aspen, but I blew my chance with her. I still want her to take over as head chef for the club, so hopefully she finds his tutelage helpful. I’ve been throwing myself into running the kitchen back at Dulip, losing myself in my first love. Food.
I’ve pulled up her name on my phone a million times over the past few weeks, but I remind myself how badly I hurt her and shove my phone back in my pocket.
Flex has been messaging me about setting up a breath-play masterclass on level 3 at the club, but I’ve ghosted everyone while I wallow in self-pity.
I’ve done it in the past, but I don’t have a submissive right now, so finding a willing sub for the evening just seems hollow.
I can’t indulge with the one woman I want, so what’s the point?
I promised myself I would go to the club tonight and tell Flex to find someone else to do the masterclass. I’m sure Pierce or Logan could give sufficient lessons. It’s not either of their preferences, but they have trained plenty of subs in their time.
The restaurant was buzzing tonight, but as much as I enjoyed the frenzy of dinner service, it just doesn’t feel the same without Aspen. I enjoyed teaching and guiding her toward what I know will be a bright future.
As I come to a stop outside Venom, I wonder if I just missed her. The restaurant closed forty-five minutes ago. I greet the security guard in the lobby as usual before heading up to the bar.
I hear the guys before I see them, laughing so loud it makes me smile, something I haven’t done lately.
“Ryder!” They shout in unison at the sight of me.
This is exactly what I need. I signal to Eli for a drink and stride over to see my friends.
Everyone is in tonight. Dalton has Nadia perched on his knee as they joke around with Pierce and Freya.
Helena drapes her arms over Flex’s shoulders, whispering something in his ear that makes him smile.
Ford has his submissive sitting in the position at his side.
I grab a seat from the next table and pull up beside Flex.
“Hey, bro. I thought you’d forgotten where we are.”
Eli sets a Scotch neat in front of me. “Hey, Ry. Long time no see.”
“Yeah. How’s the restaurant doing?” Eli handles all the alcohol purchases for Rooftop, so I know he keeps tabs on how it’s running.
“Amazing, but don’t take my word for it. Aspen is over there. She’s been a total rockstar.” I look to the other end of the bar where Aspen sits nursing a drink.
“Does she come down here often?”
“Yeah, for the past few weeks, she comes down after closing Rooftop.”
“She talking to anyone?”
“Me mostly. She was chatting with Matteo the other night. I’m sure she’d love to say hi.
” She obviously hasn’t shared anything personal if Eli thinks she’d spit on me if I were on fire.
Every cell in my body wants to go over there and stake my nonexistent claim, but I’ve already had one scene in the bar this year, and I don’t need another.
“No one wants to unwind with their boss. Just put her drinks on my tab.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Thanks, Eli. Can I get another drink when you have a minute?”
“Sure thing.”
I drain my glass, forcing myself to look anywhere but at Aspen. Flex never misses a thing in this place. He was trained to notice everything, and he’s kept that skill to an annoying level.
“You’re seriously not going to go and talk to her?”
“Nope. I said I’d leave her alone, so I am.”
“Are you going to tell me what the fuck happened?”
“Not here. Not now. It doesn’t even matter. Whatever we had going is well and truly over.”
“She’s been coming down here looking for you.” My pulse quickens.
“Has she said that, or are you assuming?”
“Anyone with eyes can tell. She’s a beautiful woman. There have been a few Doms trying to talk to her, but she doesn’t want anything to do with them.”
“Because she’s not a fucking submissive, Flex. That’s half the problem. At this point, I doubt she’d even give me the time of day.”
He leans in, quiet enough not to involve the entire table in our conversation. “And the other half of the problem?”
“We can talk about it later. In private.”
“Fair enough. You know I’ve always got your back, bro. And for what it’s worth, that girl is a submissive waiting to be trained.”
“We’ll agree to disagree on that.”
“Fine. So, you need me to get a sub on board for the masterclass?”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. You should have Pierce or Logan do the class. I’m not in the right headspace. Breath play is intimate. It requires the utmost trust. I don’t feel confident in that right now.”
“It’s a demonstration. There are plenty of subs in here who would gladly submit to you for a night.”
Genevieve comes sashaying into the bar, looking every inch the siren Dominatrix. “Hey, handsome. It’s been a while. Are you finally here to claim that gorgeous woman of yours?”
“Hey, Viv. She’s not mine.”
“You could have fooled me.”
“More fool me.”
“What?”
“Nothing. I’m just here to get Flex to find someone else to do the breath-play masterclass next week.”
“No,” she protests. “You’re the best. You have to do it. Why are you pulling out?”
“Because I’m not comfortable finding a sub for the class.”
“Fine. You can do it to me. It’s not like we’re going to have sex or anything. I understand breath play, and I happen to enjoy it, so I’m the perfect subject.”
Flex and Helena look to Viv with heat in their eyes. Oh, they’re going to have a great time on the training floor.
“You’re not a sub.”
“Exactly. Whatever has you hesitating about a sub, you don’t need to worry about it with me. You can choke me for all to see, and then I’ll take my sub back to my private room to finish what you started.”
Viv is a great friend, and I’d be lying if I said this doesn’t make it easier for me to do the demonstration.
“Problem solved.” Flex smirks.
“I don’t know.” I guess it’s a viable alternative, but my eyes can’t help straying to the last woman whose neck I wrapped my hand around. I’m not prepared for the gaze staring back at me. My heart lurches up into my throat, and my stomach drops.
Eli is talking to her, but even as she answers, her eyes are on me. The firm set of her lips and the furrow of her brow tell me she’s not happy to see me. She downs her drink, makes her excuses, and heads for the door. And I let her.
“What are you waiting for?” Dalton interjects. All eyes are on me, the entire table witnessing the fact that I’m a pussy.
“Trust me. She doesn’t want me to go after her.”
“Bullshit.”
“If you’d heard our last conversation, you’d understand.”
“Then go and fix it. She’s great, and if I’ve learned anything about women, they don’t look at you with such vitriol unless they actually give a flying fuck. That woman most definitely gives a shit.”
“Fuck.”
I jump out of my chair and follow Aspen over to the elevator, scared to reach out and touch her because I know I won’t be able to stop touching her.
“Hey, Aspen. Can we talk?”
“We’ve said enough.” She keeps her eyes cast down.
“I’m glad you decided not to quit. I hope Leonard is helping you, although you’re already more intuitive than he is in the kitchen.”
“It’s fine. I wanted to learn from you.”
“Aspen.”
“I get it. We never should have blurred the lines. I knew it was a bad idea, but I let it happen anyway because I…” She trails off.
“I’m sorry. I failed as a mentor and as a fucking decent guy. If I could take it all back, I would. I fucking miss you, baby girl.”
“Don’t call me that.” It hits like a dagger straight through my heart.
“My apologies, Aspen.”
She hesitates as the doors to the elevator ping open. “Can you come back?”
“What?”
“To Rooftop. I want my mentor back, and maybe it’s totally selfish of me.”
“It’s not.”
“I want to learn from the best. I love Leonard, but he’s not the best. You are.” If I could sprout wings right now, I’d soar. I’ve really fucking missed her. Everything about her.
“I’ll make it happen.”
She steps into the elevator, turning to face me. “I’ve missed you too.” The doors close, leaving me slack-jawed by her admission. I’m sure she only means it in relation to the kitchen, but I’ll take anything I can get.
I heave a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding since the night she walked away from me, and it fucking hurts.
I’m like a junkie getting my first hit in too long, and I’m right back where I swore I’d never be.
She lied to me, if only by omission, and I can’t lose sight of that.
If only because it’s better for her in the long run.
Now, I need to figure out how to work with Aspen.