Chapter 19 #2
“I get it. When my best friend, Nadia, brought me here, I was shocked to say the least. It’s such a beautiful bar, though. I enjoy coming to hang out with everyone.”
“I wasn’t planning to come tonight. I just sort of found myself downstairs.”
“I’m starting to learn about the lifestyle. I don’t know if it’s something I’ll pursue, but I kind of want to know more.”
“I’m a little… well, a lot actually… intimidated. What if I can’t be what he needs?”
“Who?” Genevieve utters. “Ry?”
I stammer over my words. “I… he wouldn’t want… I just mean any man in here. A Dominant wouldn’t want me.”
“For a start, being feisty is one of the hallmarks of being a submissive. Any Dom in here would salivate at the thought of taming such a beauty. And as for Ry, that boy has been miserable lately, and I get the impression it’s because he has feelings for you.”
“I doubt that. We’ve barely spoken since he came back to the restaurant.”
“Ignore him and his feelings for a moment,” Jenna says with such confidence. “Do you have feelings for him?”
“Yes. No. He hurt me. I would have given myself freely. I did. And in the end, it broke me.”
Jenna nods in understanding. We all have those relationships that take a piece of our soul. Ryder is that for me.
“And does he know how you feel?” Genevieve implores me with a gentle strength I admire.
“Not in great detail. He knows that he hurt me, and I hurt him. I didn’t mean to, but I did it anyway. He can’t forgive that, and I’m not sure if I could forgive him for his part in all this.”
“There’s something I need to tell you, Aspen. Jenna came tonight so she can watch a training session up on the third floor.”
“Really? Could I come?” I’m intrigued. Ryder would probably freak if he found out.
“There’s more.” I don’t know this woman, but her tone tells me I’m not going to like what comes out of her mouth next. “Ryder is doing a demonstration.”
“Oh.”
“Breath play.”
My stomach drops at the thought of him touching another woman.
“He’s demonstrating on me.” Fuck. Of course, he would move on. She’s more beautiful than I could ever hope to be. I know I’m pretty, but she oozes sex from every pore.
“I’m going to go.” I move to stand, but she entreats me not to.
“He couldn’t bear to engage with a submissive, so I offered as a friend. As a fellow Domme. There’s nothing going on between us.”
“You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“Did you hear me? He can’t take another sub. Why do you think that is?”
“I don’t know.”
“Because of you. He’s waiting for you, whether you want him to or not.”
“I can’t stay.” My pulse is racing as my heart hammers in my chest.
“I can’t stop you, but if there’s even a small chance that you want to know more about our lifestyle, and you want it to be with Ry, please stay.”
“You can sit with me, Aspen,” Jenna offers with a soft smile. “I’m new to all of this, too, and to be honest, I’m a bit nervous. It would be great to have a new friend up there with me.”
Am I really going to do this? I can tell myself all I want that I ended up here by chance this evening, but in truth, on some level, I wanted to come.
Working the kitchen with Ryder has been torture, and I’m still so angry at him, but I can’t deny that he’s gotten under my skin. He’s on my mind every waking minute.
I’m so angry that he’s taking my autonomy away as an escort, but I love that he’s protective enough to care. I don’t know if there can be a balance in this lifestyle, but part of me—a tiny sliver—wants to see if it’s possible.
“I haven’t been outside of this bar. I don’t know what to expect. Ryder never showed me around.”
“Would you like a quick walkthrough?” Genevieve offers.
“If you have time.”
“Follow me.”
Jenna links her arm through mine. “We’ll do it together.”
“Thank you.” As Genevieve walks us through the luxurious bar area, she starts explaining.
“Any sexual activity and nudity are strictly prohibited in the bar. It’s the safest place to spend time if you don’t want to see everything.”
Jenna and I follow her down a dark hallway with doors on either side each marked with innocuous gold numbers.
“This is the private hall. All Dominants have their own playroom. For all intents and purposes, they are our bedrooms. We have all of the furniture we like to use, equipment, and toys. It’s where we can both punish and pleasure in private.”
She stops outside door number six, swipes a keycard before opening it, and ushers us inside.
My breath catches at the sights and smells of this decadence. There’s a massive bed with crisp white bedding—not what I expected. There is a big wooden cross of some sort on the adjacent wall with chains in each corner.
“What’s that?”
“It’s a St. Andrew’s cross. I shackle my submissive to it for punishment.” I audibly gulp. Punishment. Is that what Ryder does to women? “Don’t worry, Aspen, they enjoy it.”
“I don’t understand. Why would someone want to be punished?”
“Because the reward after is so much sweeter. There’s a fine line between pain and pleasure. It is my duty as a Mistress to adhere to the boundaries set by any submissive in my care.”
“So, they can say they don’t like something?”
Jenna wanders over to a wall full of canes, whips, and other stuff I’ve never seen before, trailing her fingers across them.
“Did I say you could touch anything, Jenna?”
“No, ma’am.”
“You will both address me as Mistress when in my room. Understood?”
“Yes, Mistress,” we say in unison.
She returns her attention to Jenna. “If you were my submissive, you’d be punished for that.”
“What would you do?” she says with a shyness that betrays her air of confidence.
“Probably use that short crop on your ass. You’d turn a pretty shade of pink with ten lashes.”
A thrill courses through me at the thought of it, butterflies taking flight in the pit of my stomach. “That sounds…”
“Hot.” Jenna laughs.
“Is that weird?” I ask, knowing she’s in the same boat as me. Vanilla as hell. Maybe.
“Not at all.” Genevieve strides across the room with effortless grace, taking the crop in her hand. “Would you like to feel it on your hand?”
“Sure.” I’ve come this far. After all, it’s just my hand.
“Hold your hands out, palms up. Both of you.” I do as I’m told without question, which only raises a million questions in my mind.
The snap of the crop breaks the silence, the bite of leather stinging my hands, and yet I find myself exhilarated by it.
“Oh, you enjoyed that. I can see it in your eyes. Now, imagine how delicious that would feel on your sweet little cunt.” I gasp.
“Is that what you do? To women or to men? Do they like getting their junk whipped?”
Jenna lets out a laugh. I guess I’m asking a stupid question, but Genevieve indulges me.
“I’m attracted to men and women, so yes, I punish both.
As for my male sub’s cock, I don’t whip it.
Women are the superior sex when it comes to pain tolerance.
It’s not pleasurable for a man to have his cock whipped.
It is pleasurable for a woman. If you spread your legs and let me use this crop on you…
” she says as she runs it through her fingers, “… you’d be wet for it. ”
“I’ll do it,” Jenna declares, like Katniss, volunteering as tribute.
Genevieve’s gaze snaps to hers with heat in her eyes. “As delectable as that sounds, Jenna, I have a demonstration to participate in. Would you like to join us, Aspen?”
Do I want to see Ryder in his element, with another woman?
“I don’t know if I can see Ryder with you.”
She tosses the crop on the bed and takes my hands in hers, entreating me to look at her. “Ryder and I are just friends. We’ve never been anything else. I’m simply helping a friend in their masterclass. Don’t you want to see what he likes? I mean, if you have feelings for him.”
“He might not want me there.”
“I doubt that, but it’s your decision to make. Everything that happens within the walls of this club is about consent. It is the cornerstone of our lifestyle.”
“Okay. I would like to come.”
“Yay!” Jenna links her arm through mine and beams at Genevieve. “Lead the way, Mistress.”
A thrill courses through me, crashing headfirst into the dread that is vying for dominance in the pit of my stomach.