Chapter 27 #2
He caresses my arm before lifting it back to his lips.
“You could never. I will be proud to let everyone in that club know that you’re mine.
When you fall apart in release, you are so fucking beautiful.
This…” he says, as he continues to caress me with his mouth, “… only makes me love you more. Trust me, everyone will want to watch you when they see what’s mine. Don’t ever forget it. You. Are. Mine.”
I relax into his touch as he cups my breasts before sliding his hand down my front and under the waistband of my leggings. Gasping as his fingers find my clit, I can’t take my eyes off his in the mirror.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you. Your sweet little cunt is ready for me. Tell me, baby girl, have you missed my touch?”
“Yes, Sir.” I pant, my hips starting to move against his hand.
“Good girl. Now, I want you to keep your eyes on me as I bring you to orgasm. See the obsession in my eyes as you give yourself to me.” His lips fall to my neck, kissing that spot behind my ear that drives me wild.
When I close my eyes to the sensation, he halts.
“Eyes on me, baby girl.”
I do as I’m told, my body heating under his touch. Sensation builds as I struggle to keep my gaze on his. But what I see there is raw, animalistic desire. He wants me. Still. After everything I’ve done over the past few months.
“Ry. Sir… I’m so close.”
“Come for me like a good girl, Aspen.” His touch is light but firm, teasing me to the edge as I hold his gaze. “Let me see you come.”
I crash over the edge, the sight of us in the mirror sending me headlong into the most intense orgasm. Ryder holds me tightly against his chest, his growing erection at my back.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” His breath is labored as he fights the urge to fuck me. His eyes darken as he turns me to face him. “I will never get enough of you.”
“I love you, Ry.” He heaves a sigh of relief as he pulls me into his arms, his lips crashing down on mine in a fervent kiss. He doesn’t push it any further, hesitant, like he thinks I might break.
He stops before he can find release, insisting that he feed me, even when I’m rubbing against his erection.
“One step at a time.”
We spend the rest of the evening tangled in each other’s arms, talking for hours as we reconnect. I’ve missed this more than anything else—to feel his love in a tangible way.
I believe him when he says that he sees my scars as beautiful because of what they represent. That night was terrifying, but I was more scared of losing Ry than I was about losing my own life. I would do it a thousand times over. I can’t believe I put that in jeopardy by shutting him out.
For the first night in months, I fall asleep wrapped in his loving arms, drinking him in—his scent, the warmth of his skin, and the taut muscles of his chest as his heartbeat soothes the raw emotion swirling inside me.
I will never let him go again.
Tonight is my first night back in the kitchen at Rooftop, and I’m excited to be back at Venom, but nerves are wracking my entire body as I set foot in the lobby. The security guard gives me a small smile as I hand over my Venom card—Sleek black metal with a V emblazoned on the front.
“It’s lovely to see you again, Ms. Struthers. Welcome back.”
“Thank you.” With Ryder’s hand in mine, we head for the elevators.
“Breathe, baby girl. Everyone is excited to have you back. The kitchen isn’t the same without you.”
“I know this isn’t Dulip, but the last time I was in a kitchen with you was the night of the fire. I’m scared that I’ll freak out and embarrass myself.”
He cups my face in his hands, entreating me to look up at him. “PTSD isn’t something to be embarrassed about. We survived something pretty terrible. I’d be surprised if you weren’t a little apprehensive tonight.”
“You’ve been fine.”
“The first time I came here after that night, I was bricking it. You didn’t witness it but ask any of the staff. I was like a deer caught in the headlights at the smallest crack and pop of the burners.”
“Really?”
“I wouldn’t lie to you, Aspen. It took me a week to feel anywhere close to normal, and Venom is somewhere I feel at home. It was hard, so I know the coming days are going to be challenging for you, but I’m so fucking proud of you. You come to me if you feel overwhelmed.”
“Okay.”
“I’m just going to let you know, if I feel you need it, I will have you go down to our private room and regroup.”
I’m about to protest, but it dies on my lips. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good girl,” he says as he dips in and kisses the tip of my nose. “Now, get to work.”
He takes my hand in his as he leads me into the kitchen. My heart starts hammering in my chest, the sound of my pulse whooshing in my ear in a cacophony of terror. I’m frozen to the spot, the rapid rise and fall of my chest making me close to hyperventilating.
“I don’t think I can do this.” I grip his hand as if it were a lifeline in the choppy high seas of my turmoil.
“I’ve got you, baby girl. Slow your breathing and focus on the sound of my voice.” He quickly turns to the staff. “Everyone out. We need a minute.”
Without a word, they file out into the restaurant to give us some privacy, but I don’t think that’s going to help. Panic rises in my chest.
Ryder takes my hands in his, rubbing gentle circles with his thumbs. “Take a deep breath. You’re safe. This isn’t Dulip. John is behind bars. I’m here with you every step of the way.”
“I… I…” I can’t breathe.
“In… out… in… out. Eyes on me, Aspen.” My eyes snap to his as I attempt to block out the world around me. I know what I need, but I feel silly asking for it.
“Sir.” It’s all he needs to understand my current state.
“On your knees. Hands in your lap.” I do as he asks without question. He slips his fingers under my chin, coaxing me to look up at him. Serenity washes over me when I’m in this position for him. Something I thought I would never say. “Talk to me.”
“I’m afraid.”
“What scares you?”
“The burners. What if they get out of hand?” He moves to the other side of the room, grabbing one of the fire extinguishers we keep in the kitchen.
“We will keep this right next to the burners. What else?”
“I’m scared of having a panic attack in front of everyone.”
“I will be at your side the entire time. If you feel one coming, use your safeword. If I hear ‘ruby,’ then I will get you out of here for a few minutes. Leonard will be here to make sure the kitchen is well looked after if we need to leave.”
“I’m sad that everyone will see my scars.”
“Look at me, Aspen.” I meet his gaze.
“Every single person in here thinks you are a hero. And they’re right.
You saved a life. Mine. You are a Valkyrie.
Wild and beautiful. It’s not everyone else that you need to be afraid of.
You only have yourself to contend with. You have to be able to look in the mirror and know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are loved, you are strong, and you are beautiful.
I know it’s something you struggled with before the fire, but it’s so important now.
I want you to love yourself the way I do.
Rest easy in the knowledge that I am your Dom, and I will always be yours, just as you will always be mine. I will protect you with my life.”
My breathing evens out as I take slow, measured breaths. I can do this.
“Understood?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Do you need more time?” I reach my hand up to him, letting him pull me to my feet.
“No. I just need to kiss my boyfriend before I make this kitchen my bitch.”
“There’s my little firecracker!” He fists his hands in my hair, his lips crashing down on mine with a ferocity that quiets something inside me. A peace that calms me.
When Ryder ushers everyone back in, each member of staff stops to tell me how glad they are that I’m here. It warms my heart, and I steel myself to fire up the burners for a busy night ahead.
I don’t berate myself for flinching as the first flames spark to life, Ryder’s hand resting on the small of my back.
“You’ve got this, baby girl.” I close my eyes, letting the sounds of the kitchen wash over me. This is what I love. It’s what I’ve worked toward my whole life. I won’t let some crazed asshole take this from me.
“I know.”