Chapter 26
Torrents of rain lashed Rick as he strode towards the barn, but he didn’t care. Beth didn’t believe him. Given her history, it wasn’t surprising.
Grace stood in the open doorway, pale and frightened, staring out at the activity at the farmhouse. David’s bear was tucked under one of her arms and Paddy sat at her feet. She scurried over to Rick and looped her free arm around his leg, pressing her face into his thigh.
Poor kid. None of this is her fault.
Tamping down his hurt and frustration, Rick smiled.
‘Don’t worry, Grace, everything’s fine. Your mum will come and get you soon.’
Paddy sprang onto hind legs to paw at Rick’s other thigh. The double assault nearly knocked him clean off his feet. ‘Steady on, you guys, I’m all smoky and covered in dirt.’
‘Yeah. You smell baaaaad.’ Grace stepped back, her face scrunched up. ‘Pooey!’
Rick laughed. ‘Did you see the fire engines?’
‘I saw two.’ Grace bounced on the balls of her feet and brandished two fingers at him in what would usually be considered a very dubious gesture.
Relieved to see some colour back in her cheeks, he ruffled her curls and gave the bear’s ear a little tug. ‘I see you’ve met Boo. He came all the way from London with me.’
‘Paddy likes him. Don’t you, Paddy?’
Paddy fussed at Rick’s shoelaces.
‘I’m glad. Boo needs a friend. He misses David.’
Grace opened her mouth and then closed it again.
‘Want to know who David is?’ asked Rick.
Grace nodded, her eyes round.
‘He’s my little boy, although he’s a lot bigger than you.’ Rick ambled over to the sofa and sank onto the cushions. ‘David and Boo used to play computer games together. Want to try?’
He leaned over to the ZX console and inserted a simple game. A bright, jingly tune rippled through the air. ‘Here. Watch that snowball roll down the hill and then press this button to make your penguin jump over it.’ Grace clambered onto the sofa and settled Boo on her lap. Paddy whined and parked his bottom on Rick’s foot. For a small dog, he was surprisingly hefty. Rick manipulated the controller and the penguin jumped.
Grace cackled with delight. ‘Can I try?’
‘Sure.’ He handed over the controls just as his mobile rang.
Oops, I forgot to dismantle that.
Grace didn’t take her eyes from the screen. ‘Answer the phone, Rick.’ She squealed as her penguin was joined by a seal and both little figures jumped in tandem.
Rick struggled from the cushions, eased his foot out from underneath Paddy’s bottom and did as he was told. ‘Hi.’
‘Rick. Hi. Mark Freeman here again. We spoke before.’
‘Hi, Mark.’
‘We have a problem. Did you know your professional indemnity insurance only covers you for NHS work?’
‘Yes, that’s right. I don’t do private work, so I’ve never needed the extra cover.’
‘Right. Here’s the problem. Dean was never officially registered with your NHS practice.’
‘I know. The paperwork went missing before we could put him on the system.’
‘Unfortunately, if he’s not on your system, he doesn’t technically count as one of your NHS patients. Ergo, he has to be considered a private patient and therefore…’
Rick’s stomach felt as if someone had stabbed holes in it with a red-hot poker. ‘Are you saying that I’m not covered for the court case?’
‘I’m sorry. Yes I am.’
Rick’s tongue felt too large for his mouth. ‘Tell me you’re kidding.’
‘I wish I was. Unfortunately, it’s not my decision.’
‘But I don’t… I can’t… I… What do I do?’
‘As a gesture of good will, we can continue to provide you with medical legal advice while the case is ongoing. And I promise, I’ll do my damnedest to win for you. But if you lose, the company won’t foot the bill for the damages. Whatever the settlement is, you’ll have to pay it.’
‘With what?’ Rick’s head was spinning.
Silence.
‘I’ll lose everything, won’t I?’ asked Rick, his voice barely louder than a whisper.
‘That’s very possible,’ Mark said.
‘And I won’t be able to practice medicine again either, will I?’
‘Put it this way, I couldn’t possibly say what losing such a costly case will do to your insurance premiums. Look, let’s not cross that bridge right now.’
Rick snorted, aware that Mark was trying to let him down lightly. The career he’d given his life to was finished. He’d have to start again doing something else. No doubt at the bottom of the ladder. He pulled his attention back to Mark, who was still talking.
‘In some ways, given that any damages awarded will be specifically for Dean’s ongoing care, you’d be better off if Dean was dead.’
‘Don’t say that. He doesn’t deserve that.’ Dean’s face swam to the front of Rick’s mind.
He is so young. He should have his whole life ahead of him.
‘I’m only being realistic. It’s harsh, I agree, but it might be kinder for him to die now, rather than hang on for years.’
‘No. He’s alive,’ said Rick. ‘And where there’s life, there’s hope.’
‘If you say so.’
‘Perhaps I should come back to London. If I could see him, I—’
‘Absolutely not. I’m serious, Rick. If you do that, I can’t represent you.’
‘But—’
‘No. Whatever you’re doing to stay out of the papers, keep doing it. Cora Diamond is stirring up plenty of public animosity towards you. Don’t give her any more ammunition. Keep your head down and don’t pay any attention to any of the nonsense being spouted on the Find Dr Death Podcast .’
‘The what?’
‘I said ignore it. Just don’t give them any clues as to your whereabouts. Watch your emails for updates from me. You’ll have to surface for the first court appearance – you can’t afford to miss that. We’ll just have to take it from there.’
Rick stared at the phone after Mark rang off, feeling as if someone had just kicked both legs out from under him. He searched up the Find Dr Death Podcast and within seconds wished he hadn’t. Ignoring the brash music from the computer game and Grace cheering on her growing collection of bouncy ice-bound creatures, he pulled his phone to pieces again and tucked it back in the kitchen drawer.
In more than two decades as a family GP, he had seen senseless tragedies like Dean’s unfold before. They had all stayed with him. Every single one. A teenager who had got carried away at a pool party and dived into the shallow end by mistake. Two sixth-formers on holiday in Cornwall celebrating exam results by tombstoning off the cliffs to impress their friends when the tide wasn’t high enough. Students at fresher’s parties taking tablets offered by strangers. All young people with promising futures who had made impulsive, life-changing decisions that spun them off the rails into oblivion. Every single time, they hurt not only themselves but the people around them.
It wasn’t possible to work within a community, as Rick did, and not see the fallout. He had supported countless broken families and shattered friendship groups over the years. But this time, he couldn’t. This time, everyone thought he was the cause of the problem and he was helpless to do anything but ride this terrible roller coaster right to the bitter end.
A knock at the door pulled him back from a precipice of regret. Beth stood on the doorstep, soaked to the skin, her hair plastered to her head. The memory of how good it had felt to hold her close wandered through his mind.
‘I’m sorry I implied that you started the fire,’ she murmured. ‘It wasn’t smoking at all. It was Daisy.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that, but, like I said, it was a couple of teenagers smoking, not me.’
She nodded, clearly preoccupied. ‘Now I have to go and have a really difficult conversation with Daisy and I don’t know what to say.’
‘For what it’s worth, I suggest you be honest. Try to be as calm and rational as you can, but tell her how you feel.’ His arms itched to reach for her, to find a way to ease her sorrow, but he couldn’t let himself. After the conversation he had just had with Mark, all Rick could offer was debt and notoriety. She didn’t deserve that.
Maybe it’s better to let her think I’m some weed-obsessed loser.
A heavy silence settled between them until a loud flourish of music rang out from the television and Grace squealed, ‘No waaaay! A killer whale just ate my penguin.’ She looked up and spotted Beth. ‘Mummy, come and look at this.’
Beth scooped Grace into her arms. ‘You were very brave coming to get Rick earlier. Did you know you saved the day? I’m so proud of you.’
‘Muuum. You’re all dirty and smelly.’
‘I know. Sorry.’ Beth gave Boo a gentle poke with one finger. ‘Who’s this you’ve got?’
Grace tucked the scruffy one-eyed bear further under her arm and set her mouth in a stubborn line. ‘Boo is missing David, so he’s playing with me and Paddy.’
‘David?’
‘Rick’s little boy.’
‘Oh! That’s nice. But it’s time to go now, so better put him down.’
‘No, Mummy, pleeeease, I don’t want to.’
Beth raised apologetic eyes to Rick.
He shook his head. ‘It’s fine. She can borrow Boo for a bit. David won’t miss him.’
‘That’s kind. Thank you. Did you hear that, Grace? Boo can come with us to check on the others.’
The little girl wiped tears from her face. ‘Can we come and play penguins again, too?’
‘We’ll see. Come along. Here, I brought your coat. It’s raining.’ After helping Grace into a waterproof, Beth glanced at Rick, her eyes wide and sombre. ‘Thank you, Rick. I don’t know what we’d have done without you today.’
He watched the two of them leave, his heart heavy. His warrior queen looked as if she carried the whole universe on her shoulders. A desperate need to protect her washed over him and he vowed that, in the short time he had before the court case, he would do everything he could to help. He wanted more than anything to be with her, but that couldn’t be. When his life imploded, as it surely would, and very soon, he’d be damned if he’d take her down, too.