Chapter 27
After a long, hot shower, Beth ran a brush though her wet hair as her thoughts chased themselves in circles around her head. Rick had a son. A little boy called David. A son who no doubt had a mother. She threw the brush aside, quashing down the jealousy uncoiling in her belly.
Don’t be silly. A good-looking fella like Rick is bound to either be attached or have a dating history. There’d be something seriously wrong if he didn’t.
She sighed. He’d given no indication that he was attached to someone. Either way, she was a fool to read too much into one hug given in a moment of stress. No matter how delicious it had been. Her hormones jumped up and down and insisted it was not just any old hug. After all, she’d actually leaned on him and he’d let her. That had to mean something.
No. Don’t go there.
She had to focus on the kids and the house and not get distracted. She pulled a soft blue sweater on over her jeans and went downstairs, the heavy drum of rain on the roof masking her footsteps. A bitter scorched wood smell hung in the air and – even though she’d scrubbed herself thoroughly, adding a generous squirt from her one remaining bottle of perfume – she was convinced she still reeked of smoke.
She paused at the lounge door to check on Grace, who was busy introducing Boo to the delights of Disney’s Frozen . Moving on to the kitchen, she checked the bucket. No drips so far.
Daisy sat at the kitchen table, red-eyed, a pile of soggy tissues before her. Rose sat next to her. Jack stood at the window, hands in his pockets, his back to the room. He stared through thick ropes of water streaming down the window at a thin trail of smoke that continued to rise from the remains of the shed.
‘Hi, Beth!’ Rose poured a mug of tea from the pot on the table and nudged it in Beth’s direction.
Beth sank onto a chair. A thick silence descended that she had no idea how to break.
Daisy sniffed and whispered. ‘I’m sorry, Beth. Please believe me.’
The quiver in her voice tugged at Beth’s heart and she watched Daisy crumple into a heap of heart-wrenching sobs, runny mascara and snot. It was impossible not to feel her pain. Beth lurched to her feet, rounded the table and wrapped her arms around the girl and held her tight. For once, Daisy didn’t push her away.
‘I know you’re sorry, baby,’ Beth shushed. ‘I know. I’m sorry, too.’
‘Mummy! Daisy is not a baby.’ The outraged cry from the door made everyone look. Grace stood there, staring, open-jawed, Boo clutched to her chest.
Beth’s laugh held more than a tinge of hysteria. ‘Whether you like it or not, Grace Louise Hope, I am the mother around here and if I say you’re my babies, then you’re my babies. So, get used to it.’
Grace’s mouth shut with a snap. She looked from Beth to each of her siblings in turn. ‘Whatever,’ she huffed and stomped off, slamming the door.
Jack sloped over to sit at the table. ‘She gets more like Daisy every day.’
Daisy hiccupped.
Beth released her and sat back down. ‘What were you doing, Daisy?’
Daisy released a juddering sigh. ‘I was making something.’
‘With that soldering thingy?’
Daisy nodded and grabbed a fresh tissue from the box. ‘I got this kit off the internet. It draws patterns on wood. It’s epic… well, it was, until it caught fire. I was making a nameplate for the door. You said you wanted one when you were fixing the bell the other day.’
Beth furrowed her brow. ‘Here’s the thing, Daisy. Why would you suddenly decide to make me something? You’ve never given me anything before.’
‘Except a hard time,’ snorted Jack.
Beth shot him a sideways glare. ‘Not helping, Jack.’
Daisy sniffed. ‘I thought I could show it to that lady in the craft shop. I thought it might prove I was crafty and…’
‘And burn down the shed and nearly kill us all,’ said Jack. ‘Way to go, Dais.’
‘Jack! Stop it,’ admonished Beth.
He threw his hands up, all hurt innocence. ‘Why’re you getting cross with me?’
‘I mean it, Jack. If you can’t be supportive, keep your trap shut.’
‘Fine!’ He sank down in his chair and stared at the knotty grain of the tabletop.
Daisy’s eyes shimmered. ‘That metal thing was way hotter than I thought. I only put it down for a second. There was, like, this rough bit of wood that needed sanding. The hot rod thing touched some newspaper and smoke started, then it was, like, properly burning. This old rag on the table caught fire, too. Like, fast. I mean, really fast! Then it spread to the curtains and… and it was mega scary.’
Beth watched the teen’s lips tremble, knowing there was more.
‘So, like, Grace was outside. She was behind the shed. It was too hot to get past. Flames and smoke were pouring out of the door. I yelled at her to go the other way. To duck through the hedge, like, and run to the barn. ’Cos I’d seen you go over there. Then, I got the hose out. I thought, if I could get everything wet, I could stop it, but, like, the flames were on the roof by then and everything was on fire and… well… then you came.’
Beth rubbed her temples with the tips of her fingers and looked Daisy in the eye.
‘I love you, Daisy.’ The silence that greeted Beth’s comment was deafening. ‘The thing is, you’ve made it very clear you don’t like me. Which hurts, by the way. You keep saying that I’m not your real mother, that you don’t care what I think and I’m lame. To be perfectly frank, I’ve had enough. I know I’m not your mother. I’m not stupid. I’m not trying to be your mother. I just want you to let me look after you.’
Daisy bowed her head. She pulled at the scraggy tissue in her hands. Tears tumbled down her cheeks, dripping into her lap unchecked. Wiping her face, she sucked in a deep breath. ‘I can’t do that, because you’ll leave.’
‘Why do you think I’ll leave?’
The teen shrugged. ‘Everyone leaves. Mum left. I know she couldn’t help it, because she died, but she still left. After that, Aunty B came for a bit and then she stopped. We see her in the village, but it’s not the same. And now Dad’s gone. And yeah, I know he’s working abroad and stuff, but he could have stayed. He chose to leave.’
A small kernel of hope blossomed in Beth’s chest. ‘Is that why you give me so much grief? Because you think I’m not going to stick around?’
Daisy shrugged. ‘Yeah. And also because you keep telling me I can’t do what I want. Anyway, I don’t care what Dad says on all his effing postcards, I don’t think he’s coming back.’ Daisy looked at her siblings. ‘I’m not wrong, am I? Well, am I?’
Beth and Rose exchanged a glance.
‘There, see.’ Daisy pointed at them. ‘You two have been all huddled up the last couple of days, talking in whispers and… and… Oh. Come on! I’m not stupid. Something is going on.’
‘Tell her, Beth,’ urged Rose.
The weight of Jack’s gaze landed on Beth, too. Her heart started to beat a wild rhythm in her chest. She wasn’t ready for this.
‘There’s a lot of shit going down, Dais,’ said Jack, ‘and I don’t believe the half of it. But if we tell you, you got to promise not to go off the deep end.’
Daisy scrubbed at her face with the remains of her tissue. ‘What are you on about, J?’
Beth held her breath.
‘For starters, Dad isn’t sending the postcards,’ said Jack. ‘Beth is.’
Daisy’s eyebrows disappeared up behind her fringe. ‘Why?’
Rose leapt to Beth’s defence. ‘You got so upset after Dad left. Beth thought they would help calm you down.’
‘What? Like I’m five or something?’
Rose shrugged. ‘Then he sent, like, this really mean letter. Told her he couldn’t bear to be near us kids because we remind him of Mum and that he wasn’t ever coming back. And he stole the money Beth had saved to fix the roof.’
Daisy shook her head. ‘He wouldn’t do that.’
Jack glared at Rose. ‘We don’t know for sure that he stole it.’
‘We do. He took it right out of the account. Without asking,’ said Rose.
‘But we don’t know what’s going on with him,’ insisted Jack. ‘Any more than he knows about stuff here. He might have borrowed it because he needed it.’
‘We need it, Jack. Stop being thick.’
‘Please stop it,’ said Beth. ‘Having a go at each other won’t fix anything.’
Daisy was resolute. ‘It’s lies.’
‘Show her the letter, Beth,’ said Rose.
Beth blinked back tears and fumbled in her bag.
A heavy silence fell as Daisy read the letter, then she pushed it away. ‘This is fake.’
Beth shook her head. ‘It isn’t.’
‘You faked the postcards. You could fake a letter.’
‘I didn’t, though.’
‘I don’t believe you.’ An icy cold hand took hold of Beth’s heart at the quiet certainty in Daisy’s voice.
‘He was never that reliable, though, was he?’ said Rose.
‘Come on, Rose, he wasn’t that bad,’ said Jack.
‘How many times did he say he’d come to something at school, you know, plays and stuff, and not turn up? Remember that competition you were in?’
Jack hunched down in his chair. ‘You’re talking bullshit, Rose.’
Daisy turned blank eyes on Beth. ‘Are you going to divorce him?’
Beth nodded. ‘When I can afford it.’
‘See? I was right. Then you’ll leave.’
‘For God’s sake, Daisy. I’m not leaving. This is my home. It’s your home, too, for as long as you want it.’
‘If she doesn’t burn it down first—’
‘Jack! Give it a rest, will you?’ Beth sprang to her feet, took two strides to the dresser, grabbed the silver-framed photograph of Isla and shoved it into Daisy’s hands. ‘Look.’
Daisy stared at her mother’s face, then back up at Beth. ‘What am I looking at?’
‘I’ve spent far too long thinking of your mother as this perfect ghost. A rival I can’t compete with. But recently, I’ve been thinking that if I’d known her, I probably would have liked her. Everyone else seems to think she was really special.’
‘She was wonderful,’ muttered Rose.
‘Then answer me this, Rose. How pissed off would she be at your dad for not sticking around to take care of you?’ demanded Beth.
Jack gave a short laugh. ‘She’d be bloody livid.’
‘Yes, Jack, she would. And know what? I’m livid, too.’ Beth looked at each of them. Daisy refused to meet her eyes. ‘I’m not leaving, Daisy. Please believe me. If you can’t let me take care of you for your own sake, then let me do it for your mum. I don’t want to replace her. But if something ever happened to me, I’d like to think someone would be there for Grace. Someone to love her and put her first. Let me do that for you, Daisy, please?’
Several seconds passed. Daisy pulled her arm from under Beth’s hand and stood up, still hugging Isla’s picture to her chest. ‘I’ll think about it. I’m tired. I’m going to bed.’
‘Please, I—’
‘No! Just leave me alone.’ The kitchen door slammed again.
‘Are you really going to divorce him?’ demanded Jack.
Beth sank onto a chair, her heart heavy. ‘Yes, I consulted a lawyer about a month after he left. Apparently, divorcing someone when you don’t know where they are is expensive and difficult, but not impossible.’
‘But what if…’ Jack shook his head. ‘No, never mind.’
‘What if he comes back?’ Beth asked.
Jack nodded.
‘If he does, I won’t stop you seeing him, but I won’t be his wife. And let’s be clear on one thing, he won’t be moving back in here. Assuming we can raise the money to save this place, of course.’
Rose suddenly slapped a hand to her forehead. ‘The tents. Oh, Beth. The tents I picked up with Ethan.’
‘What about them?’ asked Beth.
‘They were in the shed.’
‘What tents?’ asked Jack.
Rose tutted. ‘Keep up, Jack. We’re going to rent out the field for camping.’
‘Are we? Why?’
Beth crossed the kitchen to look out at the devastation, the smoking hulk of the shed a stark reminder of how close they had already come to disaster. ‘We’ve got to pay the mortgage and fix the roof, Jack. The money your dad took—’ She held up a hand to pre-empt the protest that was already halfway out of his mouth. ‘Whether he stole it or borrowed it is irrelevant. Without that money, we’re in serious financial trouble.’
Beth listened as Rose explained her plan to her brother, her already low spirits sinking further. Her mobile vibrated in her pocket. What now? She swiped to accept the call.
‘Hi, Beth,’ came Jane’s voice. ‘Are you ready for that consultation?’
The last thing Beth felt like right at that moment was a therapy session, but she sure had plenty to talk about. ‘Hi, Jane. Hang on a sec…’ She turned to Rose and Jack. ‘Sorry, guys. I have to take this. Can one of you check on Grace for me, please?’