Chapter 28
28
Beth
Beth winced in sympathy as Frankie struggled to fill the kettle with water.
‘Here, let me,’ she said, taking it from her and pausing to study her face. She looked pale, and there were dark smudges under her eyes. Beth acknowledged that this might be due to the soft lighting in her flat, but Frankie’s smile also seemed tired, and perhaps a little forced? She turned off the tap and set the kettle to boil.
‘Sorry to call by unannounced, but I’m on my way to work and I couldn’t virtually pass your doorstep without checking you’re okay.’ She eyed the sling which Frankie was still wearing. ‘How’s it feeling?’ she asked.
‘Okay, I think. I haven’t tried to do anything, just in case. And I’ve been asleep, so…I’m pretty sure it’s just a sprain though, like you said.’
‘Even so, I’ll feel happier if I take a look.’
‘Are you sure you’ve got time?’
Beth gave her an admonishing look. ‘I’m positive. Now…mugs?’ There were several by the sink, still dirty, but she didn’t want to presume. ‘I’ll wash these, shall I?’
Frankie immediately got to her feet. ‘I’ll do them.’
Beth gently gripped her shoulders and steered her towards the table. ‘You’ll do no such thing,’ she said. ‘Sit down and enjoy being waited on. Washing a couple of mugs isn’t going to kill me.’
Frankie gave a rueful smile. ‘Thank you. I’d have done them but a very good friend of mine told me I should rest my wrist.’
Beth grinned and turned to the task in hand.
‘I hope you’re not going to work tonight,’ she added as she began to run water into the sink.
‘I have to, there’s no one else.’
‘But how on earth will you manage? The fact that there’s no one to take your place isn’t your problem, is it? Surely the owner should sort that out.’
Frankie’s gaze dropped a moment and she shrugged. ‘She’s not well herself, and I don’t really want to bother her just now. And I’ll be fine. William is going to help me again.’
Beth was about to respond with a teasing reply when she realised that Frankie didn’t look as pleased about the prospect as she thought she would. ‘Is everything okay?’ she asked. ‘You look a little…preoccupied. Not your usual cheerful self.’
Frankie gave a wan smile. ‘I had a phone call just after I got home this morning, and it’s rather thrown me for six. Not to worry though, it’ll sort itself.’ She visibly brightened her face. ‘You, however, look like all your birthdays and Christmases have come together.’
‘Do I?’ Despite its wetness, Beth put a hand to her cheek. She hadn’t come to talk about herself but she was bursting with happiness and dying to tell Frankie her news. ‘I’ve had a brilliant day. Well, Jack has…we both have.’ Her excitement was hard to contain.
And for the first time since she opened the door, Frankie’s face lit up, her beautiful smile back in place.
‘Good job we’re having tea then,’ she said. ‘You can tell me all about it.’
‘What I hadn’t given Tam credit for is how easily he looks after Jack,’ said Beth a few minutes later, once they were settled. ‘He’s not awkward in his company. He doesn’t step politely around his disability, nor dodge potentially embarrassing questions. It’s as if he has this inbuilt knowledge of how to act…’ She broke off. ‘Sorry, that sounds a bit rude. I’m not implying that everyone…or maybe I am…’ She smiled. ‘It’s just that most people we come across see the chair first before they even consider Jack as a person.’
‘Does he take sugar?’ said Frankie, nodding in sympathy.
‘Yes, exactly that. But Tam is different. He makes no assumptions either. He’s actually built a – I’m not sure what you’d call it – a cage thing that fits over the seat of the quad bike so Jack can go on the back of it. It’s extraordinary. He took Jack out today, toured the whole farm just so that he could see it again.’ She paused, feeling her throat tighten at the memory of Jack’s face earlier. ‘It’s been nearly ten years,’ she added. ‘Can you imagine? I never thought I’d see Jack look so happy again, and I can’t thank Tam enough for what he’s done.’ She dropped her head.
Most of her thoughts had been happy ones, but they also rode tandem with a whole bunch of others she was struggling with. ‘I also can’t believe I got it so wrong,’ she said. ‘All those years I denied Jack, discouraged him from doing anything which reminded him of his old life. I’ve let him quietly decline just like the farm has, mouldering away until there was almost nothing left.’
‘Oh, Beth…’ Frankie squeezed her hand. ‘You mustn’t be so hard on yourself. You’re the reason why Jack is here in the first place, why he’s still here. And everything you’ve done has been because you love him. Even if events are now showing you a different way forward, you mustn’t ever think what you’ve done is worthless. Without you, none of this would be happening. Without Tam, too. What goes around comes around, Beth. You’ve made a friend of Tam, and I don’t think he has too many of those. We don’t always know why things happen the way they do, but recognising magic when it comes into our lives is a special talent only a few people have.’ She gave her a pointed look. ‘And yes, I do mean you.’
Beth’s cheeks flushed in response, and she was reminded of how pleased she’d felt when Frankie said yes to her invitation to have coffee. It seemed such a long time ago, but Beth knew that Frankie had been just as pleased as her. Tam wasn’t the only one who needed a friend. They all did.
‘ You’ve made a friend of Tam as well,’ Beth replied. ‘And me, and William too…Seems like I’m not the only one with a special talent.’ She grinned. ‘And I’m very glad you have William looking after you,’ she said. ‘You have to admit, there is a little of the knight in shining armour about him.’
Frankie laughed. ‘There is, I—’ She stopped, swallowing. ‘Beth, can I tell you something? I should have shared it before, but it’s not something I find easy to talk about.’
‘Of course you can…Are you sure everything is okay? I thought there was something wrong when I arrived.’
Frankie nodded. ‘But this kind of has to do with William as well, so…’ She frowned. ‘I’m not going to make you late, am I?’
Beth shook her head but held up her hand to stall her slightly. ‘Let me look at your wrist while you talk.’ She began to undo the knot on Frankie’s sling with deft fingers.
‘When I slipped over last night, it was because my feet wouldn’t move me fast enough. I was running away from the bakery because I was terrified that someone from my past had caught up with me.’ She cleared her throat. ‘That someone was my husband. I think I mentioned him before, only in the past tense, as an ex-husband. I don’t use his name any more – Nightingale is my maiden name – but technically we’re still married…’ She winced slightly as Beth lowered her arm. ‘He’d shoved a letter through the door of the shop and, when I found it, the only thing I could think of was getting away. I’ve been running for a long time, Beth, and yet, when I was really scared, I ran to William…and I’m kind of having a hard time dealing with that.’ She grimaced. ‘My head’s all over the place.’
Beth drew her brows together. ‘Hold on a minute, that’s a lot of information.’ She stilled her probing fingers on Frankie’s wrist. ‘You’re saying you’re still married? And to a not very nice man, by the sounds of it. Why were you so scared? What has he done?’ She thought quickly. ‘Maybe this is something you should be telling the police.’
But Frankie shook her head. ‘No. I’ve been down that road before…And Robert hasn’t done anything, not recently anyhow.’
‘But he’s been abusive in the past?’ And suddenly, threads of their previous conversations came back to her. How Frankie had once said her life was complicated, how she was revelling in being able to make her own decisions now that she was on her own, but most of all how she loved the calming darkness, away from people and their judgements of her. A time when she could reclaim the person she was, instead of the one she had pretended to be.
‘It’s why you work the night shift, isn’t it?’ she said. ‘You’ve been hiding from him. Hiding from everyone. Oh, Frankie…’ She moved her fingers away from Frankie’s wrist so that she could gently squeeze her hand. ‘You tried to tell me before, didn’t you? And I just waffled on about my own problems, how I was feeling about Jack, my job…I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t be,’ replied Frankie. ‘My problems are no more important than anyone else’s. And you needed to express how you’d been feeling, too. The simple fact of saying the words aloud has probably helped you get to the point you’re at now.’
Beth returned her attention to Frankie’s wrist, partly out of necessity, but partly because she needed time to process what Frankie had said. To acknowledge the truth of it and recall how easy it had been to confide in her. To tell her things which she had kept hidden, even from herself. She’d been right to trust her instincts – Frankie had come into her life for a reason. Which meant that the reverse was also true.
‘You said that Robert put a note through the door of the bakery, but do you think he knows about your flat too?’
Frankie shook her head. ‘The letter implied that he did, but I don’t know for sure. I haven’t seen him here. Although, to be fair, I didn’t see him at the bakery either, his letter just spooked me. I think I was seeing shadows at that point.’
‘Understandable.’ Beth gritted her teeth, furious that a man she hadn’t even met was causing Frankie such anguish. ‘So, what does he want? Because whatever it is, he isn’t going to get it.’
‘He claims he wants to meet up – just so that we can attend to the practical arrangements for moving forward with our lives. And by that, I assume he means a divorce. But that won’t be what he wants, Beth, it’s just the civilised face he’s putting on things. That was always the problem. He’s incredibly good at appearing to be the model husband – kind, loving, extremely caring, and ever so reasonable. It took me years to figure out what was really going on. Most of my friends never took the time to work it out though, or listen when I told them. My family were the same. They still see the break-up of our marriage as my fault. We hardly speak now.’
Beth looked up, stunned. ‘What? How long ago did this happen?’
‘Eighteen months. But we were married for nigh on thirty years, so they had a long time to listen to Robert’s lies about me, his insinuations about my mental health, his control disguised as love. If I were in their shoes, I’d probably think the same.’
Beth doubted that very much. Frankie was far too astute, and far too kind and understanding. ‘Is that what he did? Made out you were going cuckoo?’
‘Kind of,’ replied Frankie, smiling sadly at the memory. ‘It was more that I had my little “difficulties” – things they should be considerate of – and it doesn’t take long for suggestions like those to be taken at face value. Trouble was, by the end, he had eroded all my self-confidence, all my ability to make decisions for myself. I’d practically become the person he’d convinced everyone I was. And yet, there he was doing his utmost to look after his wife. It’s easy to see why everyone sided with him, how they felt sorry for him.’
‘But surely that was his plan all along? Wasn’t that the point?’
‘It was, of course it was. But it meant that I had very little to fight with. Even now, I’m not sure how I managed to get away.’
The almost unbearable pain in Frankie’s eyes was hard to look at, but it also struck something deep within Beth. Something deep and determined. ‘Have you decided to meet him? Because if you have, there’s no way you’re doing it alone. I’ll come with you…Or I’ll sit somewhere close by ready to charge in and batter him if he puts a foot out of line.’
Frankie smiled. ‘You know William offered to do much the same, but…would you really do that for me? Are you sure you don’t mind? It is time I stopped running and faced up to him, and if you were there, I don’t think I’d be so fearful. It’s the fear that gets in the way of everything.’
Beth was resolute. ‘Nothing would give me greater pleasure,’ she said. ‘In fact, if William has offered to do the same, perhaps he should be there as well? I don’t know what Robert looks like, but William’s a big bloke – he could scare the pants off him.’
‘I know. I was very tempted to take him up on his offer, but I don’t think it would give quite the right message. It would make it look like William and I were…you know, a thing.’
‘A thing?’ Beth returned a teasing smile. ‘And what exactly would that be?’
A rosy bloom welled up Frankie’s neck. ‘Don’t. I’m giving myself a hard time over him as it is.’
Beth pointed a finger at her chest in amusement, as if to say who, me? ‘Just tell me what’s so horrific about being in a thing with William?’
‘I don’t know, that’s what’s so stupid. But I don’t want to give him the wrong idea. I’ve already turned up at his flat, thrown myself into his arms and cried all over him. Twice, actually.’
‘But you were scared, hurt and upset. What’s wrong with that? Would you be worried if you’d done that to me? Because I doubt it. Why does him being a bloke make it different? He’s still your friend.’
‘It’s not him being a bloke that I’m worried about per se. I mean, it is, but only because…’ She paused, looking sheepish. ‘Because I wanted him to kiss me. There, I’ve said it.’ She dropped her head. ‘I mean, I really, really wanted him to kiss me. And believe me, that’s not something I’ve thought about in a very long time.’ She shook her head. ‘I think there must be something wrong with me.’
‘On the contrary,’ said Beth. ‘I think, given all that we’ve said here tonight, there’s something very right with you. I think it’s proof of how ready you are to consign Robert and everything he did to the past. The future is what’s important now. Perhaps it’s time for the nightingale to fly again.’
To Beth’s surprise, an anxious expression came over Frankie’s face. ‘Except that it’s not that simple, is it? You know that phone call I mentioned earlier?’ She sighed. ‘It was from my boss, the owner of the bakery. She thinks she’s found someone to buy the business. I knew it was going to happen, but I really thought I’d have more time, and what’s worse is that the prospective buyer is a property developer, so he wants to buy the flat too.’
Beth’s mouth dropped open. ‘I don’t know what to say…that’s awful news. Can she do that? Yes, silly, of course she can. But there must be something we can do. Has she said how soon it’s going to happen?’
Frankie shook her head. ‘She and her husband still need to sell their house before they can move and buy something else, so I guess it will be as long as it takes for that to happen. She hasn’t said yet whether this person will want to keep me on, but if they don’t, there’s not a lot I can do.’
Thoughts were whirling in Beth’s mind. There wasn’t any sense to them yet, but…‘We’ll sort this, Frankie. I don’t know how, but one thing at a time, we’ll sort this.’ She glanced at her watch and pulled a face. ‘I’m really sorry, but I’m going to be late if I don’t get a move on. Are you sure you’re okay being here on your own?’
Frankie nodded. ‘I won’t be on my own, William will be here soon. He said he’d walk me to work.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘All of the four steps from my flat to the bakery’s front door.’
‘Good. And make sure you don’t do anything. Your wrist won’t take it kindly if you do, and it’ll be a few more days before you can even begin to test it. Keep it in the sling and, if you can bear to, just rotate it gently every hour or so to keep it mobile.’
‘Don’t worry, I’m quite happy to let William take over. He’s got the makings of a surprisingly good baker.’ She checked herself as if a thought had suddenly crossed her mind. ‘Shouldn’t you hear about your job soon?’ she asked.
Beth swallowed. ‘It might even be tonight. And I’m hopeful things will be all right. I passed Matron in the corridor as I left this morning and, although she didn’t say anything, she gave me a huge thumbs up. You wouldn’t do that if you were about to make someone redundant, would you? Besides, I can’t believe the universe would be so unkind now, not when for the first time in a long time there’s a little glimmer of hope.’
Frankie got up to walk Beth to the door, pulling her into a one-armed hug at the last minute. ‘Sometimes all you need is hope,’ she said.