Chapter 12 #2
‘One of my sisters is a junior doctor and she’s worked at lots of the London hospitals,’ Hope said, although she had no intention of explaining that Annie hadn’t been adopted with her and couldn’t possibly share a familial likeness. It was far better just to play along with the possibility.
‘Are you very alike?’ Jess asked and Hope forced herself to nod.
‘I’m definitely closer to Annie in looks than I am to my other two sisters.’ That much was true. They had a similar colouring and build, but it was down to coincidence, not genetics.
‘Hmm, maybe I did meet her.’ Esther wrinkled her nose. ‘But I can’t say I remember a junior doctor called Annie and, if she was your doppelg?nger, I think she’d have stuck in my mind.’
‘I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or an insult.’ Hope laughed, grateful for the fact that Esther seemed to have moved away from trying to work out why she looked so familiar.
‘It’s definitely a compliment. Someone as pretty as you would have stuck in my mind, I’m sure of it.’
‘Maybe Hope reminds you of someone famous.’ Jess narrowed her eyes. ‘I can see a much younger Drew Barrymore, in her 50 First Dates era.’
‘Really?’ Esther screwed up her nose even further.
‘I have been compared to her before,’ Hope said. It wasn’t a lie and one or two people had even commented on Hope having a similar smile to Drew Barrymore, that same very slightly asymmetrical smile that she and Joe shared. She just hoped it was enough to put Esther off the scent.
‘Maybe.’ Esther sounded sceptical, but they were saved from further discussion by the arrival of a couple of the other group members, who got in line behind Joe, still waiting for their drinks at the counter.
‘Oh, let me give you these before everyone else arrives.’ Esther leant down and pulled two thick, cream envelopes out of her bag, sliding them across the table towards Jess and Hope, their names written on the outside in gold ink.
‘They’re invitations to a baby shower I’m throwing for Danni on Saturday the sixth.
I want to make it up to her for feeling as though she had to hide her baby news from me, especially after what she went through with Caleb. ’
Esther had clearly seen the quizzical look that must have passed across Hope’s face, and she closed her eyes for a moment before continuing.
‘A young woman lost her own baby just before Caleb was born. She was in a terrible state and stole the hospital pass of a friend she was staying with. It allowed her to get into the maternity ward and take Caleb, while posing as a midwife.’
‘Oh my God, how awful.’ Hope drew in a breath so sharp it hurt her throat.
‘I know.’ Esther shook her head. ‘Thank goodness things were resolved quickly and Caleb was brought home, but understandably it tainted the experience of having a new baby for Danni and Charlie. So this time, more than anyone, they deserve to have the best possible experience, and I want to help make that happen for them. Especially after making it so hard for Danni to break the news about the new baby.’
‘It wasn’t you that made it hard; it was the circumstances.
’ Jess’s face betrayed how deeply she understood Esther’s feelings, and Hope tried to put herself in their shoes for a moment.
As hard as she tried to imagine what it must feel like to long for a baby, she knew she couldn’t really understand without having been through it too.
The depth of that longing couldn’t be recreated by make-believe.
‘I hope that’s true, but either way I’m determined to make this the best baby shower I possibly can.
I didn’t want to give you the invitations in front of anyone else, though.
It feels a bit awkward. I’d hate the thought of causing anyone distress, seeing me handing out invitations to a baby shower. ’
‘That’s so thoughtful and you can definitely count me in.’ Jess beamed, putting the envelope into her bag.
‘It really is.’ Hope closed her hand over her own envelope, weighing up whether she should say what she was about to, but she couldn’t stop herself.
She didn’t want Esther to feel she had to invite Hope, just because she was helping Jess out at the group.
‘But are you sure Danni will really want me there? We’ve only met a handful of times, and I’d hate either of you to feel like you had to invite me, just because I help out here. ’
‘Not at all, she gave me a list of people she wanted to invite, and you were on it.’ Hope wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or disappointed at Esther’s words.
It was lovely that Danni had included her, but there was a part of her that had hoped it was Esther’s idea.
She wanted approval from the woman sitting opposite her, even if she could never tell her why, but it turned out Esther wasn’t finished.
‘And I was so pleased you were on the list, because it’s the perfect opportunity for all of us to get to know you better, and vice versa, now that you’re part of the family. ’
‘The family?’ Her words came out weirdly high-pitched, shock making her unable to control her voice and Esther laughed.
‘Oh, don’t panic, I just meant the St Piran’s family, you’re not being drawn into some weird cult or Cornwall’s answer to the mafia!’
‘The St Piran’s family, of course. I knew that’s what you meant.
’ Somehow Hope managed to smile through the lie she’d just told, her heartbeat still galloping as Joe brought over the tray of drinks and cake.
She was going to need that chamomile tea more than ever.
‘I’ll have to check my shift pattern, but if I’m not working, I’d absolutely love to come. ’
‘Perfect and, who knows, with all of these drugs pumping through my system, I might even have some baby news of my own to celebrate by then. Although I’ll definitely be keeping it under wraps for a while when the time finally comes.
Joe and I have agreed we’ll only be telling family, if we ever get a positive pregnancy test. We’ll tell everyone else once we’re sure nothing is going to go wrong. ’
‘I’m so glad you’re talking about these things and planning for a positive outcome.’ Jess looked from Esther to Joe and back again. ‘As cheesy as it sounds, I think trusting that it will happen is half the battle.’
‘You’re right.’ Esther nodded. ‘And me coming to this group has definitely made me more positive, hasn’t it, Joe?’
‘Absolutely.’ He set the drinks down on the table as he spoke. ‘It’s helped us feel far more confident that we will get to be parents, one way or another. We’ve got the whole wider family rooting for us and our child is going to be so loved.’
Esther and Joe’s family were clearly very important to them, and the child they longed for would undoubtedly mean the world to them too.
Yet there was a part of the puzzle they’d never discover if Hope decided to keep that to herself.
For now, getting closer to them felt like a gift and Hope was determined to embrace it.
Not just because she wanted the chance to get to know them as well as possible, but also because it might help her decide once and for all whether to follow the advice of her parents and sister, and tell Joe and Esther the truth.
Or go with her gut, and save Esther from the potential of any further pain.
Hope loved the harbourside at Port Agnes.
It wasn’t only that it reminded her of Tenby, it had countless charms of its own too.
It was bustling with life; still a working fishing port and popular with leisure boats too – both day-trippers and the tourist vessels that took people out seal-spotting along the Atlantic coast. All of that made it perfect for people watching and, if Hope had more time, she’d happily have sat on the wall by the harbour observing people coming and going all day long.
But she didn’t have much time at all. Her shift at the Port Agnes Midwifery Unit was due to start in half an hour and she was on call for home deliveries over the weekend, as well as being on hand to help out at the unit itself if there were no call-outs.
Before all of that, she needed to indulge her craving.
She’d never had a saffron bun before moving to Port Agnes, but they’d been one of her favourite discoveries.
The only trouble was that they really were becoming a bit of an addiction.
Having tried other places, she was certain the best ones in Cornwall were made at Mehenick’s Bakery on the harbour.
They offered a couple of varieties, but her favourites were the candied orange peel and cranberry variety.
Her mouth watered just thinking about them, and as far as Hope was concerned, a saffron bun would be the perfect pick-me-up breakfast before the start of her shift.
After all, it was a gloriously sunny Saturday, when as much as she loved her job, a big part of her would rather have continued people watching by the harbour.
‘Hello, my love.’ The moment she stepped inside the bakery, which was run by her colleague Ella’s parents, she was greeted with an effusive welcome.
It wasn’t from Ella’s mum and dad, who were both busy serving, but from Gwen, who ran the hospital shop.
She was standing directly in front of Hope, waiting in line to be served, and had turned to look at her as she came through the door.
‘Hi, Gwen, lovely to see you. How are you?’ As Hope asked the question, the man standing next to Gwen turned in her direction too.
He was tall and broad-shouldered, with dark hair, hazelly green eyes, and a close-cropped beard, barely a day or two past stubble.
Although he was undoubtedly good-looking in repose, when he smiled it tipped into something way beyond that for Hope, almost a physical jolt of recognition.
It was as if she’d been searching for a familiar face in a crowd, one she’d been longing to see, and had suddenly spotted him.
Yet she was certain they’d never met before.