Chapter Nine
S tone walked the few steps to his chair, then collapsed.
Every cell in his body ached with a need he couldn’t control.
He’d wanted before—he’d even wanted Cathy.
But he didn’t remember ever feeling this overwhelming desire.
He was having trouble focusing on anything but how she’d felt in his arms and the way his world had exploded into passion when he’d kissed her.
Talk about stupid, he told himself. First he asked the woman to work for him.
A smart move. After all, she was bright, energetic and willing to get the job done.
The way she’d tackled her recovery and physical therapy had shown him that.
Better yet, he sensed he could trust her.
There weren’t many people he could say that about.
But then he had to go and blow it by kissing her.
It had been the hug. He knew that, but told himself it was a pretty poor excuse.
Women had hugged him before. Admittedly none had since the accident.
Not that there had been any opportunity.
So maybe that was the reason he’d overreacted.
He’d been caught off guard. The unexpected contact with an enticing female had left him vulnerable to his physical needs.
Apparently that part of him wasn’t as dead as he’d imagined.
That’s all it was then—animal lust. Nothing more. A physical sensation, be it desire or pain, could be controlled. He’d done it all his life.
Stone sucked in a breath and exhaled it slowly.
To be completely honest, he had a lot of experience controlling pain and virtually none controlling desire.
Wanting had never been an issue in his life.
In college he’d had a string of steady girlfriends more than willing to be intimate with him.
He’d experienced desire, but nothing like this soul-wrenching wanting.
Marriage to Evelyn had been difficult because he hadn’t felt any sexual connection with her.
So this experience with Cathy was new territory. Still, he would conquer it.
He pressed one foot against the floor and pushed until he’d turned his chair around and he could stare out the window.
So far the lecture on managing the need wasn’t helping.
Every inch of him was still on fire. His groin throbbed to the point of pain.
Part of the problem was his body sensed the possibilities.
Cathy had responded to the kiss as if she, too, had felt the same passion flaring between them.
Without closing his eyes, he could put himself back there—holding her, kissing her, bodies pressing, tongues stroking.
He groaned low in his throat. His hardness swelled to the point of explosion.
He could never do it again. Cathy had to be completely off-limits to him except as an employee and a friend.
She was too softhearted. She only saw the scars on the outside, and they would never bother her.
Even though he’d tried to warn her off, she thought he was a normal, decent guy.
She didn’t have the life experience to know that inside he was little more than a monster.
An empty shell of a man who had lied to and betrayed the best person in his world.
If she knew the truth—He shook his head.
He was a coward, as well, he realized. He didn’t want her to know the truth about him.
She would think less of him, and he knew he couldn’t bear that.
She was important to him and if she were gone, he would have nothing of value left.
Work had long since ceased to be much of a challenge.
So he wouldn’t tell her how he’d married Evelyn for all the wrong reasons. How he hadn’t had the common decency to love or even desire his wife. How in the end, he’d allowed her to catch him in an act of betrayal and that she had died because of it.
Instead, he would remind himself of his plan and continue to act on it. Cathy was physically better. Now he’d offered her a job. He was well on his way to fixing her and her life. Soon she wouldn’t need him anymore, and he could set her free.
But the idea of Cathy being gone was even more painful than the wanting, so he pushed that thought away. He was doing the right thing for the right reason. The desire had no place in this.
He shifted until he was facing his desk again, punched a button on his computer keyboard and went back to work.
But it was nearly an hour until the throbbing subsided to a manageable level, and that night, despite a healthy dose of Scotch, he was restless.
When he slept, he dreamed of making love with Cathy, waking to a sweat-slicked body and a hardness aching for release.
* * *
Cathy pulled back the drapes and stared out at the morning. As usual the sky was clear and the ocean a deep shade of blue. “I don’t have to leave,” she said softly to herself, and grinned. It was all too wonderful to believe.
As she showered and dressed, she made a mental list of everything she had to do.
She agreed with Stone that she should rent out her house in North Hollywood.
Today she would find a broker who handled that sort of thing and sign the necessary papers.
She also wanted to pack up her personal belongings and store them in the little room off the garage.
She should probably get a post-office box somewhere close, too, so she could have her mail forwarded.
So many things, she thought, happy to be busy at last.
She returned to the bathroom to apply her makeup.
It was Saturday. She would start working for Stone on Monday morning.
A flutter of excitement rippled through her.
The thought of the new job was a little scary, but she was determined to work as hard as she could to be successful.
This was a terrific opportunity, and she wasn’t going to blow it.
She reached for her compact of blusher, then stared at herself and laughed. She didn’t need the color in her cheeks; she was already glowing. Cathy chuckled. Her happiness wasn’t all about her new job, either. Some of it was about the kiss.
She sighed softly and closed her eyes. Instantly she was transported back to those few moments in Stone’s arms. Her body began to tingle as she remembered being so close to him.
She could recall the scent of him, his heat, the way his hands had felt against her back and waist. His had been the most amazing kiss of her life.
Cathy opened her eyes. “Not that I have a whole lot to compare it to,” she reminded herself.
There had been a couple of kisses in high school at different parties when kissing games had been played.
But she’d never had a boyfriend. She’d been shy and standoffish, mostly because of her mother.
It had been too dangerous to let anyone get close.
She couldn’t have risked someone wanting to come home with her ever.
So she’d refused the few tentative offers she’d had.
Her only other kissing experience had come at an acquaintance’s summer party a couple of years after high school.
Cathy didn’t remember very much about the night, except it had been very hot and the college boys had spiked the drinks.
She did recall one young man cornering her by the billiard table.
He’d pushed her into the shadows, murmured something about her being quiet but sexy.
Then he’d stuck his tongue in her mouth and his hand down her shorts.
She’d been too stunned to react. He’d taken her silence as agreement and had started pushing her toward one of the bedrooms. Cathy had escaped by asking him to get her a drink, then ducking out a side door and walking home.
At the time, she’d decided that the kissing they talked about in books was highly overrated and she wasn’t ever going to worry if she didn’t do it again.
But now everything had changed. Stone’s kiss hadn’t been anything like the ones she’d experienced before.
She’d liked it and she wanted him to do it again.
Not that he would, she thought as she put her makeup away and headed toward the door.
She was going to be working for him, and that meant they would have a professional relationship.
She just wished there was a way she could have it all.
Ula was in the kitchen when Cathy arrived. She quashed a flash of disappointment that Stone wasn’t there. He rarely joined them in the morning, but sometimes he did and after what had happened yesterday, she’d been hoping this would be one of those special days.
“Good morning,” the housekeeper said as she put a plate of cut-up fruit in front of Cathy. “How did you sleep?”
“Great. And you?”
“Well as always.”
Cathy speared a strawberry. “Did Stone tell you?”
Ula poured them each a cup of coffee, then took her usual seat on the opposite side of the small table.
The kitchen itself was large, with restaurant-sized appliances.
The floors and countertops gleamed in the bright morning sun.
The windows faced east and caught all the early light.
Fresh herbs grew in a built-in planter, while several vibrant, healthy plants hung from hooks in the ceiling.
Ula’s dark eyes brightened with curiosity. “Mr. Ward hasn’t told me anything.”
Cathy leaned forward. “I’m not leaving. Stone has offered me a job as his assistant. I start Monday. He said it would be better for him if I continued to live in the house.” Some of her good humor faded. “I hope you don’t mind the extra work.”
“Child, you worry too much.” Ula gave her a smile, then touched the back of her hand.
“I’m delighted for you. I could never understand why someone as bright as yourself had gotten locked away in that boring job.
Mr. Ward is a demanding boss, but he’s fair.
Besides, I suspect you’ve already seen much of his temper is more bark than bite. ”