Chapter Nine #2
Cathy relaxed into her chair. She hadn’t realized how concerned she’d been about the other woman’s opinion until she’d told her about the job offer.
Ula wasn’t an open person and she didn’t let on either her feelings or what she was thinking.
But over the past several weeks, Cathy had noticed a softening by the housekeeper.
She was glad to know she had the other woman’s approval.
“I have a lot to do today,” Cathy said. She explained about renting out her house and getting a post-office box.
Ula nodded. “You might want to think about picking up a few things to wear, too. Everything you own is loose. Besides, I suspect Mr. Ward will want you to go into the office for him, from time to time. It’s some grand building on the west side.
One of those high-rise places. They all dress nice over there. ”
Cathy hadn’t thought that far ahead. “You’re right. I still have a few pounds to lose, but I could get a couple of things now and fill in as I go. There’s a nice mall at the intersection of the 101 and 405 freeways. I’ll stop there on my way back.” She smiled. “Thanks for the suggestion.”
“You’re a sweet girl. You’ll do well for Mr. Ward. See that you do well for yourself, too.”
“I plan to learn everything I can.” Cathy knew her happiness showed on her face. She couldn’t help beaming. For the first time in her life, everything was going right.
* * *
“I’ve read the prospectus,” Stone said into the phone.
When Ula tapped on the door, he motioned for her to enter and put his breakfast tray on his desk.
“Yes, I understand what everyone is saying about the IPO. I don’t agree.
I think they’re going out too high with their initial public offering of stock and I’m not going to buy.
The company has merit and they’re going to be successful, but wait a month.
I’m betting that by then the initial price is cut nearly in half.
Then we’ll buy.” He listened for a couple of minutes.
“Fine. If Johnson disagrees, he can risk his own money, but not my clients’ funds.
No, I don’t want to talk to him about it.
Uh-huh.” There were a few more protests, then Stone realized Ula was still in the room.
She obviously had something on her mind, which was unusual.
She rarely interrupted his business day.
“I’ll get back to you later,” he said, and hung up the phone.
He turned his attention to his housekeeper. “Have a seat, Ula. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
Ula sank into the chair opposite his. Despite her petite stature, she was a formidable presence. As always, her gray dress was perfectly pressed. Every dark hair was in place and her gaze was steady. Ula seemed unflappable. She would have been a great spy.
“You’re not going to like this,” she announced, and then waited, as if he would order her from the room.
“Unless you’re telling me that you’re quitting, I think I’m up for just about anything.”
She pressed her lips together. “I’m not quitting. I like my job. It’s about Cathy.”
For some reason, her words didn’t surprise him.
He knew Ula had been an interested bystander in the odd relationship he’d developed with his houseguest. Cathy was neither close friend nor family member, yet Stone had welcomed her into his home.
He hadn’t been willing to explain about their special relationship, nurtured by years of chatting on the phone.
Nor did he want to discuss the psychology of his motives for helping her.
“What about Cathy?” he asked, playing for time. “You’ve offered her a job.” She spoke as if that simple sentence explained it all.
“I know. As my assistant. I need someone and she’s perfect. She’s bright, trustworthy and looking to make a change. This is a better opportunity for her than that dead-end job she had at the answering service.”
“I don’t dispute that this is a step up for her. What I question are your motives.”
“I’m trying to do the right thing.”
Her eyes darkened with disapproval. “You’re trying to make up for the past. This isn’t right, Mr. Ward. Cathy isn’t Evelyn, and all the fixing in the world isn’t going to bring your wife back from the dead.”
Ula had always been one for plain speaking and this time was no exception. Stone had to swallow hard to keep from showing surprise or lashing out in a defensive move. Instead, he forced himself to relax back into his chair and appear calm.
“You’re perceptive as always,” he conceded.
“I’ll admit there are some similarities between Cathy’s situation and Evelyn’s life.
But I know they are two different women.
Nothing will bring Evelyn back.” Or atone for what he’d done, but he was still working on the latter.
“Cathy only needs a boost up in life. I can offer her that.”
Ula leaned forward. “Mr. Ward, you have to think about what you’re doing.
Cathy is a very nice young woman. She is everything you’ve said.
Bright, hardworking and someone you can trust. She’ll be very loyal.
But she’s young and inexperienced. To her, you are a romantically tragic man.
She will fall in love with you. Perhaps she already has.
She will allow herself to dream, not knowing that you are incapable of loving her back.
You will break her heart and then she’ll be forced to leave. It would be kinder to let her go now.”
Ula’s words stunned him. He didn’t want to think about Cathy loving him, or anyone caring about him again. He didn’t want love. He didn’t want to care about anyone. Being alone was so much safer.
“You’re exaggerating. We’re friends, nothing more.” Memories of the kiss intruded, but he pushed those away. It had been a one-time occurrence, never to be repeated.
“Just because you won’t acknowledge the truth doesn’t mean it’s going away,” Ula told him. “I’m not saying it’s wrong for her to love you. In many ways, you’re a good man. But the scars go deeper than your cheek. We both know that. You’ll never be able to give her what she deserves.”
The truth was as ugly as his face. How long had Ula been able to see through him?
“Cathy isn’t a toy,” Ula continued. “You can’t play with her until you’re tired of her, then toss her aside. I don’t think you’d do that on purpose, but it is a potential problem. You’ve seen Evelyn in her and you want to find a way to make up for what happened before.”
“I’m giving Cathy an opportunity. Without this, she goes back to her go-nowhere job at the answering service. Is that what you want?”
“And when she falls in love with you?”
“She won’t.” She couldn’t. He wasn’t worth loving, and Lord help him, he couldn’t risk caring back. He’d loved Evelyn and in the end, he’d been the cause of her death.
Ula clasped her hands tightly together. “You can’t keep her safe like a princess in a fairy tale. She’s not under a spell, and this isn’t an enchanted castle. She needs to know the truth. She deserves that much. At least let the girl make a choice.”
“She made a choice. She wants the job.”
Ula stared at him for a long time. He forced himself to stay still, when in fact he felt like pacing the room. His housekeeper’s words were hitting too close to home by far. Dammit all to hell, when had he become so transparent?
“Does she know the truth about Evelyn?”
“She knows about the accident, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“It’s not. Does she know you blame yourself for the accident?”
He thought about their conversations. “In a manner of speaking.”
“I see. Does she know how you felt about your late wife?”
“She knows that we were very close. The best of friends.”
Ula’s dark eyes saw far too much. Her expression tightened. “So you’re not going to tell her.”
“Tell her what? You’re making too much of this.”
“Am I?” Ula rose to her feet. “What will you do when she falls in love with you? You talk of wanting to make it better for her, but I don’t think she’s going to thank you for breaking her heart.
Because that is what is going to happen.
We both know that. Even if you wanted to, you’re not capable of loving her back. ”
With that, she turned on her heel and left.
Stone stared after her, then focused his attention on the view behind him.
But for once the expanse of sky and ocean held little comfort.
Ula had been wrong about many things, he told himself.
He knew this wasn’t a fairy story. There was no castle, although there was a beast in residence.
Cathy was free to come and go as she liked.
She’d made an informed choice about taking a job with him.
He’d offered her the opportunity of a lifetime.
Without him, she would have gone back to the answering service and her small, tedious life. He offered her the world.
As for her falling in love with him…it wasn’t possible. He wasn’t the kind of man to inspire strong feeling. He was too withdrawn, too physically unappealing.
What about the kiss?
The voice whispered from inside his head. He pushed it away, reminding himself that it had been a reaction of gratitude combined with the reality of two adults thrown together in close quarters. Nothing more.
That had to be true because Ula had been right about one important point. He would never risk loving anyone again. So he would never be able to return Cathy’s affections.
Not that it was going to be an issue. They would work together, they would stay friends. His housekeeper would see that she’d been wrong.
He turned back to his computer and began to work, all the while ignoring the burning in his gut that felt amazingly like guilt.