Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Gabriel
The kind of news I’d gotten today would normally have me irritated.
Everyone in my law firm knew that I didn’t travel.
It was the one rule I’d not broken for the sake of a client since Bethany was born.
Apparently Autumn Lumen changed everything, because tonight, I couldn’t wait to get home and see the look in her eyes when I told her we were going away.
“Hello,” I said as I walked through the door. It was gone eight so Bethany wouldn’t be awake, but I tried to make it home before Autumn went to bed. I managed it most nights.
“Hey,” Autumn called. As I wandered into the kitchen, I found her at the cooker. “I’m making that meatloaf you liked.”
I couldn’t remember exactly when Autumn started cooking dinner for me.
But for weeks now there was always something to eat when I got home from work.
She’d said she was cooking for her and Bethany and so it was no trouble to cook for me too.
But she didn’t have to, and we both knew it.
That was Autumn all over—she always gave more than I expected.
“That’s kind of you.” I walked up behind her, snaked my arm around her waist, and buried my head in her neck.
“You’re back early. How was work?” she asked.
“Good,” I said, kissing her neck and then going to the fridge to get a beer.
“Really? That’s not normally the response I get from you. Usually you groan and complain about Mike.”
I chuckled. “Well he tried to be a dick today but it backfired.”
“Really?” she said, putting something in the oven and turning to face me.
“He knows I won’t travel. Since Bethany was born, it’s a hard line in the sand that I’ve always had and made no exception for.
Today, Mike told me he’s looking at a huge telecoms company in Europe, and he wants me out there for a week to look at the parts of the data room that they’re refusing to put online. ”
“Oh God,” she said. “What did he say when you told him no?”
I grinned and stepped toward her. “I told him yes. We’re going to Rome next week.”
Her eyes widened and she grabbed hold of my forearms. “What do you mean we?”
“You, me, and Bethany. I thought we could fly out on the Saturday morning. I don’t have to be in the data room until Monday.
I’m not sure how the week will go, but I thought you and Bethany would like to explore Rome together.
I might get some time during the day. But you’re probably going to be on your own most of the time. ”
“Are you kidding me?” It was a sheen of shock rather than excitement that she wore.
“You don’t want to go?”
She blinked furiously. “I mean of course. I just need to check about . . . I need to figure out whether I have enough savings and—”
This girl took nothing for granted. “Autumn, you’re not going to pay for anything. It’s a business expense. But even if it wasn’t, I’ve got this.”
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I’m not expecting you to—”
“Autumn, please. You’ll be looking after Bethany—you’ll be working. And for the record, when I do take you away just for fun, you won’t be paying for anything then, either.”
“It’s important to me that I’m independent, Gabriel. Hollie’s looked out for me my entire life. I’m an adult now. I don’t want to be dependent on anyone. I need to know I can do life without a handout.”
I pushed my fingers into her hair, unable to help admiring her independence. But there was something in me that wanted to show her the world. “Let’s not borrow trouble. Rome is a business trip and you’re coming as Bethany’s nanny. It’s as simple as that.”
She looked at me like she wanted to argue the point but eventually her frown turned into a small smile. “We really get to go to Rome?”
“You said you wanted to go,” I said, my grin as wide as it ever had been as she lifted up onto her toes.
“This is beyond,” she said. “We’ll get to see the Colosseum. And St. Peters. The Pantheon. Oh my God. Mike doesn’t mind you bringing us?”
“I don’t care if he minds. Anyway, he won’t know. I’ll make sure we stay at a different hotel to him so we get some privacy. And we can stay the following weekend too if you’d like to.”
She looked up at me, her hands on my chest. “Are you serious? This is going to be so much fun. Rome.”
Before Autumn, I wouldn’t have considered going to Rome.
I certainly would never have considered putting fun on the agenda.
But now? I would enjoy eating pasta and drinking good red wine in an Italian restaurant.
I was thinking about something in my life other than Bethany and work.
I was looking forward to something. I wanted to share something with another person, purely for the sake of having her by my side.
Autumn was shifting everything—what I ate, what time I came home from work and now, what I was looking forward to.
“We need to pack and—” Her smile fell. “What should I tell Hollie? I can’t exactly say we’re going away together.”
Seeing her so concerned about what her sister would say took the sheen off my pleasure.
I still didn’t know what was happening between us, so I wasn’t encouraging her to tell her sister.
But the thought that she had to hide something from someone she was so close to didn’t sit well with me.
“I’m going for work, Autumn. You’re coming to look after Bethany so I’m not away from her for a week. ”
She nodded. “Yes, that’s right. That is what’s really happening.” She grinned up at me. “And anyway, she should be pleased. She wants me to travel and I guess I can cross Rome off my list now.”
“Your list?” I’d make the week really special. I’d organize a room with a spectacular view and get her a guide to show her around while I was at work. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been away. And there was no one I’d rather go away with than my daughter and Autumn.
“I was just looking at it, actually,” she said, pulling away and turning to the kitchen table where a notebook lay open, the pages full of scribbles. “There’s just so many places to go. A month isn’t enough time to see and do everything.”
A month? What was she talking about? We’d be in Rome a week. She slid onto the bench. “Maybe I’ll start a new notebook for our trip to Rome rather than use this one.”
“So what are you planning in this one?” I said, sliding in next to her.
“Oh just where I’m going in August.”
It was as if someone had handed me a cannonball and pushed me into the ocean.
She was planning life after me.
“Hollie’s getting stressed about a wedding date and wants me to tell her what my plans are, but I haven’t really thought about it. Is that bad?”
It shouldn’t have been, but it was a relief that at least she’d not been counting down the days until she’d be leaving me—leaving us. I hadn’t been as happy as I was at the moment for a long time. Since Penelope. Before that even.
The year before Penelope had abandoned us, life had completely changed for the better because Bethany had been born.
I’d felt soaring pride at being a father but also a pressure that it was my responsibility to give my daughter the kind of childhood I would have wanted—one free of anxiety and worry.
One that was all about giggles and laughter and being a kid.
I didn’t want Bethany to ever have to hear her father berating her mother or hear her mother crying for what seemed like days.
I knew what bad was, so I knew how to create perfect for Bethany.
When Penelope left, I’d been almost overwhelmed by guilt for not being able to sustain my vision of a perfect family for Bethany.
It had eased slightly when it was clear Penelope wasn’t coming back, but Autumn arriving seemed to bring back the hope into our lives.
She made everything more manageable somehow.
She made every obstacle feel surmountable.
She was like some kind of joy fairy that came in and made everything better.
There was more laughter in the house. More fun.
I didn’t like the idea that at some point she’d take her magic wand and move on.
But that had always been the deal. I’d always known that was going to be the case.
And it was the right thing for her and for us.
She was young. She’d never travelled before.
She should go out and find her place in the world.
And I wasn’t ever going to make promises to another woman.
That ship had sailed. Our parting was inevitable.
“I can help you,” I said, shuffling closer to her.
“If you want me to. I can tell you where I’ve been and what I liked.
And what to avoid. Like the Mona Lisa—get there early, see it, and then get out.
Go and see the other Da Vincis in the same gallery, which are just as spectacular, but everyone wanders past them looking for the Mona Lisa. ”
“That’s a really good tip,” she said, scribbling away.
“And in Barcelona, make sure you just spend a day wandering in Gaudi’s park. It’s so beautiful; you won’t want to rush it. And in Venice, make sure your hotel is just off St. Mark’s Square—you want to be part of the hustle and bustle of the place.”
She’d stopped writing. “You’re like the best tour guide ever.” The light in her eyes dimmed slightly. “It’s a shame I can’t take you with me.”
I nodded, trying my best to make my smile spread to my eyes. “You’ll have the best time.”
She turned back to her notebook, nodding. “Yes. It will be great.”
Until she left, I’d hold on tight to her, and try to bring her some of the joy she’d brought me and Bethany. Even if Autumn’s joy meant the end of mine.