Chapter 22
Jay woke to the sound of retching. For half a second, he didn’t know where he was. Then it came again—loud in a house that was usually quiet. Blue.
He was already out of bed before he’d fully opened his eyes. After pulling on sweats, Jay dragged on a T-shirt. He stumbled out of his room, made his way to hers, and tapped on the door. No reply came, so he opened it and stepped inside.
Does this happen daily? Should I leave her alone?
But he was already moving to the open bathroom door. Blue was on her knees in front of the toilet, one hand braced against the tile, the other gripping porcelain like it had personally offended her.
She looked wrecked. Hair hanging forward, shoulders shaking, oversized T-shirt riding up her thighs.
She was carrying his child, and he or she was making Blue sick. Jay had read up on morning sickness and had to say he was glad it wouldn’t happen to him, especially seeing it firsthand.
He stepped inside the bathroom. “Blue?”
She gagged again.
“You okay?” he asked quietly. Stupid question. Obviously she wasn’t.
Blue ignored him and focused on breathing like she was exercising. He moved closer, crouched behind her, and rested a hand lightly at the back of her head.
When the worst of it passed, she sagged a little.
“You done?” he asked.
She nodded once.
He helped her up carefully. Has she lost weight? He handed her a damp cloth and flushed the toilet.
“Does this happen every day?”
She lowered the cloth and looked at him. Even sick, she had fire in her eyes.
“No. Every few,” she muttered. “You’re not that unlucky.”
His mouth twitched. She was still Blue.
“Saltines?” he offered.
“I’m showering first.”
She was standing there in nothing but what was clearly one of her brother’s T-shirts and cotton panties. Any other morning, he’d have noticed—well, he’d have to be an iceman not to notice, but she needed him to look after her now, not lust after her. She was so tired and pale, it worried him.
“Should you go back to bed, Blue?”
“I’m fine. Women all over the world are in the exact same state as me. I can handle it.” The words had a little bite to them now.
“I get that. However, none of them are puking their guts out in my spare bedroom.”
“You let me in here,” she protested.
Jay didn’t think he could win this debate, so he simply kissed her sweaty forehead and left.
He ran downstairs, grabbed some saltines and a bottle of water, brought them upstairs, and left them on her bedside table.
Jay showered at warp speed, which he never did because he loved standing under the hot water for ages. He then dressed and hurried downstairs.
By the time Blue arrived, he’d made coffee. She looked better than twenty minutes ago. Still pale, though, and fragile around the edges.
Blue McAllister was many things—loud, bold, stubborn as hell—but fragile wasn’t one of them. Seeing it unsettled him more than the vomiting had.
“You’re upright,” he said. “And you don’t look like oatmeal anymore.”
“Don’t get used to it,” she said. “I could turn green again at any moment.”
He poured her coffee and watched her over the rim of his mug.
“I thought I had a virus. How stupid could I be? Especially when some days I was puking. I just didn’t connect the dots.”
“Not stupid, but maybe preoccupied due to the employment situation you were facing and the fact that you have that condition.”
“Polycystic ovary syndrome,” she qualified.
“Right, that.”
She was scanning the room now and taking in his chrome appliances and how spotless everything looked.
“You really are a neat freak aren’t you, Jay?”
“In some ways yes, and in others no,” he conceded.
Her gaze kept moving around his space.
“How is the rest of your family going to react when they realize you’re here?” he asked. “Should I stock up on ice packs?”
Her eyes flicked to the fading bruise on his jaw. “I am sorry, Jay. My brothers are idiots.”
“Who love you,” he added.
“Maybe, but they’ve never understood that I don’t need them to fight my battles. They constantly interfere in my life, which is why I chose to live in New York, as far away from them as possible.”
“It must have been a hell of a change from here.”
“It was, and it took me a while to adjust, but I loved it. Plus, Phoebe and her brother were there too.”
“I’m glad you and Pheebs had each other, then, especially considering what she went through.”
She nodded, pain flashing briefly across her face as she recalled when a crazed person attacked Phoebe in the classroom.
“You hungry yet?” he asked.
“You don’t have to look after me, Jay. I’ve put you out by coming here. I don’t expect you to—”
“Blue.” He set his cup down and braced his hands on the island. “I love food. I can cook. If I’m cooking, I’m cooking for you. You’re in my house. And you’re pregnant with our child. So I don’t want this”—he gestured between them—“every time I offer to do something. Understood?”
“I’m independent,” she shot back.
“Congratulations. So am I.”
Her mouth twitched.
“You look pale,” he added. “Sit, breathe, and get your strength back, Blue, and you can cook me something soon. If you cook, that is?”
“I can cook.”
“Good because those Dukes come here and expect me to wait on them, so it will make a change having someone do that for me.”
“And I bet you go to their place and do the same?” she said.
He just smiled at that. “Did you sleep okay?”
“Yes, surprisingly, considering everything going on, but, Jay, if you need your space, you have to tell me, okay?”
“I already said it last night,” he reminded her, “but I’m saying it again: You can stay as long as you need. Now what do you want to eat?”
“Toast,” she said without hesitation. “I want to give you money for living here until I sort out what I’m doing, Jay.”
“Okay, we can work it out.” He didn’t need her money, but he wasn’t telling her that.
“Jay—”
“Blue, let’s take this a day at a time. We’re going to be parents, and that in itself is enough to rock anyone back on their heels. Plus, you left your job and aren’t sure where you want to land or raise the child. Am I right?”
She nodded.
“Okay, so let’s just do this, live here together until we can work out what we want to do.”
She smiled. “I like to have a plan.”
“Me too. Spontaneous is a swear word as far as I’m concerned.”
“Jay.”
“Blue.” He looked at her.
“Have you looked at your DNA results?”
“No,” Jay said.
“Right, then, get your laptop, and let’s read them.”
“We’re having breakfast,” Jay protested, scrambling for any excuse he could come up with.
“I can butter toast, Jay,” she drawled.
“I like the butter to go on when it’s hot.”
Her nose wrinkled, which looked way too cute. “I like cold toast.”
“No one really likes cold toast,” Jay protested.
“Stop changing the subject and go get your laptop.”
“How about if I just say no.”
“We’re going to be parents. We need to learn to live outside our comfort zones, or so my mother told me—although when she’s ever done that, I have no idea.”
He didn’t want to, and since he was an adult, he didn’t have to, but Jay found himself moving. When he returned, his freshly buttered toast was on a plate, and a jar of peanut butter sat beside it.
“What if I don’t like peanut butter?”
She reared back, shock on her face. “Then I can’t live here, and you will not get to see this child when it is born.”
Snorting, he reached for the jar and slathered a big dollop of peanut butter on his toast. He then licked the knife.
“You know, in my house, for all my parents run a loose ship, that is considered the height of bad manners.”
“Ah, but this is my house,” Jay said licking the other side before putting it in the dishwasher.
They crunched in silence while he stared at his laptop.
“I don’t think I want to do this, Blue.”
“I’ll do it for you, then, and when I find out you are part of the overly intelligent, tight-ass race, I won’t share that with you.”
He glared at her. “Hilarious.”
She looked good sitting in his kitchen. Right, Jay thought, but he kept that to himself.
When they’d eaten, he stacked the plates in the dishwasher while she poured more coffee. Then he wiped the counter down. Easy jobs that hundreds of couples did all the time—Jay and Blue weren’t a couple, though.
“Right, so you need to give me your passwords so I can get into your laptop,” she said, pulling it closer.
“Not happening.” Jay took it back and unlocked it.
“It really hurts that you don’t trust me, Jay.”
“That look’s not fooling anyone,” he said, taking the seat beside her. He then went to his emails and found the one he’d received back with his DNA details.
“You could be a cyborg,” she said, trying the lighten the sudden tension that was filling his kitchen.
He didn’t answer.
“Do you have the full report?”
Jay nodded and opened the attachment.
“Okay, so my friend back in New York did this and said you need to look for the inclusion match and exclusion no matches.”
He let her talk while he read. It eased some of the tension inside Jay to know he wasn’t doing this alone.
“Jay,” Blue whispered suddenly after they’d been reading for a while.
“I see it, Blue.”
“There.” She jabbed a finger at his laptop screen. “You have a half sister, and her name is Hazel Davis.”
He just stared at it. For so long, Jay had wanted a blood sibling of his own. The Dukes were his family, but he wanted a link to someone.
“Your mother,” Blue whispered. “I wonder if she’s still alive?”
“I-I don’t know.”
Blue’s eyes were scanning the screen. She’d taken control and was scrolling down as she read. Jay watched her in a daze.
“It’s probably wrong of me to say this about a woman I don’t know, but I was hoping she was dead,” she hissed.
“I agree with you,” he managed to get out. But he had a half sibling.
She looked at him then, a frown creasing between her eyes. Blue then wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in close. “I’m sorry, I was so caught up in making you look at these, I didn’t consider what you must be feeling. Are you okay, Jay?”