Chapter 30
Jay had flown to the Middle East and spent a week there working with US military staff on the ground regarding cyber defense and intelligence. He slept fleetingly and tried not to think about what he’d left behind in Lyntacky, but of course he had been.
Blue wanted to help him deal with past trauma and thought that connecting with Hazel may help with that, and as the days passed, he began to wonder if she was right.
It was hard to change his mindset when it had always been about protecting himself from his past. To open that door and let in what he’d pushed down deep inside wasn’t going to be easy. But, if he wanted to let Blue into his life, Jay knew he had to try.
He hadn’t allowed himself to check his phone while he’d been working, but as he entered his hotel room in Washington, Jay turned on his phone and read the messages that were waiting for him.
There was a message from Blue, but only one. He read it twice.
Time and distance had told Jay he’d reacted badly. Yes, she’d betrayed him, but he also understood the circumstance and how persuasive Dan could be. He knew she cared about him and wouldn’t have done it out of malice.
He’d also received five missed calls from Dan. Listening to his messages, he heard his friend yelling down the phone at him to call him.
“Where the fuck have you been?” were his friend’s first words when he answered Jay’s call. “I’ve tried to contact you five times, and you didn’t even bother to answer. You think I just call you for shits and giggles when you leave Lyntacky? Have I ever done that before?”
“Calm down, Dan,” Jay said. “What’s happened?”
“What happened days ago, do you mean?” Jay could hear the frustration and anger in his friend’s voice as Dan continued to rant at him. “It’s not just about you anymore, Jay. You need to be contactable, damn it!”
Blue, he thought. This had to do with her. “Is Blue all right?”
“No, she’s not all right. Fuck, Jay, someone broke into your house and stole her sketch pad. Then she tried to get it back from the guy, and he knocked her to the ground.”
He’d heard it said that a person goes cold all over when they’ve had a shock but had never really experienced it—until now.
Blue was hurt, and he hadn’t been there for her. Panic gripped him.
“Dan, tell me she’s all right,” he rasped.
“She’s okay,” Dan said, calmer now.
“What happened next?” Jay demanded.
“She called me when she woke up—”
“Woke up?”
“She hit her head when she fell and knocked herself out. I found her sitting on the sofa, the color of that shirt of yours I hate.”
“Pale lemon?” Jay whispered.
“It’s white, shithead. She was woozy and foggy in the brain. I was worried because I didn’t know how long she’d been out.”
“What?”
“But she was coherent enough to call me, and although she was speaking slowly, I could tell she was okay,” Dan continued.
“Someone broke into my house to steal Blue’s sketch pad? And they hurt Blue Jay?” Jay said, clarifying what Dan had told him. “Are you sure they didn’t search through any of my things?”
Jay never kept important information at his house, but people didn’t know that. If they managed to locate his address—
“It was those fuckers from New York, Jay,” Dan said, interrupting his thoughts. “They’d been texting her, trying to threaten her into giving them the designs she’d done for some fucking collection. Blue refused, so they stole them.”
“I’m going to kill them,” Jay snarled.
“I hear you, but not sure how we’ll pin it on them. I couldn’t find the guy but guessed he’d hightailed it out of Lyntacky with what he’d come for—or believed he had. Blue said that pad didn’t hold the New York designs.”
“Is she really okay, Dan?”
“Yeah. Birdie stayed with her the first night, but then her brothers arrived and took her back to the McAllisters’, not wanting her to stay at your place alone any longer.”
“Which makes sense. I don’t want her there if I’m not.”
“But the point is, Jay, do you want her?” Dan asked.
“I do,” Jay said without hesitation.
“Well, you’re going to have to work on that because Blue’s not someone who will be a pushover like those other women who have only dated you because you’re rich or have a large pecker, although that’s debatable.”
“Fuck you, Duke,” Jay said. Silence settled between them then, and it was him who broke it. “I’m sorry I overreacted.”
“Nice to see you having some strong emotions for a change, bro,” Dan said. “Now move your ass and get back here because we need you on the team in three days.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Good.”
“You’re telling me the truth about Blue, aren’t you, Dan? She’s okay?”
“Both she and the baby are all good. Dr. Hannah checked her over that night and again yesterday. I wouldn’t lie to you about something like this, bro.”
“I know, and thanks for taking care of her while I wasn’t there.”
“Always. Loving people messes with your head, right?” Dan said, and Jay knew what he was asking.
“I guess it does.”
“Nice. I couldn’t have picked a better partner for you.”
“Well, it’s a relief I have your approval because it’s important to me, as you know,” Jay drawled.
“Damn straight it is. Now about this sister, Hazel. You need to make contact, Jay.”
“Yeah, I’ve come to that realization too.”
“Nice to hear that leaving cleared your head, then. Love you, bro. See you soon.”
“Yeah, love you, too, Dan.” He cut the call, then found Blue’s number and proceeded to stare at it for several seconds. What would he say to her?
Jay went with a text message saying only that he had heard she was hurt, hoped she was doing okay, and that he would be back soon.
Rereading it after he’d sent it, it came across cold and impersonal to Jay.
But it was done, no going back now. He then pulled up the DNA email and clicked on the website link.
Unsure what the hell he was supposed to say to this sister Hazel who he didn’t know, he found the site’s internal messaging system and simply said his name was Jay and that she was his half sister.
When he woke the next morning, Blue hadn’t replied, but Hazel had. Her message said, I received a notification about you, Jay, and have been plucking up the courage to reach out to you. I’m so pleased you did it first!
But Blue’s silence told Jay she was pissed or hurting after the way he’d behaved. Or, she was too ill to message him.
“You know that’s not true,” Jay muttered. Dan had told him she was fine.
He didn’t reply to Hazel immediately, needing time to work out what he wanted to say. Jay instead, plotted how to go after those shitheads who’d hurt Blue. Then he worked through what he needed to say to her. He was still no clearer when he boarded a plane home to Lyntacky the following day.
He wasn’t a wing-it kind of person, but he had a feeling that was how this was going to go. Jay didn’t often feel nerves because of his meticulous planning to ensure he always knew what he was doing, but he felt them today as he touched down at the Lyntacky airport.
Could he fix what he’d broken between them? They were having a baby, so he had to fix it.
He’d told Dan he was arriving early today and what time he’d land so he’d be able to play in the baseball match, so when he stepped out into a fine Lyntacky day, he was surprised to see Robyn Duke there, leaning against her car.
“Are you waiting for me?”
“Dan had to work this morning and then set up for the game, so he asked me to get you.”
The woman still looked like she was in her thirties. Genes, Dan always told him. Duke genes didn’t believe in aging.
“Thanks, but I could have found my way home, Robyn.”
“Well, now you don’t have to. I have instructions to take you to your place, let you change, and then drive you to the game.”
“Right, the game,” Jay said slowly.
She pushed off the car and came toward him, arms open. The hug came with her familiar scent. Robyn had smelled the same since the first day he’d met her when she’d stepped into his don’t-come-near-me space and hugged him close.
He remembered the scared boy he’d been when she held him, every muscle locked.
He’d been certain she’d let go when she felt his tension.
She hadn’t. Instead, she held on until his body had no choice but to soften.
Until something in him had cracked just enough to let warmth in.
It had been the first hug from someone who really cared.
“In you get. I got us coffee,” Robyn said when she finally released him, but only when she was ready to do so.
“Thanks.”
Jay climbed into the passenger seat and took the coffee from the cup holder. The first taste made him sigh. Strong. Perfect. “This was made by Ryder, right? I can always tell.”
“My boy is the best at coffee making.”
She didn’t start the car, but turned slightly in her seat and looked at him.
Jay blew out a breath, knowing what was coming. He’d had these conversations before with Robyn or Asher. The senior Duke version of an interrogation was gentler than most, but it was no less thorough. The car wouldn’t be starting until she’d said her piece.
“So, Jay, what’s going on with you?”
He stared at the dashboard for a moment, watching as a van rolled in to park in front of them. There was no point not telling her the truth because she’d pull it out of him anyway.
“I want Blue Jay McAllister in my life, Robyn. Want her and the baby to live with me as a family.” No more secrets, he thought. If he wanted his life to change, then he had to be the one to instigate that.
Jay had spent many hours wishing this woman was his mother. Wishing he’d been raised in the loud, boisterous Duke household. Where mistakes were talked through instead of buried. Where you weren’t made to feel like your existence was an inconvenience.
“Well then,” Robyn said softly, “you need to tell her that. Dan’s filled me in on some of what’s going on, but out of respect for your friendship, not all.”
Jay swallowed, his throat suddenly tight with emotions he’d forced down deep inside him for too long.