Chapter 11 #2
“I’m asking you to trust me.” Gabriel hesitated, as though he were asking something of Nicholas that he had no right to. “Can you do that, my love?”
My love.
Something about those two words felt familiar to Nicholas, but more importantly, they felt right.
“Yes. I mean, I can try. I want to. I can’t promise I won’t have moments of doubt.”
He’d spent too many years attached to his ideologies for his self-flagellation to vanish overnight. “But I do want you.”
That stupid burning sensation behind his eyes returned, but Gabriel smiled up at him like his tears were the sweetest thing.
“That was me validating my feelings for you again, in case you couldn’t tell.”
Gabriel’s laughter ended too abruptly.
“What is it?” Nicholas asked.
“I find that I don’t mind your tears when they’re ones of joy.” He collected what moisture he could from Nicholas’s lashes, then sucked his fingertip into his mouth. “You taste like sweetwater.”
Gabriel slid his palm around the delicate nape of Nicholas’s neck, pulling him in until only inches kept their mouths apart.
Nicholas licked his lips, whispering his consent. “Yes, please.”
Gabriel abolished the gap separating them, swallowing Nicholas’s plea whole.
Nicholas would never forget that first taste of him, the rich sweet tobacco, butterscotch and honey flavor that coated the inside of his mouth.
The latter two took control of him. His stomach cramped, the buried hunger inside him demanding to be fed.
Nicholas moaned into the kiss, sinking deeper into Gabriel’s lap, blood rushing between his legs. He wanted to claw into him, wanted to tear their clothes away and be taken right there, right then. He felt transported to another dimension, one where time and logic didn’t exist.
Heat rose from Gabriel’s body, practically sizzling along Nicholas’s skin. Nicholas didn’t care. He wanted more. He wanted to burn.
Gabriel fisted his untamed hair, tasting every crevice of his mouth before sending his tongue to the back of Nicholas’s throat.
Nicholas trembled, grinding onto Gabriel’s lap, needing his dick to address the craving deep inside of him. Gabriel nibbled down his neck, inhaling deeply on a shudder.
Bite me.
Nicholas shook the two words from his mind, thrusting his denim-covered ass along Gabriel’s lengthy erection.
“Oh, God,” he panted from the sheer size of it. Would it fit not so neatly inside him? Would it make an unholy mess of him?
Without thinking, he cupped the back of Gabriel’s head, urging his full lips to his neck. Gabriel latched onto him, sucking as Nicholas dry humped him without shame.
Things were escalating quickly, and Nicholas gasped at the feel of Gabriel’s teeth.
Gabriel broke away, gripping Nicholas’s hips to halt his movements.
“W-what’s wrong?” He could hardly breathe, and Gabriel wasn’t faring any better.
Gabriel kept his head turned away, eyes screwed shut as he appeared to be getting a hold of himself. Nicholas wanted to shout for him not to bother, not to hold back, to fuck him, hard, right now.
Gabriel’s eyes were wild when he finally opened them, a fire seeming to bank deep within.
“Can you wait?” His voice sounded like it’d been dragged over hot coals.
Nicholas’s gaze fluttered around the starless sky and endless ocean, searching for something to latch onto. He felt out of control, unable to tap into his own body as a myriad of sensations overwhelmed him.
“Look at me,” Gabriel ordered. “Let me anchor you.”
Nicholas curled his fingers around Gabriel’s unyielding shoulders, breathing slowly, following his lead.
“Can you wait?”
“Y-yes,” he stammered.
“Then we wait.”
“Until I can’t.” It was one of Gabriel’s conditions.
“Until you can’t.”
Embarrassment now occupied the space vacated by lust. He’d been out of his mind. Riding Gabriel’s clothed cock with a near-punishing force. His thighs still ached from the effort.
“Do you feel me?” Gabriel rolled his hips while trailing a hand down Nicholas’s flushed cheeks.
“Yes.” Nicholas pressed harder against his heavy erection. “You want me.”
“More than you know.”
“But we’re going to wait until I’m crawling on my knees for it.” He hadn’t meant to sound so resentful.
“No, Nicholas.” Gabriel sat up, his warm breath ghosting over Nicholas’s lips. “I’ll be the one crawling for you.”
Nicholas groaned. “Will you at least kiss me again?”
“Not right now.”
“Then you’ve got to stop saying stuff like that.”
They spent some time gazing at each other, sharing smiles filled with promise. Nicholas found himself lost in Gabriel’s innocuous touches, the crashing waves a beautiful backdrop.
“I could paint you in the dark,” Gabriel said after tracing Nicholas’s features for the tenth time.
“Can you actually paint, or is that a bad pickup line?” He grinned as Gabriel fought to hold back his own amusement.
Nicholas peered at the sleeping puppies inside. “Can I spend the night with them? With you?” He felt a newfound boldness that hadn’t been there a short while ago.
“You never have to ask, Nicholas.”
Nicholas toyed with a button on Gabriel’s shirt. “Think you can drive me home to get some stuff?”
Gabriel’s smile was wide and oddly boyish, as though he’d just had a wish fulfilled. “I’d love to. But you do know that means I’ll have to drive, right?”
Nicholas had teased Gabriel the whole ride back from the animal shelter, even curling himself around the dogs protectively when it seemed Gabriel would run head-on into a pole.
Mock horror spread over Nicholas’s expression. “Then again—”
“Too late.” Gabriel gripped his hips, preventing him from standing. Nicholas laughed, interlacing his hands behind Gabriel’s neck.
“You got us here in one piece—barely, but still. I trust you to keep me safe.”
“Keeping you safe is part of my job now. I take it seriously.”
“You’re so intense.”
“So you’ve told me,” Gabriel said dryly, standing and setting Nicholas on his feet.
“You think Marcus would mind watching them? I mean, this is a new environment for them. What if they wake up and no one’s here?”
“I’ll text him to come over.”
Nicholas rode in the front seat with Gabriel this time, punching his address into the GPS system. He felt at ease doing so, his usual hesitancy gone. Gabriel laced their fingers together before pressing on the gas. The powerful engine revved up, but the car didn’t move.
“Um, I’m pretty sure you need to put the car in drive first.” Nicholas yelped when Gabriel did so, speeding down the winding drive.
Half an hour later, Gabriel came to a screeching halt in front of Nicholas’s modest apartment building, nearly hitting the hydrant when the front tire jumped the sidewalk.
“That… was an adventure,” Nicholas said, feeling queasy. Gabriel didn’t seem to hear him, his excited gaze directed at the four-story walk-up.
Nicholas now understood why it’d been important that he liked Gabriel’s home.
“It’s not much,” he said, trying to set Gabriel’s expectations. “I mean, this is one of the darker neighborhoods in the city. We lost a couple more streetlights about a week or so ago. But the crime isn’t too bad.”
Moonless corners and dark alleyways were the bedrock of Irongard. The public outcry for safer streets and functioning lampposts had gone ignored for some time now, with many city dwellers calling for the mayor’s resignation.
“It’s what I could afford. I had plans to move into the seminary dorms, but there was no way I could do that in my condition. And then I decided not to continue with my graduate studies, so it no longer mattered anyway. Mateo offered me the extra bedroom at his place, but—”
“Nicholas.” Gabriel squeezed his hand. “This is your home, the place where you find sanctuary. You should be proud of it, and anyone who cares for you would never judge it.”
Nicholas thought back to their time at Kindness Refuge, to Gabriel sitting on the ground like it was second-nature to him. He hadn’t even batted an eyelash when Maxim scratched up his expensive shoes.
“Yeah, you’re right. Come on.”
They entered the old building, and Gabriel ran an awed gaze over the vestibule while Nicholas wrangled the key out of the janky lock.
“I like it already,” he said, as though he hadn’t noticed the chipped paint along the mailboxes or the missing floor tile in the corner.
“You do?”
“Yes. It has character.”
The building wasn’t a complete dump. The heat and hot water were reliable, and the landlord was a stickler about pest control. But it was no Madison Park, or the secluded oceanfront area Gabriel lived in. But maybe it didn’t need to be.
He looked around with a fresh pair of eyes, taking in the thriving Dracaena tree near the mailboxes.
It’d been dying when he took it off Father Murphy’s hands, and now all the tenants contributed to keeping it alive.
Nicholas inhaled the scent of the lavender pine cleaner the superintendent used.
Mr. Rory did his best to keep the building clean.
“I like it too,” he said, with increasing gratitude for Gabriel. He was suddenly excited to show off his apartment. “I’m on the fourth floor.”
Nicholas kept his gaze fixed on Gabriel as they moved through the compact space, not wanting to miss any of his childlike wonder.
“Do you watch the sunrise from here?” Gabriel sat in Nicholas’s favorite spot on the couch, the one with the perfect view of the horizon.
“Yup, the rain too.”
Nicholas chuckled, earning a questioning look from Gabriel.
“You take up half the couch, and you had to bend to step inside. Either my apartment is way smaller than I thought, or you’re bigger than I realized.”
“It might be the latter.” Gabriel flashed him a cocky grin.
“All these ego strokes are gonna start costing you.”
“Do I get to see your bedroom?”
Gabriel’s tone was less eager now, as if he knew the bedroom didn’t always come with the tour. He appeared appreciative of what he’d been given so far.