Chapter Four
Kytten
Cash was in church, and I was sitting here with my brother and some of the old ladies. I couldn’t help but wonder if they were talking about me in there.
Looking around the room, I noticed Dr. Jefferson wasn’t here. Maybe I scared her off. If not, I’d have to try harder.
Ellie wasn’t here, either. Though she was here last night for Thorne’s birthday.
Our birthday.
“I’m sorry I ruined your party last night.”
“Stop apologizing. You walking through those doors didn’t ruin anything. It was the best birthday I ever had,” Thorne said.
It was the best birthday I ever had, too. But I didn’t tell him that. I just smiled.
“Happy birthday, Kytten. I didn’t get a chance to tell you that last night,” Sam said as she waddled toward us.
“Thank you.” My voice was quiet, but my smile was firmly in place. This woman was important to my brother. He told me about her when we took a walk.
“Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything. But I can’t tell you about club business,” he said.
“No, I know. This isn’t club business.” I stopped walking. “At least I don’t think it is.”
Thorne turned to look at me. “What is it?”
“Why do you call that woman Momma?”
He took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. “Because that’s who she is.”
“She’s not your mom,” I said, scrunching my nose.
“She’s the only one I’ve got.”
“Thorne—”
“Listen, Rosebud. That woman has been more of a mom to me in the months I’ve known her than Mom ever was. She isn’t ashamed of me. Her little girl, Charlie, is my little sister. And those twins she’s carrying, they will be my little sisters too.”
“So, you replaced me,” I murmured as I turned away.
Story of my fucking life.
“No, I didn’t replace you,” he said as he tugged me close. “I never stopped looking for you. But Sam came into my life at a time when I needed someone I could talk to. Someone I could finally tell everything to.”
“You told her everything?” I stared at my brother, shocked he had opened up at all, let alone to a stranger. I hadn’t told Val everything. I hadn’t really told Val anything.
“Yea. That’s how she knew who you were. I talked about you all the time.”
“Mom said we were never supposed to tell anyone who we were.”
“Mom left us.”
“She didn’t,” I began, but he grabbed my hand and started walking again.
He didn’t want to talk about Mom and what had happened that day. But I needed to talk about it.
You can talk to Dr. Jefferson.
No.
“Hi.” Blinking away the tears that threatened to fall, I stared at the little girl in front of me.
“Charlie, this is my sister Rose. Remember me telling you about her?” Thorne pulled the little girl into his lap. Again, I found myself staring at my brother. He told this little girl about me?
“That means she’s my sister too!” Charlie seemed excited about the idea of me being her sister. Until Sam doused her excitement.
“Remember what we talked about? Kytten gets to decide if she wants to be in our family.”
“But why wouldn’t she? I’m lots of fun,” Charlie said.
I would have smiled, but I was stuck on Sam’s words.
‘Kytten gets to decide if she wants to be in our family.’
“And we have babies coming!” Charlie added.
“Charlie, Kytten just got here yesterday. Give her some time,” Sam said. I looked up at her.
“Kytten, are you ok?”
I blinked back the tears that had begun to fall. My voice was harsh, raspy, when I finally said, “I need Cash.”
“Go get Cash, Mimic.” Sam took Charlie, and Thorne got in my face.
“Why is Kytten crying, Momma?” Charlie asked.
“Rosebud? What’s wrong?” He was frowning at me. What did I do wrong that he was frowning? Was he mad at me?
“I need Cash,” I whispered.
“Mimic, go get Cash. Now,” Sam pressed. “It’s ok, honey. Cash will be here in just a minute.”
Everyone was looking at me, but I couldn’t move. I wanted to leave. I didn’t want to be here on display while I was losing it. My fingers scratched at my legs. They were waking up.
I needed Cash.
“Kytten, stop.” Sam grabbed my hands and placed them on her belly. “Feel that.”
Her babies were moving. They rolled under my hand. Teary eyes looked back at me. Why was Sam crying? What was I doing wrong? I wanted to ask her about the baby she was naming Rose, but I couldn’t form words.
All at once, the monsters stopped as strong arms wrapped around me. “I’m here, baby. What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. I couldn’t talk in front of these people. They were strangers.
“Talk to me, Rose.” His hands cradled my face and searched my eyes. “Someone get Mellie,” he called out.
“NO!” I dipped my head. “The mountain.”
It was all I could get out. The only words that escaped from the lump that had formed in my throat.
“Ok, Rosie. Let’s go for a ride.”
He picked me up and carried me outside to his bike. With my helmet on, I settled behind him, and he roared off.
My head was pressed against his back. But I couldn’t feel him. I needed to feel him. I reached up and removed my helmet, throwing it onto the road.
“Christ, Rosie. What the fuck are you doing?”
I didn’t answer him. Instead, I pressed my forehead between his shoulders. Cash grounded me. He kept the monsters back.
We made it to the top of the mountain. But when he turned off the bike, I didn’t move. I couldn’t. Not yet.
His hand rubbed my thigh. Deep breaths helped to calm my racing heart. I squeezed him tight before I let go and climbed off.
He followed me to the edge and wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on the top of my head. I took a deep, shuddering breath.
Something was wrong with the monsters. They hadn’t woken up. They didn’t hold back the tears, and I made a fool of myself in front of my brother and Sam.
“What happened, baby?”
“I can’t go back.”
“What? Why not?” He turned me in his arms, and the tears started again.
“Did you not see me in there? I was a blubbering mess. Thorne was mad at me. Sam was mad at me.”
“Baby, no one was mad at you.”
I took a step back. “They were frowning at me, Cash.”
“Baby, they were worried about you. Tell me what happened.”
Shaking my head, I walked away. “No, it’s embarrassing.”
“Rosie, emotions are nothing to be embarrassed about.”
I turned a glare on him. My eyes narrowed to slits I could barely see through because of the puffiness from the crying.
“Years I spent without a single tear, and now I can’t fucking stop them,” I yelled, my arms stretched out as if to draw his attention to me.
Not that I needed to. He hadn’t taken his eyes off me.
“Come here.” He grabbed my hand and dragged me across the space to the rock we often sat against. He sat down and made me sit between his legs, pulling me against his chest. It was like he knew it would be easier to talk if he wasn’t looking at me.
“Tell me what happened. What did Thorne say that upset you?”
“It wasn’t Thorne. It was Sam,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. I was pouting like a child.
Fuck, I was a child compared to Cash.
“Sam said something to upset you?”
I didn’t miss the disbelief in his question. I should have been offended that he didn’t believe me. But he had a good reason. She didn’t upset me.
“Not exactly.” Turning in his lap, I laid my legs over his and pressed my cheek to his chest. I wanted to be held. I wanted to feel safe. Cash did that.
“They talked about me,” I began quietly. “Thorne told her about me. He told Charlie about me.”
“Does that bother you?”
I shook my head. It didn’t bother me. It made me feel guilty. But I couldn’t tell Cash that. I couldn’t explain that I hadn’t told anyone about Thorne, other than Val and the Nyght Nymphs. But I didn’t talk to them about him.
I did at first. Until the monsters told me not to. “Did you know she was naming one of the babies Rose?” I asked him, still unable to look at him.
He laughed out a sigh, and I stiffened. “Relax, baby. I think I understand now. But why don’t you tell me everything?”
“Thorne calls her Momma.”
“He does. She has become a mom to him. She isn’t much older than you, believe it or not. She’s twenty-eight or twenty-nine.”
I sat forward and turned to look at him. He had to be lying. There was no way she was that young.
“It’s true. Sam met Jack when we were still in Arkansas. The night before we left, actually. She got pregnant with Charlie and then booked. It was only a few months ago that Jack found out he had a daughter.”
“She never told him?”
“She didn’t. It’s a long story, and she doesn’t come out the greatest, but she had some trouble.
Turned out her best friend was unhinged, so Mimic was one of the first brothers on guard duty.
Well, Sam got a phone call from her friend, and while she was honest about the call, she lied about the details.
“Mimic called her out on it. And when King made him apologize to her, he told her everything. He explained why her lying hurt him so much. But she wouldn’t tell any of us. Not even Jack knew about you.”
“He thinks our mom lied,” I said, settling back against Cash.
“About what?”
“He thinks she didn’t want us. Thorne believes Mom left with that man because she wanted to be with him, and he didn’t want us. But he didn’t know about us. No one did.”
“Okay, we are going to unpack that later, and you are going to tell me everything about that man. But first, tell me what happened with Sam. What did she say?”
“Charlie said I would be her sister, too. Did you know Thorne calls her his sister? He replaced me.”
“He didn’t replace you, baby. No one could ever replace you.” He kissed the top of my head. But he was lying. Val would replace me as soon as Amber went home. “What else?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I struggled to get up, but he held me in place. He was so freaking strong.
“Absolutely not. Talk to me. What did Sam say?”
I rolled my lips between my teeth. I didn’t want to say it. If I said it, it would make it real. It was one thing to hear it. But if I told him she said it, then it really happened.
“Kytten,” he warned.
“She said that I got to choose if I wanted to be in their family.” I rushed the words out. Still not believing she said them. Why would they want me? They already had Thorne and Charlie. Now they were having two more girls. One of them would have my name.
No, she was just saying it so Thorne would think she wanted me. She was probably afraid I would take him away from her.
“Do you want to be in their family?”
I couldn’t answer him. I couldn’t say the words. Not because the monsters were holding them back. But because I was. Because if I had to answer. If he wanted to know the truth. I did want to be in their family.
More than I had ever wanted anything in my life.