Chapter Thirty-Two
Kytten
It wasn’t the sound of Cash’s phone that woke me up. I didn’t hear the beeping of text messages echoing through the room until my eyes opened, and he was climbing out of bed. No, what woke me up from a deep sleep was the way he’d jackknifed out of bed.
“Someone’s at the gate,” he said when he saw my eyes open. My mind didn’t register his words as I watched him pull his T-shirt over his head and slip his feet into his boots.
I threw on some clothes, forgoing any shoes. He was right in front of me, hand clasped tightly to mine as we entered the hallway. Chaos reigned around us as every brother in the club rushed down the stairs and out the front door.
My eyes landed on the giant man holding a battered and beaten woman, and I knew immediately who he was.
Massacre.
And Amber.
My skin began to itch as I stared at the unconscious woman in his arms. This was my fault. My carelessness in talking to my brother led her to overhear something she wasn’t ready to know.
At least that’s what everyone said. I looked at Cash. He shook his head at me and moved to stand beside King. That small movement was him telling me it wasn’t my fault. And someday, I would believe him.
But not today.
“Holy fuck,” Romeo gasped. “Is that Amber?”
I took a step back when every Silver Shadow drew their guns and pointed them directly at Massacre. I could have spoken up. Could have told them who he was, but I couldn’t move. My body locked up tight as my mind railed at me that I was to blame this time.
Everything Amber had been through from the day she was born was done by men. But this, this was my fault. My jealousy and bitterness toward her made me careless.
Dr. Dunaway’s words trickled through my head. Telling me I had no control over someone else’s reactions. Trying to remind me that people made their own choices, and her choice to run away rather than talk to someone was on her, not me.
But that felt a little too much like victim blaming in this moment. I couldn’t do it. If there was one thing Dr. Dunaway had taught me, it was that we owned our feelings. My feelings of guilt and remorse were mine. It was what I did with them that mattered.
“I’m gonna kill you,” King threatened.
I groaned inwardly when Massacre grinned at him and said, “Good luck with that.”
“Oh my God.” Haizley stepped forward, slipping in front of Gunner as he growled at her.
I had gotten used to their dynamic. I still thought he was an asshole.
But he was an asshole who loved his woman and would do anything for her.
“You’re him, aren’t you? The one who saved her all those years ago. You’re Massacre.”
“Oh shit,” Cash cursed. “Someone go get Sypher, fast!”
King groaned as he put his gun away. “Why do I get the feeling that trouble just landed on my doorstep again?”
The doors burst open, and Val, Bane, Sypher and Dante poured outside.
They were all staying at the clubhouse, waiting for word about Amber.
They wouldn’t have received the text alerts.
Someone must have notified them. It probably should have been me, but I stood silently, watching everything play out.
“You promised me she’d be safe,” Massacre growled as Val stepped closer.
“She was,” Val gasped.
“Massacre, she’s hurt. She needs help.” Bane tried to look her over, but Massacre twisted away.
“Fuck off, Bane,” he sneered. “What the fuck are you doing here, anyway?”
Val grabbed Bane’s arm. “We can discuss that later, Massacre. Right now, Amber needs medical attention. King, can I use your club infirmary or do I need to take her to the hospital?”
“Patch has everything you should need. If he doesn’t, we’ll get it for you.”
Bane tried again to take her from Massacre’s arms. “I’ll carry her.”
“Take her from me and I’ll kill you.”
Val moved fast, stepping between the two men. “August, let him carry her. I need your help. Kytten, go help Patch get the room ready.”
Val’s order was like a bucket of cold water waking me from a trance. I looked for Cash. When my eyes landed on his, he nodded. “Sure thing, Val.”
“Massacre, please follow me,” Val sternly said, grabbing Bane’s arm and yanking him toward the clubhouse.
“Mass,” Sypher whispered close. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
Massacre glared at him and said, “I’m taking over.”
Massacre followed me down the long corridor to two sets of stairs—one that led up and one that led down. I rushed ahead, opening the door that led to the medical wing.
King had known what he was doing when he built this place. The basement floor held a series of doors leading to different underground wings. I led the beast of a man to the medical wing.
God was it only yesterday we were down here bringing new life into the world? Now we were here to save one.
Massacre gently laid Amber on the bed. She was dirty and beaten. I tried to push Massacre out of the way, but the giant man wouldn’t budge.
“Mass, I can’t do my job if you don’t give me room.”
“I can’t leave her, Kytten. What the hell are you even doing here?”
With a heavy sigh, I answered, “Long story. Just trust us to take care of Amber. Go back upstairs and tell King what you know.”
“Fuck King,” the overbearing man growled.
“Massacre, please,” Val begged. “Let us work. We haven’t been able to get any information on what happened. Anything you can tell Sypher and Nav will help us find out who did this.”
Finally, Massacre allowed Val to push him from the room, just before Cash stuck his head in the door. “Rose?”
I turned to him and smiled. “I’m good; I promise. If I need you, I’ll come get you. Or send someone else.”
He stepped into the room and pulled me into his arms. “You’re sure?”
“I love you! I’m sure. Go. Find out what you can; we’ll take care of Amber.” I leaned up and pulled his head down to kiss him then pushed him out the door.
I returned to Amber and helped Val remove her clothes. Gently we pulled away the matted clothing so we could assess her injuries. Bane stood by the door until we had Amber cleaned up.
He was seething. I’d heard about Bane’s temper. Usually, it was directed toward Montana. I knew he wanted to push us both out of the way, but this was his daughter. She deserved her dignity.
I took her vitals. She was unconscious but her breathing was good, though a little raspy. Her blood pressure was on the high side but that was to be expected with the trauma she suffered.
Patch had a portable ultrasound machine that Val had pulled over to check for internal injuries. The fact that her ribs were intact was a miracle. It appeared that most of the damage had been done to her face and legs. She was covered in bruises.
“August.” I stood quietly by Amber when Val walked over to Bane. “I need you to step outside.”
He straightened away from the door and looked at Amber before turning a cold look toward Val. “Why?” A shiver ran through me at the sound of his voice.
“You know why.” Val was in doctor mode. Not momma bear mode. She knew this needed to be done. Bane knew too. It had to be hard to see your daughter beaten and bruised, while you thought about the ramifications of what might have happened to her.
The injuries you couldn’t see at first glance. And those that might be more painful psychologically than physically.
“Meredith,” he rasped, his voice filled with the emotion of a tortured father worried about his daughter.
“It has to be done,” she said resolutely.
They stared at each for a beat before Bane turned and left the room. He didn’t slam the door. He wouldn’t risk rousing his daughter before she was ready. When Val turned, her eyes were filled with tears.
“I can do this,” I offered.
She inhaled a stuttered breath. “No. You’ve been through enough today.”
I stayed with Val while she performed the exam. As she removed her gloves, a sob tore through her chest. I rushed over and wrapped my arms around her.
“She wasn’t raped. I don’t know who the bastard is, or why he hurt her, but thank God she wasn’t raped,” she whispered.
“I’ll stay with Amber. Take Bane and go upstairs. Find out what Massacre knows.”
“I should stay,” she murmured, her eyes on her daughter.
“There is nothing you can do until she wakes up. I’ll keep an eye on her. I owe her this.”
“This wasn’t your fault,” Val insisted.
I looked at the beautiful woman lying unconscious on the bed. “No, it wasn’t my fault. But I’m not completely blameless.” I turned back to Val. “I’m ok. I promise. You asked me to look after her. Let me do this. For you and for me.”
Val searched my eyes, looking for the lie. I knew it would take some time before I would be trusted again, and I was okay with that. It meant someone cared. It meant people loved me enough to make sure I wasn’t hurting and that I wouldn’t hurt myself.
It was all I’d ever really wanted.
A family.
Val left me with Amber, and I sat on the stool she had abandoned. I rolled up next to the bed and held Amber’s hand. I felt for her pulse. A heavy sigh slipped over my lips when I felt the steady beat in her wrist.
“You weren’t at all like I expected,” I said, talking softly to her. I wasn’t sure if she could hear me. Studies varied on whether or not people could hear their surroundings when they were unconscious.
It was probably the coward’s way out but it was easier to confess my sins when I didn’t have to look directly into her eyes.
“I wanted to hate you. Hell, I did hate you. So many years I resented you. I wanted to blame all my problems on you. I did blame all my problems on you.”
I looked at the floor as I spoke. Guilt and shame flooded my system. Only this time I let them.
I deserved them.
“I judged you unfairly. Nothing that happened to me was your fault. You were just my scapegoat. It was easier to blame the faceless woman who Val loved with everything she had. I was jealous of you and when I finally met you, I thought for sure you would be a bitch. You just had to be a good person, didn’t you? ”
A small laugh bubbled out.
“I know we haven’t talked much since I’ve been here, and that’s my fault. You intimidated me. I wanted you to be a skanky club whore. I know how awful that sounds, but I wanted you to be a person Val was disappointed in. So she wouldn’t be so disappointed in me. That wasn’t fair to you.”
Amber squeezed my hand, and I knew she heard me.
“I’m so sorry, Amber. I’m sorry you found out the way you did, but give her a chance, okay?
She loves you so much, and no one ever taught her how to be a mom.
She’s fought her whole life for you. Fight for her.
You deserve to have a mom who would burn down the world for you.
If I’d told her about Syrena, I know she would have burned it down for me. ”
“How is she?” Cash asked. I knew he’d been listening. I didn’t mind. I had nothing to hide. Not from him.
“She’s still unconscious. But she’ll be okay,” I said, rubbing the back of her hand. I turned to look at the man who had changed my life. The man who, without knowing anything, gave me my brother back. The man who gave me an entire family. The man who showed me what love really was.
“We’ll both be okay.”