Chapter 15 #3
Their kiss grew even wilder, Seth panting into his mouth as Ren continued to touch him, brief, exploratory touches all over his clothes.
He’d wanted to know what this muscle felt like, and how this other one bunched when he gripped it.
Ren knew he’d spent way too much time thinking about it when he should have been trying to forget Seth, but he’d never done it.
Instead, he’d held on to the idea of him, on this crazy thought that if they just slept together, then he could get him out from under his skin.
But that was never going to work, because now the man was buried so deeply that Ren knew he couldn’t evict him even if he wanted to.
“God, please.” Seth begging was the sweetest thing that Ren had ever heard, and he intended to make him so crazy with want that he couldn’t stop himself. He reached over and tugged Seth’s t-shirt off.
Ren had seen plenty of guys who spent a fortune of time and energy and money in the gym.
Their bodies were hot. But none of them had ever set him on fire the way that Seth’s did.
He wasn’t a boy, he was a man, who’d seen war and all its horrors and used himself to protect others from those very same things.
He was strong because he had to be, not because he chose to be.
“You gonna just stand there and stare?” Even with the pleading edge to his voice, Seth was still cocky and confident, and Ren had to ignore the rush of arousal that surged through him. His cock twitched, wanting Seth’s hands and mouth and all the pleasure they brought.
But they weren’t doing that. Not tonight.
He reached out, trailing his fingers down Seth’s defined chest, tracing each freckle with his fingertip. Then he leaned forward and followed the same pattern with his mouth, nipping and sucking and licking each freckle, until Seth’s breath was labored and his own wasn’t exactly steady.
He could get addicted to the taste and the feel of Seth under him.
Maybe he already was.
“You’re such a fucking tease,” Seth said, his voice low and rough.
“You love it though,” Ren retorted lightly, enjoying the wrecked edge to Seth’s groan when he finally began to unbutton and unzip his jeans. “You’re gonna love this even more.”
He still hadn’t gotten used to how Seth often went commando, and when his hard length bobbed out from his pants, Ren leaned in and gave it an experimental lick up the side, hearing Seth swear and mutter above him.
“I got you,” Ren murmured, and this time let the head of Seth’s cock, red and leaking at the tip, slide between his lips, and he gave it a nice, hard suck.
He’d spent a significant amount of times on his knees, because he really enjoyed giving a blowjob. But he’d never gotten so into it, so fast. The last time he’d gotten to do this, in the shower, it had been so quick, but this time around, Ren had intended a much more leisurely, teasing pace.
He let Seth’s cock slide deeper, and then deeper still, swallowing convulsively around the remnants of his gag reflex.
Seth’s fingers dug into his head, into his hair, and held him there, and God, as good as that probably was for Seth, it was even better for Ren.
His cock throbbed in his pants, and he considered, briefly, trying to take the edge off, but it turned out that making Seth lose it was making him lose it too.
He couldn’t touch himself, because he’d come, and he wasn’t nearly ready for this to be over yet.
“Come on,” Seth said, his voice raw. “Suck me.”
And so he did.
It was wet and messy and perfect, and they both moaned as Ren took him deep, again and again, Seth’s hands still tight in his hair.
Ren could feel him getting close, his balls drawing up tighter, as he massaged them, slipping a fingertip further back and then further back still, just glancing off his hole.
To his surprise, Seth widened his stance, giving Ren an open invitation. He didn’t waste a moment, getting a finger nice and slick and sliding it back, pushing it in just a little as he sucked Seth’s cock hard.
He got only a moment of warning, but he knew it was coming, because Seth was like a volcano, primed and ready to explode, and he did, actually shouting as he came, his body tensing and then finally relaxing as he shot down Ren’s throat.
Ren slumped down, his knees suddenly aching, and it took him a second to realize that Seth was reaching for him, pulling him up, pulling him up against him, and then they were kissing again, and it was sweeter this time.
Softer. Seth leaned down and picked him up, their mouths barely breaking, and he carried him into the bedroom, setting him down on the bed and making quick work of his clothes.
It was Ren’s turn to plead. “Please,” he said. He’d been holding back, because he’d wanted to do this, but now it was like a fire in his blood, raging out of control, and if he didn’t get relief soon . . .
But Seth gave him what he wanted. What he needed.
He leaned over him, caging him in, never letting him forget who it was that was kissing him, touching him, and his fist closed over Ren’s hard cock, giving him exactly the kind of hard, insistent pulls he needed to send him right over into a mind-blowing orgasm.
Ren didn’t see where he wiped his hand, but a moment later, Seth was collapsing in bed next to him, their shoulders touching. Ren didn’t hesitate, merely rolled over, and settled his cheek onto Seth’s broad chest, fingers splayed out across his muscled ridges of his stomach.
“I will fully admit to being stupid about this.” Seth’s voice was warm and soft above him.
“Good.”
“That all you have to say?” Seth sounded amused now.
Ren considered this for a moment. His brain was still recovering from what had felt like the orgasm of the century, Seth’s fist having wrung it out of him one perfect movement at a time.
“You didn’t ask,” he finally said. “You’ve never asked.”
“Asked what?”
“Why I only ever hooked up. Everyone always wants to know, and usually they ask, eventually.”
It was Seth’s turn to be silent for a few seconds. Then it became a full minute. “I figured,” he said, his voice careful, “that if you wanted to tell me, you would.”
“Everyone always assumes it’s some kind of sad story,” Ren said. “Some sob story where I got my heart broken terribly, and I vowed never to love again, or some such bullshit.”
“I never assumed it was that,” Seth said.
“I know.”
It was part of why Ren was so crazy about him. He looked at him and saw him. Not some amalgamation of fantasy and imagination.
“All those other guys probably thought they could change your mind. Convince you love wasn’t shit, or something like that, right?”
Ren nodded. Then turned, so he could look Seth in the eye.
It was important that he see him for this.
That they see each other. “There’s no heartbreak, no sad story, I just .
. . I just didn’t want to. I wasn’t out in high school, not at first, so those were just hookups.
Then when I did come out, it seemed easy—easier, anyway—to just keep doing the same thing, just less secretive.
And then . . . it just kept being easy.”
“It became a habit,” Seth guessed.
“It did,” Ren agreed. “And then it became just part of who I was. Admittedly, I got a little cynical. Lots of guys say they want more, but they’re plenty happy to settle for one night. It’s almost a relief.”
“But not me,” Seth said.
“No.” Ren hesitated. “No, you were different. From the beginning, you were different.”
Seth smiled, soft and slow and sweet, and Ren’s insides twisted up. It should’ve hurt, it should’ve felt like a warning, but instead it felt like a benediction.
“I was just me,” Seth said.
And that, Ren was beginning to realize, was the problem, and at the exact same time, also the solution.
“Well, thanks for being just you,” Ren said and pressed his lips to Seth’s.