The Music in Me

Chapter 8

Ifelt my stomach drop. “What?” I croaked and cleared my throat hurriedly. “Why would you say that?”

“Because it is. I should have kept things professional between us and not crossed the line. I take full blame for that. I know it’s going to take some adjusting, but I’d like us to go back to how things were before.”

I felt a tightness in my chest, and my thoughts were jumbled. “I don’t understand. I…”

“Can I have my collar?” he asked, and I flinched like I’d been struck.

Reaching around my neck, I slowly unclasped the collar and dropped it in his hands. He closed his hand around it and walked away. I remained frozen in shock and confusion, wondering if this was his way of punishing me. It didn’t feel that way. His anger was genuine, and I knew he’d meant it when he said this was over.

“No!” I snapped, shaking my head and rushing toward him. “You don’t get to just walk away. I demand an explanation.” He stopped and turned around. Resisting the urge to burst into tears, I raised my head and looked him in the eyes. “Is it because of Anthony?”

He was quiet for a long time before nodding.

“I told you, I didn’t invite him here. He just showed up, and I was trying to send him away when you returned. I know this weekend was supposed to be just the two of us, and he ruined that, but that doesn’t mean we have to stop now.”

“Do you think this is about this weekend? I don’t even care that he showed up.” His voice was deep and his tone low, but every word carried a punch. “I care that you haven’t gotten over that loser.”

“What do you mean? Of course, I’ve gotten over Anthony. I told him that just now. I even said no when he asked…”

“You want to marry him?” he asked, surprising me. “That’s right. I heard your conversation. I heard him promise to marry you and give you what he thinks you want. Do you want to know what I also heard? You considered his offer before you told him no.”

“But I told him no,” I cried. “I told him no.”

“Maybe, but it’s clear you are not over him, and I realize now that bringing you here was a big mistake. You’re too far gone for me to help you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Why do you think we are here, Kira? Do you think I brought you here so I can chain you to my bed and spank you? So I can put a collar around you and fuck you?” He glanced at the collar in his hand and pushed it in his pocket. “For years, I watched you date one loser after the other, and it hurt to see you give yourself to these men who didn’t deserve you. Do you have any idea how many times I thought about locking you in a room with me and spanking you until you came to your senses?”

My eyes widened, and he chuckled dryly.

“I didn’t because I didn’t feel like it was my place, and you always came to your senses before it got too far. Then you met this asshole, and I watched you lose yourself completely. You were so far gone into him it was impossible to get to you. I tried to caution you and ask you to go slow, but you were in love and didn’t hear me. You started talking about marrying this guy who doesn’t deserve you, and I was truly scared for you. I knew then that I had to do something.”

“You leaked the story of Anthony cheating to the press?”

“Fuck no. I would never hurt you like that. I knew he was cheating on you. Everyone knew except you, it seems. But I needed evidence, so I got a private investigator to follow him. He got me the pictures I needed, and I took them to Anthony. Told him to leave you alone or I was going to show you the pictures. The next day, news of his cheating got leaked, and the picture on the front page was the same picture I’d shown him.”

I gasped and clutched at my chest. “Anthony leaked the story of him cheating on me?”

“Nothing like bad press, right? It’s not the first time he’s done something like that. Haven’t you ever wondered how the paparazzi always found you guys when you go out? He’s been using you since the very first day he met you, Kira. And I’ve been doing my best to protect you. Why do you think I always said no when you wanted to make a song with him?”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because it wouldn’t have mattered. Even worse, I was worried I would lose you if I pushed too hard. Well, it seemed I didn’t need to. You found out about his cheating and broke up with him. Except you never actually got over him. Why do you think you can’t write, Kira?” he asked quietly. “You’ve always written from the heart, but how can you do that when your heart is still with a man who didn’t even love you enough to stay faithful to you.”

I shook my head. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Don’t I? You seem to have forgotten that I’ve been there from the start. I’ve watched you go through highs and lows. I was there through every single one of your albums, through the heartbreaks and joys that inspired those songs. You can’t write because you gave so much of yourself to that asshole that you no longer remember who you were before him.

“So I brought you here. Away from the noise and the media. Away from everything that reminded you of him. And I tried to remind you of who you are. The horse ride and painting. The visit to the sanctuary. Remember how happy you were meeting the wolves? That was the real you, Kira. You were carefree and capable of seeing the beauty in everything. I saw glimpses of the old you, Kira, and I thought you were finally back. So I drove back to the city to get your old guitar.”

My eyes widened, and he nodded.

“That’s right. I figured it was the last key to unlocking the old you. I left and came back to find him here, his hands all over you, and you still in love with him.”

“That’s not true,” I cried, leaving the tears to fall. There was no point in stopping them now. “I don’t love him anymore. I sent him away, for crying out loud. Would I have done that if I was still in love with him?”

“I heard the pause, Kira. I also heard you tell me to leave you alone with him while you wore my collar around your neck,” he growled, and I saw his body vibrate with fury.

I should be scared of him, but I wasn’t. Perhaps it was the pain dulling my senses, or the fact I knew that he would never hurt me in a million years. Not in this way at least. “So you brought me here to do what? Fix me?” I asked, channeling my hurt to anger.

“Yes,” he said. “I guess I was wasting my time.”

“If this was to remind me of who I was, why the cuffs and the chains, then?” I moved toward him and didn’t stop until I was standing right over his legs. “What was the point of all the games and the sex? How was that supposed to fix me?”

“It wasn’t,” he said slowly, and the cloud of anger in his eyes parted to reveal the pain he was holding inside. I’d hurt him, but I didn’t know how, or that I even could. “It was a stupid fantasy I’d held on to for so long, and I forgot things never go the way you want in the real world.”

“Leon,” I called, wishing he’d be straightforward. “You’re not being fair to me.”

He looked at me, his gaze tender as he cupped my cheeks. “No, I’m not. But I don’t have anything else to give you, Kira. You were so scared of yourself after Anthony that it scared me. I’ve never seen you so indecisive and lost. You stopped trusting yourself and I wanted to remind you that even though trusting yourself sometimes leads to pain, the pleasure that comes from it is worth it.

“You think it’s only about control? The whips and the cuffs?” He shook his head. “It’s not. It’s also about trust. Trusting that I’ll never give you more than you can take. It’s about trusting yourself to walk to the very edge of the cliff and not fall off. I was trying to teach you the power you held in your hands.

“But how can I teach you to trust yourself when you don’t even know who you are? How can I teach you to see how much I love you when you don’t love yourself enough to see that a million Anthonys don’t deserve a second of your time? I’m done trying to teach you.”

His words were like sledgehammers, and I felt my heart break into a million pieces. Somehow, this rejection hurt a million times more than finding out Anthony had been cheating on me, and as I watched him turn around and walk away, leaving me alone in the hallway, I felt my world turn dark.

I stumbled to the kitchen, breathing hard and trying to fit the jumbled pieces of the puzzle together. Leon had said so much, more than I could take, it seems. I poured myself a glass of wine but could not drink it. His words kept ringing in my ears.

“How can I teach you to trust yourself when you don’t even know who you are? How can I teach you to see how much I love you when you don’t love yourself…?”

The pieces clicked, and I froze as I saw what I’d been missing. I didn’t give myself time to change my mind and went to Leon’s room instead. I pushed it open without knocking and entered to find him undressing in front of the closet. His shirt was unbuttoned, and he was taking off his wristwatch.

He barely reacted to my unannounced entrance and casually dropped the watch in the case before shrugging off his shirt.

“I’m tired, Kira. Can we do this tomorrow?”

I waited until he turned around, unzipping my dress and shrugging my shoulders until it pooled at my feet. The bra went next, and I dropped it on the floor. I kept my eyes on Leon as I grabbed my panties and rolled them down my legs.

“Whatever you’re doing, Kira, it’s not going to work,” he said, glowering at me.

I tossed the panties at his feet and then slowly went on my knees, naked as the day I was born, except for white stockings that reached the bottom of my thighs. I sat on the back of my legs and kept my head bowed.

“Teach me,” I said. “Teach me to trust myself, Leon. Help me find myself.”

“Kira…”

“Show me how to love myself,” I continued, laying my heart out in front of him. I had nothing left to lose except him. “Show me how much you love me, Daddy,” I whispered with tears falling from my eyes.

I heard a sharp intake of breath but kept my head down.

“Why should I?” he asked, and I heard him come closer until I was staring at his feet. “Look at me, Kira. Look at me and tell me why I should do what you’re asking me to?”

I raised my head and looked into his eyes. “Because you want to do it as much as I need you to.”

He stared at me for what felt like an eternity. Then he held out his hand, and I took it. He pulled me up and looked into my eyes.

“Are you sure?” he asked, and I nodded without hesitation.

“Words, Kira,” he corrected gently. “I need to hear you say it.”

“Yes, Daddy,” I said. “I’m sure.”

He reached under the bed and pulled out his box of toys. I felt a pulse between my legs, and I became breathless with anticipation. The first thing he pulled out was a blindfold, and he placed it around my eyes, making sure it was tight and snug but not constricting.

“There are going to be no limits tonight, Kira,” he warned, his voice low and oddly worried. “I get to do whatever I want, and we don’t stop until you say the safe word, Kira. Even if it takes us all night.”

It felt like he was giving me one last chance to walk away when all I wanted was for him to get started and give me a chance that I could be who he wanted me to be. “I’m ready, Daddy,” I whispered, cocking my ear toward the sound of his voice.

“Okay.”

He took my hand and led me to the middle of the room. I could hear the sound of wood scraping on the floor and metal being moved but had no idea what was happening. There was something ominous about being able to hear but not see what was happening. My imagination was running wild, and I would have been scared if I was with anyone but Leon.

I jumped when he stepped back behind me and placed his hand on my back.

“Easy,” he said, pushing me forward. “It’s just you and me tonight, baby.”

He directed me to lie on a flat surface, and I recognized the bench we’d used the day before. Only this time, it was inclined. I lay down with my head at the lower end and my legs hanging over the other side.

“This is a spreader bar,” he explained as he placed straps on my wrists. “They will hold those arms and legs wide open for me.” The bar kept my arms locked in place, and he did the same thing to my ankles, spreading my legs wide before securing it. When he was done, he took a step back. “See if you can move,” he ordered, and I tried to move my arms and legs. They only moved a few inches before becoming taut.

“I can’t,” I said.

“Good. Remember that when you think of escaping. Only one thing can save you now, Kira. One word and all of this ends when you want it to.”

“I’m ready for anything,” I said, tipping my chin defiantly.

“We’ll see about that.” He moved away again, and I could hear the box creaking. “You really messed up today, Kira,” he said as he rifled through the box. “Going through my things and wearing my collar without my permission. Putting on a dress you didn’t earn. Letting that asshole see you dressed in clothes I picked for you…” His voice got deeper and more menacing as he rattled off the list of my transgressions. “How many strokes do you think you deserve?” he asked, stepping back to me and standing between my legs.

“I don’t know, Daddy,” I said, hoping that magic word would grant me some mercy.

“Wrong answer,” he said, cupping my pussy and stroking my clit with his finger. “How many strokes, Kira?”

My breath hitched, and I moved against his hand. “As many as you want, Daddy,” I said.

“That’s right.” He took a step back. “As many as I want.” There was a short pause before he asked, “What’s the safe word, baby?”

“Yellow if I want you to go slow, and red if I want you to stop,” I replied, wondering why he was so hesitant to start my punishment. It made me even more determined to prove myself.

“Don’t forget that, Kira,” he said.

I heard something flick in the air and then felt the cool kiss of a leather flogger across my belly between my legs as he whipped me. I gasped, more out of surprise than pain. He flogged me again, and the leather bits tickled my skin. Several strokes were delivered to my body, each one harder than the first, and none of them landed in the same place twice.

The last stroke landed across my belly and caught the under of my breasts. This one hurt, and I cried out in pain. He immediately cupped me between my legs, rubbing my clit and squeezing my breasts at the same time. The pain was gone as quickly as it came, and I went from crying in pain to moaning as my pussy grew wetter and closed around his finger.

I had no idea what game he was playing, but so far, I was loving it. His fingers parted my folds and sent streaks of flames surging across my clit. I could feel nerve endings coming to life, and a throbbing heat washed over me as I arched and twisted my hips. Just as the pleasure began to build, he pulled and flogged me right between my legs.

“Oh my God!” I exclaimed, bucking against the current of pleasure that ripped through me.

“Stay still,” he ordered, whipping me with the flogger. My clit tightened from the pain, and my pussy pulsed with a flood of arousal. One touch would have sent me over the edge.

Leon didn’t touch me but resumed flogging me, this time harder than ever. It was starting to hurt, and whimpers of pain turned into groans. He flogged me again and again. Across my thighs, stomach, belly, chest, and breasts. A tip of the flogger caught my nipple, and I screamed out loud. My body stung from the pain, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle.

One last whip made me cry out loud, and I felt his breath between my legs an instant before he sucked my clit into his mouth. He held me open and worked his tongue inside me, gathering the pool of juice and sucking it into his mouth. Hands held me down as I bucked against him, forgetting the pain he’d caused me just seconds ago.

He moaned into my pussy, licking and sucking at the dripping wetness before moving his tongue higher to slide over my throbbing clit.

“Yes,” I moaned, too delirious to feel any pain. “Oh yes, Leon. Please don’t stop…”

He growled and continued to consume me with animalistic ferocity, tongue circling the tight bud of my burning clit and swamping me with waves of pleasure that made me lose my mind.

“Always tastes so good,” he muttered as his fingers replaced his hands. “Like honey and milk. Smooth and sweet… It’s mine, Kira,” he said. “All of it is mine, and you’ll do your best to remember that the next time you let anyone think they have a chance to take you from me.”

“Never,” I moaned, arching my back and pushing myself close to him. “It’s all yours, Daddy. You make me feel real good.”

“You want to come, don’t you?” he asked, and I nodded.

“Yes. Please, Daddy… Please, make me come,” I said as he continued to suck and finger me.

“I will.” His fingers slid through my juices, moving down to play inside me and then lower to circle the entrance of my rear. I jerked against him, but the touch was gone so quickly I wondered if he’d meant to do it. “Not yet,” he said, pushing himself away. “We still have a long way to go.”

I groaned in frustration as he reached under the bench and unlocked my straps. He pulled me up and made me lie on all fours on the bench with my chest pressed on the lower end and my knees tucked under me to raise my ass in the air. I felt something stroke my ass and down the middle of my back. It was a riding crop.

“Have you learned your lesson?” he asked, trailing the crop between my legs.

“Yes,” I said, and he flicked the crop, smacking the back of my thighs.

“Do you think you’ve been punished enough?” he asked, circling my clit with the crop.

“Yes,” I cried, tensing in anticipation of another stroke.

He waited until I relaxed before smacking me again, this time higher up my thigh. He was done playing with me now, and every stroke hurt more and more.

“Wrong answer,” he said, striking me three more times. “Have you been punished enough?”

“I don’t know,” I cried, tears rolling down my eyes as he struck me three times right near my clit. It was really painful, yet I wanted more and waited anxiously for the next strike.

“Do you think you’ve been punished enough, Kira?” he asked, massaging my freshly whipped flesh with the end of the crop.

“No,” I moaned.

“Wrong answer,” he said, striking me again.

I quivered and shuddered from the pain and pleasure of being whipped, crying out with each strike against my flesh. The sensations that whipped through my body burned me from the inside out, and I didn’t know if I should arch toward the crop or run away from its sting.

“Have you been punished enough?” he asked one more time, and I knew what he wanted to hear.

“Only you can decide that,” I cried. “You can do anything you want to do to me.”

“That’s right,” he said, snapping the crop against my ass, the back of my thighs, and between my legs. “I’ll decide when to stop.”

He struck me again and again, each stroke delivering pain and pleasure. I should not be aroused from so much pain, yet my pussy was soaked and dripping.

“You know what to do to get me to stop,” he said as he continued to smack me, striking me until every inch of my ass and thigh were sore and hot to the touch.

Tears rolled down my eyes, but I didn’t surrender. Finally, he delivered one final stroke that landed too close to my clit and made me cry out in pain. The next instant, I heard a buzzing sound, and a vibrator was pressed against my clit. The switch from numbing pain to sheer pleasure was mind-blowing, and I screamed out loud.

Two fingers slipped inside me as the vibrator pressed against my clit. I tried to snap my legs closed, but the bars held them wide, held me open and at his mercy.

“Yes! Oh yes…” I panted, clit fully engorged as the vibrator hummed against already sensitive nerve endings.

“This is how good I can make you feel, Kira,” he said as he stroked deep inside me and stimulated my clit at the same time. “This is what happens when you make me happy.”

“Please,” I begged, already feeling the orgasm building and worried that I was about to be disappointed yet again.

My body didn’t care. It responded to the sensations it felt, and I was gasping and crying, begging for more, hoping he gave me enough this time to relieve the growing need in me. He didn’t stop or pull back, and the higher I went, the more hopeful I became of reaching paradise. The pressure inside me tightened and grew taut. Just when I was on the edge of exploding, the humming stopped, and he stepped away.

“No!” I cried, jerking against my holds and thrusting my hips toward him in silent demand. “Please,” I begged. “Don’t stop.”

“Don’t plan to until you tell me to, Kira,” he whispered in my ear before stepping away.

This time, I took it for the threat it was and knew it would take everything in me to pass this challenge. Leon was determined to test my fortitude, and I did not want to fail him. I wanted him to be proud of me.

The familiar scent of strawberry filled the air as he returned to my side, and I heard him rub his hands together before slowly massaging my body. I was still sore from all the flogging and winced in pain as he rubbed the oil into my skin. He slid his hand around my body, cupping one of my breasts and tugging firmly on the nipple.

Then I felt something close around my nipples and almost climaxed from the mix of pain and pleasure alone. He did the same to the other breast, and I couldn’t help but moan, my pussy gushing as the sensations from the clamps threatened to drown me.

“Broke my heart, you know,” he said as he moved down my body. “Hearing that silence and knowing you were considering his proposal. Do you have any idea what it did to me thinking I was about to lose you?”

“Never,” I said, biting back a moan as his hands massaged the globes of my ass and pushed them apart to stroke my dripping cunt. “I’m all yours, Leon. Anthony never stood a chance.”

“You never should have given him a chance to make a proposal in the first place. He had no right to think he had a chance at claiming what is mine. Mine!” he snarled as he smacked my ass with his palm.

I cried out and tried to pull away. The harder I struggled, the more the weight dangling from my nipples shook. He spanked me again, and my body was wracked with agonizing pleasure as the twin sensations tore through me. It was hard to decide what I wanted, and I went from arching my back and begging for more to pulling away and asking him to stop. My ass burned from the pain, and my pussy wept greedily to be filled.

“You have no idea how beautiful you are, Kira,” he said, hands sliding over my aching flesh, soothing the pain he’d caused. “Do you know how many nights I’ve dreamed of staking my claim on you? Do you know how much I’ve waited to have you all to myself?”

I whimpered as his fingers began to play with my pussy, stroking and stretching, filling and rolling until I was moaning in pleasure. My ass still ached from the fiery sting of his hand, but my pussy was an inferno of starving arousal.

“Mine,” he whispered with his face right between my legs, causing me to buck as the heat from his breath sent pleasure ricocheting through my system. “All of you, Kira. Every single part of you is mine.”

“I’m yours, Daddy,” I cried, eager to finally get rewarded for all my good behavior so far.

His fingers slid through the pool of moisture between my legs, and I shuddered in anticipation. But he just kept sliding higher and higher until I felt his fingers caress my forbidden entrance. I froze and instinctively tried to clamp my legs together. The bar held them open, and I gasped as he began to massage and press the area around the small entrance. He continued stroking my pussy, using the slick cream that gushed out to prepare my virgin hole for penetration.

I was panting and moaning, unable to focus or think as sensations I had never felt before rolled through me. He slipped one finger in, and I bucked, crying out his name.

“Easy, baby girl,” he whispered as he slowly twisted the finger in my ass. “Let Daddy show you how good it can feel.”

Then I felt his tongue dip into my pussy as a second finger joined the first. I let out a confused moan, not sure if I wanted him to stop or continue. His tongue flicked over the lips of my pussy, stroking against sensitive tissues and distracting me from the fingers slowly stretching my ass out. He pulled out, and I felt something cool and slick as he pushed his now-lubed fingers inside me.

He worked me slowly, stretching and pulling inside my ass with his fingers while his tongue maintained the perfect balance of pain and pleasure. Nothing had ever felt so good, and I was whimpering and moaning, body shaking as I surrendered to his demands. Sweat dampened my skin, and my body pushed into new limits as the fire stretching my rear got hotter, and my womb constricted with pleasure.

I cried out when he pulled out, taking both fingers and tongue out of my holes. But he was back a moment later, and I felt something smooth and slick fill the hole his fingers had just vacated. He was filling me with a butt plug, and I fought to breathe through the burning sensation of being stretched so gloriously.

I screamed as the plug broke through the ring of muscles and almost climaxed from the erotic pain alone. Gritting my teeth, I huffed and puffed as Leon slowly pushed it in. He finally got it all in, and before I could get used to the sensation, he stood and pushed his cock deep into my pussy. I screamed, arching my back as he eased inside me. I had never felt so full, and my body was already begging for more.

“Fuck me,” I demanded roughly, pushing myself back against Leon’s cock.

He spanked me immediately, a warning shot as he found his footing between my legs. I didn’t care to be reprimanded. I needed him to start fucking me before I lost my mind.

“Fuck me, Leon,” I growled. “Fuck me now, damn you!”

“You want me to fuck you?” he asked, grabbing my hips and rocking against me.

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” I growled at him, tired of waiting until he was done punishing me. Tired of waiting to get what was owed to me. The plug throbbed in my ass, making my pussy so tight that every little motion left me creaming with arousal.

I wanted him to go fast, to pound me into oblivion and fuck me to a crashing climax. Leon pulled out slowly, making sure I felt every inch of his cock as he left my pussy empty and aching. Then he slammed back into me, and I lost my mind.

“Stop! Make it stop…” I screamed, even as I bucked against him, desperate to feel more of it.

“Not the safe word,” he roared as he pulled out slowly yet again. “You know how to make me stop, Kira.”

“Fuck that,” I snarled, pushing back against him. I wanted him again. Wanted him to fuck me even harder than before. “Give me more. I want more, Daddy.”

“Oh, I’ll give you more,” he snarled as he began to fuck me in slow, deep strokes that left me shaking and begging him not to stop. He didn’t listen when I asked him to fuck me faster, but that did not stop the inferno from building. With a plug in my ass and his cock stroking the depth of my pussy, it didn’t take long before I could feel the pressure of a climax.

“I’m going to come,” I said, warning and asking for his permission.

“Don’t you dare,” he replied, still fucking me as he held me close. “You don’t get to come until I say you can, Kira. Remember the rules…”

“Please,” I sobbed, unable to hold back the plea as pleasure ravaged my body and my climax slammed against me like a whirlwind. “I can’t hold it in, Leon. Please, let me come.”

“Not yet,” he hissed, slowing down his strokes and pulling me from the edge before speeding up again once he knew I was no longer about to orgasm.

I lost count of how many times he pushed me to the edge just to wrench me right back. It didn’t matter that I begged and pleaded, sobbing with tears rolling down my eyes as he slammed into me again and again. Yet with every stroke, I felt more and more connected to him, more eager for his approval, desperately clinging to the hope that he understood that I was doing this for him.

“You know how to make it stop,” he said, bringing me to the edge yet again, then pulling me back. I had stopped begging, simply moaning and whimpering as he continued to fuck me. “Say it, Kira,” he begged. “Why won’t you use the safe word?”

“Because…” I said but didn’t continue.

“Damn you,” he growled, thrusting back inside me and slipping a hand between us to play with my clit. “Damn you, you stubborn, stubborn child.”

I was too tired to do anything but lie there and let him fuck me. My pussy felt sore, but my body had not given up on finally getting that release, and within seconds, I could feel the sensations begin to grow and climb, streaks of pleasure tearing through my flesh and filling every inch of my body until I was ready to blow. But I knew I wasn’t going to. I knew he would pull away again once I got close enough, making it hurt a little more. Somehow, I found myself anticipating that, finding pleasure in being denied.

“Come for me, Kira,” Leon whispered, and at first, I didn’t understand what he meant. “Come for me, baby,” he said again, and his voice sent a shock through my system, waking up cells that had gone to sleep. “Make Daddy proud.” He pinched my clit hard.

I came with a scream, jets of something shooting out of my pussy as my orgasm exploded through every cell in my body. I was consumed by it, torn apart and held together by the same force, barely aware that Leon was still fucking me as my pussy quaked and convulsed from the pleasure. The plug in my ass tightened on every contraction, and I swear it doubled the sensations and made me lose my breath as I surrendered to the whiplash of pleasure and pain.

I was still shaking when he released my arms and legs from the straps that held them apart. They flopped uselessly to the floor. Next, he released my nipples from the clamps and tossed them to the floor. Finally, he gripped the base of the plug in my ass and pulled it out slowly, sending another series of contractions ripping through me. Picking me up, he carried me to the bed and laid me down before getting in after me and covering my body with his.

“Why wouldn’t you just use the safe word, Kira?” he asked in a strangled voice. “One word, Kira. That was all you had to say.”

“Because I trust you,” I said, my voice croaky from all the screaming I’d done.

“It’s not about trust, Kira. It’s about power and recognizing that you have more of it than you think you do.” He looked frustrated, almost scared as he rocked me in his arms. “I thought if I pushed you to your limit, you’ll realize that you also have a say in what happens to you.”

“I know that.”

“Why wouldn’t you use the safe word then?”

“Because I know you’ll never give me something I can”t handle. You’ve never done it before. Why would you start now?”

“Kira?” he groaned. “This is what I’m talking about. You can’t think like that. That’s how you end up with guys like Anthony.”

“I ended up with Anthony because he was funny, and in the beginning, he made me really happy. He may have had my heart for some time, but he’s never earned my trust. Not the way you have.” Pushing him back, I straddled him and braced myself on his chest. “You’ve protected me from the first moment I met you. Why would I think that would stop now?”

“Couldn’t protect you from Anthony, though,” he said, and I saw the pain in his eyes. “I knew he was no good for you and did nothing about it. Watched you fall in love with him and still did nothing. And when I found out he was cheating on you, I should have come to you. Instead, I went to him and gave him what he needed to hurt you even more.”

“You went to him because you were trying to protect me.” I saw it now and couldn’t believe how I’d missed it all this time. “Just like you think you’re doing now. How long have you been in love with me?”

I saw his whole body jerk in shock. “I don’t know what you mean,” he said and tried to sit up.

I pushed one finger in the middle of his chest and watched him fall back down. This was what he meant. The power I had. I felt it now, and even though he had the same power over me, it was my turn to wield the torch.

“How long, Leon, have you dreamed about having me here in this cabin all to yourself, to do whatever you wanted to me?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Because I need to know how long I wasted staying with the wrong person when the man of my dreams was standing right beside me.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. This was about helping you find your voice. I was trying to break Anthony’s hold over you.”

I smiled. “Anthony’s got no hold on me, Leon. He broke my heart, yes. But it’s not losing him that I regret. It’s losing the things he represented. Companionship, safety… love. All things I already have with you.” I slowly drifted down his body. “That”s why I paused tonight. Not because I was considering his offer, but because I realized letting him go meant accepting I would never get those things.”

“Why not?” he growled. “You have no idea how amazing you are, Kira. How beautiful and powerful you are… Plenty of men would die to give you all those things.”

“And are you one of those men?” I asked.

“I’m your manager,” he said, looking away.

Sliding my hand between his legs, I grabbed his manhood and felt it come to life. “I don’t think you can say that anymore.”

“Kira…” He tried to stand, but I looked at him, and he froze. “You know, when you first called me your baby girl, it felt a little weird. Now, I get it. You think it’s your duty to make me safe and take care of me. You make me happy, Leon. Now, I want to make my daddy happy.”

He opened his mouth to talk, but I was already lowering my head, and I pulled his violently engorged cock between my lips. He groaned and thrust into my mouth, whatever objections he had disappearing in a shower of pleasure. His hands slid into my hair, and I felt him tug hard as he wrapped one fist around the base of his shaft and fed it deeper into my throat.

“Kira,” he huffed in a strangled tone. “You’re killing me.”

I didn’t care. It was less than he’d done to me a dozen times already. I sucked and licked all around his cock, head bobbing up and down. I cupped his balls and heard him swear harshly as the iron hardness of his erection slid in and out of my mouth. My tongue found the spot right under the crown of his cock, and I fondled his balls as my tongue played with it.

“That’s it, Kira,” he said, voice dark and rough. “Suck that cock like a good girl. Make Daddy feel good.”

I took him as deep as I could, resisting the urge to touch myself between my legs where my clit throbbed, and my pussy grew wet with every thrust of his hips. Cupping my breasts, I played with my nipple, tugging and squeezing as I began to moan around him. My tongue was folded against the underside of his cock head, rubbing and stroking against it as he fucked my mouth, fast and hard, almost bruising the back of my throat. It only made me wetter.

His groans became more guttural, his words turning into a mishmash of gobbled speech, and I could feel his hips start to bunch as his balls grew tauter in my palm.

“I’m about to come, baby,” he said, and I grabbed the shaft of his erection.

“Not yet,” I said, pushing myself up. “I want you inside me when you do.” I straddled him, hovering just above his rock-hard cock and spreading my lips open to take him.

“Condom,” he said, reaching toward the bed stand.

“No,” I said, already lowering myself to him. “No condoms. I want to feel you, Leon. All of you…”

“Fuck me,” he moaned, falling back against the bed.

I looked down, desperate to watch him enter me, and moaned when I saw the way the swollen crest of his cock parted my throbbing sheath. An electric shock of pleasure spread across my body as I impaled myself on him. I stopped when he was only a few inches in and pulled back, mesmerized to see the way my juices clung to the top of his shaft. Then I lowered myself again, allowing myself only a few inches more before coming up again.

And he let me. He didn’t try to stop me or rush me even though I could tell how agonizing it was for him, watching the way my pussy embraced his cock. I saw how the slick wetness of my arousal clung to him, easing every entry and sending shock waves of erotic bliss spearing through the both of us.

Finally, I could not take the torture anymore and slammed down on him, crying out as he wholly and wonderfully filled me, stretching me out and stroking every nerve in my sex. He grabbed my hips as I began to ride him, nails digging into his chest as I worked him inside me.

“Yes, Daddy,” I cried, blood pounding through me as pleasure cascaded over me in hot flames that burned white. “Do you like it, Daddy?”

“God, yes,” he snarled, slamming upward. “Fuck me, baby. Let me feel every bit of that tight, wet pussy.”

I couldn’t breathe now and didn’t care. It had never felt this good before. I could feel the sensations crashing through me, leaving me in a daze of erotic bliss. I was losing control, crying and calling his name as I slammed my pussy down on the big, throbbing cock beneath me. My orgasm was like a wild monster, raging and slamming against me.

Falling forward, I buried my face in the crook of Leon’s neck as I clamped my pussy around him. He grabbed my ass and took over the job of thrusting, hips lifting as he pushed his cock harder and deeper inside me until the monster burst out of me. I screamed as I came, writhing and twisting against Leon as my climax tore me in two.

“I love you!” I said, reaching into the very depth of my soul and flinging the truth into the cosmos. “I love you, Leon!”

“Fuck me,” he roared an instant before he drove into me one last time.

Then I felt him come. Felt the way the heated, hard pulse of his erection throbbed with every shot of cum. I felt spurt after spurt, filling me up and heating up my womb. This went beyond pleasure. It was heaven, and I knew I would never want anything else again. There was no one else for me but him.

I collapsed on top of him, the both of us gasping for breath. Leon grabbed the back of my head and pushed his tongue inside my mouth.

“I love you,” he said, still out of breath, gasping the words like he could not wait to say them. “I’ve loved you for so long, and I don’t even know when it happened. Loved you so long, I told myself I didn’t want a family or children because I didn’t think I could ever be with you. Loved you so much it killed me to know I had hurt you.”

“No…” I shook my head, cupping his face and pressing my lips to his. “You didn’t hurt me, Leon. You saved me.”

And as I clung to him, I knew I had found my home. I belonged to him, body and soul. And he was mine.